July 04, 2014
Happy 2014th Birthday, America!
Twitter is alive showing off their common core math and history standards...
i cannot believe that obama's america turns 2014 years old today. wow. beautiful.—
doodle jade (@catcherinthebye) July 04, 2014
but i can't believe America is 2014 years old. that's crazy.—
tyler (@Bennett__over) July 04, 2014
Hard to believe America is 2014 years old….—
Jay (@Jay_Worrall) July 04, 2014
Happy birthday america your 2014 years old now.—
Cody Anderson (@foldedcactus) July 04, 2014
AMERICA IS NOW 2014 YEARS OLD—
Marthene (@martodota) July 04, 2014
cant beleve america is 2014 years old today…..—
Will McCauley (@Will_McCauley) July 04, 2014
Well done to America for making it to 2014 years old. Happy Birthday.—
Obi Juan (@Juanscornetto) July 04, 2014
America is finally 2014 years old—
July 15th (@SumNegro) July 04, 2014
I can't believe America is 2014 years old today :>—
GANGAN PUNCH (@MadameColeen) July 04, 2014
america is 2014 years old today—
many different birds (@FlakeJay) July 04, 2014
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool... bah, too late.
Something is happening with American flags. Is it Bruce Springsteen's birthday? It's probably Bruce Springsteen's birthday. Happy birthday!—
Adam Rogers (@rodreegez) July 4, 2014
You tell 'em, Andy!
Dude! That Was Like 28 Years Ago!
American Apparel has apologized after an employee posted the picture above for the 4th of July:
"We deeply apologize for today's Tumblr post of the Space Shuttle Challenger. The image was re-blogged in error by one of our international social media employees who was born after the tragedy and was unaware of the event. We sincerely regret the insensitivity of that selection and the post has been deleted."
Yeah, 28 years is going back in history a little far for our latest 'me' generation. They can barely remember 8 years ago, much less 28 years.
There's an old saying by George Santayana that, by American Apparel's excuse, no one under 100 will know: "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
We are in for some terrible times ahead.
June 25, 2014
Where's Rusty? Poop Bandit Policy Edition
He's working as a policy consultant at EPA drawing up a policy that both respects workers' rights and deals with the Poop Bandit issue.
In the email, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned “several incidents” in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and “an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.I'm like, you know, almost jealous that I'm not holding a degree in political science so I can work on the leading issues of the day.
Confounded by what to make of this occurrence, EPA management “consulted” with workplace violence “national expert” John Nicoletti, who said that hallway feces is in fact a health and safety risk. He added the behavior was “very dangerous” and the individuals responsible would “probably escalate” their actions.
“Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals,” Cantor wrote. He asked for any employees with knowledge of the poop bandit or bandits to notify their supervisor.
I'm going out on a limb here, I think we can exclude any registered Republicans from the Poop Bandit suspect list. I mean I could be wrong, except I'm not.
Hat Tip: Charles.
June 24, 2014
Science! We Are Not Here!
The universe shouldn't exist — at least according to a new theory.Hawking says the big bang doesn't require God. God doesn't require a PhD. either.
Modeling of conditions soon after the Big Bang suggests the universe should have collapsed just microseconds after its explosive birth, the new study suggests.
June 05, 2014
What Every Graduate Should Know
Some good stuff, from Prager U
May 19, 2014
Slur-Ridden, UH, Incoherent Babble, UH, Wins National Debate, UH, Championship
It looks like Obama made "uh" a legitimate cultural expression. A slur-ridden, incomprehensible tirade against whitey won the 2014 Cross Examination Debate Association National Championship.
From Pundit Press:
Here is an actual excerpt (with profanity redacted). See if you are able to tell what Towson is arguing in favor or against:They say the n*****s always already qu***, that's exactly the point! It means the impact is that the that the is the impact term, uh, to the afraid, uh, the, that it is a case term to the affirmative because, we, uh, we’re saying that qu*** bodies are not able to survive the necessarily means of the body. Uh, uh, the n***** is not able to survive.
