June 21, 2017

Sandcrawler PSA: Stress is Bad MKay?

I've been feeling a little stressed lately and then I realized that what this blog needs is more boobies.

Boobies are the natural stress relief. Addictive yet beneficial, like The Spice.


By Howie at 08:21 AM | Comments |

August 01, 2016

Jawa Report Officially Endorses Donald Trump

Someone is attempting to make Trump President by pointing out that Melania was once in a hot artsy sexy good gay photograph.

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And also some other super hot photographs.

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Um, so that does it, this Trump guy makes Bill Clinton look like an amateur. He picks this.

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Hillary picks.

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He picks this girl.

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Who keeps and turns in his DNA.

So who's the better picker here? We're all in for Trump now.

By Howie at 07:53 AM | Comments |

July 17, 2016

Ministry of Boobies: Die Whitey! Die!

Such a nice lady. Anyway combining current events and boobs in one post, only at Jawa.


But she only means Kill in, you know, in a positive way.

By Howie at 08:01 PM | Comments |

October 21, 2015

Colorado Town Says No! To Boobies?

OK so I can buy weed but boobies are banned? I'm confused.

The city council voted unanimously Tuesday evening to reject changes to a law that prohibits the display of female breasts.

The hometown of Colorado State University did amend its indecency code to allow public breastfeeding. But otherwise it remains a $250 fine for a woman over the age of 10 to display her breast "below the top of the nipple."

"It just doesn't seem right" to allow female toplessness, said Councilman Ray Martinez. "People are going to say, we go to Fort Collins and run around topless. And I don't want that."

Gay!

Well that depends. There are good topless activists and there are bad topless activists.

How could you regulate the good and still stop the bad.

Fortunately we at Jawa will never have that problem. Like I said never.

By Howie at 01:01 PM | Comments |

October 06, 2015

Ministry of Jiggly: Shortage Edition

Yeah I know I've been neglecting my blogging duties. Here's some more of those swesome moving pictures the kids are talking about.

Allahu..... Ack.... barrrrrhhhhh.......

By Howie at 01:22 PM | Comments |

September 16, 2015

Ministry of Jiggly: Here's Rooking at You Kate Edition

Rooking..... rooking.... reerry rooking.


Exclusive SI Swimsuit intimates video from Kate Upton's rooking shoot in the Philippines.

What did you want?


By Howie at 11:06 AM | Comments |

June 18, 2015

New $10 Bill Prototype


F*ck yeah! Bonus Kate below the fold.

By Howie at 03:47 PM | Comments |

June 03, 2015

A Post Totally Not About Caitlyn Jenner

Is it me or does Kate's behind look just a little sunburned.


By Howie at 09:24 AM | Comments |

January 06, 2015

Mia Khalifa Gets Death Fatwa For Muslima Porn

Jpost:

Mia Khalifa, who grew up in Lebanon, has been the target of many death threats on social media after becoming a top porn star on the web in 2014.

Mia Khalifa, 21, who grew up in Lebanon but moved to the US when she was a teenager and now lives in Miami, Florida, has received a flurry of death threats after her recent success as a porn star, becoming the main topic of a fiery Lebanese social media debate.

To see what all the fuss is about don't click here or here (NSFW)

By Howie at 12:00 PM | Comments |

December 09, 2014

Ministry of Jiggly: Jingle Bells Edition

And now a moment of jiggly.


By Howie at 04:46 PM | Comments |

October 18, 2014

Ministry of Jiggly: Video The Making of the Hot Shots Calendar

Hot chicks with guns you say?

A risque video shot in conservative Utah featuring bikini-clad women firing high-powered weapons and riding in tanks for a pinup calendar has raised the ire of a pair of law enforcement agencies who suspect some of their equipment and officers may be in the film.

The Utah National Guard learned about it Tuesday and is determining if military equipment was used in the video, Lt. Col. Steven Fairbourn said. The Utah National Guard didn't give permission for the project, he said.

See its not the police who are the buzzkillers, its their total asshole deskbound bureaucrat bosses.

