October 26, 2015

Rusty Wins Seat on Odessa City Council Chewy Arrested


Darth Sidious, aka Emperor Palpatine, was reportedly just elected to a seat on the city council of Odessa, Ukraine's fourth largest city.
Good. Goooooddddd!


Video has been released of the moment Chewbacca was arrested in Ukraine for unlawfully canvassing for the country's Internet Party.

The Wookiee was stopped by police on Sunday while driving Darth Vader to a polling station in Odessa where the pair were campaigning for Vader in the mayoral elections.

Ukraine's local election law forbids candidates from canvassing on the day of voting and Chewbacca was taken into custody after failing to show police his ID.

By Howie at 03:14 PM | Comments |

October 23, 2015

Where's Rusty? Darth Lenin Edition

Know the powah of the WIFI!

You got to hand it to the Russian not only are they drunk, they are very cool.

By Howie at 01:08 PM | Comments |

October 20, 2015

Sandcrawler PSA: Know The Powah!

By Howie at 08:11 AM | Comments |

July 15, 2015

Polly Wants a Jawa

I think I should get off her first.


I think she wants some water to put out the blow torch.

Speaking of blow.


Whore! You dirty dirty whore!

By Howie at 02:08 PM | Comments |

July 13, 2015

Jawa Christmas in July!

Know the powah!

It getting about time to gear up on this new Star Wars gig. I'm so excited I could just sh*t.

By Howie at 07:50 AM | Comments |

April 28, 2015

In Japan, R2D2 Flies You

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 04:31 PM | Comments |

April 27, 2015

X Wing Fighter in Space! (For REELZIES!!)

Or at least, the edge of space.

I had to click this link to see the backstory because, frankly, I thought it was a hoax. Nope, it's real:

That's no moon, that's a high altitude balloon. Two men in the UK, who jokingly call themselves the ESA or "Essex Space Agency" (a play on the European Space Agency) used high altitude balloons and high definition cameras to send an X-Wing fighter model into space and film it high above Earth.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 12:32 PM | Comments |

April 22, 2015

This Can't Stand!

It is said that Han vs Greedo would be restored to its proper sequence in the HD digital release of Star Wars A New Hope.

here's a rumor going around that when Star Wars is released on digital format tomorrow it will restore a key scene. Badass Digest reports that Star Wars will have Han shooting first.

In 1977's Star Wars, audiences were introduced to Han Solo in a badass way. He is confronted by Greedo, a bounty hunter, in Mos Eisley cantina. Greedo wants to collect the bounty on Han, which was set by Jabba the Hutt. As the scene plays out we see Han very slyly reach for his gun and in a casual manner fires it, killing Greedo.

Then Lucas decided to alter the scene for the 1997 Special Edition re-release. Instead of having Han fire first, he had Greedo take a shot a Han. This destroyed a key component of Han's character development. We ended up with a generic self-defense scene.

So awesome that someone cares more about the story than toys and the kiddies!

No Wait!


Han Shoots First alternate
Because Fox doesn't know WTF fair use is
Also FOX no longer has a claim they sold out to Disney

Hat Tip: B'emet Or.

Updated: 04/22/15... As a kid I not only saw star wars. I had the Album and also the book. I hate to say the book has long ago been lost but thanks to the wonder that is Google we can now see the Han vs. Greedo encounter in its entire context. (also good if you want to read about Luke goofing off at the power station with his no good friends but I digress).



So you see Greedo had a gun on Solo and threatened him three times, also Solo didn't reply "I'll bet you have." to Greedo's "I've waited for this for a long time".

He replied, "I think you're right." to Greedo's ,"...for the last time."


By Howie at 12:54 PM | Comments |

April 16, 2015

Hi Chewy I'm Home!

Hat Tip: WAPO.

By Howie at 01:48 PM | Comments |

April 01, 2015

Use The Force!

There is only the Force.

The technical ramifications of this great discovery, facilitated by the use of CERN's Large Hadron Collider, are too complex to go into right now. Suffice to say that what you so far perceived as gravity, was some prankster Jedi using his powers to keep stuff attached to the Earth. Yes, the man has literally been holding you down all this time.
The Force is also a gay rapist?

