April 07, 2014

Al Sharpton, FBI Snitch

Al Sharpton was an FBI informant against the mafia.


Read this incredible story at The Smoking Gun.

(Hat Tip: Gateway Pundit)

By DMartyr at 04:02 PM | Comments |

April 03, 2014

'I Hate My Job, I Hate My Job, I Hate My Job...'

New York court stenographers make an average of $25 per hour transcribing courtroom proceedings.

Makes you wonder why a court couldn't also spring for a camcorder...

An alcoholic Manhattan court stenographer went rogue, channeling his inner "Shining" during a high-profile criminal trial and repeatedly typing, "I hate my job, I hate my job" instead of the trial dialogue, sources told The Post.

The bizarre antics by Daniel Kochanski, who has since been fired, wreaked havoc on some 30 Manhattan court cases, sources said, and now officials are scrambling to repair the damage. [...]

Sources said the Manhattan DA's Office arrested Kochanski and forced him to try to make sense of his shorthand typing.

But that effort apparently failed. Judges have been holding "reconstruction hearings" at which everyone involved in a case has to testify about what they remember. (Source)

By DMartyr at 01:41 PM | Comments |

April 01, 2014

Four Senators Attacked By Tiger During Show

WASHINGTON -- Four United States senators are reportedly recovering in Washington-area hospitals today following a shocking and grisly incident Thursday night, when a 480-pound male tiger brutally mauled the elected officials in front of a full audience at the nightly Congressional Exotic Live Tiger Show held in the senate chamber.

"At the time of the incident, [Sen.] Dianne [Feinstein (D-CA)] and I were performing a routine flaming ring jump - a trick we've done hundreds of times during the show's nine-year run - when Marduk, one of our white Bengal tigers, swatted her to the ground and then proceeded to clench her in his teeth and toss her around on the podium for several seconds," said chief congressional tiger-master and two-term Georgia senator Saxby Chambliss, appearing deeply shaken as he explained how the tiger then leapt into the crowd and attacked Sens. Bernie Sanders (I-VT), Carl Levin (D-MI), and Pat Roberts (R-KS), dragging the latter by the neck out to the Capitol rotunda

Read more.

By DMartyr at 02:06 PM | Comments |

March 31, 2014

Karma Is A Bitch

And I love her.

From News.com.au:

But that wasn’t enough punishment for the road rage thug who made headlines around the world last week for falling victim to a beautiful act of karma. Karma struck twice.

At the weekend he was arrested by authorities, Florida television news network WTSP reports. Not only for reckless driving, but for leaving the scene and failing to wear a seatbelt.

You could even say karma struck a third time, because police publicly identified him as Jeffrey White, age 33.

And if you count the fact he is now an international sensation who has been named and shamed as far away as, well, Australia, it’s fair to say karma steamrolled him four times.

By DMartyr at 09:32 PM | Comments |

March 22, 2014

Texas A&M Study Ranks Greatest U.S. Presidents; Obama Comes In 5th

From iOwnTheWorld via IHateTheMedia, here is the complete list of Presidential ranking:

1. Reagan & Lincoln tied for first
2. Seventeen presidents tied for second
3. Twenty three other presidents tied for third
4. Jimmy Carter
5. Obama

By DMartyr at 10:26 AM | Comments |

March 19, 2014

Sacramento Cabdrivers Angry Over New Hygiene Requirements

When I first read this headline, my initial thought was that it must apply to Middle Eastern cabbies. But then I dismissed that notion as me being an Islamophobe...

Ahmid Mahmoud is fired up about the proposed changes.

"We don't have rent to pay? We don't have bills to pay?" he said.

So he's lining up his fellow drivers to take on City Hall.

The city is considering putting stricter rules in place for Sacramento taxi drivers including:

  • - Making sure vehicles are no more than 8 years old,
  • - A dress code of a collared shirt and slacks,
  • - Making it mandatory for all taxis to accept credit cards,
  • - and a new policy requiring drivers to be hygienically clean.

"That's very insulting for me, and for all drivers," Mahmoud said, calling the last requirement unnecessary.

By DMartyr at 11:29 AM | Comments |

March 15, 2014

'Wreck It' Rahm Poetry

Prophets from a Chicago's youth poetry team explains Mayor Rahm Emanuel's influence in the community:

These young people prove there is still hope for Chicagoland.