But Howie did you get the video? I hear you say. Oh ye of little faith.

And also arrest me baby, cuff me and stuff me, make me feel cheap.

Hat Tip: Liberty Speaks.

By Howie at 07:27 AM | Comments |

September 26, 2014

Yet Another Great Moment in Human History

The very first T&A shoot in Antarctica in the entire history of mankind.

No word on if Kate intends to continue on to the pole.

Heh, I said pole.

Bonus National Side Boob Day? Those sideboobs got nothing on Kate's sideboobs.

By Howie at 10:05 AM | Comments |

July 11, 2014

Ministry of Jiggly: MILF Edition

I dunno, there is some debate going on about 42 year old women. All I can say about it is I hope you survive the encounter.

Esquire writer Tom Junod generously notes would be willing to have sex with Sofia Vergara, even though she is old (she is 42)…

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TOM notes how Esquire attempts to do a Rule 5 on women in their early forties… and then get mocked by Gawker

By Howie at 10:17 AM | Comments |

July 07, 2014

Ministry of Endorsements: Fly New Zealand Air!

The Faminazi buzz killers are killing this Air New Zealand ad, because, they are fat ugly bitches out to ruin other peoples lives.


By Howie at 11:22 AM | Comments |

July 01, 2014

Ministry of Jiggly: Autolink Edition

We're not sure what this post is about. Something about politics and young, big-breasted, blue-eyed, long-haired blondes.

I’m not sure about the rest of you out there, but most of us middle-aged-ish males (and this isn’t limited to “white American males” either) are ever-thankful that young, big-breasted, blue-eyed, long-haired blonde (YBBBELHB) women everywhere have basically no concept of the power they wield… because if they ever got a clue, they’d end up ruling the entire world in no time.

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click her bewbs 4 bigger bewbs

You may be asking yourself “Why is Hunter writing about ‘young, big-breasted, blue-eyed, long-haired blondes?” to which I have to reply “Must I have a reason???”

I've sort of lost track myself, but I'm sure its a good take on an issue of great social and political import. I think.

By Howie at 02:33 PM | Comments |

June 12, 2014

Ministry of Jiggly: Iraqi Mind Cleansing Edition

I can't take it anymore! Is there anything Obama hasn't screwed up 110%? Don't answer that because it will make his "To Do" list.

Huh? What did ya'll want anyway?

By Howie at 10:02 AM | Comments |

June 09, 2014

And Now A Touching Heartfelt Tribute to 'Merica

Totally 100% NOT in remembrance of that Bowe guy? WTF was his problem again?



By Howie at 09:02 AM | Comments |

February 26, 2014

Sandcrawler PSA: Comic Boobs Are Always Epic

Always, well except for Olive Oil.

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I can hear you all out there, "Boobs? What Boobs?"

Behold.

Thanks to Gus.

By Howie at 08:36 AM | Comments |

February 14, 2014

Sandcrawler PSA: Signs Spring is Just Around the Corner

You have your groundhog, the melting snow, the Sugar Maples and buds on the trees.

Your mostly nekkid models on tropical islands.

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Pardon me while I research the important hard hitting news of the day.

Yeah that'ts it.

By Howie at 09:14 AM | Comments |

February 13, 2014

Hot Olympic Skier Jackie Chamoun Boobies Cause Outrage in Lebanon

The Lede:

Lebanon’s fractured sense of national identity was on full display this week, as bloggers rallied online to defend the honor of a female Olympian, the skier Jackie Chamoun, accused by the country’s sports minister of tarnishing the nation’s image by posing for seminude photographs on the slopes outside Beirut.

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As the blogger Abir Ghattas explained, the photographs of the young skier and a colleague, and a risqué promotional video for the calendar they were used in, were unknown in Lebanon until a television channel, Al Jadeed, published them on Monday under the headline, “Scandal — Lebanese Skiing Champions Are Nude Starlets!”

Oh the horror!


NSFW

More images of Jackie Chamoun below the fold.

