October 09, 2014

Ministry of Boobies: Purple Penguin Edition

A rare look into what Jawas discuss behind the scenes.

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In related news some of those fancy liberal types have suggested that calling boys and girls boys and girls is racist or something and instead we should call them purple penguins so as not to hurt their feeling nor promote the *hetro-normative patriarchy

Somehow we doubt that is going to help.


Urban Dictionary: Penguin Tits
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?...Penguin%20T...
Urban Dictionary
A condition that occurs when a pair of boobs are shaped in such a manner that they both point out far to the sides, leaving a large gap in between....
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Nope its totally not helping, not helping at all.

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*Hetro-normative patriarchy , see I read The Other McCain.

Hat Tip: Shirley.

By Howie at 09:18 AM | Comments |

October 01, 2014

Zionist Whores' Hot Decadent Sexuality Interfering With Brothers' Ability to Concentrate on Their Deen

*LOL, best interview with a Muj ever.

At 1:15 Drink the spiritual milk from the divine mammary.


Jawa Report file image of divine mammaries

Hat Tip: Tarek.

*It may be satire but sometimes real life and satire aren't all the far apart.

By Howie at 03:41 PM | Comments |

Behold The Powah of Da Boobs

You thought I was going to say Dark Side didn't you?


By Howie at 09:58 AM | Comments |

September 26, 2014

Yet Another Great Moment in Human History

The very first T&A shoot in Antarctica in the entire history of mankind.

No word on if Kate intends to continue on to the pole.

Heh, I said pole.

Bonus National Side Boob Day? Those sideboobs got nothing on Kate's sideboobs.

By Howie at 10:05 AM | Comments |

September 22, 2014

Ministry of Boobies: One Two Three?

She added more boobs so that men wouldn't like her? Ma'am you're doing it wrong.

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I'd still hit it.


By Howie at 11:36 AM | Comments |

September 08, 2014

Katy Perry's Boobs Go Watersliding

Because tits = hits.

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Hat Tip: Dark Lord of the Sith.

By Howie at 10:32 AM | Comments |

July 26, 2014

Total Sluts for IDF (Update: Banned)

First we brought you Hot Chicks for IDF. And now Jawa Report, pretty much the greatest blog in the universe brings you....

Total Sluts for IDF.

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Or Stands With IDF or Stands for IDF.

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I forget.

Limited time offer, not available in Gaza, The Islamic State or Taliban controlled areas.

Bonus! Sluts reading books.

Update: Facebook banned the page. Woe is me.


You can support terrorists and wish death on Jews but you can't paint I love the IDF on your boobs.


By Howie at 05:40 PM | Comments |

July 10, 2014

Burger King Bewb-Cam!

An angry Burger King cow goes on a rampage and about 45 seconds of pure bewb-cam I posted for Howie.

By DMartyr at 01:33 AM | Comments |

June 19, 2014

Jawa Report's Full World Cup Coverage

Heh, they said World Cup....

At first I was interested, then more interested, very interested. Then suddenly lost interest.

By Howie at 01:12 PM | Comments |

May 19, 2014

Fatwa This! The Real Green Birds of Paradise

You know, Islamists are always calling us the real terrorist and spreading this myth that dead muj become "Green Birds" and go strait to paradise.....

When I have the actual Green Birds of Paradise right here.

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click for bigger boobs

Fatwa?

Oh and just in case you were wondering what in the hell is taking Rusty so long, its his construction project.

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click for bigger boobs

Hat Tip: WTF.

By Howie at 12:24 PM | Comments |

May 08, 2014

Ministry of Boobies: Pulp Fiction Edition

Boobies + Bookworms = Post!

As it's sunny in New York, they've been stripping off all over the place, most recently "the rooftop sundeck of a nude-friendly, gay-friendly, everything-friendly boutique hotel", where they read books "from hardboiled crime yarns to ancient-astronaut tracts to the indescribably glorious ABRAHAM LINCOLN, PRESIDENTIAL FUCK MACHINE".

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"Conversation ensued … Photos were taken. Relaxation was had. Why can't every Saturday be a naked-with-friends-in-the-sun Saturday?" they write on their blog.

Yeah why not? Boobies! Set them free!(NSFW).

MOAR! Fatwaworthy?

