April 14, 2017

Sharia Doc Arrested in Detroit

A Muslima has been arrested in Detroit for removing two girls', age seven clitorises.

Detroit — A Detroit emergency room physician was charged Wednesday with mutilating the genitalia of two 7-year-old girls in what is believed to be the first case of its kind brought under federal law.

Jumana Nagarwala of Livonia was charged with female genital mutilation, a five-year felony, and transportation with intent to engage in criminal sexual activity, a 10-year felony, according to a complaint unsealed Thursday in U.S. District Court.

Jihad Watch fill us in on the Sharia behind the procedure.
“The procedure is believed to initiate girls into adulthood and ensure their marriageability, according to Human Rights Watch, a New York nonprofit human rights organization.”

Human Rights Watch, unsurprisingly, is wrong. It’s actually done to reduce female sexual pleasure so that women are more easily controllable. This repulsive practice is justified in Islamic texts.

“Circumcision is obligatory (for every male and female) (by cutting off the piece of skin on the glans of the penis of the male, but circumcision of the female is by cutting out the bazr ‘clitoris’ [this is called khufaadh ‘female circumcision’]).” — ‘Umdat al-Salik e4.3, translated by Mark Durie, The Third Choice, p. 64

Why is it obligatory? Because Muhammad is held to have said so: “Abu al- Malih ibn Usama’s father relates that the Prophet said: ‘Circumcision is a law for men and a preservation of honour for women.’” — Ahmad Ibn Hanbal 5:75

“Narrated Umm Atiyyah al-Ansariyyah: A woman used to perform circumcision in Medina. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to her: ‘Do not cut severely as that is better for a woman and more desirable for a husband.’” — Abu Dawud 41:5251

“Do not cut severely,” but not “Do not cut.”

I don't know what the big deal is, if you're going to have Islamic Culture you have to accept the quirks of Islamic Culture, like chopping up little girls, you know, areas. Muslims worry that if they don't cut their little girls they will become total whores, you know, like Kuffar girls.

I know some liberals will come along later and say its "culture" but not "Islamic", they are FOS.

By Howie at 09:01 AM | Comments |

February 13, 2017

Things That Are Haram: Love

Love, its commanded by God, "go forth and multiply", "He shall cleave to his wife."

Yet strangely forbidden by Islam.

Pakistani judge has banned Valentine's Day celebrations in the country's capital, saying they are against Islamic teachings.

Court official Niaz Saleh says the judge ruled Monday on a petition seeking to ban public celebrations in Islamabad. He says the order has been sent to Pakistan's media regulator to ensure a blackout on any Valentine's Day promotions in print or electronic media. A spokesman for the regulator could not immediately be reached for comment.

Islamist and right-wing parties in Pakistan view Valentine's Day as vulgar Western import.

I mean its almost as if Islam is not a message from God at all but the rantings of a Middle Eastern Warlord, slaveholder stuff?

Anyway got that, A man of God, St. Valentine married young people who were in love. So that they could fulfil God's command and have their union blessed.

This is "vulgar" under Islam? So under Islam God's will and marriage based on free will are "vulgar".

By Howie at 10:12 AM | Comments |

November 15, 2016

Confirmed: Han Solo Poked The Princess

We at Jawa Report have always been fans of Han Solo, but now we're pretty sure he's the coolest dude in the Galaxy.

While Fisher has hinted in the past that the pair may have fooled around, she gets down and dirty in the book, revealing that he allegedly got her drunk and seduced her during filming, part of which took place in Tunisia.

The pair wound up in bed after Ford, who is now 74, offered to drive a “wine sodden” Fisher home, she says.

The only problem is that the Princess doesn't remember all that much about it.
In one entry, she says she tried “relentlessly” to make Ford love her and came up with fantasies of Ford proposing to her with a “gold band with diamonds (inscribed) ‘Carrison.'”

In her book, Fisher notes that she’s fuzzy on the details of her and Ford’s three-month relationship because of ”the brutal strength of Harrison’s preferred strain of pot.”

Damn, you mean I had a chance?

