December 18, 2014

NORKs To Go Back on State Sponsors of Terrorism List?

Yeah I think the Sony thing pretty much proves that removing the NORKS from the terrorist list was a bad move.

The U.S. is ready to blame North Korea for the crippling hack attack at Sony Pictures, as the studio said Wednesday it would cancel next week's planned release of its controversial comedy "The Interview."
U.S. investigators say an announcement pinning the blame on hackers working for the Pyongyang regime could come as soon as Thursday.

By Howie at 09:37 AM | Comments |

September 26, 2014

Good News Kim Jong-un Suffering Horribly From Gout

I bet that is a turn off for Mrs Jong-un.

North Korea's Kim Jong-un is suffering from "discomfort", state media has said in the first official acknowledgement of ill health after a prolonged period out of the public eye.

"The wealth and prosperity of our socialism is thanks to the painstaking efforts of our marshal, who keeps lighting the path for the people, like the flicker of a flame, despite suffering discomfort," said a narrator during a documentary aired on state television on Thursday.

mrsjoun.jpg

North Korea's leader had been seen walking with a limp since an event with key officials in July and in the pre-recorded documentary broadcast by state media, he appeared to have difficulty walking.

Based on his gait, it appears he has gout

So that means that Supreme Lleader and Demigod Kim Jong-un has inferior DNA?

Unpossible!

And also to Mrs Jong-un, Hey Baby, How you doing?

By Howie at 07:57 AM | Comments |

July 23, 2014

They Call This Fat Guy Number 3

Of course Kim Jong-un will consider this post an act of war, but who really gives a f*ck what Kim Jong-un thinks?

By Howie at 09:34 AM | Comments |

March 10, 2014

Congratulations to Dear Leader on Election, Victory Over Reactionary Counter-Revolutionary Forces

We offer warm congratulations to the Dear Leader on his electoral victory:

With no one else on the ballot, state media reported Monday that supreme leader Kim Jong Un was not only elected to the highest legislative body in North Korea, he won with the unanimous approval of his district, which had 100% turnout.
In related news, I was listening to the Dianne Rhem show this morning where a panel of experts was talking about Obama's handling of the Crimean crisis. Two of the three panelist said he was doing a B-/C+ job, while the guy from Harvard passed on the opportunity to assign a grade.

How does this relate to North Korea? Even on our own national socialist public airwaves dissent and criticism is allowed. And by dissent and criticism we mean giving Obama something less than an A+++.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 10:58 AM | Comments |

January 03, 2014

Kim Jong Un Feeds Homeless, Starving Dogs (Updated)

I bet you didn't know this guy had a sensitive side!

The execution of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's uncle was more brutal than initially reported, according to a Beijing-controlled newspaper, which said the country's second-most-powerful figure was thrown into a cage filled with starving dogs and eaten alive.

The Singaporean Straits Times cited a report from Wen Wei Po, a Beijing-control newspaper, that said Jang Song Thaek and five close associates were stripped and fed to 120 dogs that had not eaten for three days. The entire process, witnessed by 300 senior officials, lasted for about an hour, the report said.

UPDATE: It's probably - probably - not true.

By DMartyr at 11:51 AM | Comments |

August 29, 2013

It's Good to be the North Korean Dictator

You get to have your ex-girlfriends shot.

Kim Jong Un: Just livin' the dream.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 09:15 AM | Comments |

July 16, 2013

Panama stops N.Korean ship over missile material

Look what we found...

PANAMA CITY (AFP) – Panama stopped a North Korean vessel that President Ricardo Martinelli said had sailed from Cuba and tried to illegally sneak suspected sophisticated missile material through the Panama Canal.

"The world needs to sit up and take note: you cannot go around shipping undeclared weapons of war through the Panama Canal," Martinelli said, noting that the ship had been inspected to rule out drugs and was found to have other cargo of greater concern.

"We had suspected this ship, which was coming from Cuba and headed to North Korea, might have drugs aboard so it was brought into port for search and inspection," on the Atlantic coast of the country, the president said on Radio Panama on Monday.

"When we started to unload the shipment of sugar we located containers that we believe to be sophisticated missile equipment, and that is not allowed," Martinelli stressed, describing a dramatic scene in which he said the ship's captain tried to kill himself.

"The captain has tried to commit suicide, and the crew also rioted," when police moved in, Martinelli said. "So we are holding this vessel for further investigation."

Who was trying to smuggle missile material INTO North Korea.

By Matt Damon at 05:15 AM | Comments |

May 07, 2013

Occupy Mic Check!: Communism Is Good And I Have A Flag To Prove It!

Mic check, mic check, mic check Olympus has fallen

Full story about these commies here

By Stable Hand at 11:20 PM | Comments |

April 14, 2013

Your "Tomorrow Is Monday So Let's Have A Laugh Anyway" Post

626.jpg

And for those who asked about Sweet Jane, she's alive and doing fine. And she appreciates the concern.

By Vinnie at 06:14 PM | Comments |

April 12, 2013

North Korea's Pyongyang Pete Condemns U.S. Propaganda

Despite news reports to the contrary, North Korea just wants peace:

By DMartyr at 10:11 AM | Comments |

April 02, 2013

Got Magnet?

got magnet.jpg

h/t @LauraWalker

By Stable Hand at 10:13 PM | Comments |

March 20, 2013

Apparently the North Koreans do Have a Cyber to Attack With?

Reuters:

South Korean authorities were investigating a hacking attack that brought down the servers of three broadcasters and two major banks on Wednesday, and the army raised its alert level due to concerns of North Korean involvement.

Servers at television networks YTN, MBC and KBS were affected as well as Shinhan Bank and NongHyup Bank, two major banks, the police and government officials said. At least some of the computers affected by the attacks had some files deleted, according to the authorities.

By Howie at 07:56 AM | Comments |

March 19, 2013

Meanwhile in North Korea

Drudge links this story from the Sun North Korea video shows US Capitol Building destroyed by missile strike

The controversial video - published on government website Uriminzokkiri - also shows a target graphic appearing on the White House.

Subtitles on the provocative video say: "The White House is caught by our sighting device.

"The inner citadel is within our striking range of an atomic bomb."

I would not mention it except that the DPKR's official Youtube Channel has released several videos as well.

These examples seem to indicate that North Korea is telling its people it is already at war with the United States.


Lets Defend General Kim Jong Un With Our Lives!


Let's Follow in His (Kim Jong-un's) Footsteps (KCTV Version)

I've included these examples from other users who've translated parts to English but the official channel also carries a lot of war propaganda, I'm sure there are some TOS violations in there for those interested.

The DPRK has already had one video removed for TOS violations. It would really be a shame if they ran into more troubles.

By Howie at 10:54 AM | Comments |

March 16, 2013

Wait, North Korea Has "Cyber" to be "Attacked"???

This would be the same country that appears to be a dark spot if viewed from outer space at night. They don't have power for their citizens to turn on lights, but they do have power to ensure the latest member of the Kim family (and sycophants) can cruise teh intertubez for teh b8r3ly l3gal p0rn.

Alternate subttitle: Pornographic viewing habits of Party leadership hardest hit:

North Korea has fallen victim to a massive cyber attack since Wednesday morning, a senior South Korean government official said. He added Seoul is trying to find out who is behind it.

"Internet resources of the country have come under a powerful hacker attack from abroad," Russia's ITAR-TASS news agency, which has a branch in Pyongyang, reported on Wednesday night. The country's websites apparently all went offline until late Thursday afternoon.

They included propaganda outlets like the Rodong Sinmun, the KCNA news agency and Naenara, which are blocked in South Korea.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 03:13 PM | Comments |

March 07, 2013

North Korea Threatens Pre-Emptive Nuclear Attack Against The U.S.

But don't panic. If a North Korean nuclear missile can reach the U.S. at all, it will only hit California.

By DMartyr at 12:05 PM | Comments |

March 06, 2013

North Korean Approved Hairstyles

(Pyongyang, North Korea) The government in North Korea has approved a range of acceptable hairstyles for its citizens, claiming they are "most comfortable" and "capable of warding off the corrupting effects of capitalism."

Spiky hair is forbidden, as are quiffs — the nation has learned the baleful lesson from the decadent South that outrageous hairstyles may lead to the formation of effete boy bands or to pervasive mental health problems whereby people hallucinate riding invisible horses.[…]

Approved styles for single women are simple but married women are permitted to indulge in a few extra stylistic flourishes. This also has the useful effect of establishing whether a woman is married or not at a glance.[…]

The hair of the country's young men should be less than 5 cm long and they should have a haircut once every 15 days as longer hair apparently takes away nutrition from their brains. Older men, whose brains are presumably in decline anyway, are allowed to rock out with hair as long as 7 cm.

Interestingly, Dear Leader Kim Jong-Un sports an unapproved hairstyle but nobody has the hair to call him on the violation.

Tip: Marmot's Hole

By Mr. E. Blogger at 02:36 PM | Comments |

February 11, 2013

North Korea 'Nuke Test' Or Earthquake?

Yonhap News is reporting a magnitude 5.1 'artificial' earthquake in DPRK. USGS detected M4.9 seismic activity ENE of Sungibaegan, North Korea

h/t Steve Herman of @W7VOA

KMA: M5.0 tremor at 11:57:50 a.m. had epicenter located in country where #DPRK's Punggye-ri nuclear test complex is located. #nuclear

#ROK media: ROK-US Combined Forces raise alert status to WATCHCON. #Korea

South Korea's Yonhap news agency saying #DPRK notified #US and #China of test yesterday, meanwhile ROK military placed on alert

#Japan gov't confirms seismic activity detected in #DPRK just before noon and attempting to verify it caused by a nuclear device

NHK: #Japan PM Abe to convene at his office emergency meeting at 12:45 JST re possible #DPRK nuclear test

#ROK media quoting gov't officials in Seoul saying "high possibility" #DPRK conducted #nuclear test just before noon

How rude of Kim Jong Unhung to do this the night before Bronco Bama's SOTU address. Now the speech writers gotta think up something or something about sanctions and stuff.

By Stable Hand at 10:34 PM | Comments |

February 05, 2013

Dear DPRK

Suck it.

dprksuckit.JPG

Capitalism wins again!

Update: Clearing up the vagueness.

With another North Korean nuclear test looming, the country’s official website, Uriminzokkiri, has posted an unusual video on its YouTube channel showing what appears to be a U.S. city in flames after some kind of attack from space.

The video was soon pulled from the popular video sharing site, apparently for violating copyright laws, according to a message posted in place of the video. Some footage in the video appears to come from the video game Modern Warfare 3 by gamemaker Activision Games, Inc.

By Howie at 04:20 PM | Comments |

December 11, 2012

N Korea Launched a 'Long Range Missile'..

Kim Jong-un flexing his fat cells or something.

Via Prime Minister's Office of Japan Facebook page

(Provisional translation)

December 12, 2012 (from 10:20 am)

The First Press Conference by the Chief Cabinet Secretary

(Immediately After the Launch)

1 At approximately 09:49 today, it appears that North Korea launched a missile, which it calls a “satellite”, as North Korea announced on the 1st of this month.

2 It is estimated that the missile, which North Korea calls a “satellite”, passed over Okinawa of Japan at approximately 10:01. Information we obtained has been immediately disseminated to our people, local public authorities and media organizations through Em-Net and J-Alert systems and other means. It is also estimated that the first rocket fell to approximately 200 kilometers west of the Korean Peninsula in the Yellow Sea, the second one to approximately 300 kilometers south-west in the East China sea and the third one to approximately 300 kilometers east of the Philippines in the Pacific Ocean.

3 Although the Government is currently confirming whether there has been any fallen object, at this stage, no such object has been identified within our territory. Therefore, we would like to ask our people to continue on with their normal lives and activities as usual.[More...]

That.is.all.

By Stable Hand at 09:19 PM | Comments |

December 03, 2012

Shin Dong-hyuk's Survivor Story


By Howie at 10:45 AM | Comments |

October 10, 2012

Sandcrawler PSA: In Theory The Norks Can Nuke US

But it isn't very likely and I don't expect it.

North Korea has rockets that can hit the U.S. mainland, it said on Tuesday, two days after South Korea struck a deal with the United States to extend the range of its ballistic missiles.
Mainly because our ability to nuke the NORKS is neither theoretical nor under development and about 5113 other reasons.

By Howie at 07:42 AM | Comments |

July 26, 2012

North Korean athletes in seclusion after flag flap

ooops sk flag.jpg

Ooopsy

GLASGOW, Scotland – The flag flap that overshadowed the start of women's soccer at the London Olympics might be consigned to a list of human errors by organizers, but it could hardly have been more insulting to North Koreans.

The team from the reclusive communist country was back in seclusion at a hotel in Glasgow on Thursday after accepting profuse apologies from Olympic organizers, who mistakenly displayed the South Korean flag when introducing North Korean players before a game Wednesday night.

The North Koreans refused to take the field and considered withdrawing from the tournament in protest, before finally agreeing to play Colombia. The game started more than an hour late, and the North Koreans won 2-0.

"Winning the game can't compensate for the mistake," North Korea coach Sin Ui Gun said through an interpreter after the game, still angry about such a major gaffe on the first day of Olympic competition. "I just want to stress once again that our players' images and names can't be shown alongside the South Korea flag."[More...]

Related, kinda:

Fatwas have been issued on Kim Jong-un Marries Ri Sol-ju

By Stable Hand at 01:03 PM | Comments |

February 19, 2012

North Korea Stops Paying Bills of Kim Jong Nam

(Moscow, Russia) A Russian magazine reports that Kim Jong Nam, the eldest son of the late Kim Jong-il, has been kicked out of his fancy-schmancy hotel in the casino gambling mecca of Macao due to insufficient funds. Kim owes $15,000.

According to the local authorities, Kim’s living expenses are paid by an intelligence organization of China while his entertainment expenses had been paid with remittances from North Korea. Recently, however, he faced a shortage of funds for entertaining.

An official of the hotel said, “He (Kim) presented a gold card. But it was declined.”

As for his younger brother, Jong Un, who became the North Korean leader after the death of Jong Il in December, Kim Jong Nam recently said, “He (Jong Un) will not be able to maintain his leadership for long.”

Because of the remark, the editor in chief suspects that North Korea stopped remitting money to Kim Jong Nam, the weekly magazine said.

The statement that younger brother Kim Jong Un won't be around very long might be due to the fact he suffers from diabetes and high blood pressure. In any event, it appears Kim Jong Nam is predicting he'll soon take over as North Korean leader.

By Mr. E. Blogger at 08:26 PM | Comments |

December 19, 2011

So Ronery, I Can Join Animal House Fraternity?

Oh boy, this is gonna be great!

korean-leader-animal-house.jpg

Thanks to uptight who noticed the similarities.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 04:50 PM | Comments |

DPRK Mourns

The weirdest video I have ever seen in my whole born put together.

So the North Koreans are the world's biggest crybabies.... on cue even.

Who knew?

By Howie at 09:45 AM | Comments |

July 13, 2011

North Korea Now Has "Luxery" Restaurant

I'm not 100% sure what passes for "luxury" in the People's Republic of No Food. But I think they mean expensive & fancy type dogs. Like poodles and what not.*

*Apologies for the easy joke. Korean is actually some of my favorite food.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 01:31 PM | Comments |

July 12, 2011

Canada To Boycott UN Conference On Disarmament Over Appointment Of North Korea To Chair — U.S.? Nope

ZIP

OTTAWA — [Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird]... “Our government feels this undermines not only the Conference on Disarmament, but the UN itself. And Canada will not be party to that . . . Our government received a strong mandate to advance Canada’s values — freedom, democracy, human rights and the rule of law — on the world stage.”
What did the Obi One admin say?
— The Obama administration will not follow Canada’s lead and boycott a session of the U.N.-linked Conference on Disarmament to protest North Korea’s appointment to the body’s rotating presidency.

“We have chosen not to make a big deal out of this because it’s a relatively low-level, inconsequential event,” State Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland said Monday.

Figures

By Stable Hand at 03:31 PM | Comments |

June 28, 2011

Congrats To The USA Women's World Cup Team

Piss off North Korean dicktasters dictators. We Blixed your arses.

By Ronin at 01:32 PM | Comments |

January 06, 2011

Hate Crimes Against Jews Rise in NYC

The Jewish Chronicle:

Jews were the most frequently targeted minority group in hate crimes in New York State in 2009, according to a report issued by state officials.

Anti-Jewish hate crimes rose by 15 per cent over the previous year and represented more than a third of hate crimes committed in 2009 in the state, the report issued last week by the Criminal Justices Services Division revealed.
The report came as a synagogue on the Upper West Side of Manhattan said it had received a letter on December 30 threatening to blow up the shul on New Year's Eve.

Ohab Zedek, an Orthodox congregation, was one of a dozen synagogues to receive the bomb-threat letters, Rabbi Allen Schwartz told the New York Post. "We have reasons to believe someone wants to spread fear," Mr Schwartz said.
Police evacuated the synagogue - a 1920s building known for its elaborate Moorish architecture - but found no device. They were unable to confirm the threats to other synagogues.

The state report found an across-the-board increase of about 14 per cent in hate crimes reported to the police between 2008 and 2009.

Of course this could not have been if not for the hard work of Yousef "I hope I didn't incite anyone to violence" al-Khattab and Younis Abdullah Muhammad over at Revolution Muslim.

revmojewthreatsmall.JPG

That's quite a stack of Bad Karma the brothers over at Revmo have. Ya'll reckon its about to fall on them?

By Howie at 11:15 AM | Comments |

November 26, 2010

Caroline Glick: "Rocking Obama's World"

Crises are exploding throughout the world. And the leader of the free world is making things worse.

On the Korean peninsula, North Korea just upended eight years of State Department obfuscation by showing a team of US nuclear scientists its collection of thousands of state-of-the-art centrifuges installed in its Yongbyon nuclear reactor.

And just to top off the show, as Stephen Bosworth, US President Barack Obama's point man on North Korea, was busily arguing that this revelation is not a crisis, the North fired an unprovoked artillery barrage at South Korea, demonstrating that actually, it is a crisis.

But the Obama administration remains unmoved. On Tuesday Defense Secretary Robert Gates thanked his South Korean counterpart, Kim Tae-young, for showing "restraint."

On Thursday, Kim resigned in disgrace for that restraint.

Click image for rest:

north korean soldier-thumb.jpg

h/t a new twitter person following me.

By Stable Hand at 12:18 PM | Comments |

November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving Pyongyang Travel Forecast

Very hot with extended very hot through Sunday.

By Howie at 10:09 AM | Comments |

November 23, 2010

Breaking: Norks Shell South Korea, Killing One

1norkshelling.jpg

From Fox News:

BREAKING NEWS -- North Korea shot dozens of rounds of artillery onto a populated South Korean island near their disputed western border Tuesday, prompting South Korea to return fire and scramble fighter jets, military officials said. At least one South Korean marine reportedly was killed.
Korean "police action" redux?

America needs you, Harry Truman.

By Bluto03:30 AM | Comments |

November 21, 2010

Headline: North Korea Nuke Plant Shocks World

Nucking Futz if the powers that be didn't know this was happening.

Next: 'Iran Nuke Plant Shocks World'

nk_nukes.jpg

Image credit FloppingAces

AOLNews

An American scientist just back from a trip to North Korea says he visited a sophisticated new uranium-processing plant there, sparking worldwide alarm that Pyongyang is developing nuclear weapons at a far faster pace than previously thought.

President Barack Obama has hastily dispatched his North Korea envoy, Stephen Bosworth, to the region today. He's schedule to arrive in Seoul tonight, ahead of meetings in South Korea, Japan and China this coming week, The Wall Street Journal reported.

Bosworth's last-minute rush to East Asia comes after a report Saturday in The New York Times quoting Siegfried Hecker, a Stanford professor and former director of the Los Alamos National Laboratory, as describing a trip he took to North Korea nine days ago. Among the sites his North Korean minders allowed him to visit was a laboratory previously unknown to the West, where local scientists said they were processing uranium to generate electricity -- but which could also be used to produce material for nuclear weapons.

Gawd...

By Stable Hand at 12:42 PM | Comments |

August 19, 2010

Still Ronery: Country Facing Mass Starvation now on Twitter

They can't feed there own people nor do they have power in most of the country most of the time, but they are on Twitter.

In the era of social networking, North Korea still is pretty ronery. You'd think that a nation of 22 million might be able to get more followers then, say, Donnie Wahlberg.

Thanks to Bartender.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 10:02 AM | Comments |

July 12, 2010

North Korean Defections Up Among Soldiers

Telegraph:

On one stretch of the border, Chinese troops apprehended five North Korean soldiers in May alone.

The defectors have claimed that senior members of the party and the armed forces were stockpiling provisions, another indication that the regime is steeling itself for a military confrontation.

The defectors apprehended by the Chinese were reportedly returned to North Korea, where they face execution.

By Ronin at 12:46 PM | Comments |

June 28, 2010

Ahmadinejad: No Nuke Talks Until Late August

AhmadinejadandKim.jpg

To punish the West

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told reporters Monday in Tehran that the decision is aimed at "punishing them (the West) to teach them the custom of talking to our nation."
Meanwhile, N.Korea is upset with the U.S. & South Korea
SEOUL, South Korea -- North Korea said Monday it must bolster its nuclear capability in a "newly developed way" to cope with what it sees as hostile U.S. policy and military threats amid tensions over the deadly sinking of a South Korean warship.

Separately, the North's military accused the U.S. and South Korea of bringing heavy weapons to the Korean border village of Panmunjom and vowed to take "strong military countermeasures" if they aren't withdrawn.

Tough sanctions are doing diddly squat.

By Stable Hand at 09:18 AM | Comments |

June 24, 2010

North Korea Moves To Restore International Status and Significance

By demanding 65 Triiiiiiiiiillion dollars/pinky in mouth.

Bwahahahaha.

On the eve of 60th anniversary of the start of the Korean War, Kim Jung Chill gets a shade more crazy.

Cash-strapped North Korea has demanded the United States pay almost $US65 trillion ($75 trillion) in compensation for six decades of hostility.

The official North Korean news agency, KCNA, says the cost of the damage done by the US since the peninsula was divided in 1945 is estimated at $US64.96 trillion.

The agency said North Koreans have "the justifiable right" to receive the compensation for their blood.

When reached for comment, Kim Jung Il had this to say:

Why is evawyrone so f*ckin' stoopid?
By Ronin at 08:09 AM | Comments |

June 08, 2010

North Korea Asks, "How Can We Screw Up More?"

Answer: Shoot Chinese citizens.

China says a North Korean border guard shot and killed three people near the countries' border last week.

Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang told a regular news conference in Beijing that the four residents of Dandong, in Liaoning province, had been shot "on suspicion of crossing the border for trade activities".

"China attaches great importance to that and has immediately raised a solemn representation with the DPRK,"...

Kim Jong-il was later reported to have said "Goddamnit, how many times do I have to tehr you? You don't shoot the Chinese untihr you see the signahr! I have worked ten years on this pran! It is a very precise, and a compricated pran! Now take the weapons where I tord you and wait for the *goddamn* signahr this time! Goodbye! "

By Ronin at 07:54 AM | Comments |