December 03, 2018

Fatwa This! All She Wanted Was A Pepsi Edition

Rania Youssef has gotten herself a Fatwa, I guess for choosing Pepsi or something.


I'm a Coca Cola Man myself, so I get it. Can't accuse me of Islamophobia, nope nope nope. I'm totally into their culture



By Howie at 08:27 AM | Comments |

August 30, 2018

Trolling For Fatwas

Sometimes things are as predictable as the sunrise.

A man briefly appeared in a Dutch court Thursday on suspicion of wanting to assassinate far-right politician Geert Wilders after he said he planned to stage a Prophet Mohammed cartoon competition.

The 26-year-old man "is being suspected of committing a terrorist act, planning to commit murder and incitement," Dutch prosecutors said in a statement.

Police on Tuesday arrested the man at one of The Hague's main railway stations after he posted a film on Youtube saying he planned an attack on Wilders or the Dutch parliament.

The man, believed to be from Pakistan, also called on other Muslims for support.

"Authorities are taking the threat very seriously," the Dutch public prosecution service said in the statement.

"The investigation is ongoing" and the man is in custody "with maximum restrictions" meaning that he is only allowed to consult his lawyer.

Prosecutors did not release the suspect's name, saying at this stage they were reluctant to release further information.

What? Geert just mentions MoToons and gets a Death Fatwa right away.

But I post Stickmo and I get nothing. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

By Howie at 12:49 PM | Comments |

August 29, 2018

Mo MoToons!


Fortunately I have mine ready!

By Howie at 07:36 AM | Comments |

July 30, 2018

Fatwa This! Haram Hamza Edition

I'm going to hell for this.


By Howie at 01:05 PM | Comments |

May 29, 2017

Fatwa This! Black Helicopters Edition

There is a rumor going around that if you play this song black helicopters show up.

A police helicopter swooped on a garden party after neighbours complained a song mocking Osama bin Laden's death was being played.

Officers were called out after reports the music was too loud and people were allegedly shouting anti-Islamic abuse.

A female officer who attended the home in Cambridge pressed her 'panic button' after 'taking offence' to the track, called the 'Bin Laden Song'.

The parody, which has its own music video, uses the death of the terrorist as a reference for jokes about sex and the military.

(Looks up expectantly)

Damn! It works!

By Howie at 08:09 AM | Comments |

May 25, 2017

Sandcrawler PSA: Muslims are Islamophobes

Wow the Muslims in this poll recite the same opinions about Islam as we racist Islamophobic Kuffar pigs!

By Howie at 07:42 PM | Comments |

May 12, 2017

New Improved Hijab And Shoulders 2-1

Its Shampoo! Plus fabric softener. So when you sweat your Hijab wet in the tropical outdoor heat.... never mind she's not allowed outdoors.

Also that Muslima is slutty and I mean slutty in, you know, the good way.


By Howie at 02:55 PM | Comments |

April 13, 2017

Flush the Koran Moves to Real World

Obviously this is an inside job!

Fire can't melt steel!

By Howie at 01:21 PM | Comments |

February 14, 2017

Milo The Fatwa Yiannopoulos

By Howie at 09:16 AM | Comments |

January 04, 2017

Ministry of Entertaining The Masses: Real Muslimas!

From our fearless leader!


By Howie at 10:44 AM | Comments |

December 02, 2016

Woman Gets Death Fatwa For Running Around Saudi Arabia Damn Neart Nekkid

What a total and utter whore! You can see her eyes and everything!

The medieval Islamic system enforced in Saudi Arabia is on display this week after Malak Al Shehri decided to do what most women around the world do without a second’s thought: she went out into public without covering herself up with a veil or hijab. Malak then posted herself on a public street. The result has been volcanic with some supporting her courage but many others calling for her to be beheaded or “thrown to the dogs.” It is a reminder of the plight of women in the Kingdom and other Islamic countries imposing Sharia law.

nintchdbpict0002862353491-e1480673820788 (1).jpg

All women in Saudi Arabia – local and foreign – are legally required to wear an abaya or traditional full-body covering. Foreign women are exempted from the mandatory headscarf – or hijab.

Her Charms! They are giving me impure thoughts!

It's not my fault! It's a Zionist Plot!

By Howie at 09:53 AM | Comments |

September 29, 2016

Fatwa This! Just Asking For it Edition

Look if Milo gets a death Fatwa before me, I'l be totally pissed. .