By Howie at 02:57 PM | Comments |

April 19, 2016

Where's Rusty? Transgender Edition

He told me he was doing under cover work but I don't see any difference?

By Howie at 12:27 PM | Comments |

April 11, 2016

Where's Rusty? Cyclical Edition

Rusty has taken some time off blogging, to get in touch with his feelings and stuff.

According to the BBC, FShackelford claims that he has been getting his period “without bleeding” for three years now. “He says he's so close to his best friend and flatmate Amber-May Ellis that he gets cramps when she comes on each month.” This pathetic excuse of a man says he has even taken sick days because of his “period.” That he doesn’t have.
Don't worry he'll be back in three to five days.

Hat Tip: Blazing Cat Fur.

By Howie at 09:06 AM | Comments |

November 10, 2015

Where's Howie?

Mourning Bar Refaeli.

Never ending summer ☀️

A photo posted by Bar Refaeli (@barrefaeli) on

She's off the market Howie. Get over it!

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 06:08 PM | Comments |

September 29, 2015

Cecile Richards Can Already Afford Lamborghini

She makes almost 600K per year. There's good money in dead babies.


Hat Tip: El Chapo.

By Howie at 12:11 PM | Comments |

October 02, 2014

Another Breakthrough in Islamic Science!

Scantily clad women cause earthquakes.

Word, indeed they do, indeed they do.


By Howie at 01:13 PM | Comments |

September 17, 2014

Sandcrawler PSA: Don't Watch The Notebook

Never Never Never Never!

US brother and sister charged with 'having sex three times in trailer in church parking lot' after they watched The Notebook

By Howie at 10:09 AM | Comments |

December 30, 2013

Where's Vinnie?

He's been to the senior citizens center, again

On Thursday evening at the New Silver Heights Bingo Hall....

their dreams were put on hold by a man racing through hall with his pants down screaming "Bingo."


By Howie at 11:50 AM | Comments |

October 23, 2013

Where's Howie?

At the drive in. In Switzerland:

Switzerland's first sex drive-in, which opened two months ago in a bid to take prostitution off Zurich's streets, has been a success, the city said Tuesday following an initial evaluation.

"After two months I can say that this guarded prostitution site is working," Michael Herzig, director of social services for sex workers in the city, told reporters

And if he had more money he'd never come back.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 10:48 AM | Comments |

September 30, 2013

Saudi Cleric's Mind Affected by Sitting on His Testes Which He Uses to Think

Saudi Sheikh Saleh bin Saad al-Lohaidan is effing retarded double-clutch:

A conservative Saudi Arabian cleric has said women who drive risk damaging their ovaries and bearing children with clinical problems, countering activists who are trying to end the Islamic kingdom's male-only driving rules.

A campaign calling for women to defy the ban in a protest drive on October 26 has spread rapidly online over the past week and gained support from some prominent women activists. On Sunday, the campaign's website was blocked inside the kingdom.

In an interview published on Friday on the website sabq.org, Sheikh Saleh bin Saad al-Lohaidan said women aiming to overturn the ban on driving should put "reason ahead of their hearts, emotions and passions".

Also apparently the Sheikh Saleh bin Saad al-Lohaidan doesn't know that Single Mom's 1987 Dodge Caravan seats up to nine screaming snot noses for a reason.

The poor girl may have problems, but her ovaries are not one of them.

By Howie at 09:25 AM | Comments |

April 04, 2013

Boobies Against Islamists

Coming to a Mosque or Tunisian embassy near you.

BERLIN: Bare-breasted activists staged rallies in front of mosques and Tunisian embassies across Europe Thursday against what they called an Islamist crackdown on Arab women's rights.

A Femen activist burns a Salafist flag in front of the Great Mosque of Paris, on April 3, 2013.

"And we'll fight against them. And our boobs will be stronger than their stones."

The rallies targeted in particular the case of a Tunisian activist calling herself Amina Tyler who sparked a scandal last month when she posted pictures of herself online with the words "My body belongs to me" and "Fuck your morals" emblazoned across her naked breasts.

Probably NSFW in boobie fearing America.

