May 11, 2013
Remember The Dude That Stabbed An American Outside US Embassy In Cairo?
The American Mahmoud Badr chose to stab was Chris Stone and like, well read this:
The man who stabbed an American in Cairo on Thursday says he was motivated by a hatred of the United States.Ooops.
Mahmoud Badr, 30, who holds a bachelor's degree in commerce, was arrested on Thursday after stabbing American academic Chris Stone in the neck outside the US embassy in Cairo.
Badr told interrogators that he took his mother's knife, travelled to Cairo by train from Kafr El-Sheikh, and went to the US embassy in search of an American citizen to kill, Al-Ahram Arabic news website reported on Friday[...]
Chris Stone was recently appointed head of the US-based Center for Arabic Study Abroad (CASA) by the American University in Cairo (AUC).
He has been praised for his pro-Palestine views and his interest in Arab culture.
I'm sorry for laughing and I don't want to condone attacking any American but pro-Pali? The jokes they write themselves.
May 02, 2013
Ministry of Irony Mayor Bloomberg Refused Second Slice of Pizza
ew York Mayor Michael Bloomberg was denied a second slice of pizza today at an Italian eatery in Brooklyn.
The owners of Collegno's Pizzeria say they refused to serve him more than one piece to protest Bloomberg's proposed soda ban,which would limit the portions of soda sold in the city.
Bloomberg was having an informal working lunch with city comptroller John Liu at the time and was enraged by the embarrassing prohibition. The owners would not relent, however, and the pair were forced to decamp to another restaurant to finish their meal.
Hat Tip: Master.
Update: Last night I was wondering if maybe this was satire because of, you know, the like super awesome quotes, so um, yeah. Just call me gullible.
Still its pretty freaking awesome satire.
April 25, 2013
Mother of Boston Bomber Who Believes Son Was Framed Also Knew He Was "Willing to Die for Islam"
Artist's rendition of Boston bomber's mother
All of this cognitive dissonance has to hurt Zubeidat Tsarnaeva's head:
The mother of Boston Marathon bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev knew as early as 2011 that her son had been radicalized and sent text messages to family in Russia suggesting he was willing to die for Islam, the FBI told lawmakers this week according to two officials with knowledge of the Capitol Hill briefing.And thus the conspiracy laden mind is laid bare. The mom thinks her son was set up, while simultaneously knowing that he was a radical Islamist ready to die for the cause.
You wonder how a person like Tamerlin Tsarnaeva could simultaneously think that 9/11 was an inside job, that Muslims would never do such a thing, and then go on to murder people in the name of Islam?
Wonder no more. There's something wrong with their brains.
Or, as a friend of mine used to explain: they can't help it, they're retarded.
April 20, 2013
Car Hijacked By Boston Terrorists Had "Coexist" Bumper Sticker
My irony meter just exploded.
"Coexist" in Islam means surrendering to Muslims - 'Coexist and we won't kill you.'
Some liberals just don't get it.
April 10, 2013
Anjem Choudary Pimpin' Dem Hos
Unfortunately no one had change for a nickle.
A group of al-Qaeda groupies from Women4Shariah attended a protest outside the Sri Lankan Embassy in London, accounting the government for their “ongoing attacks against the Muslims”.
Hat Tip: Master.
March 13, 2013
NY Mayor Bloomberg Responsible for Rape of the Earth
And also being a dickhead.
NPR:...palm oil, which is often used for frying donuts. It's harvested mainly in Asia, and its production has caused serious deforestation in Malaysia and especially in Indonesia, as tropical forests are chopped down to make room for oil palm plantations.
But why has demand for palm oil surged?
...In the old days, hydrogenated oils — so-called trans fats — did this job. But in 2007, another New York politician — New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg — banned trans fats in restaurants. Nestle says many popular food brands, including Oreo and Dunkin' Donuts, voluntarily replaced trans fats with the best available substitute: palm oil.
"It's quite ironic," says Nestle.
Sandcrawler PSA: The DPRK and You
The another installment in the continuing saga of North Korean efforts to save America.
Damn I didn't realize I had it so good.
February 20, 2013
Ministry of Irony: Liberal Outlets Notice ObamaCare is Fascist POS
Renee Montagne talks to Morgan Downey, editor of the Downey Obesity Report about employers using carrots — and sticks — to improve the health of their employees.And you fat f*cks thought Obama would just stick it the the smokers and the evil rich?
You poor bastages.
February 01, 2013
RIP Ed Koch
Thanks to Bethany.