’m Milo Yiannopoulos, thank you for coming. Tonight I have two objectives. The first is to be issued with a fatwa, which I surely will be any day now if I’m doing my job properly..

Effing newbies... coming around here sucking up all the Fatwas..

By Howie at 07:25 AM | Comments |

August 22, 2016

Fatwa This: Namewee OH MY GOD!

Malaysian artist Namewee has been arrested for insulting lslam, he called it a superstition in a video.

A Malaysian rapper has been remanded in custody by a court in Penang over a music video entitled Oh My God that allegedly insults Islam because it was partly filmed in a mosque.

Namewee, whose real name is Wee Meng Chee, will be held for four days, a district police chief, Mior Faridalathrash Wahid, told Agence France-Presse.

He said the rapper was being investigated for defiling a place of worship with the intent of insulting a religion.

The rapper, who is also a film director, could face up to two years in prison, a fine, or both, according to local media.

It wasn't for filming in a mosque, trust me it was for grouping Islam with other superstition.

Without further delay, here is the video.


By Howie at 12:36 PM | Comments |

August 08, 2016

Sandcrawler PSA: Cynicism And You

By Howie at 08:58 AM | Comments |

August 03, 2016

ISIS Meets Sprockets


Hat Tip: B'emetOr.

By Howie at 08:01 PM | Comments |

July 26, 2016

Fatwa This! Morris vs Fido

Fide was such a good boy.

Hey its just a cat's nature.

By Howie at 12:14 PM | Comments |

July 19, 2016

Try New Chopophobin!

Have an aversion to your beheading, try Chopophobin! You won't even squirm, well not as much, maybe.

By Howie at 03:20 PM | Comments |

July 09, 2016

Fatwa This! Flying Donkey Edition

By Howie at 09:33 AM | Comments |

June 22, 2016

Acts17Apologetics Scores The Highly Coveted I Will A$$rape Your Mother Fatwa

So jealous.

But I think the translation is wrong, it should be

{omitted} you {omitted} and yes your mom is a good {omitted} sucker you {omitted} {omitted}...if you were in front of me... i would {omitted} your mom {omitted}
There glad we cleared that up. We wouldn't want people to misinterpret this message of peace and understanding between the Christian and Islamic communities.

Hat tip: 1389.

By Howie at 09:27 PM | Comments |

June 19, 2016

Fatwa This! Painting Muhammad with Bob Ross

I have a bad feeling about this.

By Howie at 07:25 AM | Comments |

June 16, 2016

Fatwa This! The West is The Best

Get here and we'll do the rest.

By Howie at 12:34 PM | Comments |

June 15, 2016

Sandcrawler PSA: War is Here


By Howie at 12:51 PM | Comments |

June 13, 2016

The Beat Goes On!

If you match up the whacks with the Allahu Ackbars! It makes a catchy new rhythm, some rap artist is going to make bazillions!

Its so nice to see Muslims, allow their children to participate so young!

By Howie at 11:30 AM | Comments |

Condell: The Death Rattle of a Dhimmi Society

One of Pat's older video's that for some reason fits every single Islamic Terror attack.

By Howie at 08:35 AM | Comments |

May 06, 2016

Classic Youtube Day Part II

Yeah so we have Zo's last Zonation.

Now we have our classic liberal Atheist Pat Condell.

Don't ever let anyone tell you Jawa are not a diverse open group of Wingnuts!

Thanks to some other crazy Rebel.

By Howie at 12:03 PM | Comments |

April 13, 2016

Fatwa This! Turkey's Leading Turkey Edition

With all due respect, which in any free country is none whatsoever let me stand in solidarity with Jan Böhmermann in saying this, Erdogan sucks balls!

German comedian has been placed under police protection after reading a crude poem about Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan on television.

A police car was parked in front of Jan Böhmermann’s house, although it was not immediately clear if a concrete threat had been made against him.

German newspaper Bild website reported that the satirist and his family were allegedly facing a threat from the Turkish president’s supporters.

Its not really surprising that Mr. Böhmermann is earning a Fatwa.

Remember Turkey refused to allow the US to use any of its territory during the Iraq war, despite is NATO membership.

The number one country that Jawa Report received Islamist threats to our lives was so called secular Turkey.

In fact fact every one of the Fatwas we give out in caption contests are quotes from Turkish Muslims who wanted to "Cut Ur Neck" for photoshoping Korans and various other insults to just about everyone.

So here with out further comment is the video that Erdogan hates and an English translation of some of the best parts.

