November 01, 2015

RIP Fred Thompson

Fred Thomson Died today from lymphoma

Fred Thompson, an actor who became a US senator for Tennessee and ran for the presidency in 2008, has died. He was 73.

A statement from the Thompson family said: “It is with a heavy heart and a deep sense of grief that we share the passing of our brother, husband, father, and grandfather who died peacefully in Nashville surrounded by his family.”

The statement, which the Tennessean newspaper reported said Thompson died from a recurrence of lymphoma, added: “Fred believed that the greatness of our nation was defined by the hard work, faith, and honesty of its people.

Fred was also as you know an actor, Variety also has an obit here.
After Thompson’s acting role in “Marie,” director Roger Donaldson then cast him in “No Way Out” (1987) opposite Kevin Costner and Gene Hackman, and Thompson quickly got the reputation as an actor who could portray a high-powered politican.

He would go on to appear in films “Die Hard 2,” “The Hunt for Red October” and “Days of Thunder” in the ’90s before joining “Law & Order.”

Thompson joined the NBC procedural in 2002, during the final months of his Senate run. He left in 2007, most likely to prepare for his presidential bid that would come that year.

His other film credits include “Cape Fear,” “In the Line of Fire,” “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee,” “Thunderheart” and “Born Yesterday.” He also appeared on episodes of “Sex and the City,” “The Good Wife,” “Life on Mars,” “Wiseguy,” “Roseanne” and “Matlock.”

Yes, I see those elephants over there, not gonna do it, wouldn't be prudent.

Anyway the most endearing feature of Fred was his voice, that easy going southern good ol' boy voice.


His Official obit is here at the Tennessean.

By Howie at 08:37 PM | Comments |

October 21, 2015

Nooooooooo! Not Cory Wells!

Yeah so I was raised by hippies and WWII vets I can do Porter Wagoner or 3 Dog Night. I'm cool like that.

Three Dog Night co-founder and vocalist Cory Wells died Tuesday, according to the band's website. He was 74.

"It is with deep sadness and disbelief that I must report the passing of Cory Wells, my beloved band mate for over 45 years," Three Dog Night's Danny Hutton wrote in a press release. "Cory was an incredible singer – a great performer, he could sing anything."

I sang 3 Dog Night in Sunday school, giving away the fact my Parents had Easy Rider on 8-Track.


Hat Tip: el Chapo.

By Howie at 08:55 PM | Comments |

October 16, 2015

Seal Has Very Bad Day

I hear the seal was called Bilal Ahmad.

Yeah I have more Bilal saved up for a rainy day.

(video copied because autoplay)

By Howie at 08:10 PM | Comments |

October 13, 2015

Free Eddie! (update: He's Free!)

Randy Quaid tried to leave Canada last night.

He's being held on half a million dollars bail, over a repossession if I remember correctly.

Anyway..... we're big fans...... after all he saved the world several times......

We hereby demand Eddie, I mean The Quaids' unconditional release back into their natural environment!

Update: Apparently the State of California didn't get their act together and Vermont released the Quaids.

Saints be praised!

Superior Court Judge Alison Arms ruled there was no probable cause to hold the couple in Vermont.

The 65-year-old star of "Kingpin" and other popular movies -- sporting a flowing white beard and long hair -- smiled as he left the courtroom with his wife at his side.

The pair walked out of the courthouse wearing medical scrub-like jail uniforms.

"What a great judge," Evi Quaid told reporters. "Totally fair. This is Vermont. This is why we crossed the border into Vermont. ... I knew that the people of Vermont, the judge ... understand us."

By Howie at 09:23 AM | Comments |

September 24, 2015

Woman Races Dragon

More fun than a Hajj stampede?


Hat Tip: Papa Guz.

By Howie at 12:08 PM | Comments |

September 23, 2015

Whoa Baby Look at That Effing Fish

Man that fucking thing is huge!

Today was a great way to end summer thank u

Posted by Michael Bergin on Thursday, September 17, 2015

At first I thought it was Fishing with Ace Frehley. Close but no guitar.

By Howie at 12:02 PM | Comments |

September 16, 2015

Debate Fevah!

Live stream of the Republican debate on CNN is here.

It doesn't appear I can embed it here but it is free.

By Howie at 07:05 PM | Comments |

September 12, 2015

Where Howie?

He's not under the bridge, nor had he ever been under the bridge. Howie hates every iota of a bridge, swear to god.

While it's all hilarity now, authorities had to take the incident quite seriously when they first received a call that a man in his 20s had placed a small hard-suit case wrapped in a black blanket beneath a bridge.

Police shut down a road that runs through a heavy residential area alongside the Phillippi Creek and called in the Hazardous Devices Unit.

