December 01, 2014

Victory!

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Click image for more but skip slides 1, 7, 9, bad gay.

By Howie at 08:59 AM | Comments |

November 28, 2014

You Can't Keep The Sith Down


Go Sith!

By Howie at 12:49 PM | Comments |

July 31, 2014

Where's Rusty?

Playing with his cats:

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I guess he missed his playdate with Howie.

By DMartyr at 09:37 PM | Comments |

July 23, 2014

Vader 2016!

For for a safe and secure republic.

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Death to Jar Jar Binks.

By Howie at 11:36 AM | Comments |

June 24, 2014

In Time

You will call me Master.

Hey just because something is new, doesn't mean it has to be bad ;-)

By Howie at 02:52 PM | Comments |

June 04, 2014

Where's Rusty?Totally Righteous Edition

Howie and Rusty, making commercials for extra scratch at 0:27.

Utinni! (He was like totally robbed dude!).

Hat Tip: AC/DC.


By Howie at 07:37 AM | Comments |

April 04, 2014

Sadly, Ukraine Rules out Darth Vader's Presidential Bid

What does a Sith Lord have to do to get elected around here?

Ukrainian authorities have rejected a bid from a man calling himself Darth Vader, who wants to run in the presidential elections.

The man, who appears in the costume of the fictional character from the Star Wars films and is often accompanied by people dressed in other Star Wars outfits, was nominated for the presidency by the Internet Party of Ukraine. Earlier he told the party's congress that he wanted to turn Ukraine into "a galactic empire".

Thanks to LarrO

Oh, I'll be out of town until next Wednesday. Hopefully Howie will be back soon, but he might just be enjoying the sponge baths a little too much.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 05:12 PM | Comments |

April 01, 2014

Please Lord, Let News of Jar Jar Binks in New Star Wars Movie Be an Elaborate April Fool's Joke

Seriously, if this isn't a joke I may have to start that shooting rampage I've always fantasized about.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 02:05 PM | Comments |

March 07, 2014

What Really Happens When Arabs Achieve Freedom

Sometimes you get more Jihadis, but then sometimes you get.

By Howie at 03:50 PM | Comments |

February 22, 2014

What if A Christmas Story Was Set in a Galaxy Far, Far Away?

You'll shoot your eye out kid!

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h/t: Depressed Darth

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 01:11 PM | Comments |

February 21, 2014

A New Hope for Oakland: Sure They Have Crime, but they also have Bacon and Beer

Oakland just went from a hive of scum and villainy to a hive of scum and villainy with potential.

Bacon-Beer-festival-Oakland.jpg

Thanks to Anne

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:39 AM | Comments |

January 17, 2014

Which Star Wars Character Are You?

If I'm being honest, when I was a kid all I wanted to do was grow up to be Han Solo. Or Indiana Jones. Not Harrison Ford, per se, but the guy did get to play the two coolest SciFi characters in history.

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Now if I could only find a bullwhip that did't break when you tried to swing on them my life would be complete.

Thanks to Laura

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:23 AM | Comments |

January 13, 2014

New Photos of Princess Leia in Metal Bikini Emerge

Call Peter Mayhew -- the guy who played Chewbacca -- a pervert for snapping these photos, sure. But he's my kind of pervert.

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God bless you Peter Mayhew!

Don't judge us!

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 01:12 PM | Comments |

December 06, 2013

Friday Star Wars Bohemian Rhapsody

Thanks to Short Timer

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:34 AM | Comments |

November 28, 2013

A Very Jawa Thanksgiving!

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Happy Thanksgiving to all you turkeys!

*img src

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 12:24 PM | Comments |

November 04, 2013

1 Billion Years in the Making....


By Howie at 02:53 PM | Comments |

October 28, 2013

The Lost Return of the Jedi Laserdisk

Back in the day I worked for organized crime AKA an amusement company. Anyway I once dropped a Laserdisk for Dragon's Lair. It rolled on the edge like a penny, I was able to use my palms to save it before it ever touched flat on the floor. Which of course would have ruined the disk and put an end to my employment and my free Galaga fringe benefit.

But I digress.

For Star Wars fans, Christmas has come early. Last week, never-before-seen footage from Return of the Jedi appeared on Facebook, posted by a fan who bought an old LaserDisc that Lucasfilm created back in the '80s to showcase an editing system.