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By Howie at 10:24 AM | Comments |

February 07, 2014

Ministry of Jiggly: Snowmagedon Edition

Rusty is right, I've not been feeling my best and I've been neglecting the Ministry of Boobies.

But its just been so cold that I got to thinking that even boobies would not help.

How could such a thought have even crossed my mind?! I feel warmer already.

Which means that the EPA will probably ban boobies and sunshine next.

By Howie at 11:26 AM | Comments |

January 15, 2014

John Kerry Opens Mouth, Proves He's Stupid

Of course, many Leftists would simply call this level of stupidity sophistication, not knowing that to be sophisticated has until recent times been a bad thing.

Your Sec. State:

And so we have a huge common interest in dealing with this issue of poverty, which in many cases is the root cause of terrorism
Wow, that's a new level of dumb. This guy is only four heartbeats away from the Presidency.

Thanks to Laura

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:13 AM | Comments |

January 06, 2014

Sandcrawler Public Service: Jawa Warming Center

These mid winter side and underboobs brought to you by your friendly neighborhood Jawas.


By Howie at 09:07 AM | Comments |

December 30, 2013

Louisiana Taliban: Marry Young Woman Who Can Cook

About 15 or 16 but you have to ask her daddy first.

If something works, it works. To intellectuals, however, theory takes precedence over practice and ideological abstractions like “equality” are more important than actual success and happiness. So in the wake of their failure to destroy “Duck Dynasty” because of patriarch Phil Robertson’s alleged homophobia, now the Left has its collective panties in a bunch because, in 2009, Robertson said this:
“Make sure that she can cook a meal, you need to eat some meals that she cooks, check that out,” he said. “Make sure she carries her Bible. That’ll save you a lot of trouble down the road. And if she picks your ducks, now, that’s a woman.”

The Duck Commander company founder added: “You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16, they’ll pick your ducks. You need to check with mom and dad about that of course.”

Hell those are some pretty civilized Talibans right there. Here in Bumfuct when you pass a car in which Talibs have their 14 year old debutantes in the back its the parents looking and pointing you out as "A man in a tie with a car!"

As far as marrying, that first baby can come any time, the rest take about nine months.

By Howie at 11:23 AM | Comments |

November 07, 2013

Kate Upton Nekkid!

I'm pretty sure this is the best Youtube video evah!

By Howie at 11:54 AM | Comments |

October 21, 2013

Heartbreak! Japanese Teens Not F*cking

This looks like a job for Young American Redneck!

What happens to a country when its young people stop having sex? Japan is finding out.

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Japan's under-40s appear to be losing interest in conventional relationships. Millions aren't even dating, and increasing numbers can't be bothered with sex. For their government, "celibacy syndrome" is part of a looming national catastrophe.

No, your grandchild might not score in the top of his class if you arrange for Young American Redneck to boink your tender Japanese daughter, but at least there will be someone to take care of you in your twilight years.

By Howie at 01:28 PM | Comments |

September 27, 2013

Ministry of Jiggly: Techno Edition

I'm back!

Bet Miley can't do that. Takes more than two fried eggs nailed to the wall ;-)

By Howie at 09:14 AM | Comments |

July 29, 2013

Weiner's Wanker Leaker Makes Huge Splash

Baby got back... a whole lotta back.

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Update: Eeeeewwwww!

‘I’m seeing this one sugar daddy right now who pays me $1000 to go down on me for half an hour.

By Howie at 11:11 AM | Comments |

July 24, 2013

Where's Rusty

He's thinking of moving to Kosovo and running for Parliament.


By Howie at 07:45 AM | Comments |

July 16, 2013

Heartbreak Co-Conspirator in Jihad Jane Case Can't Pray in Irish Prison Because of the Porn

I've waited a very long time for this.

An Algerian man jailed in Ireland and wanted by the United States on terrorism charges filed a damages suit against the Irish state on Tuesday, saying his prison conditions were "not even suitable for animals".

Ali Charaf Damache is wanted by the FBI for conspiracy in a foiled international plot to murder a Swedish cartoonist whose depiction of the Prophet Mohammad with the body of a dog caused outrage in Muslim countries.

