September 16, 2014
And Now Jawa Report Introduces... Bridge Porn!
You've never heard of Bridge Porn have you?
September 14, 2014
Joan Rivers Banned Michelle Obama From Funeral
Of course, the Obamas would never waste time attending the funerals of soldiers, Jews, or patriots anyway.
Actress, writer, producer and television host Joan Rivers made a list of people that she did not want to attend her funeral before she passed on Sept. 4. That list included first lady Michelle Obama.
In an interview with the The Sunday Times Magazine, Rivers said did she did not want Obama at her funeral and labeled her a "tranny."
This is not the first time Rivers has made negative comments about Obama. At a signing for her new book Diary of a Mad Diva at a Barnes & Noble in New York City, a reporter asked Rivers what she thought about possibly having a first gay president. Rivers replied by saying, "We already have it with Obama, so let's just calm down. You know Michelle is a tranny." (Source)
September 11, 2014
Richard Kiel is best known for his role as "Jaws," a villain in the James Bond movie The Spy Who Loved Me. Richard was 74.
September 04, 2014
Rest In Peace Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has died, as you recall she stopped breathing during an endoscopy last week. One tweet I read said at the time, "At least she died doing something she loved." A joke I'm sure Joan would have appreciated.
Comedian and entertainer Joan Rivers died on Thursday at the age of 81.
"My mother's greatest joy in life was to make people laugh. Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon," her daughter Melissa said in a statement.
On Tuesday, the family confirmed she was on life support at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan after going into cardiac arrest last Thursday.
August 15, 2014
Firing Comcast Harder Than You Think
I have a headache, glad when I fired them I had a good excuse handy and a note from my mommy. And also their internet sucked unless you let them rape you for it.
Recently, a now-former Comcast customer called to disconnect his family’s service for reasons that are frankly none of anyone’s business. What followed was a nightmarish descent into the bowels of salesperson Hell.
August 11, 2014
Sigh, Robin Williams RIP
Robin Williams apparently killed himself today.
In addition to his hilarity, he was a huge supporter of the troops.
UPDATE By DMartyr: Retreat? Not Robin.
UPDATE II By DMartyr: Robin Williams on 'jihad':
More Robin Williams. Irish raccoons... Hahaha!
August 07, 2014
Hypocrisy Over Gaza
Pat Condell, once again, nails it.
August 06, 2014
Did Space Aliens Start Fires Near SETI?
Are fires near SETI Institute's Allen Telescope Array intentionally set by Space Aliens in order to prevent SETI from detecting their presence?
Wildfires raging in Northern California briefly halted the search for extraterrestrial life on Tuesday.*Just asking questions people, just asking questions.
The Eiler Fire, burning some 200 miles north of Sacramento, forced employees at the SETI Institute's Allen Telescope Array to evacuate and temporarily shut down all of their computers, Internet and power.
"We can't listen when all that is down," said Seth Shostak, senior astronomer and director of SETI Research.
At SETI -- which stands for Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence -- scientists search the heavens for signs of extraterrestrial life by "listening" with an array of small satellite dishes.
The blaze came within a mile of the facility, located near Hat Creek, California, on both the east and west, according to Shostak.
"The fire on the west had jumped the road, burnt down our favorite lunch place, got within a mile of the telescopes," he said. As the flames got closer, the staff fled to safer ground and shut down the satellites.
I mean its a plausible that none of the fires, not a single one, zero, zilch where started by a Jihadi reading the last issue on Inspire on the Matchbox Jihad that the press won't tell you about. Is it not?
August 04, 2014
Google Removed Bomb Gaza App
Because, you know. CAIR/Hamas.
Bomb terrorists/avoid civilians. Seems harmless enough.
Although by the time I found out it existed Google had removed the app.
But there's still plenty of apps that don't cause offense. Like the ones supporting Hamas or where the game involves bombing Jooooos!
Or the latest news from the specially designated terrorist entity known as Hamas.
There's even an app for Palestinian Islamic Jihad, who's Egyptian branch founded al-Qaeda.
Personally if you're doing your bombing on the small screen I call that a appropriate outlet for your frustrations. Lord knows how many Space Bastards I've killed.
July 30, 2014
Wonder Woman Actress Gets 189,560 Likes For "Hamas , who are hiding like cowards behind women and children"
Predictably Muslims are totally outraged, because they should be able to post all kinds of murder and mayhem on social media, but if you criticize them, why you might get a Fatwa.
Gal Gadot, a former Miss Israel who plays Wonder Woman in the upcoming “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice,” has caused a stir on social media after positing comments bashing Hamas, describing them as “cowards,” in the latest case of a celebrity wading in on the ongoing offensive against Gaza.My God what a Wonderous Woman.