Have no idea what the person was arguing? Here, maybe another real excerpt will help you:Uh, man's sole "jabringing" object disfigure religion trauma and nubs, uh, the, inside the trauma of representation that turns into the black child devouring and identifying with the stories and into the white culture brought up, uh, de de de de de, dink, and add subjectively like a white man, the black man!
Again, this is a national championship. The organization that holds the debate was founded over 40 years ago and has held national debate tournaments for decades.
This is our future's brightest stars:
May 06, 2014
Finals Blogging: This Post Written by ....
I just finished grading my final exams for my intro class. This one test is worth 35% of the grade. So, naturally, one of the students didn't write their name on the test. And given that at least 4 other students were no shows for the exam, there's no way I can know who it was.
I also had an upper division course turn in their term papers last week. I just finished grading them. And you know what? One of the papers had no name on it as well. Now that one won't be too hard to figure out who wrote it and, in the process, brain farted.
But seriously .... the first rule of college is -- WRITE YOUR NAME!
Okay, that's my excuse for not blogging this week. Next week I'll be in Scotland, so no blogging for me. Any Scottish Jawa readers out there in the Edinburgh area?
April 11, 2014
Common Core Test Nazis: "No Ice Cream For You!"
Many parents don't know they can have their children opt out of participating in common core testing, supposedly without retribution. But some New York students are discovering that conformity results in rewards, while exercising the right to opt out results in punishment:
Seirra Olivero, a 13-year-old student at Orange-Ulster BOCES, claims she was suspended from school last week after telling classmates they could opt out of taking the Common Core English test -- a decision few students and parents in the area knew was possible, according to the girl's mother.
The eighth-grader was suspended for two days for "insubordination," following the April 1 incident, in which she informed her friends they had a choice whether or not to take the exam on the day of the test. [...]
In Arkport, N.Y., meanwhile, parents are complaining over a decision by school officials to reward students who took the Common Core English test with ice cream, while denying it to those children who opted out of the exam.
March 28, 2014
A- Minus University Essay
This "essay" final received the grade of A- at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill:
(Click to Enlarge)
The essay in its entirety:
On the evening of December Rosa Parks decided that she was going to sit in the white people section on the bus in Montgomery, Alabama. During this time blacks had to give up there seats to whites when more whites got on the bus. Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat. Her and the bus driver began to talk and the conversation went like this. "Let me have those front seats" said the driver. She didn't get up and told the driver that she was tired of giving her seat to white people. "I'm going to have you arrested," said the driver. "You may do that," Rosa Parks responded. Two white policemen came in and Rosa Parks asked them "why do you all push us around?" The police officer replied and said "I don't know, but the law is the law and you're under arrest.
(Hat Tip: IHateTheMedia)
March 25, 2014
Yeah, That Sounds Right: College Students in D.C. Can't Name a Single Senator
This annoys the hell out of me. Not only are these kids in college, they're at American University in the nation's capital. The thing is that a lot of these students go to American because they have political/governmental aspirations (but couldn't get into Georgetown).
It gets worse: a bunch of them didn't know how many Senators per state there are.
I'm seriously ready for the zombie apocalypse.
February 25, 2014
Awarding Program Actaulluy Allows Students To Learn At They're Own Paste
And you thought The Derek Zoolander School for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too was fictional.
Earlier this month, The Post exposed a scheme at Manhattan's Murry Bergtraum HS for Business Careers in which failing students could get full credit without attending class, but instead watch video lessons and take tests online. One social-studies teacher had a roster of 475 students in all grades and subjects.
Red-faced administrators encouraged a student letter-writing campaign to attack The Post and defend its "blended learning" program. Eighteen kids e-mailed to argue that their alma mater got a bad rap.
Almost every letter was filled with spelling, grammar and punctuation errors. (Source)
February 13, 2014
Where Rusty really is
"Researching" feminist pornography.
UPDATE: My eyes burn!