"Cork Prison is not even suitable for animals," Damache, 47, told the High Court. "There was a television and radio (in my cell). When I practiced my prayer they (cellmates) deliberately put the volume up (and) they put pictures of naked women on the wall. I can't pray in a place where there are naked pictures..."

Oh the horror, if anyone has, you know, contact with some of Damache neighbors, ask them to put this one up for us.

Damache said he had been unable to wash before prayer and handling the Koran, as his faith requires, and was usually allowed to shower and change his underwear just once a week

Also I hear there is a rumor he's keeping hashish in his rectum. Better check that.

Damache was convicted in the Jihad Jane plot. Another accomplice Jihad Jamie (aka Jamie Paulin-Ramirez married Damache upon her arrival in Ireland only to find that Damache was only interested in the Muslima as a sex slave.

Hat Tip: El Grillo.

By Howie at 11:58 AM | Comments |

July 10, 2013

If My Vagina Was A Gun...

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Hump day poetry from Texas:

If my vagina was a gun, you would stand for its rights,

You would ride on buses and fight all the fights.

If my vagina was a gun, you would treat it with care,

You wouldn't spill all its secrets because, well, why go there.

If my vagina was a gun, you’d say what it holds is private

From cold dead hands we could pry, you surely would riot.

If my vagina was a gun, its rights would all be protected, no matter the body count or the children affected.

If my vagina was a gun, I could bypass security, concealed carry laws would ensure I’d have impunity.

If my vagina was a gun, I wouldn’t have to beg you, I could hunt this great land and do all the things men do.

But my vagina is not a gun, it is a mightier thing,

With a voice that rings true making lawmakers’ ears ring.

Vaginas are not delicate, they are muscular and magic,

So stop messing with mine, with legislation that’s tragic.

My vagina's here to demand from the source,

Listen to the voices of thousands or feel their full force.

Okay, I support gun-control now.

Seriously, this poem doesn't work for me. This poem sounds like it was written for a penis, not a vagina. Really, try it yourself.

By DMartyr at 01:17 PM | Comments |

June 28, 2013

Everyone's a Critic

In comments someone noted one of my recent boobie posts was "No Kate Upton."Very well.

We do do requests....

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By Howie at 11:05 AM | Comments |

June 27, 2013

Ministry of Jiggly: Death Star Edition

Hat Tip: Rsluty.

By Howie at 02:13 PM | Comments |

June 21, 2013

Ministry of Jiggly: Thrilling Palette Cleanser

Yeah I know that last post is disturbing even if its a fake image. So to help clear your minds.

Yahoo:

Ola Ray, the female lead in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video, still looks stunning nearly 30 years after the release of the epic 13-minute short.
Ray released new photos Wednesday to promote a tribute to Jackson she is debuting Friday.

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The 52-year-old model and singer is clearly proud of her figure. In one photo, Ray reclines on a black leather sofa, wearing a short red dress that accentuates her curvy legs. In another pose, she straddles a chair while donning a revealing black leotard and stilettos.

Ola posed for Playboy back in the day (NSFW)

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By Howie at 12:42 PM | Comments |

June 10, 2013

Ministry of Jiggly: Putin Porking Alina Kabayeva?

Mistress Kabayeva is not only smoking hot.

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She's also very bendy.

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By Howie at 08:38 AM | Comments |

June 07, 2013

Ministry of Jiggly: Kate Upton Edition

NY Post:

Kate Upton is busting out all over the big screen.

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The bombshell struggled to contain her plump cleavage in an unbuttoned camisole top and lacy yellow bra on the set of the Cameron Diaz comedy, “The Other Woman.”

Jiggly Kate slideshow here.

By Howie at 09:52 AM | Comments |

Pamela Anderson's Boobies Banned in UK

ABC:

A risque commercial featuring the actress, 45, has been banned in Britain for being “sexist and degrading to women,” according to The Guardian newspaper.

By Howie at 08:20 AM | Comments |