The fan has posted nine videos to a Facebook page so far. Most are alternate takes of well-known scenes, such as when Luke Skywalker visits Jedi Master Yoda for the last time. There's also a minute-long clip of R2-D2 repairing Luke's X-Wing fighter on Dagobah.

All the clips are here.

The Project Droid Facebook page is here.


By Howie at 10:48 AM | Comments |

October 17, 2013

Tragically, UK Scientists Proves Yeti is Polar/Brown Bear Hybrid

At least I've still got Sasquatch and Nessie to pin my hopes on:

Research by a British scientist has concluded that the legendary Himalayan yeti may in fact be a sub-species of brown bear.

DNA tests on hair samples carried out by Oxford University genetics professor Bryan Sykes found that they matched those from an ancient polar bear.

He subjected the hairs to the most advanced tests available.

He says the most likely explanation for the myth is that the animal is a hybrid of polar bears and brown bears.

Prof Sykes told the BBC that there may be a real biological animal behind the yeti myth.

I think the interesting thing here isn't that he just disproved the Yeti, but that he found evidence that there really was an animal behind the sighting. If that's the case, then could Bigfoot be real-ish?

I've got to be honest with you, I've had a lifelong fascination with the paranormal, UFOs, and cryptozoology. The thing is, I don't actually believe any of it. I think it's all nonsense. But I want to believe. So, I continue to watch stupid documentaries about them. And if you tell me you believe in them my normal reply is OMFG, you are such a moron!

And yet, with all my mocking, there's ..... hope. I guess it's a nerd thing. It's in our DNA.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:40 AM | Comments |

September 26, 2013

I Knew It: Lightsabers Are Real!

The line forms behind me:

The team of physicists say they have discovered a new kind of matter, using things called “Photonic Molecules.”

They say unlike typical lasers which pass right through each other, these bind together so you can whack them against each other.

They say it all ends up looking like the iconic Jedi weapon.

Something in my pants just moved.

Thanks to Harry

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 02:39 PM | Comments |

September 24, 2013

Rusty Longs to Own Life Size Imperial Scout Walker for sale on eBay

Imagine this as your ride. You're stuck in traffic. The car in front of you is tiny and claims to be "Smart" for some reason.

Then ... you stomp on it!

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Ok, so it's not a working model but I'd take this over a garden gnome any day.

Thanks to Short Timer

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:27 AM | Comments |

August 21, 2013

Star Wars + Beer + Australia = Better Than Episode I

I know, when you set a bar as low as Episode I what isn't better? But come on, this is pretty good.

Star Wars Downunder Trailer from Michael Cox on Vimeo.

Thanks to Short Timer.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 09:54 AM | Comments |

August 13, 2013

And Now the Princess Leia Hijab

Hey, Your Worship, I'm only trying to help.


Would you please stop calling me that?

By Howie at 02:13 PM | Comments |

July 19, 2013

I felt a great disturbance in the force .....

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h/t: Darth Vader via Darth Odie

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 10:57 AM | Comments |

July 18, 2013

Party on Luke!

Party on Leia!


My apologies Buzzfeed, our server won't let me upload that, too large.

By Howie at 07:19 AM | Comments |

May 29, 2013

Count Dooku's New Strategy to Bring Younglings to the Dark Side: Heavy Metal

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And if you need any more evidence that this is the work of the Sith, contemplate who it is that Count Dooku is teaming up with to make the album: Judas Priest:

The record, which features track names such as “Massacre of the Saxons”, “The Devil’s Advocate” and “The Ultimate Sacrifice”, is likely to appeal to fans of Sir Lee’s fantasy films. Lee appears on the cover brandishing a sword and surrounded by fire....

“I’m not screaming or anything like that, but it is definitely heavy metal,” Sir [Christopher] Lee said....

The album was arranged by Richie Faulkner, the lead guitarist for heavy metal band Judas Priest.

Thanks to Armaros

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:24 AM | Comments |

May 15, 2013

Where's Rusty? Star Wars Fight Club Edition

The first rule of Star Wars fight club? We don't talk about Dr Who.

Police were called to a British sci-fi convention following reports that rival fan-clubs had become involved in a violent dispute.

A group of visiting Doctor Who fans were reportedly arguing with a local Star Wars enthusiasts’ club at the Norwich Star Wars Club event, held in the University of East Anglia, police said. But after talking to witnesses and reviewing CCTV police officers said no actual assault took place.