Transcript below the fold.

Hide Your Schools, Hide Your Homes, Hide Your Children, Cause He's Wrecking it All

Hammer in one hand paint brush in the other
Rahm Emanuel is single handedly destroying our city
Mr. wreck it Rahm
look what Chicago is becoming
bending the rules to fit in the lie of building a new chicago
building new streets
when his own plan got some pot holes

Tearing down our dreams
its getting really windy in these streets
Red X's mark the spots where his wrecking balls are next to drop

We are not included in the Blue Print of the New Chicago: we're being pushed out
our buildings transformed into condos - and we know those AINT FOR US
Thermal shock is setting in from the whipping wind of the heartless sins
of the mayor

Norfolk Railroads is pushing us southern folk out
Homes replaced with tracks
that will be laid
where our heads used to
If dry wall could talk
it would speak many prayers to keep our homes
now vacant lots that hold lots of remnants
of 60 years of backyard barbeques
baby showers
and when electric sliding was the super power of the summer
55th and Normal
we are losing all of this

Torturing, tormenting us as we choke on the ashes of our memories
*Cough Cough*
Let's hope we don't get sick
Because he's closing all our clinics
He needs to get treated
And then maybe we can sew back on the other half of the middle finger
that he has been giving us

Its almost as if he's E Manuel of E-Limination

Step one: Take away our schools
Step Two: Put them out their home
Lastly: Destroy it all and
Deny Deny Deny
But remember, to always keep a straight face when you lie!

Try to pour the cheap paint over our eyes while stealing dollars from under our mattresses
There's not enough? Close their schools
But he's building a new DePaul stadium
Using our TIF funds to Transform the South Loop into the Promised Land of redevelopment
and some river walk
of course downtown
The paint is starting to streak.
Building a new Chicago or extending a new lie!
How can a city so in debt blueprint something so expensive?

Banneker Elementary - Closed
Woods Elementary - Closed
Yale Elementary - Closed

The paint is cracking:
From every west side basketball brotherhood
To south side sisterhood bonds through pom-poms
And every poetry team that had dreamed of being on this very stage
has been ripped apart,

Bad foundation for our future generations
struggling with 40 students in one class
so they learn from the streets
There's not money for our schools, but, there's enough to build a New Chicago
But that New Chicago is NOT for us.
The paint is wearing thin and so was our patience
Irreparable damage has already been done

Time to stop the destruction of OUR city
Prevent the further corruption of our already twisted politics of Chicago

25% of Chicago school children won't amount to anything
100% sure that we will be something
See Rahm we are mathematicians
your lies are adding up
and this new Chicago is just another one of them

By DMartyr at 01:50 PM | Comments |

February 20, 2014

This IS the Droid We're Looking For!


The Redheads are taking over!


Hat Tip: Thanks to the Redhead Obsessed Subculture Solidarity.

Oh My! Below the fold.


But remember this warning, they may be pretty but they have no soul.

By Howie at 08:51 AM | Comments |

February 13, 2014

Where's Rusty?

Your Powahs are weak Master.

Caption Rusty's lament about no real light sabers yet ,his complete and utter inability to Use the Force and/or his homosexuality. Fatwas will be issued.

Update: No Fatwas! Grade: Incomplete....

By Howie at 08:40 AM | Comments |

January 30, 2014

Ministry of Jiggly: Olympic Edition

Should this not be an Olympic Winter Sport in Sochi 2014?

Make it happen Jawas.

By Howie at 09:20 AM | Comments |

January 29, 2014

NY1 Interview With Michael Grimm (R-NY) Goes Horribly Right


Staten Island Rep. Michael Grimm physically threatened NY1 political reporter Michael Scotto at the conclusion of an interview in the Capitol Rotunda following Tuesday night's State of the Union address.


Watch Michael Scotto’s report on the incident.

Grimm's threats came at the end of a brief interview in which he discussed the president's speech, calling the address "divisive."
Scotto then tried to ask the congressman about the ongoing federal investigation into his 2010 campaign fundraising:

"And just finally before we let you go, we haven't had a chance to talk about some of the..." Scotto began before Grimm cut him off.

