May 16, 2013
Caption Contest: Debbie Does Damascus
Give it your best p0rn parody movie title. My title actually comes from the LiveLeak comments (thanks, Donegal!) where I posted the video. [Update: LiveLeak deleted the video, which is very unusual for the site.]
(NSFW! Unless you normally view p0rn at work, in which case it is very safe.)
Fatwas will be issued, unlike the last few times I promised fatwas and never delivered. ;)
Below the fold, if you are feeling a bit guilty for watching, this video will show you the Muslim way to avoid p0rn at work.
May 07, 2013
Moar Boobehz and Kittehz
Hat Tip: Irish Tea.
May 02, 2013
Ministry of Boobies: Hoo Hoos on the Choo Choo Edition
Jawa Report covering the most important news of the day.
Morning commuters in Germany got an eyeful of flesh when a stunning model boarded a commuter train without a single stitch of clothing on.Full NSFW I guess totally 100% nekkid video below the fold. Because, you know art.
Straphangers in Dusseldorf barely batted an eye when the gorgeous brunette strode aboard the train wearing only a pair of black eyeglasses on Tuesday, Britain's The Sun reported.
In place of clothes, the model had words like "bra,” "shirt" and jacket scrawled in marker on her body.
The X-rated stunt was part of a performance art piece cooked up by Swiss artist Milo Moire.
In related news, Miley Sirus touches herself.
April 21, 2013
Blog Sabbath Caption Contest War PrOn EditionUpdate: Fatwas Issued
Fatwas will be issued.
Update: Fatwas issued:
The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against dahozho for:
Ok, G.I. Joe, this is ok, but do you have any goat porn?The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies" fatwa issued moe hamhead against for:
ayrab: oh yeah baby, you got the meatballs? i got the sauceThe "why u insult holly quoran" fatwa issued against garrett for:
Achmed : "Tara Reid's nipples don't look 'halal' if you know what I'm saying..."The "mojahedin will separate your dirty head from your dirty heart" fatwa issued against 11B40 for:
Looks like it's time to get the old eyes checked again. For a moment there, I thought the soldier was reading IMAM magazine..
And yes, I will get to those I haven't issued fatwas for yet, promise.
April 11, 2013
Sandcrawler PSA: Bras Make Your Boobs Sag
Oh. My. God. We’ve been played for boobs!…And it only took him 15 years of study, good work if you can get it.
From Counsel & Heal, Christine Hsu reporting, we learn the horrific [but titillating] news [tip of the fedora to Matt 'Bazoombas' Drudge]:
Women have long been told that a good bra can help support the chest, relieve back pain and prevent sagging. However, a new 15-year French study reveals the opposite: bras do little to reduce back pain and, over time, they can actually make breasts sag even more.
Researcher Prof. Jean-Denis Rouillon, a sports science expert from the University of Besançon in eastern France claims that "bras are a false necessity," according to The Local.
"Medically, physiologically, anatomically – breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity," said Rouillon. "On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra."
Hat Tip: Sirius.
April 04, 2013
Boobies Against Islamists
BERLIN: Bare-breasted activists staged rallies in front of mosques and Tunisian embassies across Europe Thursday against what they called an Islamist crackdown on Arab women's rights.Probably NSFW in boobie fearing America.
A Femen activist burns a Salafist flag in front of the Great Mosque of Paris, on April 3, 2013.
"And we'll fight against them. And our boobs will be stronger than their stones."
The rallies targeted in particular the case of a Tunisian activist calling herself Amina Tyler who sparked a scandal last month when she posted pictures of herself online with the words "My body belongs to me" and "Fuck your morals" emblazoned across her naked breasts.
Why u insult holly banner of Islam?
More Fatwa seeking boobies below the fold.
March 26, 2013
Try The New Fender Ultra Support Guitar!
The latest in their Wireless Push Up
Telecaster Stratocaster series.
I'm pretty sure that was the Greatest Youtube Video Evah!
I'm sorry Dani, its not you its me.