January 09, 2014
The Kids Aren't Alright
VDH has some words about what's wrong with my profession and higher education in general. Go read it all, but this part especially stood out to me:
5. Administration. Much of the recent explosion in annual costs is due to administrative bloat — special assistants to this and deputy associates of that. Left unspoken is that many of these trumped-up six-figure positions are to promote “diversity” and “technology” that have little to do with mastery of reasoning, prose, and scientific knowledge. Most administrative jobs require less formal expertise than does a faculty position, and it is generally recognized that full professors who take on administrative positions are sometimes welcomed out of the classroom given their poor teaching and research records. But why should those who dreamed up exploitative part-time teaching positions be exempt from their own logic? Private enterprise could supply all sorts of part-time administrative clerks to the university at a fraction of the present in-house costs. If a PhD in French can be hired as a lecturer for $800 a month, surely the Associate Provost for Diversity Affairs can be part-timed and outsourced for $600?Indeed. In the unit where I work we haven't added a new faculty member in years. The only new position has been an extra layer of administration added on to one of the subunits -- a "director" of a unit that only has two full time instructors. This "director" who only oversees two faculty members is so busy in their "work" that they've been excused from 1/2 of their teaching load.
And if you were to walk over to the administration building it would be worse. Far, far worse. I can't count the number of Dean-of-this-or-that and Assistant-Vice-Chancellor-of-obscure-little-fiefdom who have sprung up over the past 12 years.
January 06, 2014
Dogs are so attuned to the Earth’s magnetic field that they line up with it to relieve themselves, a new study found.
Dogs of all breeds overwhelmingly prefer to do their business facing north-south, not east-west, according to research.....
December 30, 2013
Palestinian Kids Pretty Sure It Was the Jooooooos!
December 06, 2013
Study: Muslim-Majority Countries Most Corrupt
(Source: Transparency International)
Ironically, the most corrupt are countries embraced by the socialist leftists. The countries in which they choose to live and which they hate for being too capitalistic or too unfair are the least corrupt.
November 25, 2013
Help, I'm being repressed by .... commas?
Apparently, I'm oppressing minorities when I insist on proper punctuation.
Yeah, I know: I wouldn't know proper punctuation if it was sitting on my face. But still ..... the repression!
October 11, 2013
Schools Ban Dangerous Balls, Add Soccer Helmets
You know, for the children.
No longer allowed at the Weber Middle School in Port Washington, New York: footballs, baseballs, soccer balls, lacrosse balls and any other hardballs that could injure a child. Also off limits: rough games of tag and cartwheels unless an adult supervisor is on hand. [...]
A New Jersey school district is ordering all students who play soccer - and other non-contact sports - to wear helmets on the field.
(Hat Tip: IHateTheMedia)
Leftists have already dumbed down America's educational system. Students striving for excellence and excelling are demonized for making less motivated students feel inadequate. If the leftist get their way, every student will be riding the short bus...
Keep the general population ignorant and uneducated so the elite class can maintain control. That's the true agenda.
October 08, 2013
But Smarter Than The Average Bear!
It’s long been known that America’s school kids haven’t measured well compared with international peers. Now, there’s a new twist: Adults don’t either.
In math, reading and problem-solving using technology – all skills considered critical for global competitiveness and economic strength – American adults scored below the international average on a global test, according to results released Tuesday.
The leftist agenda of dumbing down America so no one gets hurt feelings is now complete.
Welcome to the Idiocracy.
October 04, 2013
I Really Don't Remember Math Being This Difficult
From a 3rd grade common core math workbook:
Or, you could do it the old, outdated way:
(Hat Tip: Twitchy)
September 19, 2013
Jawa Report Reviews Nova's Why Ships Sink
There are many factors, but in most cases its due to like the giant gaping hole in the bottom.
Glad we cleared that up.
September 12, 2013
Not All Victims are Heroes
This piece by Phyllis Chesler goes side by side with Rusty's Recent editorial When Academics Flop on the Couch of a "Syrian Moderate"
I once married a Muslim "man of color" and assumed, unthinkingly that, as an outsider himself, he might somehow identify with and make common cause with women.We aspire to relate to them, to find common ground. To see that we're all the same, but the reality is we're not.
