December 03, 2013
Have You Ever Had A Dreams Thats...
Well, it started out okay...
I shouldn't laugh. This is exactly what I am like before my morning coffee...
Nailed it! Rock on, kid!
Last Straw: al Qaeda Threatens to Behead Kittehs!
November 26, 2013
Getting pelted by his own groceries. Which is the grown up equivalent of the "Why are you hitting yourself" thing the bullies at school used to do to him.
HELL NO! The Sensible Horror Film
(Hat Tip: Law Of Self Defense)
Below the fold, a bonus horror film: Stay Indoors.
November 11, 2013
The Steve Martin of Deer
That's one wild and crazy deer!
Alright, I don't get this. Why didn't they just shoot it and eat it? Mmmmm, Bambi .....
Yeah, it's that time of year again when I blog from my deer stand. Wish me luck and .... HAPPY VETERANS DAY!
October 23, 2013
Online Jihad + Healthcare.org = Leno Funny
Here’s a very disturbing story. You may have heard about this. 25-year-old man in New York arrested for trying to join al Qaeda. Well, here is the amazing part. He said it was still easier to join al Qaeda using their website than it was to sign up for ObamaCare. And he was in! He was in, in like, two minutes!It's funny because it's true.
October 16, 2013
Quote of the Day
" When you have 18 percent of GDP coming in in cash, less than 2 percent going out in debt coverage—I’m stunned you all fall for it in the press. None of you were math majors, were you?” -- Rep. David Schweikert (R - AZ) to reporters who couldn't understand why not raising the debt ceiling wasn't the same thing as defaulting on the debt.
OMFG: Bush Blamed for Shutdown
Your morning low-information voter funny.
October 11, 2013
Freaks On A Plane
If you ask me, here's how the crew and other passengers should have handled it:
October 09, 2013
Different Kind Of Bikers
These are not the same type, crotch rocket bikers who attacked an innocent family in an SUV last month.
These are the type bikers with which I grew up. So, for the record, I wouldn't have had a problem when I walked into this theater.
October 08, 2013
Muslim Countries Developing 'Gaydar' to Protect Borders from the Gays
If you actually could make a machine that detected the gayness I'm pretty sure that 80% of men in Saudi Arabia would set the thing off. How else do you explain the fact that they hate looking at women so much that they force them to remain covered at all times in public?
A medical test being developed by Kuwait will be used to 'detect' homosexuals and prevent them from entering the country – or any of the Gulf Cooperation Countries (GCC), according to a Kuwaiti government official....Okay, I'm not saying that everyone in the Gulf states are all the way gay. Just, you know, pretty gay. Like a 7 or 8 on the gay scale.
He told Kuwait newspaper Al Rai: ‘Health centres conduct the routine medical check to assess the health of the expatriates when they come into the GCC countries. However, we will take stricter measures that will help us detect gays who will be then barred from entering Kuwait or any of the GCC member states.’
October 07, 2013
Sandcrawler PSA: Those NSA Bastards Get All the Good Stuff
Just a non essential post about non essential thingys.
October 04, 2013
U.S. Postal Service Still Hard At Work
Why do I always laugh when one of the new "Priority You" commercials come on?
October 01, 2013
I Got a Fevah and the Only thing to Cure it is MOAR SHUTDOWN!!!
I know, I'm a meanie. The federal government being shut down for a day or three means apocalypse. Dogs and cats, sleeping with each other. Biblical stuff.
And yet ..... life goes on. People do what they do. We survive.
It's almost as if American society existed before the Housing and Urban Development Administration. As if kids learned to read before Head Start. As if college campuses existed before Upward Bound.
Me, I feel nothing. No, that's not true. I feel great.
It's about time those who suck at the teet of federal largess start feeling what a recession feels like. That they know what it means to worry about the next paycheck.
But I'll really only be happy if this thing drags on long enough that the housing bubble in Washington, DC finally pops. One of the few places in America that home values never truly went down. And why? Because the federal government insulates those attached to it from the real economy.
While federal employees whine about "not getting cost of living adjustments" for the past few years, the rest of us had to worry about whether or not our homes would be repossessed.
So, screw them. Screw them all.
Me? I'm happy. If only for a day.
September 30, 2013
al-NuZra's CarOtee IZ nOT Stronng
Crouching Omar, Hidden Homos!
September 27, 2013
He's catching up on his reading.
September 23, 2013
Cornhole Watch: No, really. Look at this cornhole.
Don't let the guys down in Folsom know that this is a thing.
I dunno, playing cornhole just seems .... wrong. Unless, you know, you're into that sort of thing.
September 09, 2013
If you have a problem... If no one else can help
...and if you can find them...maybe you can hire...The A- Team.
Rex Kramer Certified!