March 23, 2013
'Quarantine Her"! Says Tunisian Islamist Regarding FEMEN Aminia's Topless Photo
A Tunisian Salafi preacher has called for a 19-year old girl who posted her topless pictures on Facebook to be “quarantined” and stoned to death before she starts “an epidemic.”Let's hope this 'epidemic' continues to catch on. No one controls a woman's body except for that woman. Islamists hate losing control of females.
Tunisian newspaper AssabahNews quoted Salafi preacher Alami Adel, who heads the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, saying: “According to God’s law, she deserves 80 to 100 lashes, but what she committed is worth much more than that. She deserves to be stoned to death and she must be quarantined because what she did is an epidemic.”[More]
Sadly, her parents are also part of the problem.
Amina has been delivered by her parents to a psychiatric hospital in Tunis, according to reports received by FEMEN leader Inna Shevchenko in Paris and reported by the U.S. based magazine the Atlantic.h/t @meankitteh1
Tunisian media said that if Amina committed the offence in Tunisia, she could be punished by up to two years in prison and be given a fine between $60 and $600.
A petition and an international day of action on April 4 to highlight the threats against Amina have been organized by activists.[More]
Click for NSFW nips
Arab Spring FTW!
March 18, 2013
Arab Spring! Introducing Femen Tunisia
Last Monday, a 19year old Tunisian woman named Amina posted on Facebook a photo of her naked upper body bearing the slogan “my body belongs to me, and is not the source of the honor of anyone.” She announced that she is representing the Femen movement in Tunisia.
Click for NSFW nips
Amina, the Tunisian woman who posed topless, told Ettounsiya TV: “In July, I saw the photos of Femen and I started reading about them. I liked that their message was radical. It was the first time I saw women who are not posing naked for the camera but are angrily protesting. I contacted them and Skyped several times.”
She added, “if I posted a picture of myself wearing a t-shirt with that slogan, it wouldn’t have any impact. I want the message to be read this way. (A woman’s) body is hers — not her father’s, her husband’s or her brother’s.”
Hat Tip: Psycke.
March 17, 2013
Google Maps Introduces 'Street Ho View'
You know, for people who like to cruise the seedy virtual underworld of street sex. Google is currently taking applications for beta testers, which is why we probably won't see Rusty, Vinnie, or Howie today.
Click image to see the entire drive by. The location above is 105 Temperance Street, Manchester, England. "Street Ho View" is not available with Google Earth. I know because I tried it.
March 14, 2013
Sandcrawler PSA: This Pic is Not Katy Perry Rubbing Her Vajayjay
Hat tip: RBPundit.
March 05, 2013
Hamas Is Afraid Of Female Marathon Runners
JERUSALEM -- A U.N aid agency canceled the Gaza marathon on Tuesday after the Palestinian territory's militant Hamas rulers banned women from participating in the annual sporting event.I'm sure Free Free Palestine activists are trying to figure out a way to blame this on the Juice.
UNWRA, which assists Palestinian refugees and also sponsors and organizes the event, announced that plans for the race next month have been scrapped because of the Hamas demand that women be barred.[More...]
February 16, 2013
KTO? What TKO?
They tell me there is some knocked out dude in this video, but after viewing it 127 times I still don't see it.
February 13, 2013
Democrat: Nothing Inappropriate About Tweeting Twinkie
He's 62 she's 24. Its like totally normal If you're a Democrat.
According to a tweet captured by the nonpartisan Sunlight Foundation’s Politiwoops site, Cohen replied to Brink, “pleased u r watching. Ilu” The tweet was deleted after three minutes.I guess the spokesman is right, its probably not inappropriate, just kinda creepy.
Both Wikipedia and UrbanDictionary.com define “ilu” as Internet slang for either “I love you” or “I like you.”
Click for more Twinkie
In another message sent Wednesday morning, Cohen wrote again to Brink on Twitter: “nice to know you were watchin SOTU (state of the union.) Happy Valentines beautiful girl. Ilu.” That message was deleted within 15 minutes of being posted.