By Howie at 01:52 PM | Comments |

May 04, 2013

May the 4th Be With You!

Here's a photo from our annual Star Wars Day company picnic.


By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 10:38 AM | Comments |

April 26, 2013

Friday Afternoon Star Wars Filibuster

As both a Parks and Recreation fan and the owner of a kinda-sorta Star Wars themed blog, I'm a bit peeved that no one told me about this until I saw Maetenloch's post this morning.

It's pretty funny. If you're a Star Wars geek.

Apparently the whole thing was improved. Yes, Patton Oswalt is one of us. Or, more correctly: you are in Patton Oswalt's tribe.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:09 AM | Comments |

April 17, 2013

Proof Darth Vader Behind French Victory at Hastings 1066

This explains so much ...

Vader Hastings.jpg

Thanks to Boquisucio

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 10:34 AM | Comments |

March 21, 2013

Jedi Weddings Unfair!

Because what about Sith Marriages?

Proposed changes to marriage would open the way for Star Wars Jedi to perform ceremonies, a church has said.

The Free Church of Scotland said the Marriage and Civil Partnership (Scotland) Bill will allow groups promoting a belief to marry couples.

The government said the change was relevant to bodies such as humanists, who are classed as religious rather than non-religious at the moment.

The Sith's is a philosophy of Peace through Strength and also all the Jedi must be destroyed. A religion of Peace if you will.

By Howie at 09:57 AM | Comments |

March 18, 2013

The Death Star Was an Inside Job!

Down with Trade Federation! Down with the Banker's Clan!

Sorry I got carried away there for a minute...

If the Jedi are not all destroyed it will be civil war without end. See, I'm feeling better now.

Update: A contrarian's rebuttal. Showing once again that the Sith's policy for the Galactic Empire is only to bring peace and justice to the galaxy. Without, you know, balancing the entire Galactic budget on the backs of hard working middle class Jawas.

By Howie at 10:07 AM | Comments |

March 15, 2013

New Improved Jawa Banner Falls Victim to 24h News Cycle

Alas, our new and improved Jawa banner riffing on "the smartest guy in the room" is no more. Remember the good old days when you could keep a snarky joke like that going for months? I miss those days.

PS-if you still see the Star Trek themed banner it's because your computer saves images like that locally in order to load webpages faster. Just hit the reload button and your machine should grab the new image and replace the old one.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:23 AM | Comments |

March 06, 2013

Sandcrawler Zionist Kihnspiracy Update

Today Nasa revealed a complete global map of Mercury taken by the Messenger spacecraft.

See original image here.

However the map is not complete. The center of one of what I believe is the crater Feundlich Sharnov has been censored.

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The area has been previously imaged, but not in enough detail to reveal the Super Sekrit Zionist Base which is obscured in the new high detail images.

The base is where The Zionists and Space Aliens hold summit meetings in order to exchange technology and work on plots to rule the world and eventually the entire galaxy.

By Howie at 01:25 PM | Comments |

March 01, 2013

Obama Inspires New Jawa Report Design

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Click for Larger Image


Background here if you're not in the loop yet.

I honestly believe that this is the first time any one at MSNBC has ever been disillusioned with Obama. I'm guessing Chuck Todd is in the middle of an existential crisis.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 02:14 PM | Comments |

Obama: "Damn it, Jim! I'm A President, Not A Jedi Dictator!"

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President Obama complains he can't do a "Jedi Mind Meld" on Republicans:

During President Barack Obama's surprise sequester press conference, CNN reporter Jessica Yellin asked him why he couldn't do anything to stop the automatic spending cuts that start to take effect today.

Obama responded by answering with what was supposed to be a Star Wars reference — but he ended up confusing Star Wars and Star Trek.

"I can’t do some kind of Jedi Mind Meld on congressional Republicans," Obama said.

President Obama wished he could alternatively do a Jedi Death Grip on Conservatives, but that power was also not his to use. He concluded the press conference saying, "May the force be with you so you can live long and prosper."

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By DMartyr at 12:28 PM | Comments |

February 04, 2013

I Find Your Lack of Faith in the Force Meowing

Kittehs: the Sith of the animal kingdom.

Thanks to Jim.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 10:48 AM | Comments |