Ed Koch via Huffpo: On my tombstone, which awaits me at the Trinity Church nondenominational cemetery at 155th Street and Amsterdam Avenue, I had inscribed the last words of Daniel Pearl -- uttered at his publicly viewed murder -- which were, "My father is Jewish. My mother is Jewish. I am Jewish." I believe those words should be part of the annual services on the Jewish High Holiday of Yom Kippur, and should be repeated by the congregants.Ironically Mr. Koch passed away today on the 10th anniversary of the Murder of Daniel Pearl, may God rest his soul.
January 17, 2013
Free as the wind blows.
Damn, Whiskers was just trying to make a living.
December 31, 2012
Secretary Clinton Hostpitalized
First let me say I hope secretary Clinton recovers well. I think a lot of folks on the right going after really Benghazi have her bosses judgement in their sights. They want someone held accountable to Benghazi and the suspect Obama blocked efforts to protect our staff there in the name of politics. And of course Secretary Clinton and Obama did fail, miserably.The fact though is that we have no acting Secretary of State, I'm no fan of John Kerry but if Clinton is going we might as well get on with it.
But there's a deeper irony here, that Clinton and Obama have just experienced A Déjà vu from the Bill Clinton years in which al-Qaeda attacked our embassies in Africa.
The failure to learn the lessons of the 1998 United States embassy bombings led directly to 9/11 2001.
The bigger lesson is that this time al-Qaeda didn't need a suicide bomber, they had enough force on the ground to take our consulate, kill our people and raise their flag.
At Jawa Report we call that a clue.
December 14, 2012
Susan Rice is Sad
Ironically Susan Rice said she felt like she was being attacked by an overwhelming force and despite calls for help, it never came.Mmmm, yeah....
December 12, 2012
Sometimes Liberals Just Make Me Laugh
I'm a big fan of dark humor, but irony is also one of my favorites. The comment below is a perfect example. This is a comment left at the Youtube video showing the unprovoked assault of Steven Crowder:
December 11, 2012
Ministry of Irony: Big Brother Catches Big Brothers
With event data recorders - aka black boxes - likely about to become mandatory equipment on all new cars and light-duty trucks sold in America, the recent experiences of two highly visible politicians shed light on the pros and cons.
First, there is former New Jersey Gov. Jon Corzine's official vehicle was involved in a 2007 crash in which he sustained serious injuries.
It turned out that Corzine was not buckled up even though his driver was moving down the freeway in excess of 90 mph.
December 10, 2012
#3 Contributor to Obama's Reelection Sheltering Billions Overseas
Google Inc. (GOOG) avoided about $2 billion in worldwide income taxes in 2011 by shifting $9.8 billion in revenues into a Bermuda shell company, almost double the total from three years before, filings show.Google was #3 in donations to Barack Obama's 2012 campaign.
By legally funneling profits from overseas subsidiaries into Bermuda, which doesn’t have a corporate income tax, Google cut its overall tax rate almost in half. The amount moved to Bermuda is equivalent to about 80 percent of Google’s total pretax profit in 2011.
University of California $1,092,906
Microsoft Corp $761,343
Google Inc $737,055
US Government $627,628
Harvard University $602,992
Kaiser Permanente $532,674
Stanford University $473,372
November 28, 2012
When Spam Texting Goes Terribly Right
An Islamic terrorist bomb plot to cause carnage on Moscow's Red Square was thwarted by a spam text message, a court heard today.That's what happens when you order your cell phone detonators from a Nigerian Princess.
Ilyas Saidov was jailed for 15 years for organising the attack in which two women suicide bombers were supposed to wear explosive belts to be detonated by a mobile phone call.
But just hours before they were to strike on New Year's Eve 2010, one belt exploded after the detonator was activated by a spam text, killing one of the women and prompting the arrest of the other.
Hat Tip: Intelgirl.
November 19, 2012
Anti Gun Lobby Praises Ill For Highest Murder Rate Ever
Its called cognitive dissonance.
Anti-gun advocates have honored Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn and Congressman Bob Dold with awards for their leadership.Um yeah.....
The Illinois Council Against Handgun Violence announced the awards last week.
They cited Quinn's leadership in the fight against gun violence, including attempts to keep Illinois as the only state that doesn't allowed concealed carry. They also pointed to the Chicago Democrat's recent proposal to ban assault weapons in Illinois.
The group also recognized Dold, a suburban Chicago Republican. The group says Dold crossed party lines to oppose "dangerous" gun legislation.
October 1, 2012Violence over the weekend resulted in Chicago's 400th homicide this year -- that's up 25 percent from the same time last year.Extra delicious irony.
On Sunday, Jose Escobar, 25, was shot and killed after a fight near a fast food stand at 35th and Morgan in Chicago's Bridgeport neighborhood. His friend was left paralyzed. Escobar's family says he was a gang member, but was trying to change his life.
“In Chicago, the epidemic of violence is spreading all over the place,” said Ceasefire Illinois director, Tio Hardiman.
The council was founded in 1975 by several suburban Chicago women concerned about handgun violence. The group's goal is to raise public awareness and enact change in laws and behavior.You're really doing a heckova job there ladies.
November 13, 2012
Chicago Teachers Union Forgets The Veterans On Veterans Day
Bronco bamma won:
By Kyle OlsonNSFW:
CHICAGO – On Monday, November 12th (the observed Veterans Day), the Chicago Teachers Union (@CTULocal1) organized a protest, not to honor vets, but to protest school closures. Ironically, all Chicago Public Schools were closed that day to supposedly honor military veterans who served out nation.
Meanwhile, the day before the actual calendar day for Veteran's Day (11th), Teachers Flocked to Northwestern University for 'Marxist Conference'[BigG, Rebel Pundit]
October 30, 2012
White House Refers Hurricane Victims To Internet
It's pretty important to keep up-to-date when the power goes out...
When President Barack Obama urged Americans under siege from Hurricane Sandy to stay inside and keep watch on ready.gov for the latest, he left out something pretty important — where to turn if the electricity goes out.
Despite the heightened expectation of widespread power and cable television failures, everyone from the president to local newscasters seem to expect the public to rely entirely on the Internet and their TVs for vital news and instructions. [...]
A call to FEMA’s news desk, however, found even they didn’t have any non-Internet information readily available beyond suggestions that people call 911 in an emergency. When asked where folks should turn for information if they have no power, a FEMA worker said, “Well, those people who have a laptop with a little battery life on it can try that way. Otherwise, you’re right.”
Yeah, I always keep a battery powered modem and ISP on hand for just such an emergency...
September 17, 2012
Ministry of Irony: Muslim Protester Dies of Smoke Inhalation After Burning US Flag
One of the participants of the rally, Abdullah Ismail, passed away after he was taken to Mayo Hospital. Witnesses said he had complained of feeling unwell from the smoke from US flags burnt at the rally.
September 13, 2012
Ministry of Irony: Obama Snoozes as US Consulate Burns
Thanks to DMartyr.
September 04, 2012
Memory Hole: Obama Was For Sub Prime Mortgage Lending
Daily Caller via Ace: President Barack Obama was a pioneering contributor to the national subprime real estate bubble, and roughly half of the 186 African-American clients in his landmark 1995 mortgage discrimination lawsuit against Citibank have since gone bankrupt or received foreclosure notices.Additional Irony.
As few as 19 of those 186 clients still own homes with clean credit ratings, following a decade in which Obama and other progressives pushed banks to provide mortgages to poor African Americans.
The startling failure rate among Obama’s private sector clients was discovered during The Daily Caller’s review of previously unpublished court information from the lawsuit that a young Obama helmed as the lead plaintiff’s attorney.
Since the mortgage bubble burst, some of his former clients are calling for a policy reversal.Obviously Mr. Buchanan is rayyycyyyst and this is all Bush's fault.
“If you see some people don’t make enough money to afford the mortgage, why would you give them a loan?” asked Obama client John Buchanan. “There should be some type of regulation against giving people loans they can’t afford.”
August 27, 2012
Video: Sufi Mosque Bulldozed in Broad Daylight in Libya
The good news? Some people were arrested for the attack on the Sufi shrine. And the perps were kind enough to video part of the destruction.
The bad news? It was done in broad daylight with no fear of a government response because some of those involved were the very people who's job it was to protect the mosque:
The demolition of the large Sha'ab mosque happened in broad daylight on Saturday, drawing condemnation from government officials and Libyans across the country and abroad.And this isn't an isolated incident. Last week a Sufi library and another Sufi mosque were both attacked by the Salafis.
In Zlitan, witnesses said that an armed group, claiming to be Salafis, carried out the assault on the Sufi shrine, the tomb of Abdel Salam al-Asmar, a 15th-century Muslim scholar....
"What is truly regrettable and suspicious is that some of those who took part in these destruction activities are supposed to be of the security forces and from the revolutionaries," Magariaf told reporters on Saturday night.
Thanks to ST.
July 25, 2012
Cornhole Watch: Anthony Hayne of #Occupy Cleveland Pleads Guilty to All Charges
One of five men charged with plotting to bomb an Ohio highway bridge pleaded guilty Wednesday and agreed to testify against his co-defendants.That's quite ironic given Tony's previous comments about snitches on facebook.