Confirmed: Terrorists Don't Like Boobies & Candy
There is an alert in Mumbai over fears of a terror attack on Valentine's Day
MUMBAI: The Mumbai police has sounded a high alert after the control room received calls claiming that six terrorists have sneaked into the city and may carry out a major attack at Juhu Chowpatty or Bandra Bandstand on Valentine's Day[...]h/t NTA
"The Pakistani terrorist outfit, Lashkar-e-Taiba (LeT), has given an open threat after the hanging of Pakistani terrorist Ajmal Kasab; now there is the Afzal Guru case," said a senior police official. Jamaat-ud-Dawaa and LeT chief Hafiz Saeed, accused mastermind of the 26/11 attacks, delivered threats in Pakistan and strongly protested after Guru's execution, claiming it amounted to "judicial terrorism".[More...]
February 12, 2013
Boobies Against the Pope
Heh, Eight Femen activists undressed and flashed their breasts inside the iconic Notre Dame cathedral in Paris.
Angry NSFW Boobies Against the Pope under the fold. LOL.
February 08, 2013
Congressional Staffer Fired For Tweet
His mistake? Inadvertently making his boss appear to like boobies.
A spokesman for Idaho Rep. Raul Labrador has reportedly been fired for mistakenly tweeting from his boss' account during the Super Bowl about a risque ad for the CBS sitcom "2 Broke Girls."Ooopsie!
“Me likey Broke Girls,” Phil Hardy, who had been operating Labrador's Twitter account, tweeted Sunday after seeing the spot that featured the show's stars—Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs—pole-dancing to Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me."
February 06, 2013
Egyptian PM: Dirty Breasts Cause Diarrhea
The inability of women in rural Egypt to clean their breasts is causing a diarrhoea epidemic, according to the country's Prime Minister Hisham Qandil.
Qandil was speaking about the spate of recent epidemics in Egypt's rural communities. During the address, he said he had witnessed children suffering from diarrhoea immediately after they have been breastfed because their mothers were unable to clean themselves probably.
Qandil added he would personally volunteer to wash the breasts of every woman in rural Egypt. For the children.
Kuffar men everywhere are smacking themselves in the head saying, "Why didn't I think of that?"
January 28, 2013
Military Training Turns German Soldiers Into Girly Men
An elite military Guards battalion is growing boobs because of the way they drill, a shock military medical report had revealed in Germany.
Dozens of soldiers in the Wachbataillon unit - which performs close drill displays at official events - are said to be stricken with a condition which stimulates male mammary glands.
Experts say the repeated slapping of the soldiers' heavy rifles in the same spot on the left side of their chests during drills has stimulated the glands to produce hormones, causing boobs to sprout on one side only.
The condition - called one sided gynecomastia - has been diagnosed in 74 per cent of battalion members who presented to army medics with concerns over the growths.
Director of plastic surgery at the military hospital in Berlin, Professor Bjorn Krapohl, confirmed: "There is a very significant link between the activity in the Guard Battalion and the development of the breast on the left side.
Crapola Krapohl sounds legit to me...
Unfortunately, while researching this story, I discovered there is a whole website dedicated to moobs. Enjoy, if that's your thing.
January 24, 2013
Boobies! Member Of Egypt's Muslim Brotherhood Demanded Flight Crew Stop 'Racy' In-Flight Film
Ahmed Fahmy, a member of the Muslim Brotherhood’s Freedom and Justice Party (FJP) and parliament’s upper house speaker, “caused a stir during a flight from Sudan to Egypt when he called on the plane’s staff to stop screening a movie featuring ‘hot scenes’.”Arab Spring!
Unfortunately for Fahmy, his political sway does not extend six miles up[...]
The article doesn’t name the film that was showing, but it does contain a comment by a reader who identified himself as “Aladdin, Egypt,” who writes, “BH should amputates the hands or heads of those managers who allowed such explicit movies.”
January 17, 2013
Ministry of Boobies: Eva Longoria's Wardrobe Malfunction (uncensored!)
Yeah yeah I know, I'm a blog whore. And also Eva has nice little pink perky nipples(NSFW).
January 10, 2013
He's at Dragoncon checking out the space boobs.