“I see you Zionist turds are getting a little desperate with your social media war going to desperate lengths to sway the public into empathising with you,” one user commented on her Facebook post.
“Israeli risking their lives??? Lol did see the death poll Israeli vs Palestine ? To kill the so called Hamas your Isreal is killing innocent CHILDREN!!!! And WOMEN!!!!!” another user wrote.
“Zionist Israeli army is the biggest terrorist organization!
click for larger
And here I was still hung up on Lynda Carter.
Come to think of it I might not be quite ready to give up my Lynda Carter obsession quite yet. I think I have room for both.
July 23, 2014
Fight Breaks Out in Ukraine Parliament
And who says politics isn't entertaining.
July 22, 2014
That's The Way You Do it
After Selena Gomez‘s Instagram feed became rife with comments debating about the humanity of Israel’s attacks on Gaza, the singer posted a follow-up photo to let her fans know what she’s really thinking.The article goes on to mention several other celebrities who are "under fire" for supporting Hamas and the Palestinians in Gaza.
“And of course to be clear, I am not picking any sides. I am praying for peace and humanity for all!” she captioned a photo of a serene seaside sunset.
Under fire? I don't think MTV knows quite what that means.
If this is what it takes for Selena to make the news these days, she should just go ahead and go full crackwhore.
July 17, 2014
Kihnspiracy Theory of the Day
Yeah yeah, Jahar is innocent and ... OMG! Not Juice Boxes!
Someone get me Alex Jones, STAT!
Of course you know who's really behind this.
July 16, 2014
Stuff To Read: Wicked Game by Matt Johnson
Matt is in the UK and bought and owns a Harley. So that's good for America!
"imagine a book with the realism of Ryan & Baldacci with the story telling of Child and Patterson" recent reviews for http://t.co/wAwxkx6ZMe— Matt Johnson (@Matt_Johnson_UK) April 18, 2014
Love America, get a free post. See how this works?
July 14, 2014
Jawa Promotion: Act of War!
Yeah, so I didn't blog much today. So ya'll need something to read?
July 10, 2014
Sandcrawler PSA: Absolute Proof That Han Shot First!
Download it now before the Illuminati and the Mossad can hide the truth!
July 02, 2014
Heartbreak! DNA Analysis = No Bigfoot
DNA testing is taking a bite out of the Bigfoot legend. After scientists analyzed more than 30 hair samples reportedly left behind by Bigfoot and similar mythical beasts like the Himalayan Yeti, they found all of them came from more mundane creatures like bears, wolves, cows and raccoons.Ya'll stop crushing Mexican Rusty's dreams!
In 2012, researchers at Oxford University and the Lausanne Museum of Zoology issued an open call asking museums, scientists and Bigfoot aficionados to share any samples they thought were from the legendary ape-like creatures.
...Sykes and colleagues tested 36 hair samples from Bhutan, India, Indonesia, Nepal, Russia and the U.S. using DNA sequencing and all of them matched DNA from known animals. Most were from bears, but there were also hairs from a Malaysian tapir, horses, porcupine, deer, sheep, and a human.
June 20, 2014
Praise Allah! The Goats Are Safe!
Speaking to Radio Dabanga, an eyewitness reported that citizens formed a local rescue team after a number of goats were stolen near El Goura. The rescue team followed the thieves, and clashed with them. In the ensuing firefight one member of the rescue team was killed, and two of the thieves. Three team members sustained injuries.
The rescue team managed to recover the stolen goats.
June 19, 2014
Muslim Cleric Offended by Commercialization of Ramadan
Muslims, they are a lot more like us than you think.
Daily Star:Grand Mufti Sheikh Mohammad Rashid Qabbani condemned marketing propaganda for “creating deplorable links between Ramadan and recent entertainment programs,” in a statement Thursday.Ramadan, its like Christmas that starts in June and lasts all summer long. I hope it doesn't get in the way of all those Christmas in July car sales. What's next Sears' Eid White Sale?
“[The links] offended religious feeling and distorted the image of Ramadan, which occupies a high position of respect for Muslims,” said Qabbani, who opposed using religious occasions to promote media content.
According to the grand mufti, promotions across television and radio stations obliterate pure spirituality and transform Ramadan into a month of entertainment.
Ramadan 2014 begins in the evening ofIn participating locations only. ;-)
Saturday, June 28
and ends in the evening of
Monday, July 28
Dates may vary.
June 18, 2014
Celebrating Five Years of Downfall Parodies
Hey, obviously you didn't have anything better to do.
June 16, 2014
But would you do it for a Scoobie Snack?
Uh huh, Uh huh.
June 13, 2014
She Grew Up Tall
Seriously if you've ever been to Indiana, say around Washington there is something the water. Something that makes hot chicks with small waists and big breasts. With just the right amount of soft.
Last time I was there, like to broke my neck.
June 03, 2014
Yet Another Kill Da White People Reprise!
Ya we gonna make them pay.....
The Smoking Gun:Lashonda Lee Williams was arrested for assault.
The 43-year-old Williams... ... was asked by another female passenger to “turn off her cell phone due to the aircraft being in flight,” according to a court affidavit. In reply, Williams allegedly said, “I kill white people like you.”
After being booked into the Davidson County jail, Williams was released on $3000 bond. She is scheduled for a June 25 County Court appearance.
Sing it with me! Kill da white people! Da da dah duh da! But buy my record first!
Hat Tip: Drudge.
May 30, 2014
California Taxpayers Send University Professors To Meet Terrorists
Why am I not surprised?
San Francisco State University (SFSU) spent more than $7,000 to send two of its professors to the Middle East for a series of meetings with two convicted terrorists, according to funding documents obtained from a California Public Records Act.
SFSU professors Rabab Abdulhadi and Joanne Barker were awarded the money by the university for a trip to Jordan and the West Bank where they met with two notorious terrorists tied to Hamas and the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP), both of which are designated as terrorist groups by the U.S. State Department. (Source)
May 28, 2014
50 Cent Throws Out First Pitch At NY Mets Game (I Guess You Can Call it A Throw)
Tara the cat can relax. Her 'worst throw evah!' record lasted less than a week.
May 22, 2014
Bulls 3, Matadors 0
MADRID (AP) - Spanish bulls have scored a symbolic victory at Madrid's prestigious Las Ventas ring by injuring three matadors and forcing organizers to call off the bullfight.
The fight, the 12th of the famed San Isidro festival, was stopped late Tuesday after bulls gored two matadors and tossed a third into the air.
Las Ventas said it was the first time in 35 years a fight was stopped at the ring because of matador injuries.
Just to keep it fair, the bulls should have been allowed to kill the matadors.
Bull fighting is a cruel, sadistic "sport." The animals are maimed and mutilated before the match to give the matador an advantage. After exhausting the bull, the matadors will repeatedly stab it until it bleeds to death.
(Update: Link added.)
May 14, 2014
(A little graphic. The boy's wounds are shown near end.)
(Hat Tip: Gateway Pundit)
May 11, 2014
Magnify The Universe
Works best in full screen.
Copyright 2012. Magnifying the Universe by Number Sleuth.
May 08, 2014
Blazing Saddles Turns 40
Blazing Saddles is probably the best comedy ever made. Mel Brooks is an absolute comedic genius. The movie made us laugh at racism at a time when America was overcoming its racist attitudes.
No one could get away with doing a similar movie today. The PC crowd is just too stringent and humorless. If you haven't seen it, go treat yourself now. Rent it or stream it. Or better yet, buy it. You can usually find it in the DVD bargain bins at Wal-mart.
April 18, 2014
The Walking Dead
The entire series in under 3 minutes!
Zombie trivia: Did you know The Walking Dead is the adult version of The Toy Story? It's true!
April 07, 2014
Al Sharpton, FBI Snitch
Al Sharpton was an FBI informant against the mafia.
Read this incredible story at The Smoking Gun.
(Hat Tip: Gateway Pundit)
Cow Tipping Craze Reaches San Francisco
But what do you tip if there are no cows?
(Hat Tip: IHateTheMedia)
April 03, 2014
'I Hate My Job, I Hate My Job, I Hate My Job...'
New York court stenographers make an average of $25 per hour transcribing courtroom proceedings.
Makes you wonder why a court couldn't also spring for a camcorder...
An alcoholic Manhattan court stenographer went rogue, channeling his inner "Shining" during a high-profile criminal trial and repeatedly typing, "I hate my job, I hate my job" instead of the trial dialogue, sources told The Post.
The bizarre antics by Daniel Kochanski, who has since been fired, wreaked havoc on some 30 Manhattan court cases, sources said, and now officials are scrambling to repair the damage. [...]
Sources said the Manhattan DA's Office arrested Kochanski and forced him to try to make sense of his shorthand typing.
But that effort apparently failed. Judges have been holding "reconstruction hearings" at which everyone involved in a case has to testify about what they remember. (Source)
April 01, 2014
Four Senators Attacked By Tiger During Show
WASHINGTON -- Four United States senators are reportedly recovering in Washington-area hospitals today following a shocking and grisly incident Thursday night, when a 480-pound male tiger brutally mauled the elected officials in front of a full audience at the nightly Congressional Exotic Live Tiger Show held in the senate chamber.