That's the same thing Vinnie says to Rusty right before they um, you know, disappear into the bowels of the Sandcrawler.

By Howie at 09:58 AM | Comments |

January 27, 2014

Beyoncé's Labia Makes Grammy History

Papa don't preach, because when a woman's labia hangs out of her leather g-string it shows her empowerment.

Beyoncé's Grammy Awards performance was slammed by concerned parents on Sunday as they deemed the incredibly risqué routine too explicit for children to watch.

The 32-year-old singer wore a revealing black thong bodysuit over fishnet tights to perform a rendition of her hit Drunk In Love alongside husband Jay Z at the Staples Center in downtown Los Angeles.

However Beyoncé's sexy dance routine, which aired at 8pm on both coasts and at 7pm central time, left many furious parents posting comments on social media that the performance was 'disrespectful' and entirely inappropriate for children to watch.

Reminds me of that old joke, Two people meet inside Beyoncé's vagina.

The second asks the first of he has a flashlight so they can find their way out.

The first guy replies, "If we had a flashlight, we'd find my keys and drive out of here!"

Update By request Beyoncé's natch moved below the fold.


By Howie at 11:51 AM | Comments |

January 06, 2014

Tom Hanks, Still Alive

Just FYI, in case you are hearing he isn't. Some people at twitter haven't figured it out yet.


By DMartyr at 02:47 PM | Comments |

December 17, 2013

He's Da Champ! (Update Fatwas Issued)


The sign language interpreter widely ridiculed for his performance at the Nelson Mandela memorial stands by his work.

Thamsanqa Jantjie said Thursday that he is a fully qualified interpreter and has been trusted in the past with other big events.

"It has been many years I have been doing this job" he told CNN. "My portfolio shows that I have been a champion of what I have been doing."

So he seems pretty confident? I wonder how he got into this line of charades?
He said he had been drawn to the job of interpreting because he was disabled.

"I am suffering from schizophrenia, which is controllable. I am under treatment," Jantjie said.

See his interpretations are not wrong its just that everyone else's interpretations of his interpretations are wrong.


Caption contest? I'm just dying to issue a Fatwa.

Update: Fatwas issued!

The Why U insult Holly Koran Fatwa issued against Kafiroon for...

Here's a little shout-out to my homies the Crips!
The Devil Will Do Meetballs From Ur Body Fatwa Issued against Catseye for...
Inexplicably, during President Obama’s speech, Mr. Jantjie kept using the South African sign for “Bullsh!t
And the Our Jihad Will Be Complete Once We Rape Your Women Fatwa issued against myself for...
You wanted the best, you got the best.

The hottest band in the world!


By Howie at 08:52 AM | Comments |

December 05, 2013

NY Councilwoman: "Knock-Out" Game Is Da Joos Fault

The Joos are just too successful. That makes blacks resentful, according to soon-to-be Councilwoman Laurie Cumbo:

CROWN HEIGHTS — The alleged "knockout" attacks on Jewish residents of Crown Heights may stem from ongoing racial tension between the neighborhood's black and Jewish communities, a newly-elected Brooklyn politician said.

Councilwoman-elect Laurie Cumbo, who was elected to represent Crown Heights starting in January, released an open letter Tuesday saying that many of her black constituents told her they feel threatened by the growth of the neighborhood's Jewish community -- and she fears the tension could be spiking the recent violence. [...]

"I respect and appreciate the Jewish community's family values and unity that has led to strong political, economic and cultural gains. While I personally regard this level of tenacity, I also recognize that for others, the accomplishments of the Jewish community triggers feelings of resentment, and a sense that Jewish success is not also their success."

There's that sense of unearned entitlement of an Obama supporter.

(Hat Tip: Gateway Pundit)

UPDATE: Apparently, there are some resentful young blacks at Yale University.

Damn Joos.

By DMartyr at 12:40 PM | Comments |

November 08, 2013

Then Rob Ford Started Jumping Up And Down Yelling KIll! Kill! Kill!

Well maybe "jumping up and down" isn't really a proper description when talking about the gravitationally challenged, but the rest is pretty accurate.

Um, Strong language in video

And also drugs are bad, Mkayy!

By Howie at 10:11 AM | Comments |

October 25, 2013

New Jawa Feature! Who's Behind it?

