November 15, 2016
Confirmed: Han Solo Poked The Princess
While Fisher has hinted in the past that the pair may have fooled around, she gets down and dirty in the book, revealing that he allegedly got her drunk and seduced her during filming, part of which took place in Tunisia.The only problem is that the Princess doesn't remember all that much about it.
The pair wound up in bed after Ford, who is now 74, offered to drive a “wine sodden” Fisher home, she says.
In one entry, she says she tried “relentlessly” to make Ford love her and came up with fantasies of Ford proposing to her with a “gold band with diamonds (inscribed) ‘Carrison.'”Damn, you mean I had a chance?
In her book, Fisher notes that she’s fuzzy on the details of her and Ford’s three-month relationship because of ”the brutal strength of Harrison’s preferred strain of pot.”
April 19, 2016
Where's Rusty? Transgender Edition
He told me he was doing under cover work but I don't see any difference?
April 11, 2016
Where's Rusty? Cyclical Edition
According to the BBC, FShackelford claims that he has been getting his period “without bleeding” for three years now. “He says he's so close to his best friend and flatmate Amber-May Ellis that he gets cramps when she comes on each month.” This pathetic excuse of a man says he has even taken sick days because of his “period.” That he doesn’t have.Don't worry he'll be back in three to five days.
Hat Tip: Blazing Cat Fur.
November 10, 2015
She's off the market Howie. Get over it!
September 29, 2015
Cecile Richards Can Already Afford Lamborghini
She makes almost 600K per year. There's good money in dead babies.
Hat Tip: El Chapo.
October 02, 2014
Another Breakthrough in Islamic Science!
Scantily clad women cause earthquakes.
Word, indeed they do, indeed they do.
September 17, 2014
Sandcrawler PSA: Don't Watch The Notebook
US brother and sister charged with 'having sex three times in trailer in church parking lot' after they watched The NotebookHaram!
December 30, 2013
On Thursday evening at the New Silver Heights Bingo Hall....#winning!
their dreams were put on hold by a man racing through hall with his pants down screaming "Bingo."
October 23, 2013
At the drive in. In Switzerland:
Switzerland's first sex drive-in, which opened two months ago in a bid to take prostitution off Zurich's streets, has been a success, the city said Tuesday following an initial evaluation.And if he had more money he'd never come back.
"After two months I can say that this guarded prostitution site is working," Michael Herzig, director of social services for sex workers in the city, told reporters
September 30, 2013
Saudi Cleric's Mind Affected by Sitting on His Testes Which He Uses to Think
A conservative Saudi Arabian cleric has said women who drive risk damaging their ovaries and bearing children with clinical problems, countering activists who are trying to end the Islamic kingdom's male-only driving rules.Also apparently the Sheikh Saleh bin Saad al-Lohaidan doesn't know that Single Mom's 1987 Dodge Caravan seats up to nine screaming snot noses for a reason.
A campaign calling for women to defy the ban in a protest drive on October 26 has spread rapidly online over the past week and gained support from some prominent women activists. On Sunday, the campaign's website was blocked inside the kingdom.
In an interview published on Friday on the website sabq.org, Sheikh Saleh bin Saad al-Lohaidan said women aiming to overturn the ban on driving should put "reason ahead of their hearts, emotions and passions".
The poor girl may have problems, but her ovaries are not one of them.
April 04, 2013
Boobies Against Islamists
BERLIN: Bare-breasted activists staged rallies in front of mosques and Tunisian embassies across Europe Thursday against what they called an Islamist crackdown on Arab women's rights.Probably NSFW in boobie fearing America.
A Femen activist burns a Salafist flag in front of the Great Mosque of Paris, on April 3, 2013.
"And we'll fight against them. And our boobs will be stronger than their stones."
The rallies targeted in particular the case of a Tunisian activist calling herself Amina Tyler who sparked a scandal last month when she posted pictures of herself online with the words "My body belongs to me" and "Fuck your morals" emblazoned across her naked breasts.
