August 01, 2016
Jawa Report Officially Endorses Donald Trump
Someone is attempting to make Trump President by pointing out that Melania was once in a hot artsy sexy good gay photograph.
Um, so that does it, this Trump guy makes Bill Clinton look like an amateur. He picks this.
He picks this girl.
Who keeps and turns in his DNA.
So who's the better picker here? We're all in for Trump now.
March 26, 2016
Where's Dr. Rusty Shackleford? Academic Sacrifice Edition
Rusty finally got the Federal grant he was looking for!
Its for the greater public good you know.
June 05, 2015
Come See The Violence Inherent in the System
The combatants were former lovers who had been going back and forth on Facebook recently in regard to a new woman Willdon was dating, Kamia Jones, 20.Hat Tip: Dan.
When the groups arrived, members of one clique pulled knives. A girl from the other group had a bottle of drain cleaner.
One woman threw the sulfuric-acid substance all over the place — burning herself and five others. The burn victims were rushed to Weill Cornell Medical Center. The stabbed women went to Kings County Hospital.
October 01, 2014
Zionist Whores' Hot Decadent Sexuality Interfering With Brothers' Ability to Concentrate on Their Deen
*LOL, best interview with a Muj ever.
At 1:15 Drink the spiritual milk from the divine mammary.
Jawa Report file image of divine mammaries
Hat Tip: Tarek.
*It may be satire but sometimes real life and satire aren't all the far apart.
May 08, 2014
The Last Straw! Feminists Destroying Good Gay For Everyone
A lifestyle once marginalized, depicted as strangely exotic — the steamy stuff of dancer Draga Hamilton’s “passion” with Jo Stanhope in the 1957 pulp novel Queer Affair — lesbianism is nowadays far more common, especially among young women who have grown weary of pervasive disappointment, exploitation and abuse in the “liberated” world of heterosexual hedonism.THIS! SHALL! NOT! STAND!
Lesbianism as a political expression of feminist consciousness is less interesting than lesbianism as an exotic perversion. To be honest, radical politics doesn’t induce the kind of “shuddering and stiffening” reaction described by MacKinnon. Thus it is that feminists ruin everything: Having first ruined marriage by convincing women they were oppressed as suburban housewives, next they ruined fornication by their idiotic talk about “empowerment” and “liberation” until now, at last, they have even ruined lesbianism, which used to be weird, wild and sexy, but has become just another tedious political pose.
February 11, 2014
Science! Women Like Men, Feminists Crushed
What sort of science is this that tells us that most women like men, not Marxist lesbians?
Ideologues fetishize intellectual abstractions to the point that real life confuses them. Lori Gottlieb is therefore stunned:Remember two hot chicks together are Good Gay.The more traditional the division of labor, meaning the greater the husband’s share of masculine chores compared with feminine ones, the greater his wife’s reported sexual satisfaction.So says an academic study, at least, and therefore the science is settled. The problem — maybe Gottlieb doesn’t understand this — is that feminism is an ideology developed by lesbian Marxists who hate men. Feminist ideology is therefore not about improving relationships between men and women; it’s about teaching women to hate men, so that all women can become Marxist lesbians.
See figure A:
Unless either of them is a Marxist Feminist then its Bad Gay.
See Figure B.
December 18, 2013
When the Obvious Becomes Controversial
Um, since when did stating the obvious become so controversial?
‘Duck Dynasty’ Star: A Vagina Is ‘More Desirable Than A Man’s Anus’The fact that this is 'news'? Yeah, Western Civilization is pretty much dead.
November 07, 2013
Senate Passes Bill Forcing Rusty to Re-Hire Vinnie!
Vinnie gets ready for work
Let's keep our fingers crossed that the House never takes the bill up because I don't think I could stand looking at Vinnie -- or as he wanted us to call him, "Chelsea" -- in high heels for one minute longer:
The Senate on Thursday passed a historic bill to prevent discrimination against gay and transgender employees – sending the bill to the House where GOP leaders have signaled that it’s dead on arrival.In all seriousness, though, I don't believe in the legitimacy of any anti-discrimination laws. Governments ought not have the right to second guess any hiring/firing decision.
Ten Republicans joined all Democrats in a 64-32 bipartisan vote. House Speaker John A. Boehner said earlier this week he will not bring it up for a vote.
And these types of laws are in fact inherently unfair because it sets up special classes of people who have legal recourse above and beyond what other classes of people have.
So, for instance, women and minorities already have special legal status before courts because when they are fired a court can review the circumstances of that firing to make sure they weren't fired 'for the wrong reasons'.