By Howie at 11:10 AM | Comments |

February 14, 2014

To: Troops in Afghanistan From: The Jawa Report

Because it gets lonely in the Stan. Very, very lonely.

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Happy Valentines Day guys (and Female Air Force Pilots)!

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 07:05 PM | Comments |

February 13, 2014

Hot Olympic Skier Jackie Chamoun Boobies Cause Outrage in Lebanon

The Lede:

Lebanon’s fractured sense of national identity was on full display this week, as bloggers rallied online to defend the honor of a female Olympian, the skier Jackie Chamoun, accused by the country’s sports minister of tarnishing the nation’s image by posing for seminude photographs on the slopes outside Beirut.

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As the blogger Abir Ghattas explained, the photographs of the young skier and a colleague, and a risqué promotional video for the calendar they were used in, were unknown in Lebanon until a television channel, Al Jadeed, published them on Monday under the headline, “Scandal — Lebanese Skiing Champions Are Nude Starlets!”

Oh the horror!


NSFW

More images of Jackie Chamoun below the fold.

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By Howie at 10:24 AM | Comments |

February 06, 2014

Babes of the IDF: Part of a Continuing Series

Howie is having a bad day, so I'm posting this pic the IDF tweeted today.


By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 05:53 PM | Comments |

January 21, 2014

Where's Howie? Body Builder Blames Boobs For Broken Legs

Russian Dimitri Moskovich ended up with two broken legs at the weekend after falling from a rope the 48-year-old had climbed so many times before.

"I was looking at a very nice topless girl and I forgot what I was there for and next thing my legs were completely smashed," he told the Daily Telegraph while laid up in St Vincent's Hospital. (Source)

By DMartyr at 11:09 AM | Comments |

December 13, 2013

Danish Prime Minister Goes Basic Instinct on Obama

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The Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt upskirt video . Kinda funny.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 02:47 PM | Comments |

November 19, 2013

Vote Hadzovic!

She's got a platform we'd all like to grab onto from behind!

If sex appeal is power, then this Balkan beauty might have her eyes on the presidency.

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Serbian politician Vanja Hadzovic posed for a titillating photo shoot for a popular tabloid newspaper that has roused passions in the southern European Republic.

More and more and more and more here and here.

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I'm not sure what her politics are, but I believe in it!

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By Howie at 01:00 PM | Comments |

November 01, 2013

Science! Men AND Women Read Jawa Report For The Eye Candy

Sorry for the delay blogging this morning I've had a heck of s time deciding with images to put with this story, its been rough.

News.com.au:

SCIENCE has confirmed what women have known for years - men really do look at women's bodies more than their faces.

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But a study published in the journal Sex Roles shows that women are just as guilty of staring at other women's bodies more than their faces.
The US study took 29 women and 36 men who were fitted an eye-tracking system which measures how many milliseconds the eyes remain on a certain spot.

Photographs of 10 women were shown, each with three digitally altered body shapes - curvaceous, much less curvaceous and in-between.

Both men and women focused on women's chests and waists.
Those women with bigger breasts, narrower waists and bigger hips prompted longer looks.

Study in this critical area of science continues below the fold.

Update:

No six-packs. Like six-packs.
Posted by: Valerie at November 01, 2013 11:26 AM
The reader is the boss you know, added below the fold.

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By Howie at 09:47 AM | Comments |

October 31, 2013

Ministry of Boobies: Spooky Edition

Somehow given my life experience I suspect this lady isn't the first to find herself scantily clad is a graveyard. But this time its for a good cause.

A Polish photographer did not break the law by conducting a photo shoot with a half-naked model at the Jewish cemetery in Checiny, Polish lawmakers held this week after a complaint was filed.

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The city prosecutor in the Polish city of Kielce decided this week that Polish photographer Lukasz Szczygielski did not intend to insult the religious sensibilities of the cemetery of the Jewish community and that his main objective was art when he photographed a topless model at the Jewish cemetery in Checiny in August, TVN 24 reported.

At the time, Szczygielski explained that he wanted to draw attention to the neglected cemetery in the southern Poland town.

All the controversial images are here

Also a NSFW set of Szczygielski's work is here. Tough job that photography. Anyway feel free to surf through those, because Halloween is spooky and nothing calms your irrational fear like boobies.

