October 29, 2015
Fatwa This! Islamic State! Danger! Romance!
Caption or create your own meme... Fatwas will be issued.
Probably against me, but you don't want me taking all the credit and getting all the reward.
July 13, 2015
Same Sex Equality At Last!
A Florida woman is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly using a dildo to batter her female domestic partner during a fight in the couple’s residence, police allege.Its not Kielhurn's first run in with the law, she was prison guard until police found 25 keys of blo in her rental car.
After the women tussled over possession of a dress, Officer Eric Blomgren directed Kielhurn not to touch the 47-year-old Capaner-Ridley. However, “Shortly afterwards the defendant intentionally shoved a ‘dildo’ in the victim’s face and grabbed her right arm while arguing whose it belonged to,” Blomgren reported.
As a result, the cop arrested Kielhurn for domestic battery. An arrest affidavit does not indicate whether the dildo was seized as evidence.
Ironic, anywayI bet she was popular among the inmates.
March 30, 2015
Gay Activists Outraged Over Wedding Cake
Atheists and homosexual-rights activists in Ireland are threatening protest marches. A local government in the overwhelmingly Catholic country has fined a homosexual baker in the village of Inch (County Clare) for refusing to produce a wedding cake featuring, on its icing, the inscription, “A man shall . . . hold fast to his wife — Gen. 2:24.”I can't believe those Nazis protected O’Riordan's rights against forced labor.
The baker, Robert O’Riordan, says that he considers the inscription to be an implicit rebuke of his own domestic living arrangement and an imposition on his right as an atheist to refuse assent to “any material endorsement of religious ceremonies.” Mr. O’Riordan regularly bakes other wedding cakes; the difference here, he says, is that the inscription requires him to acknowledge the specifically religious nature of the nuptials, thus infringing on his freedom of conscience.
No one can make you enter a contract by force, Well except for the government who forces you to enter contracts for car and health insurance.
Spoiler below the fold...
. . . Well, Mr. Sullivan is right. Or at least he would be if he actually existed. I invented the entire story above. Sullivan does, however, have a like-minded counterpart in Northern Ireland. His name is Aidan O’Neill, and he is a “prominent human rights barrister” in Northern Ireland. He is representing the Ashers Baking Company against charges by the Equality Commission for Northern Ireland that it is illegally discriminating against a would-be client who wanted a cake featuring Sesame Street characters Bert and Ernie under the slogan “support gay marriage.” O’Neill argued, quite cogently, that if these charges stand, then (in the Telegraph’s summation of his report) “Muslim printers could be forced to produce cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed” or “a T-shirt company with a lesbian owner [could be forced] to print tops denouncing same-sex marriage as an ‘abomination.’”I just want to bring a little common sense there. This law does not discriminate against gays.
It protects them. The law says that a substantial burden is required. The way this works is that if a business bills itself as specifically religious vs secular.
Lets take the example of Books a Million vs your typical Christian book store.
Books a Million is billed as Books a Million. So you might expect the find say Steven Kings novel The Stand. Whereas a Christian bookstore that is in business specifically to cater to "Christian Values" might not carry the The Stand.
If you've ever read the Stand you can understand that its not exactly Christian theology. It had situations and language that might not fly at the Christian bookstore.
So you can't walk into the Christian bookstore and get pissed off that they don't have The Stand or that particular back issue of Hustler Magazine you are looking for.
Same thing, you can hardly ask a Muslim halal bakery to bake the pork bomb for your gay Jewish wedding.
Under the Law you can still ask Chic Fillet to cater your gay wedding if that is what you wish.
See how this works?
January 30, 2015
Confirmed British ISIS Fans Are Porn Obsessed Losers Who Can't Score Chicks
I can confirm this, in conversations with some of them when they get pissed off hey send you gay porn. Never realizing that Duh, that having gay porn on their computers makes them, gay.
Which means girls won't let them touch them, because EEEEWWWW!
December 15, 2014
Twitter Terrorist Finds Out He Has To Off Himself
September 03, 2014
Theh Ghey: ISIS (ISIL/IS) Perp Dressed As Female Gets PWND
Stupid shit, doesn't he look lovely in those colors?
May 09, 2014
Evidence al-Qaeda in Yemen Acted on Fatwa Allowing Gay Sex to Stretch Anus For Bombs
Remember when al-Shabaab charged that one of the reasons they wanted to kill Omar Hamammi was because he possessed condoms? I do....
Anyway the Yemeni Army found evidence of homosexual activity when it raided AQAP's stronghold near Subaihi.