"At the time of the incident, [Sen.] Dianne [Feinstein (D-CA)] and I were performing a routine flaming ring jump - a trick we've done hundreds of times during the show's nine-year run - when Marduk, one of our white Bengal tigers, swatted her to the ground and then proceeded to clench her in his teeth and toss her around on the podium for several seconds," said chief congressional tiger-master and two-term Georgia senator Saxby Chambliss, appearing deeply shaken as he explained how the tiger then leapt into the crowd and attacked Sens. Bernie Sanders (I-VT), Carl Levin (D-MI), and Pat Roberts (R-KS), dragging the latter by the neck out to the Capitol rotunda
March 31, 2014
Karma Is A Bitch
And I love her.
But that wasn’t enough punishment for the road rage thug who made headlines around the world last week for falling victim to a beautiful act of karma. Karma struck twice.
At the weekend he was arrested by authorities, Florida television news network WTSP reports. Not only for reckless driving, but for leaving the scene and failing to wear a seatbelt.
You could even say karma struck a third time, because police publicly identified him as Jeffrey White, age 33.
And if you count the fact he is now an international sensation who has been named and shamed as far away as, well, Australia, it’s fair to say karma steamrolled him four times.
March 22, 2014
Texas A&M Study Ranks Greatest U.S. Presidents; Obama Comes In 5th
1. Reagan & Lincoln tied for first
2. Seventeen presidents tied for second
3. Twenty three other presidents tied for third
4. Jimmy Carter
March 19, 2014
Sacramento Cabdrivers Angry Over New Hygiene Requirements
When I first read this headline, my initial thought was that it must apply to Middle Eastern cabbies. But then I dismissed that notion as me being an Islamophobe...
Ahmid Mahmoud is fired up about the proposed changes.
"We don't have rent to pay? We don't have bills to pay?" he said.
So he's lining up his fellow drivers to take on City Hall.
The city is considering putting stricter rules in place for Sacramento taxi drivers including:
- - Making sure vehicles are no more than 8 years old,
- - A dress code of a collared shirt and slacks,
- - Making it mandatory for all taxis to accept credit cards,
- - and a new policy requiring drivers to be hygienically clean.
"That's very insulting for me, and for all drivers," Mahmoud said, calling the last requirement unnecessary.
March 15, 2014
'Wreck It' Rahm Poetry
Prophets from a Chicago's youth poetry team explains Mayor Rahm Emanuel's influence in the community:
These young people prove there is still hope for Chicagoland.
Transcript below the fold.
Hide Your Schools, Hide Your Homes, Hide Your Children, Cause He's Wrecking it All
Hammer in one hand paint brush in the other
Rahm Emanuel is single handedly destroying our city
Mr. wreck it Rahm
look what Chicago is becoming
bending the rules to fit in the lie of building a new chicago
building new streets
when his own plan got some pot holes
Tearing down our dreams
its getting really windy in these streets
Red X's mark the spots where his wrecking balls are next to drop
We are not included in the Blue Print of the New Chicago: we're being pushed out
our buildings transformed into condos - and we know those AINT FOR US
Thermal shock is setting in from the whipping wind of the heartless sins
of the mayor
Norfolk Railroads is pushing us southern folk out
Homes replaced with tracks
that will be laid
where our heads used to
If dry wall could talk
it would speak many prayers to keep our homes
now vacant lots that hold lots of remnants
of 60 years of backyard barbeques
and when electric sliding was the super power of the summer
55th and Normal
we are losing all of this
Torturing, tormenting us as we choke on the ashes of our memories
Let's hope we don't get sick
Because he's closing all our clinics
He needs to get treated
And then maybe we can sew back on the other half of the middle finger
that he has been giving us
Its almost as if he's E Manuel of E-Limination
Step one: Take away our schools
Step Two: Put them out their home
Lastly: Destroy it all and
Deny Deny Deny
But remember, to always keep a straight face when you lie!
Try to pour the cheap paint over our eyes while stealing dollars from under our mattresses
There's not enough? Close their schools
But he's building a new DePaul stadium
Using our TIF funds to Transform the South Loop into the Promised Land of redevelopment
and some river walk
of course downtown
The paint is starting to streak.
Building a new Chicago or extending a new lie!
How can a city so in debt blueprint something so expensive?
Banneker Elementary - Closed
Woods Elementary - Closed
Yale Elementary - Closed
The paint is cracking:
From every west side basketball brotherhood
To south side sisterhood bonds through pom-poms
And every poetry team that had dreamed of being on this very stage
has been ripped apart,
Bad foundation for our future generations
struggling with 40 students in one class
so they learn from the streets
There's not money for our schools, but, there's enough to build a New Chicago
But that New Chicago is NOT for us.
The paint is wearing thin and so was our patience
Irreparable damage has already been done
Time to stop the destruction of OUR city
Prevent the further corruption of our already twisted politics of Chicago
25% of Chicago school children won't amount to anything
100% sure that we will be something
See Rahm we are mathematicians
your lies are adding up
and this new Chicago is just another one of them