Why u insult holly banner of Islam?

Previous: 'Quarantine Her"! Says Tunisian Islamist Regarding FEMEN Aminia's Topless Photo.
Arab Spring! Introducing Femen Tunisia

More Fatwa seeking boobies below the fold.

By Howie at 10:41 AM | Comments |

March 09, 2013

KY Recalls 3 of It's "Personal Lubricants" ....

... Sandra Fluke hardest hit.

Actually, I was going to say "Howie hardest hit." But that's just mean.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 02:12 PM | Comments |

March 04, 2013

USC Students: What is this "Vagina" You Speak of?

I could see this happening on that campus over in Westwood, but at USC? The campus which inspired such classics as Van Wilder and who's film school students routinely moonlight producing videos "in the valley" as a way to make ends meet?

Times certainly have changed at my alma mater:

USC is slated to kick off its Sex Week festivities today with a “Vagina Cupcakes” workshop in the library.

“The objective of the event is to encourage young women and men to better understand the human anatomy...

Apparently, students are supposed to make cupcake decorations that resemble female genitals.

Thanks to @IrishSpy

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 05:37 PM | Comments |

February 07, 2013

German Job Centers Now Referring Hot Young Girls for Brothel Work


A 19-year-old German woman was left appalled after receiving a letter offering work in a brothel by her local job centre. Good looks, however, were a prerequisite for the position.

The unnamed teen had been looking for work since last November and was thrilled when the job centre finally sent her an offer last week. But serving drinks at a nude bar at one of Bavarian city Augsburg's biggest brothels, the Colosseum, was not exactly what she had in mind.

Read the rest and take special note that the government employee made sure to evaluate whether the potential brothel worker was "suitable" for the job by calling them up on the phone.

Calling them up. Right. I'm sure that's all they did. Call them.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 03:51 PM | Comments |

December 26, 2012

Ministry of Al Qaeda Propaganda: Help Wanted

Images credit: Zionist Bandwidth Bitch

The Arab spring (aka, recruiting video) through the eyes of al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula's (AQAP) media arm: "Al-Malahem Media :: presents :: The Special Video Release :: Jihaad of an Ummah (Arabic with English subtitles)"

() جــهاد أمـــــة () by taimour_abdulwahab1

Note how they use the Mo video as reason for everything jihad, such as the Benghazi attack. We can thank bronco bama and his administration for that flustercluck, pffft.

h/t for video: al-Qaeda supporter, former troll and Jawaa Bitch: Censored31.

By Stable Hand at 06:30 PM | Comments |

November 30, 2012

Rusty Leaving Academia for Dream Job as Pre-Fight Sex Machine


I think I just found my calling in life: ladies testosterone booster:

Ronda Rousey [shown above], the first woman signed to the UFC, says sex — and plenty of it — are on her things to do list before she fights.

"For girls, it raises your testosterone so I try to have as much sex as possible before I fight actually," Rousey said on the "Jim Rome on Showtime" show Wednesday night.

Rusty: I'm like steroids, but only for hot would-be female fighters.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 01:17 PM | Comments |

July 21, 2012

Fred Willard Gets Off

A few days ago, actor Fred Willard was arrested for "lewdness" in an adult theater. Does anyone else see the hypocrisy of charging someone with "lewdness" in a theater showing porn?

Well, the guy is getting off. Legally, I mean. Good, I say. Leave the guy alone.

By DMartyr at 06:52 AM | Comments |

May 14, 2012

Meet Obama's New Sekrit Service Detail

Its called Hooker Proofing.

During a campaign stop in Reno, Nevada, President Obama announced that from now on, the Secret Service would only hire sexless, elderly couples to protect the President. The move comes in response a recent scandal involving young, stud-muffinly, male Secret Service agents paying women for sex during a Presidential visit to Colombia.

The latest hires, Fred and Ethel Mertz of Reno, Nevada, have been married for 45 years, and last engaged in an act of physical intimacy in 1990.

Well I guess that works as well as my Eunuch idea.