January 04, 2013
Egyptian Islamists Seek to Strip Alia al-Mahdy's Citizenship
An Egyptian activist filed a complaint to the general prosecutor calling for the citizenship strip of Egypt’s controversial Alia al-Mahdy, commonly known as the “nude poser,” for protesting naked against the country’s newly-adopted constitution.Here is slightly censored version of the protest.
The plaintiff, Mahmoud Abdel Rahman, accused Mahdy, who protested naked in front of the Egyptian embassy in Sweden, of tarnishing the image of Egypt and deriding religion. Abdel Rahman also called for placing Mahdy on a watch list so she can be arrested when entering Egypt.
In his charges, Abdel Rahman stated that Mahdy “wrote on her naked body statements condemning the constitution with the help of two female activists from FEMEN, an international women’s rights organization.”
He added that Mahdy then headed to the Egyptian embassy in the Swedish capital Stockholm and the three of them stood there stark naked.
“By standing there naked, she tarnished the image of Egypt and derided religion,” Abdel Rahman wrote in his complaint.
Uncensored full frontal NSFW Fatwa This! version below the fold.
December 24, 2012
Science! Boobies Make You Smarter
A study by a Chicago university sociologist of 1,200 women found that large-breasted women tend to have higher intelligence. The study divided the women into five groups ranging from virtually flat-chested to extra-large breasts.Are we sure we're not really just measuring the drop in the male scientists IQs? We all know that large breasted women have an inverse affect o male intelligence.
Image credit Sodahead
The results revealed that the big-breasted women had an overall higher I.Q.—about 10 points—than the lesser endowed members of the study. Women with average-sized breasts also beat out those that were in the smallest size group.
Hat Tip: Instapundit.
A Travesty of Justice
Hot dental assistant fired, court upholds when your wife makes you fire the hot chick.
After working as a dental assistant for ten years, Melissa Nelson was fired for being too "irresistible" and a "threat" to her employer's marriage.Yeah I can understand why Mrs. Dentist felt threatened.
"I think it is completely wrong," Nelson said. "I think it is sending a message that men can do whatever they want in the work force."
On Friday, the all-male Iowa State Supreme Court ruled that James Knight, Nelson's boss, was within his legal rights when he fired her, affirming the decision of a lower court.
But its bad for business, I mean when I go to the dentist and hot assistant wraps her arm around my head and pulls my cranium up against her breast so she can get to work, then and only then do I feel safe enough to be drilled and filled.
She goes, I go somewhere else. Capiche?
December 23, 2012
Ministry of Boobies With Ashley
Alternate title: How-To Field Strip and Clean an AR-15 Rifle With Ashley:
If you are at work, well, watch at your own risk:
h/t CDR M
December 19, 2012
Sandcrawler PSA: Squeezing Breasts May Stop Cancer
That is all.
Hat Tip: DMartyr.
December 12, 2012
Spanish authorities say they have arrested a Panamanian woman arriving at Barcelona airport with 1.38 kilograms (3 pounds) of cocaine concealed in breast implants.heh.
Hat Tip: Drudge.
December 06, 2012
He's practicing for his American Idol audition. This is his rendition of "Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You":
Indian Islamic Clerics Issue Fatwa Against Hot Receptionists
I don't really get why Islamists always ban those best equipped to do the job they are from? Dawn:
According to the Press Trust of India, the Darul Uloom Deoband has issued a fatwa against the appointment of Muslim women as receptionists. The seminary issued the fatwa after a Pakistan-based company submitted a query on Nov 29 regarding the appointment of Muslim women as receptionists, said the report.More hot receptionist study material here.
... the post of receptionist required constant interactions with people, and thus should not be practiced.
December 04, 2012
Ministry of Boobies: Kate Upton Palate Cleanser
Yeah that last post was depressing, in fact the whole world is depressing, except for German Vogue.
Maybe boobies and puppies? I dunno.
November 08, 2012
Ministry of Boobies: Allison Pill Tweets Boobies
On Wednesday, the star of HBO's "The Newsroom" treated her Twitter followers to a topless photo of herself that she claims was accidentally posted on the social networking site.
The photo shows the blond actress lying in bed and wearing nothing but a grin and thick-framed glasses.