Anthony Hayne, 35, of Cleveland, pleaded to all three counts against him in U.S. District Court. His attorney, Michael O’Shea, said Hayne hopes to get leniency in return for his testimony.
Oh how the mighty have fallen. The charges were as follows. Conspiracy to use a weapon of mass destruction, attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction and conspiracy to destroy property used in interstate commerce.
Thanks to Internet Haganah.
In related news the mother of defendant Connor Stevens wants the FBI's informant or undercover operative dead. Calling him a predator.
The mother of Connor Stevens, one of five Occupy Cleveland members accused of attempting to bomb a Cleveland-area bridge on April 30, called for the death of the FBI informant in the case at a protest this morning. “People are infuriated by sexual predators: put ‘em away, kill ‘em, how dare we have sexual predators! You know what that informant is? A sexual predator, only it’s under the guise of the FBI,” said Gail Stevens, discussing the case with reporters in Akron.Better watch it Ms. Stevens. Now there are two of them.
July 11, 2012
Feminist Journalist Charged With Hate Crime For Trying To Help A Muslim Woman
Bwahahahaha! A liberal undone by liberalism.
She was waiting to pay at the checkout when she noticed a man with two small children also queuing. They were joined by a woman wearing a hijab and a long black tunic who began unloading an overflowing trolley, one item at a time.
She says: 'I glanced over and thought, “This poor woman's going to be there for hours.” Her husband was standing closest to me, so I said to him, “Will you help her?”
'He said, “I've got the children.” I said, “Well, I can help her” and he replied, “What's it to you?” I said, “This is what feminism's about - women helping women.”
He said, “Oh, get lost.” I looked at the woman and said, “We live in a society in Britain where rights are equal - if you need help you can ask for it.” ' [...]
The couple became infuriated. 'The husband came up behind me and said in my ear, “You f*** off,” which I found very intimidating,' Miss Heathcote-Drury says. 'I wanted to get out of the shop as quickly as possible, but he approached me again.'
She called for a security guard and when one arrived, he began speaking to the man. Meanwhile, Miss Heathcote-Drury, who had paid for her shopping, was making her escape down the aisle when she claims she felt a sharp pain in her left shin and stumbled.
'The woman was standing with her hand on her hip and smirking. She wanted to humiliate me. Then she hit me on the left cheek.'
Photographer and feminist Cinnamon Heathcote-Drury was ultimately charged with a hate crime, even though she was the one attacked. The politically correct, multiculturally-sensitive police officers took the Muslim couples accusations as fact, without ever hearing Heathcote-Drury's side of the story.
But I'm not sympathetic. As Warner Todd Houston at Breitbart says:
Her liberal ideology is responsible for giving this Muslim couple no reason at all to adopt her cultural ways. So, why should this Muslim man help his wife, anyway? His culture doesn't allow for that, and this journalist's culture is telling him that his culture is a-okay.
The fact that the Muslim couple then used the weakness in the journalist's own culture to attack her by perverting her so-called "hate crime" laws -- well, that is just too funny.
Liberals made this multicultural, PC bed. Now let them sleep in it.
June 16, 2012
From Each According to His Abilities, To Each According to his Needs. For Everything Else, there’s Marx Card!!!
No, this is not a joke
Here it is folks, and it is not a joke! If you live in Chemnitz, Germany, and bank at the Sparkasse Chemnitz bank, you can get—-a Karl Marx Mastercard!Coming soon to...
Read all about it here, and also here. With yet another irony, the Reuters report is written by a journalist based in Poland named Gareth Jones. A reporter by that same name in the 1930’s was one of the truth-tellers about the Soviet Union....[More...]
June 11, 2012
Madonna Cover's Head During Visit Turkish Mosque
Uncovers Boobie During Istanbul Concert
No word yet on a Fatwa. Go figure.
NSFW video of Madonna's Haram right nipple below the fold.
June 08, 2012
Another Episode in The Continuing Saga of Lindsay Lohan
I'm beginning to think that Lindsay needs 2 a. Wrap herself in bubble wrap permanently, b. hire a driver.
We hope no one was seriously injured.
Update: Lohan is hospitalized there was one passenger in her car which collided with a dump truck.
Update II: Treated and released.
May 22, 2012
Hot Chick's Huge Boobies Too Big to Work for Lingerie Shop
Her boobs are too big to sell bras? WTF?
She was ”too hot” -- to work in a lingerie shop!You thought this story was filed under Ministry of Boobies but no its Ministry of Irony.
A buxom 29-year-old New Jersey woman claims managers at an intimate apparel outfit told her to tape down her breasts, before firing her because she was too sexy for the office.