By Howie at 03:20 PM | Comments |

April 25, 2012

American Gynecologist Locates The Mythical G-Spot

From Global Edmonton:

In the latest and controversial study highlighting the continuing scientific fascination with the maybe-not-so mythical G-spot, a U.S. doctor says he has found physical evidence that the elusive erogenous zone is real.

I don't know why this is news now. The Jawa Report discovered it months ago.

By DMartyr at 12:14 PM | Comments |

April 14, 2012

Because The Jawa Report Has Higher Standards

No other blog will share the key to true happiness like we will.

By DMartyr at 07:01 AM | Comments |

March 06, 2012

Where is Dr Rusty Shackleford? Slutty Co-Ed Edition XXV

He's applying for a job at Stonehill College because he heard they had a lot of super slutty students.

Blankmeyer claims in her lawsuit that her roommate, Laura, would have sex with her boyfriend while she was in the room and sleeping.


The roommate was having online and actual sex right in front of her,” Blankmeyer’s complaint states. She also claims that Laura would engage in “sexually inappropriate video chatting when Lindsay was in the room.”

Because Blankmeyer alleges her mental health deteriorated while she was in that situation and the school did nothing to help her resolve it, she is suing the college for $150,000.

By Howie at 02:20 PM | Comments |

March 05, 2012


(Click to Enlarge)

By DMartyr at 02:10 PM | Comments |

February 21, 2012

Former IMF Head Questioned Over Hooker Orgy

Why? Because I wanted to write IMF, Hooker, and Orgy all in the same sentence.

Also, how do I get a job at the IMF?

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 05:52 PM | Comments |

February 09, 2012

Abstinence Is Free


Barbara Boxer is defending Obamacare's birth control mandate. She claims it costs an average person $600 a year for contraceptives.

I did a little online shopping (I don't usually buy condoms in bulk) and found 1000 condoms for as little as $112.22! You might be able to get an even better deal from a condom warehouse like CondomDepot or DiscountCondomKing, which offers free, discreet shipping.

Do the math. 1000 condoms divided by 365 days - that's 2.7 condoms per day. (That's also under 31¢ per day - cheaper than a cup of coffee!)

Seriously, who needs more than that? Birth control, at a fraction of the cost.

Update: Watcher in comments mentions birth control pills. Walmart's $4 Prescription Program offers generic birth control pills. That's just $48 per year. But that might cost you a pizza night.

By DMartyr at 10:30 AM | Comments |

October 18, 2011

Your iThoughts Betray You


....Divorcing wife. Thanks iPhone 4s and Find My Friends.

"I got my wife a new 4s and loaded up find my friends without her knowing. She told me she was at her friends house in the east village. I've had suspicions about her meeting this guy who live uptown. Lo and behold, Find my Friends has her right there.

"I just texted her asking where she was and the dumb b---- said she was on 10th Street!! Thank you Apple, thank you App Store, thank you all. These beautiful treasure trove of screen shots [sic] going to play well when I meet her ... at the lawyer's office in a few weeks.

Well that chick deserves it, you are always supposed to use a female relative as an excuse. But apparently the chick does have a sense of humor, she said something to her hubby about being in the meat district?
Was hard to find stupid cab hate meat packing...
Bwaaahahaaa! Meat packing....

It could have been worse I suppose.

By Howie at 08:23 AM | Comments |

August 09, 2011

Match Making Based On Religion

OKCupid, an online dating service, has a very interesting dating survey. They've compiled compatibility data based on participants' religion.

FYI, 60.2% is considered average in this study. Higher than that is a better match, and lower means less compatibility in a relationship.

The results:

Red indicates mutual dislike and green, mutual like. For brevity, and because that’s where we have by far the most data, all the tables on this page display data for straight men and women only.


The numbers on the perimeter of the table are the weighted average match percentage, a measure of group likability, for each column or row. Here’s what we see:

    Jews and Agnostics get along better with people. Jewish men, in particular, have an above average match percentage with every religious group. They even match Muslim women better than Muslim men do, which I find both a hilarious irony and a somewhat sad reflection on the fact that Muslim males don’t seem to be doing very well. The data also cast an interesting light on the Jewish people’s history as a persecuted people: the underlying facts indicate an intrinsic mainstream likability, yet Jews have not been, and in some places still aren’t, “liked.” We’ll investigate a similar dichotomy in the second half of this post when we look at matching by race.