The answer of course is always The Joooos!

Also at this weeks Super Sekrit Zionist Planning Barbecue we'll be serving Palestinian Baby Back Ribs. Mmmmmm! Mmmm!

By Howie at 08:25 AM | Comments |

October 18, 2013


Its only appropriate that I link to the Daily Beast: for this story, no?

The husband of the 48-year-old woman who is now the most famous stenographer in America knew his wife had been getting up in the middle of the night for the past four weeks.

But he did not know why until after the Capitol Police had hustled her from the podium at the House of Representatives to a hospital for psychiatric observation.

Only then did Dianne Foster Reidy tell 54-year-old Dan Reidy that she had been repeatedly awakened by the Holy Spirit and urged to deliver a message on the House floor, where she has worked for the past eight years.

I queried Zionist Central for a statement and the response is as follows...

Shut up kid!
So I'll be, you know, shutting up now.

By Howie at 09:13 AM | Comments |

October 05, 2013

Bikers Versus SUV (Updated: New Images Added)

Scroll down for update.

A continuation and update to THIS post and THIS post.

There is a lot of misinformation coming out about biker attack in New York last week, much of it from the media. (Click the links above if you don't know which I mean.) In this post I want to address the claim that Alexian Lien knocked a rider over and that the most seriously injured biker, Jay Mieses, was only stopping to help a fellow rider.

The original video is at the bottom of this post. After viewing each of the still frames below and reading my commentary, you will have a much better understanding about what is happening in the video and how some are misrepresenting the incident. You can click the image to enlarge in a new window.

At the start of the video, one thing you should note is that Lien's Range Rover is ahead of the motorcycles. Maybe not all of them, but ahead of the main group. This is important because many bikers are claiming Lien drove through their group from behind. They claim he was speeding and driving recklessly, which is why they wanted him to stop.


Here at the beginning, we see several bikers approaching Mr. Lien's Range Rover. One biker identified as Christopher Cruz pushes into Lien's lane. Lien allows him to enter in front of him.


Cruz accelerates widening the gap behind himself and Lien's SUV. Cruz looks back then applies his brakes. (You can see the brake light come on in the video, especially when in full screen.) The bike abruptly slows.


Lien is, no doubt, checking all the bikes now crowding around his vehicle. He brakes quickly, but not fast enough. The SUV apparently makes light contact with the bike's rear wheel. The entire time, Cruz is looking back at the SUV.


Cruz apparently doesn't know the SUV touched him. It is possible no contact was ever made! Cruz continues riding for a moment. Lien slows to a stop. The other bikers begin slowing down and looking back, and so does Cruz.


Now Cruz, reportedly injured with two broken legs, begins "walking" his bike back to the SUV. (That is, he remains straddling the bike while rolling backward using his feet to push.)


As Cruz makes his way back to the SUV, other bikers stop and begin dismounting their bikes. Jay Mieses is one of those bikers.


Cruz has reached the SUV. He gets off his bike and approaches the driver's side door. Mieses walks toward the SUV as well. His family is claiming he stopped to help an injured biker, but up until this point, no bikers have been injured and none are in need of help. Notice how many bikers are stopping around the SUV.


Note the time on this still frame, because when you watch the video, you can see Cruz take a swing at the door or the window of the SUV. (You may need to watch in full screen to see it.) Other bikers have surrounded the Range Rover. At least one tire has been slashed. Mieses is one of many in standing in front of the vehicle.

Feeling threatened and concerned about the safety of his family, Alexian Lien decides to flee the situation. Jay Mieses is run down and seriously wounded. He is not helping anyone, he is not offering aid to anyone, he is blocking Lien's SUV.

I hope these still frames make it a little easier to understand exactly what happened. There is a lot of misinformation out there, even by experienced journalists.



Many thanks to "AM" for emailing these stills from the video. This happens around 2:47 in the video. What you are seeing in the images below is the shredded remains of the SUV tire that was slashed during the initial confrontation.

The motorcycle rider recording the video seems to notice and gestures to the bikers behind him. (That's his gloved hand in the upper right of the second image.)




Click on the images to enlarge in a new window.

By DMartyr at 06:31 PM | Comments |

October 02, 2013

Biden Shows Press Classified Documents

I think the real story is that Joe Biden is allowed anywhere near classified documents...