Yemen army found mass graves&drugs including contraceptives in the main stronghold of Mahfad of Abyan south, said the commander Subaihi— Nasser Arrabyee (@narrabyee) May 8, 2014
Its unclear if the contraceptives were being used for Halal gay sex or Haram gay sex. Either way its still like totally Eeeeewwwwww!
Hat Tip: Jane.
February 25, 2014
Where's Rusty? Top Homosexual Edition
A Ugandan newspaper published a list Tuesday of what it called the country's "200 top" homosexuals, outing some Ugandans who previously had not identified themselves as gay one day after the president enacted a harsh anti-gay law.Oh I see the problem is Christian Colonial hegemony!
Homosexuality has long been criminalized in Uganda under a colonial-era law that outlawed sex acts "against the order of nature."
Some Ugandan lawyers and activists have said they will challenge the law in court as unconstitutional and impossible to implement.
December 20, 2013
Indian Muslim Cleric Issues Fatwa Against Gays and Sluts GLAAD Silent
Muslim cleric issues fatwa calling for homosexuals to be burnt alive, pushed from high wall or stoned.But its just their culture to burn gays alive, racists!
But gay activists everywhere know that Phil Robertson is the real threat.
The cleric went on to state that a slut, or woman in a forbidden sexual relationship outside of marriage has no rights or claims that that a wife would have in regards to property or child custody.
I mean even less rights than a wife has now which are few. Women seldom win custody or support under Islamic common law.
May 29, 2013
(Hat Tip: IHateTheMedia)
Rense.com asks "Is Obama Gay?"
I've used a few of their pictures here, but also included a couple of my own.
The first sign you might be gay, is your wife looks more manly than you do:
Another sign is if you throw like a girl:
Do you flaunt and giggle?
Do you sit "pretty"?
Do you like to snuggle close to male friends?
...and hold hands while gazing into each others' eyes?
Is your wrist limp?
Do you enjoy eating provocatively in public view?
These are all signs but are not conclusive.
Remember, gay or not, you are the best you you can be!
May 14, 2013
Meanwhile, In Syria: Allahu Gaybar
Video states "Assad" troops but any stuff coming out of Syria is subject to scrutiny.
Not to say some don't do this because, well, they prolly all do:
April 02, 2013
Why Are Two Chicago Teachers Union [CTU] Thugs Concerned With Penis Sizes?
Jeremy Segal [aka Rebel Pundit] was assaulted covering the CTU march against school closures.
By Steve Gunn"Penis size"?
CHICAGO – The Chicago Teachers Union and the Chicago Police Department were obviously working in tandem last Wednesday, and EAGnews reporter Jeremy Segal was an unwanted party crasher.
Why else would the police arrest two union supporters for allegedly assaulting Segal during a union protest, then turn around and let them go without pursuing charges?
Segal was in Chicago Wednesday to film and interview protesters participating in a downtown rally against the planned closing of 54 public schools.
The rally was sponsored by the radical Chicago Teachers Union. Segal spent part of his time interviewing CTU President Karen Lewis, who stood mute for most of his questions, and the Rev. Jesse Jackson, who answered a few.
A while after his first encounter with Lewis and Jackson, Segal noticed a banner at the head the protest march representing the International Socialist Organization. He returned to where Lewis and Jackson were walking together, hoping to ask Jackson a question about the propriety of protesting with socialists[...]
Despite the obvious injustice of the incident, Segal said he probably will not pursue the matter any further.
“I wasn’t planning on it,” he said. “They didn’t hurt me. But I do think they infringed on my rights. They infringed on my First Amendment right to conduct my business. Jesse Jackson and Karen Lewis never told me to stop asking questions. None of their handlers or staff asked me to stop asking questions. If they felt I was in the wrong, they would have gone to the police to get rid of me.
“Instead they put the union muscle on me.”
Lame and childish and just think, these people teach children.
March 13, 2013
I am a gay man who has been single for seven years. I met this guy, "Mark," about 10 months ago and we hit it off immediately. We have almost everything in common except that I'm a Democrat and he's a Republican. We both know how we feel about our political differences and decided to continue dating anyway.
My problem concerns my other gay friends, mostly Democrats, who don't like Mark because he's a Republican. I have tried explaining to them that we overlook our differences and concentrate on the many things we have in common, and they should try to do the same. But they no longer invite me to gatherings and their phone calls have ceased.
March 10, 2013
War P0rn: The Final Smooch
Not too graphic but very ghey.
February 12, 2013
Iraq: What Is With Cross-dressing Terrorists?
The Iraqi police on Tuesday (February 12th) arrested three men wanted by the judiciary on terrorism charges in the Ur neighbourhood, eastern Baghdad.Omar, how many times did Muhammed tell you not to wear a short burkah?
Busted again and again and again.
January 30, 2013
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!
January 03, 2013
Nepotism is Bad Gay
A HIGH-RANKING MTA executive helped her domestic partner get a cushy railroad job and may have run afoul of ethics regulations, an audit report states.*My mental eye! It Burns!.
Sherry Herrington, the $170,000 operations chief at Metro-North Railroad praised her partner’s qualifications in an email to the human resources department without revealing their relationship, according to the report by state Controller Thomas DiNapoli’s office.
*Remember when two woman are in a same sex relationship if either or both are unattractive or Nepotists its bad gay. Um yeah.
November 03, 2012
Turkey: Muslim Who Had Sex Change Operation Wants His Penis Back
A transsexual living in Mersin who underwent surgery to become a woman has requested a change in regulations so that she can return to being a man by having a penis reattached to her body.Shorter: "I don't like praying in the back and/or in a separate room".
D.K., a 34-year-old originally from the eastern province of Van who describes herself as a believing Muslim, asked the Directorate of Religious Affairs whether it was religiously permissible to receive a penis transplant from a cadaver, but religious officials said it was impermissible unless the penis originally belonged to the transplant recipient.
“I am a believer,” said D.K. “I perform my prayers like a man, not like a woman. This decision has affected me a lot. I want a legal injunction.”
October 26, 2012
Where's The Outrage?
“I was getting ready for work and there was a knock at the door,” Wood emailed The Daily Caller late Wednesday. “I opened it, and a guy wrapped a ligature around my neck, slammed my head into the doorway, and smashed my face into a mirror, telling me ‘You should have kept your [f*******] mouth shut.’”
“He then kidney-punched me, while at the same time saying I was ‘warned,’ and continued to beat me,” he added.
Wood told The Daily Caller that vandalism preceding the assault, along with his attacker’s statements during the incident, suggested his sexual orientation and his politics each played a role.
Wood said his attacker’s reference to a warning likely pointed to graffiti he found painted on his car last week. The vandalism included the phrases “house trained republican faggot,” “traitor,” and “ur like a jew 4 hitler.”
It seems a hate crime is only a hate crime if perpetrated by a conservative against a liberal. The hypocrisy of the left is astounding.
September 04, 2012
Who Knew? Olbermann Has a Sand Fetish (Updated)
Update: Jose, in comments: "Just for the record - this is a parody of Keith's tweet from last night at the Lincoln Memorial".
And if you're not moved, even in the presence of mere sculpture, you'd better check your ability to be moved twitter.com/KeithOlbermann…— Keith Olbermann (@KeithOlbermann) September 4, 2012
Good one @Jose_Galvan!
Update II: Olbermann just didn't get it AND he linked to the Sand image:
August 22, 2012
Police Charge Nebraska Woman with False Report
I thought I was following up on an earlier post. But no, here's yet another Munchausen's sufferer.
CNN: A Nebraska "hate crime" that targeted an openly gay woman and that triggered responses from candlelight vigils locally to Facebook postings of support nationwide was staged by the alleged victim, authorities said Tuesday as they charged the woman with lying to police.Previous: Alexandra Pennell Ain't Skeerd!
Charlie Rogers -- a former basketball player for the University of Nebraska who identifies herself as lesbian -- told police that three masked men entered her home on July 22, stripped her, tied her down, and carved homophobic slurs into her body before attempting to set her and the house on fire.
But the Lincoln Police Department said Tuesday that "the physical evidence conflicted with Charlie Rogers' version of events" and that "extensive investigation revealed numerous inconsistencies."
August 09, 2012
Where's Rusty? Phobic Edition
A young man who told police he was beaten up in a would-be hate crime appeared in court today admitting that he made the entire incident up.
The story of Joseph Baken travelled from Missoula, Montana across the country when a picture of his scratched and bruised face made waves on the internet.
Now, Baken has declared in court that he made the false police report after video surfaced of him attempting to do a back flip and failing.
July 02, 2012
Is That A Tank Turret Or Are You Just Really Happy To See Me?
Andrew Sullivan proud of Anderson Cooper's gayness.
Anderson Cooper, he's not a f@ggot.
June 24, 2012
Syrian Rebels Lose My Support
June 01, 2012
Green Glo-Balls Power On!
We really should have guessed this one. In a world where straight men prance around in tights and capes, only the Green Lantern adds a stylish puffy shirt.
April 30, 2012
Rusty Declares War on Women
Updated: Chechen Women Killed for Loose Morals
Wait, lesbians need birth control???
UPDATE: Here's what a real war on women looks like:
Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov publicly announced that the dead women had “loose morals” and were rightfully shot by male relatives. He went on to describe women as the property of their husbands, and said their main role is to bear children.Thanks to William Teach.
“If a woman runs around and if a man runs around with her, both of them should be killed,” said Mr. Kadyrov, who often has stated his goal of making Chechnya “more Islamic than the Islamists.”
April 09, 2012
“Individuals who identify as straight but in psychological tests show a strong attraction to the same sex may be threatened by gays and lesbians because homosexuals remind them of similar tendencies within themselves."
March 15, 2012
I'm Boinking Sandra Fluke UPDATE: #JollyGreenCondomsCondom
Update by SH: For such a teeny weiney (really, look at image above) Fluke's Fluker pretends his teeny weiney uses this. I wonder how much that one cost?
February 28, 2012
And they told me they where "going fishing".
January 27, 2012
Congratulations to our own Xariif, who made it past this week's round on "Fear Factor"!
BTW, what they ultimately decided not to show was Xariif attempting to drink the other contestant's "punch" as well. Xariif did have one comment: "It's not quite as good as camel."
January 17, 2012
In case you guys are wondering why we haven't seen her in a few days...
A Los Angeles woman was arrested last week for offering sexual favors in exchange for chicken McNuggets, according to Burbank police. (Fox)
I heard someone offered her a McRib sandwich instead, but that just sent her into an enraged diatribe about the evils of the Jews and pork products. She has her standards, you know.
December 02, 2011
Islamic Science! Letting Women Drive Makes You Gay
Repealing a ban on women drivers in Saudi Arabia would result in ‘no more virgins’, the country’s religious council has warned.Whereas not letting women drive promotes good relations between young men and their goats.
A ‘scientific’ report claims relaxing the ban would also see more Saudis - both men and women - turn to homosexuality and pornography.
The startling conclusions were drawn by Muslim scholars at the Majlis al-Ifta’ al-A’ala, Saudi Arabia’s highest religious council, working in conjunction with Kamal Subhi, a former professor at the King Fahd University.
The study was based on an Imam sitting in a Coffee shop with a bunch of slutty Muslimas in an unnamed Arab state.
The science is settled!
I wonder how it helps the glory of Islam when the whole f*cking world is laughing its ass off?
November 08, 2011
Toronto Phobes to Separate Buddy and Pedro
Buddy and Pedro are two male African penguins at the Toronto Zoo who seem to have a connection — a very special, loving connection — that has zookeepers wondering if their relationship is more than just a bromance.The Toronto Zoo has decided to separate these two and cage them up with females hoping to force them to propagate their endangered species against their will. There was no comment from the scientists as to if the penguins' homosexuality contributed to their status as an endangered species.
I've sent repeated emails asking them rename the pair Rusty and Vinnie and keep the happy couple together. All to no avail.
October 14, 2011
Leave America ALONE!!!
Twinkle fingers up if you agree, but twinkle fingers down if you don't...
Lol, I can't stop laughing. Thanks to Pat Dollard for sharing this gem...
Related: #OccupyWallStreet protesters desecrate the American flag... Remind me again when Tea Partiers did that?
And Obama and Pelosi supports #OccupyWallStreet. @AlecBaldwin says this type of protesting is good.
September 29, 2011
New Android App Tests Whether Your Son Is Gay (Not That There's Anything Wrong With It)
A new app for Android smartphones purports to provide an answer to the question "Is my son gay?" in 20 questions or less.
"After this test you'll have the proven answer to a question you might have since maybe a long time," reads the app page on the Android Market.
The app is currently $1.99. I downloaded it briefly to view the questions which, IMO, are so mild I seriously doubt the results are in any way accurate. Questions include:
"Does your son like sports?"
"Does he spend a long time in the bathroom?"
"Does he like to dress well?"
I think we, here at the Jawa Report, could do much better. So, in comments, come up with 20 question that would help determine the sexual orientation of a young man, and then we'll test them on Rusty to see how accurate they are.
September 15, 2011
Renewing his passport in Australia
August 10, 2011
Ghey Bert & Ernie: Incarcerated Ansar al Mujahideen/Revolution Muslim Members Approved!
Especially " abunancy"!
Online push for Bert & Ernie to get married on Sesame Street
"We are not asking that Sesame Street do anything crude or disrespectful," the petition reads. "It can be done in a tasteful way. Let us teach tolerance of those that are different."[...]h/t RC
August 06, 2011
The Jawa Report In PJTV's This Weeks Blog News!
Thanks to Howie's post on man boy love of the Taliban and Gerald for finding said man boy love on 6 out of 7 Taliban webmasters computers. Gerald PWND the Taliban's attempt at malware...the Jawas pwnd the website earlier and someone else hacked the Taliban and announced Mullah Omar was dead.
Tough 2 weeks for the MBLTalibanAssociation...lulz
h/t Herr Wilson