I found that this misguided assumption was untrue and, in my new book, "An American Bride in Kabul," I write about my unsentimental education in such matters, an education which took place both in America and in Afghanistan long ago.
I had also once assumed that all formerly colonized peoples and Third World impoverished countries were filled with naturally noble inhabitants who were instinctively spiritual and kind to each other.
I quickly discovered that barbarism is indigenous to such regions, and that tribal and religious wars, the most profound misogyny, cruelty, and corruption were accepted asnormal." It was only a crime to criticize such practices.
September 04, 2013
No, this isn't The Onion.
In February this year, America's first Muslim Fraternity was established at the University of Texas; Ali Mahmoud is the President of Alpha Lambda Mu (or Alif Laam Meem) and its founder. [...]
They created the fraternity, based on the principles of Islam - mercy, compassion, justice, integrity, honesty, unity, love, and sincerity...
They lost me at "mercy."
I have a feeling you won't see scenes like this in the Muslim Frat:
August 26, 2013
A Video About Phidiots
You know, back in the day the problem was Vidiots. People who watch too much Tee Vee.
Now the problem is Phidiots.
There's also a strange hybrid of the two that are on their phone and also believe they are watching Tee Vee. I don't know what to call that really besides maybe idiot deluxe?
June 21, 2013
About that Crucifix Rape Image
There are some tweets going around saying that this image is of a Syrian Christian girl raped and murdered by FSA rebels.
But if you google search you can find this image reported as a rape of a Coptic girl in Egypt as far back as 2011.
Just in case you were wondering if it was real, its not.
May 11, 2013
Please Explain Why Your Regional School Manager Doesn't Use Proper Punctuation?
Maybe School managers should spend more time worrying about reading, writing and 'rithmetic than which condiment little Johnny consumes...
(Hat Tip: IHateTheMedia)
I made this new Office of School Food logo for the regional manager behind the email. It's more fitting, I think.
May 03, 2013
I Thought It Was Required Reading...
A Philadelphia mother wants her son’s high school teacher fired after he bought the teen the novel Fifty Shades of Grey for in-class reading. [...]
Ladson's son, who is a 9th grade student at Eastern University Academy Charter School in the East Falls section of Philadelphia, asked for and was given the book by his teacher and adviser Philip Aidoo. (Source)
April 25, 2013
Middle School Workshop: Girls Ordered To Kiss Each Other
At Red Hook Middle School in New York during an "anti-bullying" workshop, teen girls were forced to pretend to be a lesbian couple and kiss each other.
Parents of children attending a Red Hook, New York, middle school are outraged after a recent anti-bullying presentation at Linden Avenue Middle School. [...]
Parents say their daughters were told to ask one another for a kiss and they say two girls were told to stand in front of the class and pretend they were lesbians on a date.
"She told me, 'Mom we all get teased and picked on enough. Now I'm going to be called a lesbian because I had to ask another girl if I could kiss her,'" parent, Mandy Coon, told reporters.
Coon says parents were given no warning about the presentation and there was no opportunity to opt-out. Both the school principal and the district superintendent are defending the workshops and advising they will schedule more.
The boys were also forced to attend a workshop. Only in their forum, they were taught to always keep a condom handy and how to spot girls who are "sluts."
And no, that isn't sarcasm. That is actually the workshop presented for the male students.
Linden Avenue Middle School
65 West Market Street
Red Hook, NY 12571
If you contact the school, please keep it civil.
April 22, 2013
Only Lawyers and Professors Are This Stupid
In this case, she's both a lawyer and a professor. So, the cards were stacked against anything coming out of her mouth from the get go:
This said, the mortuary pictures of the older brother of the two are extremely disturbing, raising questions as to whether the Boston Police Department captured him with too much force. I understand the explanation offered by Katharine Q. Seelye, William H. Rashbaum, and Michael Cooper. Yet, it does not ring true. A picture is worth a thousand words that will keep our ears ringing as we recoil from this photo. Images have a way of searing themselves into our memory in a way that can’t be undone. We have an emotional memory, not just a rational one that is exemplified by words.