But fire a white guy? Then there is no legal recourse. At least, no additional legal recourse beyond what everybody gets. But fire a woman or minority and in addition to normal recourse to law available to everyone special legalized protections accrue to them not available to everyone else.
I'm not arguing for discrimination, only that government has: a) neither the moral authority to stop it when it occurs between private individuals because that is not a legitimate role for government; nor b) has the capability of doing it in an equitable and just manner because when government does try to enforce anti-discrimination laws in the private sector it violates those very norms of equity they claim to be trying to protect.
So, please don't make me rehire Vinnie!
Also, I should have a help wanted post up by the end of the week. Lesbians are encouraged to apply. But only lipstick lesbians. You know, the hot kind.
March 05, 2013
Outrage Over Ashley Judd's Hot Lesbian Sex Scene
We are once again going to have to break with the Republican establishment.
As she considers a run against McConnell, the Senate minority leader, Judd has reportedly been meeting with deep-pocketed donors in her home state of Kentucky. She also made a trip to Washington, D.C. last week.Is the post of senator befitting for a woman who has not only showed us her boobies on film, but rubbed her coconuts together with Salma Hayek?
Judd did a lesbian sex scene in 2002′s Oscar-nominated “Frida” and has nine other films categorized as “sexy” by Mr. Skin, meaning that there is at least one racy scene in those films.
In our opinion the answer is yes, Ashley Judd's hot sex scenes with with Salma Hayek are what we consider good gay.
Its not a bug, its a feature.
January 29, 2013
The Homosexual Superhumans and the BSA **Bumped**
So, the Boy Scouts of America is contemplating letting openly gay men serve as Scout leaders?
This is the dumbest thing I've heard gay rights advocates push for -- ever.
The idea that a gay man should go camping with a bunch of teenage boys? Yeah, that's insane.
Not because homosexuals are predatory by nature. Not because they are going to lure impressionable youths into the gay lifestyle. Foolishness, all.
Gays aren't any worse than the next man when it comes to normal human impulses. But they certainly aren't any better.
Would you let me take your 14 year old daughter camping? Kind of seems inappropriate.
So, you acknowledge that no matter how decent of a guy I might be, because I am a normal man subject to normal male passions, it's probably not a great idea for me and my buddy -- let's say, Howie -- to take a group of 14 - 15 year old girls on a camp out. Don't forget to bring a pillow for the mandatory pillow fight!
Yet somehow homosexual men are exempt from normal male passions? Gay men aren't tempted by 14 - 15 year old boys?
To believe this is to believe that gays are better than straights. That gays are, in fact, superhuman.
That's what the idiots who think gays should be allowed to lead Scout troops fundamentally believe.
Yes, it is discriminatory to not let gays lead Scout troops. It's also discriminatory to not let men lead Girl Scout troops.
Some discrimination has a basis in fact, experience, and human nature.
An adult male that is attracted to a teenage girl is not, in fact, a child molester or pedophile. A pedophile is one who is attracted to prepubescent children. And while some Boy Scouts are in their per-adolescent years (Cub Scouts), camping trips are usually limited to older Scouts -- those who are squarely in their teen years.
It is normal for adult males to be attracted to teenage girls. While this attraction may be normal, acting on these attractions certainly isn't since sexual maturity isn't necessarily connected to social maturity, moral maturity, or psychological maturity.
This is why we have statutory rape laws and why even consensual relationships of this type are considered immoral and are therefore illegal.
And it's why we all think it would be creepy if Howie and me took your teenage daughters camping. Because you know that we are human beings subject to normal human passions.
I can't speak for Howie, but I can promise you that your daughters would be safe with me. Double pinkie swear!
Actually, I'm not kidding. Your daughter really would be safe with me. Nevertheless, you wouldn't even consider the offer even if you knew this to be the case because: a) it looks bad; b) even if we never acted on our impulses it creeps you out as to what we might be thinking; c) you wouldn't want to put us into a position where we were even tempted.
Further, I would never make the offer because ... I'm not a retard. Also, what if it turns out that your daughter is a psycho and I have to rebuff her advances? It could happen! Then it's her word against mine as to who acted inappropriately. Neither of us wants to be in that position.
The last time I checked, such a thing as the "gay teenager" actually exists.
For all these reasons it's simply unfathomable that either of us would even consider such a situation. But .... not homosexuals?
In one breath we are told that gays are no different than other men, and in the next we are told that they are better than the rest of us.
I am willing to concede that gay men are no more likely to act inappropriately with teenagers than are straight men. But are you willing to concede that they are not less likely to act inappropriately?
Because if you aren't, then you don't believe in gay equality. You believe in gay superiority and the two of us simply do not live in the same universe.
Obligatory Canteen Boy video below.