By Howie at 01:15 PM | Comments |

September 06, 2013

Ministry of Boobies: Where Have You Been Young Man? Edition

Rusty has been, you know worried about me due to my absence. So in order to reassure him I hereby present Katy Perry's boobs for discussion.


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Yeah I'm not really into pop, so IMO the song's not that good but the boobs are nice, real nice. And she didn't even twerk once. Which is the difference between sexy hot and whorish borish.

See Rusty, I'm all good.

By Howie at 08:01 AM | Comments |

August 01, 2013

Asking For It

A social experiment in sex - a guy asking girls for sex:

A girl asking guys for sex:

This just goes to show that old double standard, when a man has sex with a lot of woman, he's a stud. When a woman has sex with a lot of men, she's a slut. But when a woman asks for sex from a lot of different men, it's an offer most men can't refuse. But when a man asks for sex, well, that's just really creepy.

By DMartyr at 10:53 AM | Comments |

July 17, 2013

Buzzkill: Boobie Hater Calls Police To Report Redneck Heaven

Vodka Pundit:

A patron called Lewisville police after what they claim happened during a stop at the restaurant and bar called Redneck Heaven. When officers went to the establishment to investigate they found female waitresses serving customers with only body paint and pasties covering their breasts.

Pocahontas?
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Yes!

(Vodka Pundit)So now we’ll have a bunch of ignorant politicians debating the weighty matter of exactly what geometry of the female breast away from the nipple is allowed to be exposed and what constitutes proper coverage of said side- and/or under-boob.

I’ll tell you who the boobs are: The people who went to the cops instead of walking back to their car.

After further research of this so called Redneck Heaven, I believe this may have been the offending angel right here.

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I love her. Thanks to the uptight prude, for without that asshole I might have never known. And also I predict a huge increase in Rednecks making it into heaven.

By Howie at 07:39 AM | Comments |

June 27, 2013

Ministry of Jiggly: Death Star Edition

Hat Tip: Rsluty.

By Howie at 02:13 PM | Comments |

June 13, 2013

Ministry of Boobies: KU Sends Cease and Desist Letter to @KUBoobsBs

Viral Read:

It seems that the University of Kansas has some issues with a Twitter account called @KUboobs. The feed for this twitter account has scantily clad females showing off their assets with the KU emblem on them.

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click for huge boobs

The school has sent a Cease and Desist order to the owner of the Twitter account. They aren’t messing around:
But school officials have reportedly had enough of the so-called “boobment,” and they fired off a cease-and-desist order to its overseer, Ken Soap, on Tuesday.
As explained here the basis for the order is KU's copyright and the fact that KUBoobs sells or did sell T-Shirts and Wristbands to raise money for Breast Cancer.

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So the uptight boobie hating Jayhack administration is trying to shut down like the greatest twitter feel every on the planet.

But you don't have to buy a Tshirt to to help, you can donate to the cause here.

So far these young ladies have raised $270. That's shameful really for all they've put into it. So help save the KUBboobs.

Hat Tip: The Other McCain.

By Howie at 10:29 AM | Comments |

June 11, 2013

Proof Edward Snowden is an Idiot

Snowden left the young and hot Lindsay Mills at the alter so to speak.

Daily Mail: The whistleblower who leaked the NSA's secrets thought about marrying his girlfriend and had previously taken her on a romantic break to Hong Kong - where he was last seen fearing arrest.

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Family friends told MailOnline that Ed Snowden, 29, wanted to be with stunning pole dancer Lindsay Mills for the rest of his life but took the decision to throw it all away to expose the US government.

They were deeply in love and on her blog Mills, 28, dotingly called him her ‘man of mystery’ who she had followed around the world for the last four years.
On Monday she took to the blog - where she has posted dozens of photos of herself semi-naked - to tell of her heartbreak.

Mills wrote: 'My world has opened and closed all at once. Leaving me lost at sea without a compass.

Her blog is called lsjourney.com its introduction reads "Adventures of a world-traveling, pole-dancing super hero."

And he left this girl, to save the world from itself? Um, yeah.

Her blog includes images like this one.

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The blog also includes writings but that's not important right now.