By Howie at 07:36 AM | Comments |

March 30, 2015

Imperial Star Destroyer Bombs Taliban

Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen .....

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 02:41 PM | Comments |

March 23, 2015

Actual Sandcrawler Used in Suicide Bombing

I, for one, mourn the loss of the Sandcrawler. The suicide bomber? Not so much.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 03:12 PM | Comments |

March 05, 2015

Crashing Planes Ain't Like Dusting Crops Boy

They told me the hyper-drive! They fixed it! They told me they fixed it!

A small plane piloted by Harrison Ford has crash-landed at an L.A. golf course ... but we're told the actor has survived.

TMZ has learned ... Ford was piloting what appears to be a vintage 2-seater fighter plane Thursday ... when something went wrong and he crashed into Penmar golf course in Venice, CA.

We're told Ford suffered multiple gashes to his head and was bleeding. Two doctors who happened to be at the golf course rushed over to treat the actor.
Emergency personnel arrived to the scene a short time later. Ford was transported to a nearby hospital.

72-year-old Ford is a longtime aviator -- piloting planes and helicopters -- and has crashed multiple times in the past.

He was flying that thing? He's braver than I thought.

By Howie at 08:07 PM | Comments |

December 01, 2014



Click image for more but skip slides 1, 7, 9, bad gay.

By Howie at 08:59 AM | Comments |

November 28, 2014

You Can't Keep The Sith Down

Go Sith!

By Howie at 12:49 PM | Comments |

July 31, 2014

Where's Rusty?

Playing with his cats:


I guess he missed his playdate with Howie.

By DMartyr at 09:37 PM | Comments |

July 23, 2014

Vader 2016!

For for a safe and secure republic.


Death to Jar Jar Binks.

By Howie at 11:36 AM | Comments |

June 24, 2014

In Time

You will call me Master.

Hey just because something is new, doesn't mean it has to be bad ;-)

By Howie at 02:52 PM | Comments |

June 04, 2014

Where's Rusty?Totally Righteous Edition

Howie and Rusty, making commercials for extra scratch at 0:27.

Utinni! (He was like totally robbed dude!).

Hat Tip: AC/DC.

By Howie at 07:37 AM | Comments |

April 04, 2014

Sadly, Ukraine Rules out Darth Vader's Presidential Bid

What does a Sith Lord have to do to get elected around here?

Ukrainian authorities have rejected a bid from a man calling himself Darth Vader, who wants to run in the presidential elections.

The man, who appears in the costume of the fictional character from the Star Wars films and is often accompanied by people dressed in other Star Wars outfits, was nominated for the presidency by the Internet Party of Ukraine. Earlier he told the party's congress that he wanted to turn Ukraine into "a galactic empire".

Thanks to LarrO

Oh, I'll be out of town until next Wednesday. Hopefully Howie will be back soon, but he might just be enjoying the sponge baths a little too much.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 05:12 PM | Comments |

April 01, 2014

Please Lord, Let News of Jar Jar Binks in New Star Wars Movie Be an Elaborate April Fool's Joke

Seriously, if this isn't a joke I may have to start that shooting rampage I've always fantasized about.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 02:05 PM | Comments |

March 07, 2014

What Really Happens When Arabs Achieve Freedom

Sometimes you get more Jihadis, but then sometimes you get.

By Howie at 03:50 PM | Comments |

February 22, 2014

What if A Christmas Story Was Set in a Galaxy Far, Far Away?

You'll shoot your eye out kid!


h/t: Depressed Darth

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 01:11 PM | Comments |

February 21, 2014

A New Hope for Oakland: Sure They Have Crime, but they also have Bacon and Beer

Oakland just went from a hive of scum and villainy to a hive of scum and villainy with potential.


Thanks to Anne

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:39 AM | Comments |

January 17, 2014

Which Star Wars Character Are You?

If I'm being honest, when I was a kid all I wanted to do was grow up to be Han Solo. Or Indiana Jones. Not Harrison Ford, per se, but the guy did get to play the two coolest SciFi characters in history.


Now if I could only find a bullwhip that did't break when you tried to swing on them my life would be complete.