January 10, 2012
Sydney Spies Yearbook Photo Controversy
18-year-old Sydney Spies wants a future in modeling, and she figured she would make that clear with her senior picture in her high school yearbook.
But the Durango, Colo., prospective graduate found herself embroiled in controversy when her school’s yearbook editors put the kibosh on running a photo of Sydney posing provocatively in a black shawl and short yellow skirt that exposed plenty of skin.
It seems the efforts to ban this girl's slutty pics have backfired on the yearbook staff, making Sydney famous overnight. I bet that really burns their asses.
March 24, 2011
I'm Pretty Sure That Bunga Bunga Means Good Gay
This story asks the question, What does Bunga Bunga mean.
The BBC said it was originally thought that Berlusconi picked up the phrase from his friend Moammar Gadhafi. The Libyan leader reportedly hosted parties involving “harems’’ of young women and called the bashes bunga bunga.Then they speculate about the meaning, which is easily located here at the Daily Mail.
March 16, 2011
Vanessa Hudgens Lesbian Kiss Scandal
I would characterize it as Good Gay.
Anyway there is some big scandal about more nude photos of her on the web. Its said that she was 17 at the time the pics were taken. This one is not only good gay but PG13.
There is more here for those who are really interested.
December 02, 2010
Important AP Story of the Day: What are the five best lesbian movie scenes of all time?
Apparently Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis do millions of adolescent boys a favor and get it on in their new movie Black Swan. In addition to giving me a reason to see a movie about ballet, it also gives the AP the opportunity to explore this important topic:
Thanks to Jim.
July 13, 2010
Lohan Vs Lesbians
Inmates of the jail where Lindsay Lohan is set to spend up to 90 days have warned of gangs out to attack the starlet, saying "everyone will want a piece of her", The Sun reported Tuesday.Additionally, she will be inundated by a stream of shoddy amateur scripts written about a well ridden former Hollywood star molested by mobs of hot lesbian inmates by one Rusty "The Stalker" Shackleford.
Lohan's A-list neighbors will be replaced with tough guards and fearsome lesbian gangs desperate to get their hands on her."Or if you get her to cry, the whole ward will laugh and people will love it -- even the guards."
Haley also warned bisexual Lindsay of the jail's lesbian gangs -- and offered advice on how to avoid their clutches.
Oh, and for those who don't know...
"The gay inmates wear their shirts inside out to let others know they are available. "So if Lindsay doesn't want someone to grab her ass she'd better keep her shirt on straight. "Women grab each other like animals when the guards aren't looking. It's disgusting."
July 07, 2010
Anna Chapman's Nude Photos May Win Her Freedom
Well, it appears that Anna Chapman's gloriousness could get her swapped for a spy convicted by Russia for passing classified military information to a British firm that acted as a front for the CIA.
If she leaves the USA, don't look people. Watching a grown man of Howie's stature cry is not a pretty thing. One could argue that if she is back in Russia walking the streets, the opportunity to spawn some new smokin’ hot pics is better than sitting in the clink.
For those who wish....one lightly doctored photo below the fold.
July 04, 2010
Marisa Miller is mowing the lawn today - how are you Jawas celebrating July 4th?
A happy July 4th to all you Jawas.
June 29, 2010
Christina Hendricks is ready for July 4th - are you?
From the New York Post:
"Mad Men" actress Christina Hendricks loves a man who knows his liquor. "My husband loves scotch," she said, referring to her mate, Geoffrey Arend. "And I love it when he orders it. It's such a classic, masculine drink," she told partygoers at a private tasting for Johnnie Walker Black.
Thanks. It's nice to be appreciated. But seriously, Johnnie Walker Black?
A gratuitous boobage post for our recovering Howie. Get well soon!
March 22, 2010
If the Soviets had run Pravda like this, we'd all be communists now (Part 4)
In our fourth and final installment looking at the 2010 Miss Russia contest (Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3), the competitors face off in the swimsuit, evening wear and interview portions of the event. Will frontrunners Olga Kononenko of Chelyabinsk and Maria Lavrova of Moscow be able to hold off a charge from Irina Sharipova of the Republic of Tatarstan? Or will dark horse candidate Irina Antonenko from Ekaterinburg mount a challenge and win the crown and the $100,000 prize?
From Russia Today: Miss Russia 2010: a gem from the Urals.
Below the fold is your new Miss Russia 2010:
March 21, 2010
If the Soviets had run Pravda like this, we'd all be communists now (Part 3)
In our third installment of the 2010 Miss Russia competition (be sure to revisit Part 1 and Part 2), the lovely lasses are instructed in the art of ballroom dancing to showcase their grace and elegance.