By DMartyr at 10:35 AM | Comments |

September 22, 2013

Impotent Rage

A cartoon is included with the new game Grand Theft Auto V. It features the superhero Impotent Rage. Enjoy:

(Hat Tip: Gateway Pundit)

By DMartyr at 04:03 PM | Comments |

August 27, 2013

Russian Official: West Is Like A 'Monkey With Hand Grenade'

No one in the West could have gotten away with using this analogy without being branded a racist.

MOSCOW, August 27 (RIA Novosti) -- A firebrand Russian nationalist-turned-senior official said Tuesday that the West was acting in the Islamic world like a "monkey with a hand grenade." [...]

The United States may launch missile strikes against the embattled regime of Syrian President Bashar Assad as early as Thursday, NBC reported Tuesday.

Official Washington, as well as Britain, France and Turkey, is considering an attack on Assad's forces over allegations -- which Russia calls unproven -- that the Syrian government, locked in a fight against a domestic insurgency since 2011, used chemical weapons against civilians in rebel-controlled areas.

I couldn't find a video of a monkey with a hand grenade. But I found this:

By DMartyr at 12:19 PM | Comments |

Democratic Survival Kit: A Handgun, Brass Knuckles, And Voter Registration Card

He brought his voter registration, but I guess he left his race card at home this time (emphasis mine):

Jorge DelaPaz was arrested on charges of assault in the third degree of an elderly person, carrying a dangerous weapon, carrying a pistol without a permit, criminal posession of a pistol and interfering with police.

Police say on Sunday, the elder New Haven man was eating a hamburger in the Goffe Street Park following a Toni Harp mayoral campaign-sponsored event that afternoon when he was approached by DelaPaz. Police say DelaPaz told the elder white male that he shouldn’t be "in his park where young black kids are playing." When the man refused an order from DelaPaz to pick up a football, DelaPaz punched the man multiple times in the face, knocking him to the ground, police say. Several witnesses supported the victim's account of the unprovoked attack, police say.

Upon police arriving at the scene at around 3:40 p.m., DelaPaz fled the scene on foot. When he was apprehended, police say he resisted and injured the leg of a responding officer. Police detained DelaPaz and say they found a Sig Sauer P239 handgun, a set of brass knuckles and a voter registration card in his bookbag.

By DMartyr at 10:59 AM | Comments |

August 23, 2013

Chuck Gets the Cold Shoulder

General? General?

Filed under Ministry of Snark.

By Howie at 09:28 AM | Comments |

August 20, 2013

Puffer Fish Builds A Bachelor Pad

Origins of the mysterious ocean "crop circles" solved.

By DMartyr at 11:13 AM | Comments |

August 13, 2013

Sandcrawler PSA: You Must Choose

To read this post:

In an exclusive interview by Newsbusted anchor Jodie Miller (see video below) we learn the reason for Obama's mistake. According to the POTUS the source of his faux pas was that he cannot see Mexico from his golf cart

Please make sure you watch the video below because something bad always happens to the people who don't.

Save yourself, read Yid With Lid.

By Howie at 08:34 AM | Comments |

August 12, 2013

God Hates Being Lonely

By Howie at 08:14 AM | Comments |

August 07, 2013

Can You Hear Me Now?


A Verizon worker had to call for help after being locked in an underground storage vault:

WESTBOROUGH (CBS) – Police say the owner of a Westborough storage facility took his anger out on a Verizon worker by locking him up.

Every second counted for Mike Hathaway who was sealed in an underground vault running out of air, and police say it was no accident. The victim was trapped when another man allegedly slammed the door. [...]

Hathaway called 911 from the vault and was eventually freed by a police officer.

Fortunately the signal was strong enough to call for help. No mention of what service the Verizon worker used. That lacking detail could be the obvious or it could be to avoid embarrassment.

By DMartyr at 01:02 PM | Comments |

July 23, 2013

World's Easiest Quiz

Or is it?

Questions below the fold. See how many you can answer correctly without looking up the answers.