Why u insult holly banner of Islam?
More Fatwa seeking boobies below the fold.
March 09, 2013
KY Recalls 3 of It's "Personal Lubricants" ....
Actually, I was going to say "Howie hardest hit." But that's just mean.
March 04, 2013
USC Students: What is this "Vagina" You Speak of?
I could see this happening on that campus over in Westwood, but at USC? The campus which inspired such classics as Van Wilder and who's film school students routinely moonlight producing videos "in the valley" as a way to make ends meet?
Times certainly have changed at my alma mater:
USC is slated to kick off its Sex Week festivities today with a “Vagina Cupcakes” workshop in the library.Thanks to @IrishSpy
“The objective of the event is to encourage young women and men to better understand the human anatomy...
Apparently, students are supposed to make cupcake decorations that resemble female genitals.
February 07, 2013
German Job Centers Now Referring Hot Young Girls for Brothel Work
A 19-year-old German woman was left appalled after receiving a letter offering work in a brothel by her local job centre. Good looks, however, were a prerequisite for the position.Read the rest and take special note that the government employee made sure to evaluate whether the potential brothel worker was "suitable" for the job by calling them up on the phone.
The unnamed teen had been looking for work since last November and was thrilled when the job centre finally sent her an offer last week. But serving drinks at a nude bar at one of Bavarian city Augsburg's biggest brothels, the Colosseum, was not exactly what she had in mind.
Calling them up. Right. I'm sure that's all they did. Call them.
December 26, 2012
Ministry of Al Qaeda Propaganda: Help Wanted
The Arab spring (aka, recruiting video) through the eyes of al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula's (AQAP) media arm: "Al-Malahem Media :: presents :: The Special Video Release :: Jihaad of an Ummah (Arabic with English subtitles)"
() جــهاد أمـــــة () by taimour_abdulwahab1
Note how they use the Mo video as reason for everything jihad, such as the Benghazi attack. We can thank bronco bama and his administration for that flustercluck, pffft.
h/t for video: al-Qaeda supporter, former troll and Jawaa Bitch: Censored31.
November 30, 2012
Rusty Leaving Academia for Dream Job as Pre-Fight Sex Machine
I think I just found my calling in life: ladies testosterone booster:
Ronda Rousey [shown above], the first woman signed to the UFC, says sex — and plenty of it — are on her things to do list before she fights.Rusty: I'm like steroids, but only for hot would-be female fighters.
"For girls, it raises your testosterone so I try to have as much sex as possible before I fight actually," Rousey said on the "Jim Rome on Showtime" show Wednesday night.
July 21, 2012
Fred Willard Gets Off
A few days ago, actor Fred Willard was arrested for "lewdness" in an adult theater. Does anyone else see the hypocrisy of charging someone with "lewdness" in a theater showing porn?
Well, the guy is getting off. Legally, I mean. Good, I say. Leave the guy alone.
May 14, 2012
Meet Obama's New Sekrit Service Detail
During a campaign stop in Reno, Nevada, President Obama announced that from now on, the Secret Service would only hire sexless, elderly couples to protect the President. The move comes in response a recent scandal involving young, stud-muffinly, male Secret Service agents paying women for sex during a Presidential visit to Colombia.Well I guess that works as well as my Eunuch idea.
The latest hires, Fred and Ethel Mertz of Reno, Nevada, have been married for 45 years, and last engaged in an act of physical intimacy in 1990.
April 25, 2012
American Gynecologist Locates The Mythical G-Spot
From Global Edmonton:
In the latest and controversial study highlighting the continuing scientific fascination with the maybe-not-so mythical G-spot, a U.S. doctor says he has found physical evidence that the elusive erogenous zone is real.
I don't know why this is news now. The Jawa Report discovered it months ago.
April 14, 2012
Because The Jawa Report Has Higher Standards
No other blog will share the key to true happiness like we will.