The bomb squad X-rayed the suitcase and determined it was not an incendiary device. Upon opening it, they found a customized foam mold protecting a colorful glass waterpipe.

By Howie at 09:53 PM | Comments |

September 09, 2015

WTW No Wait! Man Catches Wife in Bed With Her Father Gets Stabbed

Well it sounds kind of hillbilly, but actually Oakland.

Police in Oakland County say a man was stabbed by his father-in-law after finding the 47-year-old nude in bed with his wife — the man’s own daughter — and the older man is now behind bars.
The incident unfolded just after 3:30 a.m. Saturday at a home in the 100 block of W. Rundell Avenue in Pontiac, between Baldwin Avenue and Saginaw Street.

A 25-year-old man told police that he had arrived home and discovered his wife and her father completely nude, laying together in bed. The man woke up his father-in-law and got into an altercation that continued outside of the home.

That’s when the older man, since identified by police as Henry Allen Michael of Detroit, allegedly stabbed the younger man in the back with a knife.

After the stabbing, Michael got into his son-in-law’s vehicle and fled the scene.
Deputies were dispatched to McLaren Hospital after the man arrived with a non-life threatening stab wound that possibly perforated his right lung.

By Howie at 10:29 AM | Comments |

September 08, 2015

RIP Martin Milner

1-Adam-12 a staple of my childhood.

Actor Martin Milner, who projected clean-cut integrity through car windshields on '60s TV hits "Route 66" and "Adam-12," has died. He was 83.


Milner died Sunday night surrounded by his family, said friend Pete Gray, who with Milner co-hosted "Let's Talk HookUp," a Southern California radio show on sportfishing.

Oh well at least we still have Randolph Mantooth.

By Howie at 12:57 PM | Comments |

September 06, 2015

TRAMP 2016!

I missed so much while I was away.

By Howie at 10:54 AM | Comments |

August 24, 2015

Haters Gonna Hate

Big Bang Theory Actress catches hell for, you know, just visiting IsraelEW

"I think in general it's never going to be trendy to be observant or religious in Hollywood circles," Bialik told Fox 411 in an interview published Friday.

Image Huffpo

Bialik, 39, is of the Jewish faith and opened up about some serious backlash she received after a recent trip to Israel.

"I've gotten a lot of negative attention for visiting Israel," she said, recalling a visit to a friend in the Israel Defense Forces. "That's what amazing. … Simply by going to Israel this summer and saying nothing more than, 'I've gone to Israel,' I got the same amount of hatred and threats and anti-Semitism for actually making a statement trying to support people [who] whether I like it or not are serving in an army."

"That reveals the truth," she continued. "It really doesn't matter what I support or believe; the fact that I'm Jewish and go there is enough – that should be alarming to most people."

Looking a bit deeper Jawa Report finds facts that make the hatred even more vile.
So, you know, the notion that I'm a real-life nerd that loves Star Wars and superheroes....

Mayim Bialik's new blog is here.

By Howie at 09:07 PM | Comments |

July 28, 2015

Where's Vinnie? Nondescript White Van Edition

Go Vinnie Go!


By Howie at 07:51 AM | Comments |

July 26, 2015

Snoop Lion Violated!

I mean the brother reverted, but still the Man keeping him down.

A video posted by snoopdogg (@snoopdogg) on

And also Sweden I think your dope detector thingy is broken, but still don't you know there is an unwritten rule that celebrities and politicians I mean you know.

I bet Elvis didn't have to put up with this shit.

By Howie at 09:06 PM | Comments |

June 28, 2015

ISIS Flag Spotted In Gay Pride Parade

CNN reported the ISIS flag was being flown at a gay pride parade:


From Mediaite:

While roaming the annual Gay Pride Parade in London, CNN International reporter Lucy Pawle stumbled upon an "unnerving" sight: An unidentified man flying what initially appeared to be the flag of the jihadist Islamic State (ISIS).

Pawle snapped several photos of the strange sighting, and described to her CNN in-studio colleagues how parade-goers didn't seem to notice the flag, nor were there many questions being asked.

At one point, Pawle suggested it could have been a subtle piece of British humor (as they are wont to do) taunting ISIS since the militant group is notorious for executing homosexuals in rather brutal fashion. Corroborating her theory, Pawle said, is the fact that the flag's wording doesn’t appear to be Arabic, but rather "gobbledygook."

Wait... I thought all that "gobbledygook" on an ISIS flag was dildos and buttplugs!?


Looks like didlos and buttplugs to me. If fact, some analysis of the ISIS flag reveals:


So, CNN wasn't too far off. But I expect them to apologized to ISIS any day now.