April 17, 2013
"Confused" Is Not The Word You Are Looking For...
More at Twitchy.
- A Country
- A Suburb of London
- A U.S. State
- A City In England
- A City In New York
The irony is that these Twitter dependent teens are apparently clueless on how to Google.
April 04, 2013
Sandcrawler PSA: Being A Dirty White Boy is Bad Mkay
If you're not feeling enough white guilt, maybe this wristband will help you.
The real vocation of some people entrusted with delivering primary and secondary education is to validate this proposition: The three R’s — formerly reading, ’riting and ’rithmetic — now are racism, reproduction and recycling. Especially racism. Consider Wisconsin’s Department of Public Instruction. It evidently considers “instruction” synonymous with “propaganda,” which in the patois of progressivism is called “consciousness-raising.”I'm not doing anything to undo my privilege because I'm a Filthy Drunken Irishman and we're like totally oppressed. Its just our culture.
Wisconsin’s DPI, in collaboration with the Orwellian-named federal program VISTA (Volunteers in Service to America; the “volunteers” are paid), urged white students to wear white wristbands “as a reminder about your privilege, and as a personal commitment to explain why you wear the wristband.” A flyer that was on the DPI Web site and distributed at a DPI-VISTA training class urged whites to “put a note on your mirror or computer screen as a reminder to think about privilege,” to “make a daily list of the ways privilege played out” and to conduct an “internal dialogue” asking questions such as “How do I make myself comfortable with privilege?” and “What am I doing today to undo my privilege?”
Hat Tip: Prairie Weather.
March 22, 2013
Kiddies Page At US Dept of Education Featured A Quote From Mao
When someone noticed the quote it went viral on the net. Later, the quote was replaced with this: "Sorry, there is no quote of the of the today". Nice sentence structure you have there edumacators. Were you in a hurry or something?
The above "sentence" was replaced by a quote from Abraham Lincoln. That quote is also gone including the slot for the quote of the day
Red face of the day brought to you by the U.S. Department of Education's Little Red Book.
Thanks to @webradius
Kinda reminds me of this:
No Comparison! ==> twitter.com/adamsbaldwin/s…— Adam Baldwin (@adamsbaldwin) May 1, 2012
March 21, 2013
New Sign of Privilege? White Hair
When discussions of hair as a sign of white privilege are taken as a serious academic debate, I know it's time to get out.
March 20, 2013
Middle School Principal Cancels 'Honors Night' Because It Might Upset Students Who Didn't Make The Grades
A Massachusetts principal has been criticized for canceling his school's Honors Night, saying it could be 'devastating' to the students who worked hard, but fell short of the grades.
MyFoxBoston.com reports that David Fabrizio, principal of Ipswich Middle School, notified parents last week of his plan to eliminate the event.
"The Honors Night, which can be a great sense of pride for the recipients' families, can also be devastating to a child who has worked extremely hard in a difficult class but who, despite growth, has not been able to maintain a high grade-point average," Fabrizio penned in his first letter to parents, the station reported.
But, apparently, it's okay to devastate the kids who worked hard and achieved academic honors...
Contact Info, in case you want to let this Principal know how stupid and unfair this policy is to the children who deserve recognition:
Ipswich Middle School
David Fabrizio, Principal
130 High Street
Ipswich, MA 01938
Remember, as always, keep it civil.
Maryland School District bans birthday invitations at school - uninvited students might have their feelings hurt.
March 05, 2013
I Call Shenanigans
There has been a sudden burst of racial hate incidents in Alabama, no wait I mean Ohio.
Oberlin College in Ohio suspended classes Monday after a student reported seeing a person resembling a Ku Klux Klan member near the college's Afrikan Heritage House.The Jew hating posters are a nice touch, it might throw a few folks off for a bit.