March 06, 2012
Where is Dr Rusty Shackleford? Slutty Co-Ed Edition XXV
Blankmeyer claims in her lawsuit that her roommate, Laura, would have sex with her boyfriend while she was in the room and sleeping.
The roommate was having online and actual sex right in front of her,” Blankmeyer’s complaint states. She also claims that Laura would engage in “sexually inappropriate video chatting when Lindsay was in the room.”
Because Blankmeyer alleges her mental health deteriorated while she was in that situation and the school did nothing to help her resolve it, she is suing the college for $150,000.
February 21, 2012
Former IMF Head Questioned Over Hooker Orgy
Why? Because I wanted to write IMF, Hooker, and Orgy all in the same sentence.
Also, how do I get a job at the IMF?
February 09, 2012
Abstinence Is Free
Barbara Boxer is defending Obamacare's birth control mandate. She claims it costs an average person $600 a year for contraceptives.
I did a little online shopping (I don't usually buy condoms in bulk) and found 1000 condoms for as little as $112.22! You might be able to get an even better deal from a condom warehouse like CondomDepot or DiscountCondomKing, which offers free, discreet shipping.
Do the math. 1000 condoms divided by 365 days - that's 2.7 condoms per day. (That's also under 31¢ per day - cheaper than a cup of coffee!)
Seriously, who needs more than that? Birth control, at a fraction of the cost.
Update: Watcher in comments mentions birth control pills. Walmart's $4 Prescription Program offers generic birth control pills. That's just $48 per year. But that might cost you a pizza night.
October 18, 2011
Your iThoughts Betray You
....Divorcing wife. Thanks iPhone 4s and Find My Friends.Well that chick deserves it, you are always supposed to use a female relative as an excuse. But apparently the chick does have a sense of humor, she said something to her hubby about being in the meat district?
"I got my wife a new 4s and loaded up find my friends without her knowing. She told me she was at her friends house in the east village. I've had suspicions about her meeting this guy who live uptown. Lo and behold, Find my Friends has her right there.
"I just texted her asking where she was and the dumb b---- said she was on 10th Street!! Thank you Apple, thank you App Store, thank you all. These beautiful treasure trove of screen shots [sic] going to play well when I meet her ... at the lawyer's office in a few weeks.
Was hard to find stupid cab hate meat packing...Bwaaahahaaa! Meat packing....
August 09, 2011
Match Making Based On Religion
FYI, 60.2% is considered average in this study. Higher than that is a better match, and lower means less compatibility in a relationship.
Red indicates mutual dislike and green, mutual like. For brevity, and because that’s where we have by far the most data, all the tables on this page display data for straight men and women only.
The numbers on the perimeter of the table are the weighted average match percentage, a measure of group likability, for each column or row. Here’s what we see:
Jews and Agnostics get along better with people. Jewish men, in particular, have an above average match percentage with every religious group. They even match Muslim women better than Muslim men do, which I find both a hilarious irony and a somewhat sad reflection on the fact that Muslim males don’t seem to be doing very well. The data also cast an interesting light on the Jewish people’s history as a persecuted people: the underlying facts indicate an intrinsic mainstream likability, yet Jews have not been, and in some places still aren’t, “liked.” We’ll investigate a similar dichotomy in the second half of this post when we look at matching by race.
Muslims of both sexes and Hindu men get along worse. Now is a good time to stress that just because a group has low match percentages, even across the board, that does not mean they are bad people. It just means that they’re harder to please. The converse is also true: the above chart is not evidence that Jews or Agnostics are better than the rest of us. Just better liked. In any event, please keep in mind that each individual has designed his own matching criteria, so the poor-matching groups aren’t failing some outsider’s imposed system. Why, for example, Hindu men would match worst with Hindu women is a mystery.
Catholics are more universally liked than Protestants. While neither Christian group has many extremes of like/dislike, Protestant Christians only truly match well with other Christians. Catholics have above average match percentages with Hindus, Jews, and even Agnostics. Looks like Vatican II is working, guys!