By DMartyr at 01:43 PM | Comments |

June 11, 2015

RIP Christopher Lee

Christopher Lee has passed away.

Sir Christopher Lee, the veteran actor and star of many of the world's biggest film franchises, has died aged 93.
The English-born actor, who made his name playing Dracula and Frankenstein's monster in the Hammer horror films, appeared in more than 250 movies
He was best-known for his villainous roles - including Scaramanga in James Bond and evil wizard Saruman in The Lord of the Rings.

The actor's other credits include The Wicker Man and Star Wars.

The actor is reported to have died on Sunday at Chelsea and Westminster hospital in London, after being hospitalised for respiratory problems and heart failure.

A great loss fro the Empire but always two there are.

By Howie at 09:33 AM | Comments |

June 01, 2015

Hillary The Sixth Beatle?

If you wan't to blame someone for the destruction of the Beatles.....

Yoko Ono when asked about her thoughts about Hillary’s run for the presidency completely took reporters by surprise.

“We met many times during the New York Vietnam War protests in the 1970s, and became very intimate. We shared many of the same values about sexual equality, fighting against the authoritarian, patriarchal, male-dominated society we were raised in” she explained.

“We had a brief romantic fling when I lived with John in Manhattan and Hillary was studying at Yale, but eventually we lost touch. I am amazed how things are going well for her and wish her the best for her campaign” she told reporters during the press conference.

Eeeewwww! Bad Gay!

Even if its made up, still Bad Gay.

By Howie at 02:54 PM | Comments |

May 19, 2015

JawaPalooza Review Mad Max Fury Road

I can't believe they cut off Charlize Theron's arm just to make a movie.


Now THAT is dedication to your craft.

CT-1-5-6 (1).jpg
Jawa Report file image of Charlize Theron boobs, I mean arm

So after consulting with Rusty, we give Mad Max Fury Road four droids.

Update: Oooops! Now I'm mixing up boobs, Pesky Alzheimer's! Always sneaking up on you like that.

By Howie at 09:53 PM | Comments |

April 17, 2015

School Lunch Optical Illusion

Believe it or not, both these images are of the same meal. But through manipulated lighting and a vast right-wing conspiracy, the image on the left makes the meal appear much less appealing than the actual Michelle Obama approved meal on the right.


The illusion illustrates how lighting and political spin can fool your mind into seeing things differently than they really are.

By DMartyr at 07:37 PM | Comments |

April 14, 2015

Joe Biden Expresses Disappointment About Hillary Running For President

Earlier this week, Biden spoke candidly with a close adviser about his desire to run for President.


With Hillary Clinton's high profile Presidential announcement, Biden lost all hope of gaining support from the Democratic establishment. This morning, Biden gave an interview expressing his feelings about the Clinton campaign:

By DMartyr at 03:47 PM | Comments |

Vote Fussy Little Bastard 2016!

Because his platform is toys, more toys for everyone.

Also forced napping will be outlawed. But he better watch out for Joe Biden, that dude is after your pacifier.

By Howie at 09:28 AM | Comments |

April 13, 2015

Where's Howie?

Swimmin' with the babes at Spring Break.

Update by Howie: OMG! Its Huge! Yeah I get that a lot ;-)

Also, Ah iyuz skary!

By DMartyr at 10:33 AM | Comments |

April 11, 2015

BREAKING: Black Man Stopped By White Cop; Doesn't Get Shot!

(Hat Tip: Weasel Zippers) - Columbia, South Carolina

If only more young men were as intelligent and as reasonable as Will Stack. Will's video is below the fold.

By DMartyr at 07:55 PM | Comments |

April 10, 2015

SHOCKER: Barry Manilow Is Gay!!11!!!

Well, I'm not shocked. And I doubt anyone outside the Daily Mail news room is shocked either.

The news that Barry Manilow, the world's richest and most successful popular singer, has married his male manager, Garry Kief, at a secret wedding, may have stunned the legions of women who worship the 71-year-old icon's every move, but it is not likely to stop the traffic on Hollywood Boulevard.

For while many fans reacted on social media with broken-hearted shock - with one post reporting: 'my Mum can't stop crying about Barry' - there were many who had long suspected that, despite the star's decades of protestations to the contrary, the perma-tanned, disco-dancing smoothie was gay.

By DMartyr at 07:00 PM | Comments |

April 07, 2015

Mom Tries To Break Up Fight By Shooting Those Involved


I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time...

A gun-wielding mother has been arrested after allegedly firing into a crowd of people outside an apartment complex in a bid to break up a fight - only for the bullet to hit and kill her teenage son.

Latoya Tilson, 33, took out a .25-caliber handgun and fired several times into the feuding crowd in College Park, Georgia, on Saturday night after she was hit in the face by someone, police said.