    Muslims of both sexes and Hindu men get along worse. Now is a good time to stress that just because a group has low match percentages, even across the board, that does not mean they are bad people. It just means that they’re harder to please. The converse is also true: the above chart is not evidence that Jews or Agnostics are better than the rest of us. Just better liked. In any event, please keep in mind that each individual has designed his own matching criteria, so the poor-matching groups aren’t failing some outsider’s imposed system. Why, for example, Hindu men would match worst with Hindu women is a mystery.

    Catholics are more universally liked than Protestants. While neither Christian group has many extremes of like/dislike, Protestant Christians only truly match well with other Christians. Catholics have above average match percentages with Hindus, Jews, and even Agnostics. Looks like Vatican II is working, guys!

Read more.

By DMartyr at 06:00 AM | Comments |

July 21, 2011

Search For Missing Soldier Leads To Marijuana Operation


LAWTON, Okla.-- Authorities checking on the welfare of a Fort Sill soldier have found a large indoor marijuana growing operation in the man's apartment.

The soldier is identified only as a 27-year-old medic from Texas who worked at Reynolds Army Hospital. He has not been found.[More...]

I certainly hope he is found safe.

He also has some splainin as to why he had approximately $70,000 worth of marijuana growing in his apartment.

h/t NorthwestFire

By Stable Hand at 11:19 PM | Comments |

March 24, 2011

I'm Pretty Sure That Bunga Bunga Means Good Gay

This story asks the question, What does Bunga Bunga mean.

The BBC said it was originally thought that Berlusconi picked up the phrase from his friend Moammar Gadhafi. The Libyan leader reportedly hosted parties involving “harems’’ of young women and called the bashes bunga bunga.
Then they speculate about the meaning, which is easily located here at the Daily Mail.


Any questions?

By Howie at 06:23 AM | Comments |

March 15, 2011

Why We've Already Beat al Qaeda

We've already won. Al Qaeda, the Salafi jihadis, and the Islamists just don't know it yet. This isn't evidence, it's proof.

As seen at Big Peace.

QED people. QED.

RELATED: Hot Muslim chick Tehmeena Afzal shows it all for Allah's sake.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 10:12 AM | Comments |

March 08, 2011

Ted Kennedy: Traitor, Super Stud

Okay, the whole undermining America's foreign policy from within I get. That's just kind of par for the course. And I always figured Kennedy for the type that despite getting it often and for free from naive young ideologues, that he also paid for it from time to time a la Charlie Sheen.

But Ted Kennedy actually tried to rent out an entire whorehouse? Bwahahahahahaha!!


By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:27 AM | Comments |

February 23, 2011

Wisconsin Protesters FAIL

Totally clueless. Sheesh

Here's the video:

h/t The Blaze

By Stable Hand at 06:44 PM | Comments |

February 01, 2011

Egypt: Giant Screen in Tahrir Streaming Al Jazeera Propaganda Live

Qatar's, as in state owned, Al Jazeera must be proud of freedom of the press.

Oh wait...

AJELive (AJELive) on Twitter_giant screen.png

By Stable Hand at 02:07 PM | Comments |

December 17, 2010

Sandcrawler PSA: Let the Serious Shopping Begin!

OH and while I'm thinking of it, if ur on FB, share some Jesus Joy with the Akhi. Cause you know Jihadis love Jesus(pbuh) and Twisted Sister......I think so anyway...


By Howie at 08:00 AM | Comments |

December 02, 2010

Well, Y Not?


WikiLeaks: Kuwait wanted Gitmo detainees to be 'killed in combat'

The Kuwaiti government privately urged the Americans to return Guantánamo detainees to Afghanistan so they could be “killed in combat”.