By Howie at 08:17 AM | Comments |

May 23, 2013

Ministry of Boobies: The Alice Eve INto Darkness Gratuitously Skimpy Underwear Scandal

It seems there is some sort of problem with this?

'Star Trek Into Darkness' screenwriter Damon Lindelof regrets 'gratuitous' Alice Eve underwear scene.

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Film had been hit with criticism over scene, but actress herself defended director J.J. Abrams' handling of gender roles overall.

I thought Star Trek was famous for hot chicks in gratuitously skimpy outfits?

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I mean if its hittable Captain Kirk hits it. Still I think this calls for furter study.

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Hat Tip: Sonny.

By Howie at 03:30 PM | Comments |

May 19, 2013

Berlin: Femen Protesting Barbie Dreamhouse Exhibit Burn A Barbie Doll On A Cross

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Mommy, why is that woman burning a Barbie Doll?

For some, it's a dream in pink. For others, it's a monument to misogyny. The Barbie Dreamhouse opened its doors in Berlin on Thursday, and demonstrators and journalists were out in force. Femen also made an appearance -- to burn Barbie on the cross.

In the end, someone did get hurt -- and in the center of the events at the Barbie Dreamhouse Experience on Thursday afternoon stood a gigantic, pink high-heeled shoe. The pump was actually a fountain of sorts, and the emblem of the life-sized dollhouse that opened its doors to the public on Thursday near Berlin's Alexanderplatz square.

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[Continue reading]

Mommy, why are those men smiling at that woman?

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More images here[Prolly NSFW]

h/t Polliwogette

By Stable Hand at 09:45 AM | Comments |

May 16, 2013

Caption Contest: Debbie Does Damascus

Give it your best p0rn parody movie title. My title actually comes from the LiveLeak comments (thanks, Donegal!) where I posted the video. [Update: LiveLeak deleted the video, which is very unusual for the site.]

(NSFW! Unless you normally view p0rn at work, in which case it is very safe.)

Fatwas will be issued, unlike the last few times I promised fatwas and never delivered. ;)

Below the fold, if you are feeling a bit guilty for watching, this video will show you the Muslim way to avoid p0rn at work.

By DMartyr at 12:38 PM | Comments |

May 07, 2013

Moar Boobehz and Kittehz

Because its the internetz.

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Jazz Hands.

Hat Tip: Irish Tea.

By Howie at 09:07 AM | Comments |

May 02, 2013

Ministry of Boobies: Hoo Hoos on the Choo Choo Edition

Jawa Report covering the most important news of the day.

NY Daily News:

Morning commuters in Germany got an eyeful of flesh when a stunning model boarded a commuter train without a single stitch of clothing on.
Straphangers in Dusseldorf barely batted an eye when the gorgeous brunette strode aboard the train wearing only a pair of black eyeglasses on Tuesday, Britain's The Sun reported.

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In place of clothes, the model had words like "bra,” "shirt" and jacket scrawled in marker on her body.

The X-rated stunt was part of a performance art piece cooked up by Swiss artist Milo Moire.

Full NSFW I guess totally 100% nekkid video below the fold. Because, you know art.

In related news, Miley Sirus touches herself.

By Howie at 09:29 AM | Comments |

April 21, 2013

Blog Sabbath Caption Contest War PrOn Edition
Update: Fatwas Issued

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Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against dahozho for:

Ok, G.I. Joe, this is ok, but do you have any goat porn?
The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies" fatwa issued moe hamhead against for:
ayrab: oh yeah baby, you got the meatballs? i got the sauce
The "why u insult holly quoran" fatwa issued against garrett for:
Achmed : "Tara Reid's nipples don't look 'halal' if you know what I'm saying..."
The "mojahedin will separate your dirty head from your dirty heart" fatwa issued against 11B40 for:
Geetings:

Looks like it's time to get the old eyes checked again. For a moment there, I thought the soldier was reading IMAM magazine..


Image credit Tzvi via A.M.H.

And yes, I will get to those I haven't issued fatwas for yet, promise.

By Stable Hand at 01:51 PM | Comments |

April 11, 2013

Sandcrawler PSA: Bras Make Your Boobs Sag

No really, I swear!

