July 15, 2015
Polly Wants a Jawa
I think she wants some water to put out the blow torch.
Speaking of blow.
Whore! You dirty dirty whore!
July 13, 2015
Jawa Christmas in July!
Know the powah!
It getting about time to gear up on this new Star Wars gig. I'm so excited I could just sh*t.
April 27, 2015
X Wing Fighter in Space! (For REELZIES!!)
Or at least, the edge of space.
I had to click this link to see the backstory because, frankly, I thought it was a hoax. Nope, it's real:
That's no moon, that's a high altitude balloon. Two men in the UK, who jokingly call themselves the ESA or "Essex Space Agency" (a play on the European Space Agency) used high altitude balloons and high definition cameras to send an X-Wing fighter model into space and film it high above Earth.
April 22, 2015
This Can't Stand!
here's a rumor going around that when Star Wars is released on digital format tomorrow it will restore a key scene. Badass Digest reports that Star Wars will have Han shooting first.So awesome that someone cares more about the story than toys and the kiddies!
In 1977's Star Wars, audiences were introduced to Han Solo in a badass way. He is confronted by Greedo, a bounty hunter, in Mos Eisley cantina. Greedo wants to collect the bounty on Han, which was set by Jabba the Hutt. As the scene plays out we see Han very slyly reach for his gun and in a casual manner fires it, killing Greedo.
Then Lucas decided to alter the scene for the 1997 Special Edition re-release. Instead of having Han fire first, he had Greedo take a shot a Han. This destroyed a key component of Han's character development. We ended up with a generic self-defense scene.
Just downloaded "Star Wars: A New Hope" HD on Australian iTunes. No change from the Blu-ray - Greedo still shoots first god damn it.— Garth Franklin (@darkhorizons) April 9, 2015
Han Shoots First alternate
Because Fox doesn't know WTF fair use is
Also FOX no longer has a claim they sold out to Disney
Hat Tip: B'emet Or.
Updated: 04/22/15... As a kid I not only saw star wars. I had the Album and also the book. I hate to say the book has long ago been lost but thanks to the wonder that is Google we can now see the Han vs. Greedo encounter in its entire context. (also good if you want to read about Luke goofing off at the power station with his no good friends but I digress).
So you see Greedo had a gun on Solo and threatened him three times, also Solo didn't reply "I'll bet you have." to Greedo's "I've waited for this for a long time".
He replied, "I think you're right." to Greedo's ,"...for the last time."
Regardless HAN SHOOTS FIRST!
April 01, 2015
Use The Force!
The technical ramifications of this great discovery, facilitated by the use of CERN's Large Hadron Collider, are too complex to go into right now. Suffice to say that what you so far perceived as gravity, was some prankster Jedi using his powers to keep stuff attached to the Earth. Yes, the man has literally been holding you down all this time.The Force is also a gay rapist?
March 30, 2015
Imperial Star Destroyer Bombs Taliban
Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen .....
March 23, 2015
Actual Sandcrawler Used in Suicide Bombing
I, for one, mourn the loss of the Sandcrawler. The suicide bomber? Not so much.
March 05, 2015
Crashing Planes Ain't Like Dusting Crops Boy
A small plane piloted by Harrison Ford has crash-landed at an L.A. golf course ... but we're told the actor has survived.He was flying that thing? He's braver than I thought.
TMZ has learned ... Ford was piloting what appears to be a vintage 2-seater fighter plane Thursday ... when something went wrong and he crashed into Penmar golf course in Venice, CA.
We're told Ford suffered multiple gashes to his head and was bleeding. Two doctors who happened to be at the golf course rushed over to treat the actor.
Emergency personnel arrived to the scene a short time later. Ford was transported to a nearby hospital.
72-year-old Ford is a longtime aviator -- piloting planes and helicopters -- and has crashed multiple times in the past.
February 10, 2015
Finally: A Drone that Can Make the Kessel Run in Less Than 12 Parsecs
December 01, 2014
Click image for more but skip slides 1, 7, 9, bad gay.
November 28, 2014
You Can't Keep The Sith Down
July 31, 2014
Playing with his cats:
I guess he missed his playdate with Howie.
July 23, 2014
Death to Jar Jar Binks.
June 24, 2014
You will call me Master.
Hey just because something is new, doesn't mean it has to be bad ;-)
June 04, 2014
Where's Rusty?Totally Righteous Edition
Howie and Rusty, making commercials for extra scratch at 0:27.
Utinni! (He was like totally robbed dude!).
Hat Tip: AC/DC.
May 30, 2014
Darth Vader Trolls Luke With Twitter
April 04, 2014
Sadly, Ukraine Rules out Darth Vader's Presidential Bid
What does a Sith Lord have to do to get elected around here?
Ukrainian authorities have rejected a bid from a man calling himself Darth Vader, who wants to run in the presidential elections.Thanks to LarrO
The man, who appears in the costume of the fictional character from the Star Wars films and is often accompanied by people dressed in other Star Wars outfits, was nominated for the presidency by the Internet Party of Ukraine. Earlier he told the party's congress that he wanted to turn Ukraine into "a galactic empire".
Oh, I'll be out of town until next Wednesday. Hopefully Howie will be back soon, but he might just be enjoying the sponge baths a little too much.
April 01, 2014
Please Lord, Let News of Jar Jar Binks in New Star Wars Movie Be an Elaborate April Fool's Joke
Seriously, if this isn't a joke I may have to start that shooting rampage I've always fantasized about.