The other incidents have included several posters containing multiple racial slurs and other derogatory statements targeting various student communities placed around campus. Other reports include various fliers placed around campus containing racist, anti-Semitic and homophobic language and swastika graffiti.
"The frequency of these reports is astounding," Gadsby said. "Over the past four weeks, there has been a concentration of bias incidents in such a short period of time.
February 13, 2013
One More Reason Why Rusty Wants to Leave Academia
My head, it hurts:
Megan Thode isn't the first Lehigh University student who was unhappy with the grade she received in a course. But she may be the first to sue to get it changed.The sad part? The story goes on to say that Lehigh might settle. So, regardless of the silliness of the claim it's going to encourage others students to sue.
The C+ that Thode was given scuttled her dream of becoming a licensed professional counselor and was part of an effort to force her out of the graduate degree program she was pursuing, said her lawyer, Richard J. Orloski, whose lawsuit seeks $1.3 million in damages.
And since I'm not exactly known for my leniency in grading, I'm guessing that in the next few years I'm totally screwed.
February 08, 2013
Who Needs A Degree?
California college students are vying for butt plugs and fake vaginas:
A public university’s Union Activities Board (UAB) paid $304.69 to purchase sex toys as prizes for a “Dirty Bingo” event, an administrator told Campus Reform on Thursday.
The items purchased as awards include butt plugs, an artificial vagina, vibrators, dildos, lubricant, edible underwear, a book on sex positions, and other items, Lauryn Collier, president of North Carolina State University’s (NCSU) UAB, told Campus Reform in a statement Thursday.
Sometimes I weep for the future of America. What next, the military?
Wasn't this from an episode of "The Office"?
January 29, 2013
University of Minnesota Offers Event To Help Females Achieve Greater Orgasms
I think it's safe to assume most of those attending the event are liberals, and nothing gives liberals a bigger orgasm than screwing the tax-payers.
From Campus Reform:
The University of Minnesota - Twin Cities (UMTC) is set to hold an event this spring designed to help its female undergraduate students achieve more and greater orgasms.
The university's official online description of the event entitled, "The Female Orgasm," describes it as open to both male and female students.
"Orgasm aficionados and beginners of all genders are welcome to come learn about everything from multiple orgasms to that mysterious G-spot," reads the description posted on the school's official events calendar.
The event is listed on the University of Minnesota's events calendar.
December 28, 2012
Judge Grants Slutty Co-Ed Restraining Order
Twenty-one year old Aubrey Ireland... won a restraining order case against her parents who have taken the idea of being involved to a whole new extremeJudging from the pic of Aubrey at the story, Daddy is going to have a tough time trying to beat Mother Nature on this one.Despite her good grades and success in musical shows, David and Julie Ireland often drove 600 miles from Leawood, Kan., to visit their daughter unannounced. They accused her of using illegal drugs, promiscuity and suffering from mental woes.he parents knew about what they saw as their daughter’s problems because, they admit, they installed monitoring software on her laptop and cellphone, allowing them to see her every keystroke
Update: Totally unrelated link to Big Boob Friday. Why? Why not?
November 30, 2012
Fly With Me!!!!
SOUTH LYON, Mich. (WJBK) -- A South Lyon performing arts teacher hit a low note with school officials. She was suspended without pay for playing a song about being gay during class.Ummmmm. Huh, huh huh huh.
It was like any other day at South Lyon's Centennial Middle School. Inside Ms. Johnson's eighth grade performing arts class. Last Wednesday, a student asked if he could play a song.
"I asked him a few questions about the song. If it was violent, if there was any profanity, and he said no. And I said this sounds like a great song to go ahead and use for the class," said Susan Johnson.
... This is one of the things in my school that we're trying to practice and we're trying to instill in our students is tolerance to diversity," she explained.
However, another student in class didn't agree with the lyrics, went to the office and complained. Before the school day ended, Johnson claims the principal and assistant superintendent told her she was suspended indefinitely without pay.