But while one bullet struck a 17-year-old boy in the buttocks, another hit Tilson's 15-year-old son, Pierre, in the head.

I'm sure she was just trying to graze people like they do in the movies.

By DMartyr at 09:40 AM | Comments |

No Not Roscoe

James Best died.

He served honorably in the United States Army Air Force as a gunner on a B-17 bomber during World War II.
By Howie at 08:24 AM | Comments |

April 02, 2015

An Axe, A Cinder Block, And A Physics Teacher - What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

FYI, the co-worker survived. In fact, he was crazy enough to allow this physics teacher to take another swing!

Another angle below the fold with both swings.

By DMartyr at 01:00 PM | Comments |

March 31, 2015

Feel Good Story of The Day: She's Drunk Jim!

And to think just yesterday she was just a drunk, today she's a world famous drunk!

'Merca the land of opportunity.

By Howie at 09:21 AM | Comments |

February 27, 2015

RIP Mr. Spock


I Am Not Spock proclaimed the title of Leonard Nimoy's 1975 autobiography, in which the veteran actor tried to distinguish himself from his most iconic role, as Star Trek's emotionless half-human, half-Vulcan science officer. Twenty years later, he published a follow-up entitled, I Am Spock, in which the actor-director warmly embraced his pointy-eared alter ego. Like it or not, Nimoy — who passed away on Feb. 27 at the age of 83 from end-stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease — was Spock to generations of sci-fi fans, so much so that when J.J. Abrams rebooted the franchise in the 2009 blockbuster, Nimoy was the one original cast member he made sure to bring back.

By Howie at 01:03 PM | Comments |

February 10, 2015

Downfall Brian Williams Edition

Hat Tip: John.

By Howie at 03:40 PM | Comments |

February 07, 2015

Sandcrawler Intermission: Trust Your Feelings

Let go!

By Howie at 09:08 AM | Comments |

February 03, 2015

Randy Quaid LOL

Cousin Eddie bangs Rupert.

Hat Tip: Ben.

By Howie at 04:13 PM | Comments |

January 27, 2015

Sandcrawler Intermission: Making Fun of Arabs For No Particular Reason

I mean why not, if not for them life would be dull, no?

In the interest of diversity we shall now make fun of Hindus and Sikhs at the same time. Mainly because we can't tell them apart.

AliBaba Bunny from Ute on Vimeo.

And last but not least those pesky Crusading Cross Worshipers!

I hope the Cross Worshipers don't kill me!

By Howie at 06:31 PM | Comments |

Jawa Present Must See Fatwad Films

Films for Phobes via Zip:

300: Rise of Empire – Film

American Sniper – Film

Amira & Sam – Film

Dracula Untold – Film

Exodus: Gods and Kings – Film

Honor Diaries – Film

Oppressed Majority – Film

RoboCop (2014) – Film

Enjoy the phobic arts today!

By Howie at 09:32 AM | Comments |

January 16, 2015

Sandcrawler PSA: Breaking! Apocalypse Postponed

United Press International's twitter feed has been hijacked.

This is not the end of the world we're looking for, move along. Move along.

The George Washington was just in port at Yokosuka, Japan.

NY Post twitter also hijacked.

By Howie at 01:22 PM | Comments |

January 15, 2015

Pope Francis' Momma is So Fat...

...when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Bah dum bump!

On Thursday, while aboard the papal plane, Pope Francis said there are limits to freedom of expression, especially when it insults or ridicules someone’s faith.

If my good friend Dr. Gasparri says a curse word against my mother, he can expect a punch, Francis said.

Is it just me or is there some slight difference between a giving a person fat lip and the murder of 12 people plus some random Jews?

By Howie at 12:57 PM | Comments |

January 13, 2015

Teacher 23 Totally Rapes Student 18

The poor poor guy!

Jessica Bonnet Acker a 23 year old high school teacher at Bryant High in Cottondale, Alabama has been accused of having sex with an eighteen year old student, just seven months after marrying her husband.


The teachers’ arrest would come after authorities came to be tipped off that Acker was in the throes of a relationship with one of her pupils. Both Acker and the student in question would be interviewed before a warrant for Acker’s arrest was issued. Acker would in turn surrender to authorities the next day.

I mean for the husband, who married the whore.

But 18 and 23 rape? Inappropriate, and probably a policy violation. But is that rape the first or the 70th time or both?

I mean I can hear the victim's testimony now...

So you had sex with Mrs Acker? And then again and again and again?

Yeah it was awesome dude! She's a totally righteous babe!

Kids probably don't say righteous babe anymore do they?

By Howie at 08:32 AM | Comments |