As an added bonus for all you devoted Jawas, here is Robert Bridge's "Russian Women Guide."
March 20, 2010
If the Soviets had run Pravda like this, we'd all be communists now (Part 2)
Continuing our groundbreaking coverage of the Miss Russia 2010 contest (be sure to see Part 1) comes the costume and evening wear portion of the event.
And plenty of charms to see.
March 18, 2010
If the Soviets had run Pravda like this, we'd all be communists now
Oh yes, there's more.
March 17, 2010
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Aren't you a little drunk for a storm trooper?
(pic stolen from the Dweebletter)
Since Vinnie is teh ghey, a hearty Erin Go Bragh to our Jawas of Irish descent! Today we remember St. Patrick, who in an odd twist of fate was neither Irish (he was Welsh) nor Roman Catholic (the Church of Rome had little presence in the British Isles at the time). So if he can chase the snakes from Ireland, we can eradicate the scourge of radical Islam from the planet.
So below the fold are a couple of lovely infidel lasses sharing a St. Patrick's Day toast of Guinness. Sláinte!
UPDATE by Rusty: Added the pic, and thought you might like to read this account of a St. Patrick's Day miracle in Kirkuk a couple of years back.
Proceed to hot chick drinking Guiness below, if you must.
UPDATE by Stable Hand: Happy St Patricks Day all!![something for the ladies under the fold]
December 11, 2009
You Know You'd Think You'd Find This on Iowa Hawk
But not not today.
July 10, 2009
Angelina Jolie is ultimate lesbian heroine
Angelina Jolie has been voted the world's ultimate lesbian heroine.
One of the many, but main, reasons why Angelina Jolie is the official Jawa Report babe.
June 09, 2009
I'm Totally Upset
That I can't get the Sex with Ducks video to play.
Two hot chicks in the tub, that's good gay. And it just won't play for me.
Help I'm being oppressed!
May 08, 2009
Sandcrawler PSA: Bad vs Good
As a consequence of the ongoing debate on Bluto's Perez Hilton thread here, I have found it necessary to repeat Jawa Report's official stance on Gay issues.
We do not really hold what anyone does at home as our business. And that marriage is between a man and a woman just like Obi-One does. Other legal arrangements for odd couples can be arranged. Not a problem.
But after much thought and observation we have determined that here are indeed two types of gay. Well actually three when you count the "just plain happy" kind but I digress.
The first kind is Bad Gay: See below.
Bad Gay is defined here as any same sex relationship where one or both partners is either male (no exceptions) and or unattractive.
Whereas Good Gay is defines as, any two or more hot chicks engaged with each other. Also see below.
See how this works?
No? OK, for those who still feel the need to further study this Good Gay phenomenon I've gathered a few links for you.
For those who wish to continue study of the Bad Gay phenomenon, we have some examples, written mostly by Rusty and Vinnie I think, included further down in section C above. But I'm too homophobic to surf them up.
This has been a Sandcrawler Public Service Announcement.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled stupidity.
December 19, 2008
Its What Rusty Gets
For letting all us filthy stinking Irish drunks in here.
If that was "torture" then teenagers have been "torturing" their parents since oh oh about about 1950.
NEARLY 20 years ago, the US armed forces in Panama used the music of Guns N’ Roses and Elvis Presley, played at maximum volume over loudspeakers, to try and drive the country’s leader, Manuel Noriega, to surrender.LOL, torture my A$$! Well, maybe the Barney song, maybe the Barney song.
A tactic was born. Since then, music played at unbearable volumes has been frequently deployed in Guantánamo Bay and elsewhere by the CIA, as part of a sophisticated portfolio of torture against detainees.
But still...its kind of what these murderous al-Qaeda bastages deserve for not answering our questions. But actually calling it torture? Silly. But I suppose we can start driving tooth pics under their toenails if that would make you feel better.
October 29, 2008
Women dressed like Princess Leia.
Need I say more? More at Asylum.com
Update by Howie: By request semi NSFW + good gay pics of Olivia Munn below the fold. Hey, you ask I blog.
click for larger
Now this is good gay
October 24, 2008
Hot Athletic Bi Chics With Guns
Click Image for more!
Are Biathlons Good Gay? We we can only hope. After all, its for a good cause.
Hat Tip: Rsluty via The Record.
August 28, 2008
Very Good Gay! How to Kiss Like Angelina Jolie
UPDATE: Had to put video below the fold. Why? Because Internet Explorer sucks, that's why! But here's an image to keep you occupied while you scroll down. Freakin perverts....
WARNING: PG-13 borderline R borderline awesome not safe for work video.
Hat Tip: Mike Pechar.