Though Pill quickly deleted the tweet, the photo(NSFW) had already made its rounds across the Internet.
In other news, Lindsay Lohan's boobies will be charged with a misdemeanor for telling the popo they were not driving when they wrecked her Porshe.
October 29, 2012
Sandcrawler PSA: Now Trending
Also gravity is eternal and constant.
That is all.
See, I did come back.
October 20, 2012
Ministry of Boobies: G Spirits
Continued below the fold, for the same reason:
Get better soon Howie cuz I really don't like dealing with Rsluty by myself.
For the rest of you damn boobie perverts, I guess you will be stuck with me, unless Rsluty and the rest will post some.
But, unfortunately, they are too damn busy staring at em instead of posting em.
October 15, 2012
Ministry of Boobies: Guidance Counselor Fired for Slutty Pics
Tiffany Webb thought her past as a lingerie model more than 17 years ago was behind her, but those racy photos caught up to her. Webb's attorney Stewart Karlin says The New York State Department of Education terminated Webb's employment from Murry Bergtraum High School last year, because scantily clad photos of her are still on the internet.The New York Post has more.
Webb, now 37, said she posed in seductive undies between age 18 to 20, but stopped modeling several years before she became a city teacher in 1999. She has worked in elementary, middle and high schools.Well apparently she has not asked the NY Post to take those down. Hmmm....
But the photos — virtually all Photoshopped or altered, she says — kept popping up without her permission on sleazy sites such as “Mo Girls Entertainment” and “Showgirlz Exclusive,” even though she demanded their removal.
I've a personal interest in when Boobies get fired. You see when I was little I stuttered a bit, so they sent me to the speech therapist. I went to a really small school in a really small town. But we had a really really pretty young speech therapist just out of college. And I got to spend two hour with this angel every week. Cured baby! Stuttering gone! Replaced with new healthy boobie obsession!
But Coach was reading Playboy in the Coaches office and low and behold there was our new speech therapist. So did they fire the coach for, you know, reading porn in his office? Hell no. They fired my speech therapist for the Playboy pics.
I was heartbroken by this terrible injustice! So its kind of become a personal crusade for me if you will.
Anyway I've been doing some research to find out just what this scandal is all about. And as far as I can tell the pics are pretty strait forward and the school seems to be overreacting.
October 11, 2012
Tits for Mitt!
I'm pretty sure this is the best Youtube video ever.
All you had to do was ask honey....... now, what was it you wanted again?
And also 30,000 Obama trolls hate boobies.
October 06, 2012
Caption This: Hillary's Boobies
Hillary seems interested...
September 26, 2012
Sandcrawler PSA: Dealing With the Blahs
You know sometimes when you're feeling tired and and kind of down and then....
For some odd reason, you feel much much better.
September 20, 2012
Muslim Cleric Discovers The Effects Of PMS
The woman was, no doubt, a racist who had no respect for his religious sensibilities...
An Iranian cleric said he was beaten by a woman in the northern province of Semnan after giving her a warning for being “badly covered,” the state-run Mehr news agency reported.
Hojatoleslam Ali Beheshti said he encountered the woman in the street while on his way to the mosque in the town of Shahmirzad, and asked her to cover herself up, to which she replied “you, cover your eyes,” according to Mehr. The cleric repeated his warning, which he said prompted her to insult and push him.
Beheshti said he was hospitalized for three days.
If only Iranian men had the balls this woman has...
Holy shiite! She beat the crap out of him!
September 11, 2012
Ministry of Boobies: Nipplegate Edtion
We always strive to post a lot of boobies, yet stay PG-13. That's a delicate balance.
The New Yorker has a Facebook page for our cartoons, which a lot of you like, or maybe it’s just one person with a lot of time on their hands, liking the page over and over again. But in any case, it’s a whole lotta like. We like that.I was going to really work hard on this post and add images of the offending squiggles, some boobie examples for more research and all that. Then I was thwarted by our server and the man. So you'll just have to settle for this link.
What we don’t like is that we got temporarily banned from Facebook for violating their community standards on “Nudity and Sex,” by posting this Mick Stevens cartoon: