June 08, 2016

On the Lamb

Heh,


A herd of over a thousand sheep invaded the town of Huesca in Spain after escaping their owners and breaking for freedom. Local police received emergency calls that the livestock had entered the town.

Freedom!

By Howie at 09:22 AM | Comments |

June 01, 2016

#Rancorlivesmatter!

He was just doing what came naturally.



By Howie at 03:52 PM | Comments |

May 31, 2016

Space Aliens! 100% Total Proof!

WTF is that!?!?

Maw, you see this?

By Howie at 12:51 PM | Comments |

May 03, 2016

Look Out Ethel!


By Howie at 08:22 AM | Comments |

Rusty Shackleford World Traveler: Bangaii Edition

Rusty is continuing his word travels, exchanging ideas and culture in Indonesia.

The tale begins in Bangaii, days after an auspicious solar eclipse appeared over the region. A 21-year-old fisherman was walking the beach when he spotted a beautiful, lonely angel on the sand. Naturally, he took her appearance as a sign from heaven and he gently bundled her up and took her home.

There, he attired her in a blouse and skirt, which his parents changed daily as a sign of respect. Intrigued by reports (or maybe just really bored), local police visited the house to see the angel for themselves.

"It was a sex toy," police chief Heru Pramukarno told a local newspaper.

As a semi-famous man once said, Heh....

By Howie at 07:50 AM | Comments |

April 22, 2016

Vader Fires King BO

LOL of the day.


Damn if he'd put hat on youtube with ads he would have made more money than Subway would have paid in ten years probably.

By Howie at 07:42 AM | Comments |

April 21, 2016

RIP Prince



By Howie at 12:46 PM | Comments |

Hairdryers! F*ck Yeah!



By Howie at 09:10 AM | Comments |

April 12, 2016

Jawa Book Review Trans-Racial

I'm willing to actually read and review Rachel's novel for a small fee of say $20,000.



By Howie at 12:33 PM | Comments |

April 11, 2016

Where's Howie?

Guz told me it was a three hour tour!

Three men were rescued Thursday from the Pacific Ocean island where they had been stranded for three days, after flagging down rescuers with palm fronds used to spell out "HELP," the U.S. Coast Guard said Friday.

461063a835c73c284f07c87ba65f6634.jpg

A photo of their makeshift announcement on the beach was released on Facebook Saturday by the U.S. Pacific Fleet, capturing the dramatic work of the stranded men in flagging down their rescuers.

By Howie at 11:07 AM | Comments |

March 30, 2016

PepperSprayGate!

So I dunno, I'm old fashioned, I don't think XX chromosome and being young and stupid means that the rest of the world has to put up with your...


That will probably heal before she marries.

Update: Fat Guy in the Red Hat doesn't do himself any favors either.

By Howie at 08:36 AM | Comments |

March 23, 2016

Sandcrawler PSA: Fire! Its Hot!

No matter how simple the concept there are those who must learn it the hard way.

She was wearing her hot pants.

A bizarre video has surfaced online, showing a woman who set her vagina on fire during a dance competition.

The Flaming Lips! LOL!

Obviously rubbing alcohol is racist!

By Howie at 02:05 PM | Comments |

March 14, 2016

Sandcrawler PSA: Sores Are Puss-ey And Gross

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT put Happy Faces on them!


Don't you ever do that!

By Howie at 08:50 AM | Comments |

March 07, 2016

Houston We Have Yet Another Problem

Don't look Ethel!


Kids, this is what York Peppermint Patties will do to ya.

Hit it!

Hat Tip: @Hiss_N_Bytch

By Howie at 11:46 AM | Comments |

Sandcrawler PSA: Man's Gotta Eat

Yes, but I think in this case, man's gotta drink.

Brisbane (Australia) (AFP) - A man known as "Mad Matt" appeared in an Australian court Monday after filming himself allegedly biting the head off a live rat and posting the video on Facebook.

Matthew Maloney, 24, was charged with animal cruelty following a raid by RSPCA investigators after the bizarre stunt in January.

After a string of comments branding him disgusting, Maloney posted a reply.

"All your comments are cracking me up and not one person out there will be able to say anything that will make me feel bad or make me regret what i did," he wrote.

"Its mother nature and mans gotta eat!"

If you must.

By Howie at 10:06 AM | Comments |

February 17, 2016

Islamic Science! Jinns Like Hot Chicks

Heh, if you're going to poses someone possess a hot chick.