Hat Tip: Some Zionist Jawa Thingy.
September 06, 2013
God to Girls Who Twerk: You Will Burn! Burn! Burn!
You shouldn't laugh at this, but you will.
September 03, 2013
Feel Good Story of the Day: Bitches Bitch Slap Little Bitch
Filed under Funnies because it is and also if because your hat is that gay, well.. you should know better.
August 22, 2013
Chelsea Clinton + Bradley Manning = .....
But not ha-ha funny. More like, I just threw up in my mouth a little funny.
August 13, 2013
Why You Should Probably Delete Those Nude Photos of Yourself Before Taking Computer in for Service
Or, why Howie is busy defending himself in a lawsuit:
The seven-page civil lawsuit claims that in August 2011, the plaintiff, who also worked at the Best Buy on McFarland Avenue, brought her computer to the store and paid to have a problem with her hard drive fixed.
In May 2013, the plaintiff was notified by a co-worker that nude photos of her were circulating online. The lawsuit claims that a Geek Squad employee took the photos from the plaintiff's computer, uploaded them to the Internet and also linked them on Pirate Bay.
Kid Bites Cop
The fun starts at around 1 minute. If you ask me, the cop should have slapped the screeching bitch behind the camera.
August 02, 2013
Sandcralwer PSA: Useful Thingy For Jawa Posts and Comments
Kid! Have you rehabilitated yourself?
Hat Tip: Bebobaby.
July 30, 2013
Twitter Troll Tweets Apology After Another User Threatens To Tell His Mom
July 26, 2013
Authorities Perplexed as to Motivation of Sex Offender Breaking IN to Jail
This guy's motivation is completely mystifying. I mean, why would a guy who has been convicted of "sodomy" want to break in to jail?
I'm scratching my head here just as much as the authorities in this case:
The New York Post reports that 36-year-old Yonkers resident Matthew Matagrano pleaded guilty Thursday to posing as a correction officer and sneaking into the Manhattan Detention Center....The italics are mine, but I can't help but wonder if the guy at the AP wasn't giggling just a little as he wrote those lines.
It's not clear why the former inmate, whose rap sheet includes a conviction for sodomy and sexual abuse, wanted to get back into jails.
July 25, 2013
News Reporter Accidentally Draws A Picture Of Anthony Weiner
Via The Daily Caller
Heh, I said thrust.
July 23, 2013
Horny Invisible Witches on the Loose in Zambia
If you had the power to turn invisible through witchraft, natch, what would you do? Rob a bank? Assassinate Fidel Castro? Steal that treasure map they keep on display at the National Archives?
How about get a little, you know, action on the DL? That's exactly what is going on in Zambia:
“The male teachers complained that they have been having sex with women they cannot see. This has been happening to them for about three weeks,” he said....I don't know, it seems to me that if you were a Zambian witch or wizard with the ability to make yourself invisible, don't you think that your first priority would be .... getting the hell out of Zambia?
“I received a complaint from a female teacher of Makaba Primary School who told me what had happened to her on Friday.
“She said while sleeping next to her husband, an invisible man undressed her and had sex with her,” he said.
Incidentally, Howie refused to comment on his whereabouts last week nor on the Zambian stamp on his passport.
And Vinnie's wife often accuses him of having invisible sex with her. Only, I'm thinking she means something completely different and not quite flattering.
July 04, 2013
I don't care for street preachers, but they do have the freedom of speech. There was a tiny part of me hoping the would beat down this loud, obnoxious group of lesbians and their creepy ass cracker BFF.
(Hat Tip: Gateway Pundit)
June 13, 2013
The Salmon Return to Capistrano
Ok, I got some flack for mentioning the salmon returning to Capistrano in another thread. Seriously, you guys have never seen Dumb and Dumber? Are you kidding me?
June 05, 2013
A Obama Voter's Account of the Michelle Obama Lesbian Heckler Incident
May 30, 2013
"If The Virgins Start Hogging The Remote, Is He In Hell?" - 72 Questions About 72 Virgins Everyone Should Ask Before Becoming A Suicide Bomber
Brought to you by the folks at WikiIslam:
- What if the bomber wants girls with more experience?
- What if one virgin is no good in bed? Does she get replaced or is he stuck with 71?
- If he's gay, does he get male virgins?
- What if he's celibate? What does he get?
- What if he hasn't reached puberty yet? Does he get 72 Xboxes till he comes of age?
- If he's bisexual, does he get 36 of each?
- If he blows himself up while building the bomb, does he still get credit?
- What do you call a relationship with 72 women, a ménage-ŕ-soixante-treize?
- Are they like 72 wives or 1 wife and 71 concubines?
- What if he's ugly or smells bad and the virgins don't want anything to do with him?
Questions 11 - 72 are HERE.