  1. How long did the Hundred Years War last?
  2. Which country makes Panama hats?
  3. From which animal do we get catgut?
  4. In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
  5. What is a camel's hair brush made of?
  6. The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
  7. What was King George VI's first name?
  8. What color is a purple finch?
  9. What country do Chinese gooseberries come from?
  10. How long did the Thirty Years War last?

Bonus question:

  • As I was going to St Ives
  • I met a man with seven wives
  • Every wife had seven sacks
  • Every sack had seven cats
  • Every cat had seven kittens
  • Kittens, cats, sacks, and wives
  • How many were going to St Ives?

I'm not providing the answers. You can easily look them up after taking the quiz. Just please don't spoil it for others in comments.

By DMartyr at 10:59 AM | Comments |

July 09, 2013

Tough Crowd

MC Daleste aka Daniel Pellegrine shot on stage.

(insert snarky comment about Hip Hop here)

By Howie at 11:38 AM | Comments |

June 27, 2013

Ministry of Jiggly: Death Star Edition

Hat Tip: Rsluty.

By Howie at 02:13 PM | Comments |

June 20, 2013

James Gandolfini's Wounded Warrior Legacy

This is an older report, but it shows what a great person James Gandolfini was.

The documentary is on Youtube. You can view part 1 HERE. The other parts are in the sidebar by the video.

By DMartyr at 01:33 PM | Comments |

May 29, 2013

The Ghey?

(Hat Tip: IHateTheMedia)

Rense.com asks "Is Obama Gay?"

I've used a few of their pictures here, but also included a couple of my own.

The first sign you might be gay, is your wife looks more manly than you do:


Another sign is if you throw like a girl:


Do you flaunt and giggle?


Do you sit "pretty"?


Do you like to snuggle close to male friends?


...and hold hands while gazing into each others' eyes?


Is your wrist limp?


Do you enjoy eating provocatively in public view?


These are all signs but are not conclusive.

Remember, gay or not, you are the best you you can be!

By DMartyr at 10:49 AM | Comments |

May 21, 2013

Kuffars Do It Naked

A Saudi woman has climbed a mountain after years of rigorous training:

A Saudi woman, Raha Muharraq, on Saturday reached the summit of Everest, the world's highest peak, in a first for the conservative Muslim kingdom where women's sports are severely restricted, her proud father said.

A naked Colorado woman climbed a mountain after a bad mushroom trip:

The college student, 21, had to be rescued yesterday afternoon off a Colorado mountain after she ingested mushrooms, stripped off her clothes, and scuffled with two classmates with whom she had been hiking.

I guess this goes to show, the real feat is not climbing a mountain. The real feat is getting off the mountain...

By DMartyr at 12:04 PM | Comments |

April 21, 2013

Sandcrawler PSA: Don't Die A Virgin


By DMartyr at 09:19 AM | Comments |

April 09, 2013

Sic Balls!

No Trespassing is enforced by Kim Jong Un, the current dictator, and his dog Chopper. The most feared and least seen dog in North Korea. Legend has it that Kim has trained Chopper not just to sic, but to sic specific parts of the human anatomy. Thus a spy who has illegally scaled the North Korean border fence might hear the dread cry: "Chopper, sic bawrs!!"

Also, at 1:00, a brief lesson on holding a handgun if you are one of those people who like to wave your hands around while you talk.

By DMartyr at 12:59 PM | Comments |

April 04, 2013

Boobies Against Islamists

Coming to a Mosque or Tunisian embassy near you.

BERLIN: Bare-breasted activists staged rallies in front of mosques and Tunisian embassies across Europe Thursday against what they called an Islamist crackdown on Arab women's rights.

A Femen activist burns a Salafist flag in front of the Great Mosque of Paris, on April 3, 2013.

"And we'll fight against them. And our boobs will be stronger than their stones."

The rallies targeted in particular the case of a Tunisian activist calling herself Amina Tyler who sparked a scandal last month when she posted pictures of herself online with the words "My body belongs to me" and "Fuck your morals" emblazoned across her naked breasts.

Probably NSFW in boobie fearing America.

Why u insult holly banner of Islam?

Previous: 'Quarantine Her"! Says Tunisian Islamist Regarding FEMEN Aminia's Topless Photo.
Arab Spring! Introducing Femen Tunisia

More Fatwa seeking boobies below the fold.

By Howie at 10:41 AM | Comments |