Mallam Luthfi Jamal-Baba said that although men can be inhabited by 'jinns' (roughly, spirits), beautiful women are more prone to possession.

8426897405_4dcf9ed1dc_b.jpg
Image credit for Host Possessed chicks

An Islamic exorcist has made the bizarre claim that beautiful women are more likely to be possessed by evil spirits.

Mallam Luthfi Jamal-Baba, an Imam and exorcist from Ghana, west Africa, said that although men can be inhabited by 'jinns' (spirits), beautiful women are more prone to possession.

By Howie at 09:12 AM | Comments |

February 08, 2016

Millions of Hopes Dashed as SMOD Finally Strikes Killing Only One (update_: Never Mind Just a Terrorist)

SMOD why hast thou forsaken us?

Indian officials say a meteorite struck the campus of a private engineering college on Saturday, killing one person. If scientists confirm the explosion was due to a meteorite, it would be the first recorded human fatality due to a falling space rock.

According to local reports, a bus driver was killed on Saturday when a meteorite landed in the area where he was walking, damaging the window panes of nearby buses and buildings. Three other people were injured.

Update: No meteorite was found and the crater appears to have been from an explosive device. After examination the meteor shards were determined to be rocks of the type space scientists classify as J.A.F.R.

So in other words the guy was just another victim of Islamic Terrorism, not a meteor.

Sigh....

By Howie at 01:02 PM | Comments |

January 26, 2016

Noooooooo! Not Abe!


And he took one of the internet's best memes with him.

Update: This is all Dave's fault!

By Howie at 02:33 PM | Comments |

Outrage! Star Wars VIII Delayed Till Dec 2017

We now go to our entertainment corespondent Donald Trump.

By Howie at 12:11 PM | Comments |

December 30, 2015

Video Watch Chilean Fishermen Finish off Drowning Whale

Bless their hearts, They were only trying to help.

Story to tell the kids here.

Daily Mail:

After dragging it for some 5 kilometres, the whale was cut free from the rope and able to glide off into the water.
Yeah kids it just glided..... strait to the bottom.

By Howie at 09:59 AM | Comments |

November 01, 2015

RIP Fred Thompson

Fred Thomson Died today from lymphoma

Fred Thompson, an actor who became a US senator for Tennessee and ran for the presidency in 2008, has died. He was 73.

A statement from the Thompson family said: “It is with a heavy heart and a deep sense of grief that we share the passing of our brother, husband, father, and grandfather who died peacefully in Nashville surrounded by his family.”

The statement, which the Tennessean newspaper reported said Thompson died from a recurrence of lymphoma, added: “Fred believed that the greatness of our nation was defined by the hard work, faith, and honesty of its people.

Fred was also as you know an actor, Variety also has an obit here.
After Thompson’s acting role in “Marie,” director Roger Donaldson then cast him in “No Way Out” (1987) opposite Kevin Costner and Gene Hackman, and Thompson quickly got the reputation as an actor who could portray a high-powered politican.

He would go on to appear in films “Die Hard 2,” “The Hunt for Red October” and “Days of Thunder” in the ’90s before joining “Law & Order.”

Thompson joined the NBC procedural in 2002, during the final months of his Senate run. He left in 2007, most likely to prepare for his presidential bid that would come that year.

His other film credits include “Cape Fear,” “In the Line of Fire,” “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee,” “Thunderheart” and “Born Yesterday.” He also appeared on episodes of “Sex and the City,” “The Good Wife,” “Life on Mars,” “Wiseguy,” “Roseanne” and “Matlock.”

Yes, I see those elephants over there, not gonna do it, wouldn't be prudent.

Anyway the most endearing feature of Fred was his voice, that easy going southern good ol' boy voice.

Ha!

His Official obit is here at the Tennessean.

By Howie at 08:37 PM | Comments |

October 21, 2015

Nooooooooo! Not Cory Wells!

Yeah so I was raised by hippies and WWII vets I can do Porter Wagoner or 3 Dog Night. I'm cool like that.

Three Dog Night co-founder and vocalist Cory Wells died Tuesday, according to the band's website. He was 74.

"It is with deep sadness and disbelief that I must report the passing of Cory Wells, my beloved band mate for over 45 years," Three Dog Night's Danny Hutton wrote in a press release. "Cory was an incredible singer – a great performer, he could sing anything."

I sang 3 Dog Night in Sunday school, giving away the fact my Parents had Easy Rider on 8-Track.

Dayum.....

Hat Tip: el Chapo.

By Howie at 08:55 PM | Comments |

October 16, 2015

Seal Has Very Bad Day

I hear the seal was called Bilal Ahmad.

Yeah I have more Bilal saved up for a rainy day.

(video copied because autoplay)

By Howie at 08:10 PM | Comments |

October 13, 2015

Free Eddie! (update: He's Free!)

Randy Quaid tried to leave Canada last night.

He's being held on half a million dollars bail, over a repossession if I remember correctly.

Anyway..... we're big fans...... after all he saved the world several times......

We hereby demand Eddie, I mean The Quaids' unconditional release back into their natural environment!

Update: Apparently the State of California didn't get their act together and Vermont released the Quaids.

Saints be praised!

Superior Court Judge Alison Arms ruled there was no probable cause to hold the couple in Vermont.

The 65-year-old star of "Kingpin" and other popular movies -- sporting a flowing white beard and long hair -- smiled as he left the courtroom with his wife at his side.

The pair walked out of the courthouse wearing medical scrub-like jail uniforms.

"What a great judge," Evi Quaid told reporters. "Totally fair. This is Vermont. This is why we crossed the border into Vermont. ... I knew that the people of Vermont, the judge ... understand us."

By Howie at 09:23 AM | Comments |

September 24, 2015

Woman Races Dragon

More fun than a Hajj stampede?

Nope

Hat Tip: Papa Guz.

By Howie at 12:08 PM | Comments |

September 23, 2015

Whoa Baby Look at That Effing Fish

Man that fucking thing is huge!

Today was a great way to end summer thank u

Posted by Michael Bergin on Thursday, September 17, 2015

At first I thought it was Fishing with Ace Frehley. Close but no guitar.

By Howie at 12:02 PM | Comments |

September 16, 2015

Debate Fevah!

Live stream of the Republican debate on CNN is here.

It doesn't appear I can embed it here but it is free.


By Howie at 07:05 PM | Comments |

September 12, 2015

Where Howie?

He's not under the bridge, nor had he ever been under the bridge. Howie hates every iota of a bridge, swear to god.

While it's all hilarity now, authorities had to take the incident quite seriously when they first received a call that a man in his 20s had placed a small hard-suit case wrapped in a black blanket beneath a bridge.

Police shut down a road that runs through a heavy residential area alongside the Phillippi Creek and called in the Hazardous Devices Unit.

The bomb squad X-rayed the suitcase and determined it was not an incendiary device. Upon opening it, they found a customized foam mold protecting a colorful glass waterpipe.



By Howie at 09:53 PM | Comments |

September 09, 2015

WTW No Wait! Man Catches Wife in Bed With Her Father Gets Stabbed

Well it sounds kind of hillbilly, but actually Oakland.

Police in Oakland County say a man was stabbed by his father-in-law after finding the 47-year-old nude in bed with his wife — the man’s own daughter — and the older man is now behind bars.
The incident unfolded just after 3:30 a.m. Saturday at a home in the 100 block of W. Rundell Avenue in Pontiac, between Baldwin Avenue and Saginaw Street.

A 25-year-old man told police that he had arrived home and discovered his wife and her father completely nude, laying together in bed. The man woke up his father-in-law and got into an altercation that continued outside of the home.

That’s when the older man, since identified by police as Henry Allen Michael of Detroit, allegedly stabbed the younger man in the back with a knife.

After the stabbing, Michael got into his son-in-law’s vehicle and fled the scene.
Deputies were dispatched to McLaren Hospital after the man arrived with a non-life threatening stab wound that possibly perforated his right lung.

By Howie at 10:29 AM | Comments |

September 08, 2015

RIP Martin Milner

1-Adam-12 a staple of my childhood.

Actor Martin Milner, who projected clean-cut integrity through car windshields on '60s TV hits "Route 66" and "Adam-12," has died. He was 83.

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Milner died Sunday night surrounded by his family, said friend Pete Gray, who with Milner co-hosted "Let's Talk HookUp," a Southern California radio show on sportfishing.

Oh well at least we still have Randolph Mantooth.

By Howie at 12:57 PM | Comments |

September 06, 2015

TRAMP 2016!

I missed so much while I was away.


By Howie at 10:54 AM | Comments |

August 24, 2015

Haters Gonna Hate

Big Bang Theory Actress catches hell for, you know, just visiting IsraelEW

"I think in general it's never going to be trendy to be observant or religious in Hollywood circles," Bialik told Fox 411 in an interview published Friday.

h-MAYIM-BIALIK-960x540.jpg
Image Huffpo

Bialik, 39, is of the Jewish faith and opened up about some serious backlash she received after a recent trip to Israel.

"I've gotten a lot of negative attention for visiting Israel," she said, recalling a visit to a friend in the Israel Defense Forces. "That's what amazing. … Simply by going to Israel this summer and saying nothing more than, 'I've gone to Israel,' I got the same amount of hatred and threats and anti-Semitism for actually making a statement trying to support people [who] whether I like it or not are serving in an army."

"That reveals the truth," she continued. "It really doesn't matter what I support or believe; the fact that I'm Jewish and go there is enough – that should be alarming to most people."

Looking a bit deeper Jawa Report finds facts that make the hatred even more vile.
So, you know, the notion that I'm a real-life nerd that loves Star Wars and superheroes....
Autolink.

Mayim Bialik's new blog is here.

By Howie at 09:07 PM | Comments |

July 28, 2015

Where's Vinnie? Nondescript White Van Edition

Go Vinnie Go!

Awwwwwwww....

By Howie at 07:51 AM | Comments |

July 26, 2015

Snoop Lion Violated!

I mean the brother reverted, but still the Man keeping him down.

A video posted by snoopdogg (@snoopdogg) on


And also Sweden I think your dope detector thingy is broken, but still don't you know there is an unwritten rule that celebrities and politicians I mean you know.

I bet Elvis didn't have to put up with this shit.

By Howie at 09:06 PM | Comments |

June 28, 2015

ISIS Flag Spotted In Gay Pride Parade

CNN reported the ISIS flag was being flown at a gay pride parade:

isis_dildo_flag.jpg

From Mediaite:

While roaming the annual Gay Pride Parade in London, CNN International reporter Lucy Pawle stumbled upon an "unnerving" sight: An unidentified man flying what initially appeared to be the flag of the jihadist Islamic State (ISIS).

Pawle snapped several photos of the strange sighting, and described to her CNN in-studio colleagues how parade-goers didn't seem to notice the flag, nor were there many questions being asked.

At one point, Pawle suggested it could have been a subtle piece of British humor (as they are wont to do) taunting ISIS since the militant group is notorious for executing homosexuals in rather brutal fashion. Corroborating her theory, Pawle said, is the fact that the flag's wording doesn’t appear to be Arabic, but rather "gobbledygook."

Wait... I thought all that "gobbledygook" on an ISIS flag was dildos and buttplugs!?

ISIS-FLAG-rally.jpg

Looks like didlos and buttplugs to me. If fact, some analysis of the ISIS flag reveals:

ISIS_Flag_decoded.jpg

So, CNN wasn't too far off. But I expect them to apologized to ISIS any day now.

By DMartyr at 01:43 PM | Comments |

June 11, 2015

RIP Christopher Lee

Christopher Lee has passed away.

Sir Christopher Lee, the veteran actor and star of many of the world's biggest film franchises, has died aged 93.
The English-born actor, who made his name playing Dracula and Frankenstein's monster in the Hammer horror films, appeared in more than 250 movies
.
He was best-known for his villainous roles - including Scaramanga in James Bond and evil wizard Saruman in The Lord of the Rings.

The actor's other credits include The Wicker Man and Star Wars.

The actor is reported to have died on Sunday at Chelsea and Westminster hospital in London, after being hospitalised for respiratory problems and heart failure.

A great loss fro the Empire but always two there are.


By Howie at 09:33 AM | Comments |

June 01, 2015

Hillary The Sixth Beatle?

If you wan't to blame someone for the destruction of the Beatles.....

Yoko Ono when asked about her thoughts about Hillary’s run for the presidency completely took reporters by surprise.

“We met many times during the New York Vietnam War protests in the 1970s, and became very intimate. We shared many of the same values about sexual equality, fighting against the authoritarian, patriarchal, male-dominated society we were raised in” she explained.

“We had a brief romantic fling when I lived with John in Manhattan and Hillary was studying at Yale, but eventually we lost touch. I am amazed how things are going well for her and wish her the best for her campaign” she told reporters during the press conference.

Eeeewwww! Bad Gay!

Even if its made up, still Bad Gay.

By Howie at 02:54 PM | Comments |