July 21, 2011
Search For Missing Soldier Leads To Marijuana Operation
LAWTON, Okla.-- Authorities checking on the welfare of a Fort Sill soldier have found a large indoor marijuana growing operation in the man's apartment.I certainly hope he is found safe.
The soldier is identified only as a 27-year-old medic from Texas who worked at Reynolds Army Hospital. He has not been found.[More...]
He also has some splainin as to why he had approximately $70,000 worth of marijuana growing in his apartment.
March 24, 2011
I'm Pretty Sure That Bunga Bunga Means Good Gay
This story asks the question, What does Bunga Bunga mean.
The BBC said it was originally thought that Berlusconi picked up the phrase from his friend Moammar Gadhafi. The Libyan leader reportedly hosted parties involving “harems’’ of young women and called the bashes bunga bunga.Then they speculate about the meaning, which is easily located here at the Daily Mail.
March 15, 2011
Why We've Already Beat al Qaeda
We've already won. Al Qaeda, the Salafi jihadis, and the Islamists just don't know it yet. This isn't evidence, it's proof.
As seen at Big Peace.
QED people. QED.
March 08, 2011
Ted Kennedy: Traitor, Super Stud
Okay, the whole undermining America's foreign policy from within I get. That's just kind of par for the course. And I always figured Kennedy for the type that despite getting it often and for free from naive young ideologues, that he also paid for it from time to time a la Charlie Sheen.
But Ted Kennedy actually tried to rent out an entire whorehouse? Bwahahahahahaha!!
WHY AM I ONLY HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW? YOU'RE ALL FIRED!
February 23, 2011
Wisconsin Protesters FAIL
Totally clueless. Sheesh
Here's the video:
h/t The Blaze
February 01, 2011
Egypt: Giant Screen in Tahrir Streaming Al Jazeera Propaganda Live
Qatar's, as in state owned, Al Jazeera must be proud of freedom of the press.
December 17, 2010
Sandcrawler PSA: Let the Serious Shopping Begin!
OH and while I'm thinking of it, if ur on FB, share some Jesus Joy with the Akhi. Cause you know Jihadis love Jesus(pbuh) and Twisted Sister......I think so anyway...
December 02, 2010
Well, Y Not?
WikiLeaks: Kuwait wanted Gitmo detainees to be 'killed in combat'Rehabilitating terrorists isn't working out too well..so Oh wait, I srzly didn't mean that...honest
The Kuwaiti government privately urged the Americans to return Guantánamo detainees to Afghanistan so they could be “killed in combat”.
A leaked diplomatic cable discloses that the Kuwaiti interior minister resisted US pressure for the country to establish a “rehabilitation centre” for terror suspects, saying that they were “rotten” and “the best thing to do is get rid of them”.
The hardline view emerged in a private meeting between US and Kuwaiti officials in February 2009.
During the meeting, the US ambassador suggested that Kuwait follow Saudi Arabia’s example and attempt to rehabilitate terrorist suspects.
October 01, 2010
Boob Job in a Bottle
A new formula from Rodial Body Care Products promises to increase bust sizes by one-half cup.
The product is being dubbed "Boob Job in a Bottle."
According to the manufacturer:
Boob job works with your natural fat cells. As the fat cells move around the body after eating, boob job "blocks" the fat into the area where the product has been applied, so the bust and décolleté areas. You will see a gradual increase in cup size within 56 days as well as gaining an instant lifting and firming effect. Increase in cup size by 8.4%.In a nutshell, the Boob Job formula wrangles maverick fat cells into the boob corral resulting in added heft. After the formula is slowly, gently and lovingly rubbed into the boob, fat cells are attracted to the area.
Rodial boob job is based on a natural phytosterol, derived from an Asian root that has no hormonal activity which works on the skin and the layer of fat beneath and is 100% paraben free.