A leaked diplomatic cable discloses that the Kuwaiti interior minister resisted US pressure for the country to establish a “rehabilitation centre” for terror suspects, saying that they were “rotten” and “the best thing to do is get rid of them”.

The hardline view emerged in a private meeting between US and Kuwaiti officials in February 2009.

During the meeting, the US ambassador suggested that Kuwait follow Saudi Arabia’s example and attempt to rehabilitate terrorist suspects.

Rehabilitating terrorists isn't working out too well..so Oh wait, I srzly didn't mean that...honest

By Stable Hand at 08:25 AM | Comments |

October 01, 2010

Boob Job in a Bottle

A new formula from Rodial Body Care Products promises to increase bust sizes by one-half cup.

The product is being dubbed "Boob Job in a Bottle."

According to the manufacturer:

Boob job works with your natural fat cells. As the fat cells move around the body after eating, boob job "blocks" the fat into the area where the product has been applied, so the bust and décolleté areas. You will see a gradual increase in cup size within 56 days as well as gaining an instant lifting and firming effect. Increase in cup size by 8.4%.

Rodial boob job is based on a natural phytosterol, derived from an Asian root that has no hormonal activity which works on the skin and the layer of fat beneath and is 100% paraben free.

In a nutshell, the Boob Job formula wrangles maverick fat cells into the boob corral resulting in added heft. After the formula is slowly, gently and lovingly rubbed into the boob, fat cells are attracted to the area.

Scarlett Johansson.jpgTo be honest, the subject matter interests me but I'm skeptical of the claims. However, despite my skepticism and the strident criticism of some medical experts, celebrities (pics) are devoted to the Boob Job treatment.

For example, actress Scarlett Johansson (right) regularly undergoes the Boob Job treatment and has endorsed the product. As can be seen, results are remarkable. On a different note, I am curious about whether she applies the Boob Job gel herself or if she has the luckiest assistant in the whole world working for her.

Recommended application of Boob Job is twice daily for 56 days and twice a week afterward for maintenance. The price is £125 (approx. $200) for 100ml.

If any Jawa readers try this stuff, leave a comment and tell us your results.

By at 01:29 PM | Comments |

September 22, 2010

Pin The tail Logo/Flag On the Ground Zero Mosque/Cordoba House/Park 51

Any one or all three!! Or, let the good Imam Rauf hold one.

All photoshop appreciated, thanks.

Muslim Brotherhood:



By Stable Hand at 11:19 AM | Comments |

August 04, 2010

Confirmed: Hot Facebook Chick Friending You Is Probably a Hezbollah Spy

Finally the truth is out about all of Ronin's hot facebook friends. Aaron Mannes calls it the "Fakebook" phenomenon:

[Quoting an Israeli source]"The Hizbullah agent pretended she was an Israeli girl named “Reut Zukerman”, “Reut” succeeded during several weeks to engage more then 200 reserve and active personnel.

The Hizbullah agent gained the trust of soldiers and officers that didn’t hesitate to confirm him as a “friend” once they saw he/she is friends with several of their friends from the same unit. Most of them assumed that “Reut” was just another person who served in that elite intelligence unit....."

The picture attached to “Reut Zukerman” was, of course, an appealing young woman (some tricks are timeless.)

So the next time some hot chick friends you, be suspicious. Be very suspicious.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 02:51 PM | Comments |

July 07, 2010

Better to Become a Man

(Bhubaneshwar, India) A 36-year-old woman (name withheld) has undergone sexual reassignment surgery, allegedly to avoid a forced marriage.

Furthermore, it's suspected that the woman, an attorney, has a serious case of lovey-dovey touchy-feelies with another female who she reportedly feared would end the relationship and marry a man.

Understandably, the woman never informed her parents of the sex change plans since they wanted to marry her off.

From her hospital bed on Saturday, the female-to-male assignee exclaimed, "I feel free now. No one can force me to marry. It is better to become a man to get rid of sufferings met by women." (more…)

* * *
In a tangentially-related case, an Ohio woman, 31, pretends to be a boy, 14, to mix it up with a girl, 16. Sheesh!

By at 11:36 AM | Comments |