Oh. My. God. We’ve been played for boobs!…

From Counsel & Heal, Christine Hsu reporting, we learn the horrific [but titillating] news [tip of the fedora to Matt 'Bazoombas' Drudge]:


Women have long been told that a good bra can help support the chest, relieve back pain and prevent sagging. However, a new 15-year French study reveals the opposite: bras do little to reduce back pain and, over time, they can actually make breasts sag even more.

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Researcher Prof. Jean-Denis Rouillon, a sports science expert from the University of Besançon in eastern France claims that "bras are a false necessity," according to The Local.

"Medically, physiologically, anatomically – breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity," said Rouillon. "On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra."

And it only took him 15 years of study, good work if you can get it.

Hat Tip: Sirius.

By Howie at 09:04 AM | Comments |

April 04, 2013

Boobies Against Islamists

Coming to a Mosque or Tunisian embassy near you.

BERLIN: Bare-breasted activists staged rallies in front of mosques and Tunisian embassies across Europe Thursday against what they called an Islamist crackdown on Arab women's rights.

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A Femen activist burns a Salafist flag in front of the Great Mosque of Paris, on April 3, 2013.

"And we'll fight against them. And our boobs will be stronger than their stones."

The rallies targeted in particular the case of a Tunisian activist calling herself Amina Tyler who sparked a scandal last month when she posted pictures of herself online with the words "My body belongs to me" and "Fuck your morals" emblazoned across her naked breasts.

Probably NSFW in boobie fearing America.

Why u insult holly banner of Islam?

Previous: 'Quarantine Her"! Says Tunisian Islamist Regarding FEMEN Aminia's Topless Photo.
Arab Spring! Introducing Femen Tunisia

More Fatwa seeking boobies below the fold.

By Howie at 10:41 AM | Comments |

March 26, 2013

Try The New Fender Ultra Support Guitar!

The latest in their Wireless Push Up Telecaster Stratocaster series.

I'm pretty sure that was the Greatest Youtube Video Evah!

I'm sorry Dani, its not you its me.

By Howie at 12:23 PM | Comments |

March 23, 2013

'Quarantine Her"! Says Tunisian Islamist Regarding FEMEN Aminia's Topless Photo

Castrate him for offending her! Says me

A Tunisian Salafi preacher has called for a 19-year old girl who posted her topless pictures on Facebook to be “quarantined” and stoned to death before she starts “an epidemic.”

Tunisian newspaper AssabahNews quoted Salafi preacher Alami Adel, who heads the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, saying: “According to God’s law, she deserves 80 to 100 lashes, but what she committed is worth much more than that. She deserves to be stoned to death and she must be quarantined because what she did is an epidemic.”[More]

Let's hope this 'epidemic' continues to catch on. No one controls a woman's body except for that woman. Islamists hate losing control of females.

Sadly, her parents are also part of the problem.

Amina has been delivered by her parents to a psychiatric hospital in Tunis, according to reports received by FEMEN leader Inna Shevchenko in Paris and reported by the U.S. based magazine the Atlantic.

Tunisian media said that if Amina committed the offence in Tunisia, she could be punished by up to two years in prison and be given a fine between $60 and $600.

A petition and an international day of action on April 4 to highlight the threats against Amina have been organized by activists.[More]

h/t @meankitteh1

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Click for NSFW nips
Above from Howie's post a few days ago

Arab Spring FTW!

By Stable Hand at 06:15 PM | Comments |

March 18, 2013

Arab Spring! Introducing Femen Tunisia

Tunisia Live:

Last Monday, a 19year old Tunisian woman named Amina posted on Facebook a photo of her naked upper body bearing the slogan “my body belongs to me, and is not the source of the honor of anyone.” She announced that she is representing the Femen movement in Tunisia.

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Click for NSFW nips

Amina, the Tunisian woman who posed topless, told Ettounsiya TV: “In July, I saw the photos of Femen and I started reading about them. I liked that their message was radical. It was the first time I saw women who are not posing naked for the camera but are angrily protesting. I contacted them and Skyped several times.”

She added, “if I posted a picture of myself wearing a t-shirt with that slogan, it wouldn’t have any impact. I want the message to be read this way. (A woman’s) body is hers — not her father’s, her husband’s or her brother’s.”

Femen Tunisia twitter feed. Femen NSFW protest boobie gallery here.

Hat Tip: Psycke.

By Howie at 08:45 AM | Comments |