“It was very shocking, very humiliating,” said Lauren Odes, who filed a complaint against Native Intimates to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.
”It was a crazy experience, unlike anything I’ve ever been through.”
Odes and her lawyer, Gloria Allred, said she spent one humiliating week at the Fifth Avenue garment business in April.
And I'd think she'd be a good selling point, if our bras can hold these..... And also that top button can go doll.
Video below the fold.
May 15, 2012
Obama2012 Attacks Layoffs by Obama Contributor
Its supposed to be an ad attacking Mitt, but the layoffs mentioned in the ad which features in the tank for Obama union labor talking about their oppression were actually laid off by Obama bundler Jonathan Lavine.
Its quite telling how Obama plans to run his campaign, no hope or change, just forward in spite of facts.
And why worry about facts when feelings are more important. If the facts of an ad aren't quite true, the Axe (David Axelrod) can Astroturf new fake facts for you.
May 04, 2012
Obama Enlists Wife-Abuser To Fight GOP's "War On Women"
From the Ministry of WTF?
You can't make this stuff up.
President Obama is slated to use Brown to launch his formal re-election campaign in Columbus, Ohio.
But perhaps Brown isn’t the best person to lead off the Obama campaign – particularly not if the “war on women” is to remain one of Obama’s key campaign themes. Divorce records from Brown’s first marriage, obtained by Breitbart News, show that during the contentious proceedings, his wife accused him of “extreme cruelty” and “harassment”; she said she was “in fear for the safety … of myself and our children,” and accused Sherrod of “physical violence.” In fact, she said, Brown had “struck and bullied me on several different occasions.”
Damn it, he was just showing her how much he loved and respected her! Why can't she get it?
Breitbart also has copies of at least one restraining order against Brown, which is displayed at the bottom of the post.
April 15, 2012
Anonymous Hacker, AnonwOrmer, PWND By These Boobies (Update)
Last week, Higinio O. Ochoa III was charged by the FBI with hacking into US law enforcement agencies and releasing phone numbers and home addresses of police officers. You're looking at the evidence the FBI used to nail him.Oh, the irony:
HOUSTON (CBS Houston) - The evidence that the Federal Bureau of Investigations gathered against an alleged Galveston hacker didn’t come from a techno-chase through the expansive Internet. Instead, the FBI used the information embedded in a photograph of his girlfriend’s breasts.Heh...
Higinio O. Ochoa, 30, is a Linux administrator by day, but by night he’s accused of being part of the group “CabinCr3w,” an affiliate of the hacktivist organization Anonymous.
According to Gizmodo, Ochoa allegedly used the Twitter handle @Anonw0rmer to link to a site boasting personal information on law enforcement officials, along with a picture of a young women in a low-cut shirt that read, “PwNd by w0rmer & CabinCr3w.”[More...]
Update: I've added the complaint below the fold(Scribd):
April 09, 2012
Man Threatened With Death For Having Long Mustache
Of course, we here at The Jawa Report know the real reason this super sized mustache was deemed un-Islamic...
March 03, 2012
Attn: Jihadtube User Jihadtube?
The only thing I dislike more than a Jihadi is a Twoofer.
Funny how those two can exist on the same page. 9/11 was an inside job, next up al-Qaeda propaganda.... Uh? WTF?
February 24, 2012
Ever Seen Disabled People Riot?
Well you have now.....
February 21, 2012
Egyptian Presdential Candidate Predicts Armed War With America Within 3 Months; Compares Jews To Nazis
Biting the hand that feeds them...
So, how's that democracy going for you, Egypt?
(Hat Tip: Jihad Watch)
February 16, 2012
Man Suffers Heart Attack Eating Bypass Burger
a man suffered a heart attack after eating a "triple bypass burger" at the Heart Attack Grill in downtown Las Vegas
February 15, 2012
Arab Spring!!111!!!! Libyans Not Clear on the "Democracy" Concept
This "democracy" thing confuses and frightens your average frozen caveman lawyer. And Libyans:
Just 15% of 2,000 people polled by academics from Benghazi and Oxford universities said democracy should be installed in the next year.So, only 1/3 are willing to try democracy -- five years down the road -- yet 69% of people want a say in how the government is run?
More than 40% backed strong leadership from one person or a group.
However, almost a third of those polled said they would like a democratic government in five years' time.
Despite the majority saying they wanted to see a firm hand in control, 69% also said they believed ordinary citizens should have a say in how Libya develops.
And some 16% of people said they were prepared to resort to violence for political ends.
Visual depiction of the typical Libyan polled (with hat tip).