To be honest, the subject matter interests me but I'm skeptical of the claims. However, despite my skepticism and the strident criticism of some medical experts, celebrities (pics) are devoted to the Boob Job treatment.
For example, actress Scarlett Johansson (right) regularly undergoes the Boob Job treatment and has endorsed the product. As can be seen, results are remarkable. On a different note, I am curious about whether she applies the Boob Job gel herself or if she has the luckiest assistant in the whole world working for her.
Recommended application of Boob Job is twice daily for 56 days and twice a week afterward for maintenance. The price is £125 (approx. $200) for 100ml.
If any Jawa readers try this stuff, leave a comment and tell us your results.
September 22, 2010
tail Logo/Flag On the Ground Zero Mosque/Cordoba House/Park 51
Any one or all three!! Or, let the good Imam Rauf hold one.
All photoshop appreciated, thanks.
August 04, 2010
Confirmed: Hot Facebook Chick Friending You Is Probably a Hezbollah Spy
Finally the truth is out about all of Ronin's hot facebook friends. Aaron Mannes calls it the "Fakebook" phenomenon:
[Quoting an Israeli source]"The Hizbullah agent pretended she was an Israeli girl named “Reut Zukerman”, “Reut” succeeded during several weeks to engage more then 200 reserve and active personnel.So the next time some hot chick friends you, be suspicious. Be very suspicious.
The Hizbullah agent gained the trust of soldiers and officers that didn’t hesitate to confirm him as a “friend” once they saw he/she is friends with several of their friends from the same unit. Most of them assumed that “Reut” was just another person who served in that elite intelligence unit....."
The picture attached to “Reut Zukerman” was, of course, an appealing young woman (some tricks are timeless.)
July 07, 2010
Better to Become a Man
(Bhubaneshwar, India) A 36-year-old woman (name withheld) has undergone sexual reassignment surgery, allegedly to avoid a forced marriage.
Furthermore, it's suspected that the woman, an attorney, has a serious case of lovey-dovey touchy-feelies with another female who she reportedly feared would end the relationship and marry a man.
Understandably, the woman never informed her parents of the sex change plans since they wanted to marry her off.
From her hospital bed on Saturday, the female-to-male assignee exclaimed, "I feel free now. No one can force me to marry. It is better to become a man to get rid of sufferings met by women." (more…)
* * *
In a tangentially-related case, an Ohio woman, 31, pretends to be a boy, 14, to mix it up with a girl, 16. Sheesh!
July 05, 2010
Good Gay: Lindsay Lohan Dating Hot Israeli IDF Chick
Refresher: Good gay is two hot chicks. Bad gay is all the rest. Making good gay a rare commodity outside of Cinemax late at night.
But this? This might very well be good gay.
Add to that the fact that Eilat Anschel is Jewish, an Israeli, and an IDF vet and I'm thinking this post my cause a few Islamists to renounce Allah and get on Yawheh's bandwagon.
Either that, or their heads will explode.
TMZ is reporting that things are heating up between Lindsay Lohan and possible girlfriend Eilat Anschel...I hear she just got out. Of the IDF, not the closet.
The smoking hot Anschel was born and raised in Israeli, in fact the drop dead gorgeous girl actually did a stint in the Israeli army.
July 03, 2010
Out: I love you
In: My security clearance? Top Secret
Gentlemen, we have finally discovered a surefire method of scoring with chicks way out of our league:
“Namely, the use of good-looking women to lower a man’s defenses…The takeaway here is not to end the don't ask don't tell policy or recruiting beta males, it's that when that hot Russian chick asks Pfc. No-one-particular the golden question, he says Top Secret.
“These women will elicit from their males what kind of job they have, and determine if they have a security clearance, and then try to develop the relationship further,
Keep this one close, people. At some point too many fresh recruits with Top Secret clearances will raise some eyebrows.
And if you take this one away from me people .... :
"She was wild in bed - a 14 out of ten. She knows positions I had never imagined."... then there will be consequences.
Oh, yes, there will be consequences.