March 19, 2014
Two Things Jawas Love Most In One Video: Guns And Star Wars
March 07, 2014
What Really Happens When Arabs Achieve Freedom
Sometimes you get more Jihadis, but then sometimes you get.
February 22, 2014
What if A Christmas Story Was Set in a Galaxy Far, Far Away?
You'll shoot your eye out kid!
h/t: Depressed Darth
February 21, 2014
A New Hope for Oakland: Sure They Have Crime, but they also have Bacon and Beer
Oakland just went from a hive of scum and villainy to a hive of scum and villainy with potential.
Thanks to Anne
February 11, 2014
Science! Ancient Egyptian Landspeeder
January 23, 2014
Where's .... Everyone? Twerking is the Dark Side of the Force Edition
January 17, 2014
Which Star Wars Character Are You?
If I'm being honest, when I was a kid all I wanted to do was grow up to be Han Solo. Or Indiana Jones. Not Harrison Ford, per se, but the guy did get to play the two coolest SciFi characters in history.
Now if I could only find a bullwhip that did't break when you tried to swing on them my life would be complete.
Thanks to Laura
January 13, 2014
New Photos of Princess Leia in Metal Bikini Emerge
Call Peter Mayhew -- the guy who played Chewbacca -- a pervert for snapping these photos, sure. But he's my kind of pervert.
God bless you Peter Mayhew!
Don't judge us!
December 06, 2013
Friday Star Wars Bohemian Rhapsody
Thanks to Short Timer
November 28, 2013
A Very Jawa Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving to all you turkeys!
October 28, 2013
The Lost Return of the Jedi Laserdisk
Back in the day I worked for organized crime AKA an amusement company. Anyway I once dropped a Laserdisk for Dragon's Lair. It rolled on the edge like a penny, I was able to use my palms to save it before it ever touched flat on the floor. Which of course would have ruined the disk and put an end to my employment and my free Galaga fringe benefit.
For Star Wars fans, Christmas has come early. Last week, never-before-seen footage from Return of the Jedi appeared on Facebook, posted by a fan who bought an old LaserDisc that Lucasfilm created back in the '80s to showcase an editing system.All the clips are here.
The fan has posted nine videos to a Facebook page so far. Most are alternate takes of well-known scenes, such as when Luke Skywalker visits Jedi Master Yoda for the last time. There's also a minute-long clip of R2-D2 repairing Luke's X-Wing fighter on Dagobah.
October 17, 2013
Tragically, UK Scientists Proves Yeti is Polar/Brown Bear Hybrid
At least I've still got Sasquatch and Nessie to pin my hopes on:
Research by a British scientist has concluded that the legendary Himalayan yeti may in fact be a sub-species of brown bear.I think the interesting thing here isn't that he just disproved the Yeti, but that he found evidence that there really was an animal behind the sighting. If that's the case, then could Bigfoot be real-ish?
DNA tests on hair samples carried out by Oxford University genetics professor Bryan Sykes found that they matched those from an ancient polar bear.
He subjected the hairs to the most advanced tests available.
He says the most likely explanation for the myth is that the animal is a hybrid of polar bears and brown bears.
Prof Sykes told the BBC that there may be a real biological animal behind the yeti myth.
I've got to be honest with you, I've had a lifelong fascination with the paranormal, UFOs, and cryptozoology. The thing is, I don't actually believe any of it. I think it's all nonsense. But I want to believe. So, I continue to watch stupid documentaries about them. And if you tell me you believe in them my normal reply is OMFG, you are such a moron!
And yet, with all my mocking, there's ..... hope. I guess it's a nerd thing. It's in our DNA.
September 26, 2013
I Knew It: Lightsabers Are Real!
The line forms behind me:
The team of physicists say they have discovered a new kind of matter, using things called “Photonic Molecules.”Something in my pants just moved.
They say unlike typical lasers which pass right through each other, these bind together so you can whack them against each other.
They say it all ends up looking like the iconic Jedi weapon.
Thanks to Harry
September 24, 2013
Rusty Longs to Own Life Size Imperial Scout Walker for sale on eBay
Imagine this as your ride. You're stuck in traffic. The car in front of you is tiny and claims to be "Smart" for some reason.
Then ... you stomp on it!
Ok, so it's not a working model but I'd take this over a garden gnome any day.
Thanks to Short Timer
August 21, 2013
Star Wars + Beer + Australia = Better Than Episode I
I know, when you set a bar as low as Episode I what isn't better? But come on, this is pretty good.
Thanks to Short Timer.
August 13, 2013
And Now the Princess Leia Hijab
Would you please stop calling me that?
July 19, 2013
I felt a great disturbance in the force .....
h/t: Darth Vader via Darth Odie
July 18, 2013
Party on Luke!
My apologies Buzzfeed, our server won't let me upload that, too large.
May 29, 2013
Count Dooku's New Strategy to Bring Younglings to the Dark Side: Heavy Metal
And if you need any more evidence that this is the work of the Sith, contemplate who it is that Count Dooku is teaming up with to make the album: Judas Priest:
The record, which features track names such as “Massacre of the Saxons”, “The Devil’s Advocate” and “The Ultimate Sacrifice”, is likely to appeal to fans of Sir Lee’s fantasy films. Lee appears on the cover brandishing a sword and surrounded by fire....Thanks to Armaros
“I’m not screaming or anything like that, but it is definitely heavy metal,” Sir [Christopher] Lee said....
The album was arranged by Richie Faulkner, the lead guitarist for heavy metal band Judas Priest.