Thanks to Laura

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:23 AM | Comments |

January 13, 2014

New Photos of Princess Leia in Metal Bikini Emerge

Call Peter Mayhew -- the guy who played Chewbacca -- a pervert for snapping these photos, sure. But he's my kind of pervert.



God bless you Peter Mayhew!

Don't judge us!

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 01:12 PM | Comments |

December 06, 2013

Friday Star Wars Bohemian Rhapsody

Thanks to Short Timer

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:34 AM | Comments |

November 28, 2013

A Very Jawa Thanksgiving!

jar jar for thanksgiving.jpg

Happy Thanksgiving to all you turkeys!

*img src

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 12:24 PM | Comments |

November 04, 2013

1 Billion Years in the Making....

By Howie at 02:53 PM | Comments |

October 28, 2013

The Lost Return of the Jedi Laserdisk

Back in the day I worked for organized crime AKA an amusement company. Anyway I once dropped a Laserdisk for Dragon's Lair. It rolled on the edge like a penny, I was able to use my palms to save it before it ever touched flat on the floor. Which of course would have ruined the disk and put an end to my employment and my free Galaga fringe benefit.

But I digress.

For Star Wars fans, Christmas has come early. Last week, never-before-seen footage from Return of the Jedi appeared on Facebook, posted by a fan who bought an old LaserDisc that Lucasfilm created back in the '80s to showcase an editing system.

The fan has posted nine videos to a Facebook page so far. Most are alternate takes of well-known scenes, such as when Luke Skywalker visits Jedi Master Yoda for the last time. There's also a minute-long clip of R2-D2 repairing Luke's X-Wing fighter on Dagobah.

All the clips are here.

The Project Droid Facebook page is here.

By Howie at 10:48 AM | Comments |

October 17, 2013

Tragically, UK Scientists Proves Yeti is Polar/Brown Bear Hybrid

At least I've still got Sasquatch and Nessie to pin my hopes on:

Research by a British scientist has concluded that the legendary Himalayan yeti may in fact be a sub-species of brown bear.

DNA tests on hair samples carried out by Oxford University genetics professor Bryan Sykes found that they matched those from an ancient polar bear.

He subjected the hairs to the most advanced tests available.

He says the most likely explanation for the myth is that the animal is a hybrid of polar bears and brown bears.

Prof Sykes told the BBC that there may be a real biological animal behind the yeti myth.

I think the interesting thing here isn't that he just disproved the Yeti, but that he found evidence that there really was an animal behind the sighting. If that's the case, then could Bigfoot be real-ish?

I've got to be honest with you, I've had a lifelong fascination with the paranormal, UFOs, and cryptozoology. The thing is, I don't actually believe any of it. I think it's all nonsense. But I want to believe. So, I continue to watch stupid documentaries about them. And if you tell me you believe in them my normal reply is OMFG, you are such a moron!

And yet, with all my mocking, there's ..... hope. I guess it's a nerd thing. It's in our DNA.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:40 AM | Comments |

September 26, 2013

I Knew It: Lightsabers Are Real!

The line forms behind me:

The team of physicists say they have discovered a new kind of matter, using things called “Photonic Molecules.”

They say unlike typical lasers which pass right through each other, these bind together so you can whack them against each other.

They say it all ends up looking like the iconic Jedi weapon.

Something in my pants just moved.

Thanks to Harry

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 02:39 PM | Comments |

September 24, 2013

Rusty Longs to Own Life Size Imperial Scout Walker for sale on eBay

Imagine this as your ride. You're stuck in traffic. The car in front of you is tiny and claims to be "Smart" for some reason.

Then ... you stomp on it!

lifesize at-at walker.jpg

Ok, so it's not a working model but I'd take this over a garden gnome any day.

Thanks to Short Timer

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:27 AM | Comments |

August 21, 2013

Star Wars + Beer + Australia = Better Than Episode I

I know, when you set a bar as low as Episode I what isn't better? But come on, this is pretty good.

Star Wars Downunder Trailer from Michael Cox on Vimeo.

Thanks to Short Timer.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 09:54 AM | Comments |