Oh and Mr. Erdogan, next time you come to our country don't send your goons to attack protesting Kurds, that may fly in Turkey but here Kurds are free to protest. And their right to call you everything but a white boy is protected.

Mr. Erdogan can suck it!

By Howie at 10:38 AM | Comments |

March 21, 2016

Fatwa This! Mirror Mirror Edition

Pat goes for a Fatwa!

By Howie at 08:08 AM | Comments |

March 18, 2016

Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: ISIS Slave Auction Edition (Fatwas Issued!)

Caption this.

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas Issued!

The I will cut UR neck Fatwa issued against EyeSurgeon for

Alahu akbaaaaa!
The Why U insult Holly Koran? Fatwa issued against Ron for
Cruz voters.
Boy oh boy are we gonna pay for that one!

Come one guys, its a joke? You understand, right?

Anyway, the Devil will do meetballs from ur body Fatwa issued against The Man From Athens for

So many babes. So little time.

By Howie at 09:20 PM | Comments |

March 01, 2016

Nadine Al-Budair Editorial on Islamic Terrorism

Ran across this editorial on Islamic Terror by Nadine Al-Budair. Its very good.

iberal Saudi journalist Nadine Al-Budair, who lives in Qatar, penned an article in the Kuwaiti daily Al-Rai in which she wondered how Muslims would have acted if Christians had blown themselves up in their midst or tried to force their faith on them.

She presented the hypothetical question while calling on the Muslim world to be introspective and enact reforms, instead of condemning Western attitudes towards it.

“Imagine a Western youth coming here and carrying out a suicide mission in one of our public squares in the name of the Cross. Imagine that two skyscrapers had collapsed in some Arab capital, and that an extremist Christian group, donning millennium-old garb, had emerged to take responsibility for the event, while stressing its determination to revive Christian teachings or some Christian rulings, according to its understanding, to live like in the time [of Jesus] and his disciples, and to implement certain edicts of Christian scholar,” she wrote, according to a translation of the article by the Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI).

Expect her home nation of Saudi Arabia to issue a Fatwa. And not the good kind of Fatwa, like a total Death Fatwa.

By Howie at 09:20 AM | Comments |

February 12, 2016

Saudi Arabia Issues Fatwa Against Uncovered Princess Mascot

Because she was a dirty dirty whore princess!. Princess whore? I dunno.

Religious police in Saudi Arabia detained a pastry shop’s cross-dressing mascot — for showing a little too much skin.

As part of a promotional campaign, a bakery in Riyadh had the man dress up in a costume depicting an unveiled Muppet-like woman in a blue gown.

Maybe this outrage against Pastry Princesses will finally get Oliver Willis' attention on Islamic oppression?

By Howie at 08:46 AM | Comments |

October 29, 2015

Fatwa This! Islamic State! Danger! Romance!

Caption or create your own meme... Fatwas will be issued.

Probably against me, but you don't want me taking all the credit and getting all the reward.

By Howie at 12:38 PM | Comments |

June 18, 2015

Ding Dong! Jihadi Witnesses!


By Howie at 01:05 PM | Comments |

May 07, 2015

A Cartoon Worthy of Death

Behold, the image that won the Draw Mohammad contest.

Remember when Monty Python got all those death threats for that one blasphemous movie? And all the Lefties were all, like, "Hey, I support free speech, BUT .... "? Good times. Good times.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 01:09 PM | Comments |

April 04, 2015

Christ-O-Phobia Sweeps Australia

No wait!

By Howie at 09:17 AM | Comments |

March 25, 2015

Know the Powah!

Of the Dark Side!


By Howie at 07:34 AM | Comments |

March 21, 2015

Fatwas Fatwas Everywhere

You can Jihad all you like but you can never leave.

Numbered and dated, the fatwas bear the insignia of the Islamic State’s Council for Research and Fatwa Issuing (Hay’at al-Buhuth wa’l-Ifta’), which seems modeled on Saudi Arabia’s body of similar name and purpose. Presumably, the Islamic State’s fatwa council is controlled by the larger Islamic State Shari’a Council, which carries real political weight. Recently, a former Islamic State mufti reportedly stated: “There’s nothing that is decided without the Sharia Council’s approval.” At the council’s helm, suggests Iraqi expert Hisham al-Hashimi, is the 30-year-old Bahraini scholar Turki al-Bin‘ali. The latter is likely the author, coauthor, or editor of some of the fatwas.
Fatwa Fatwa Fatwa.
Is it permissible for the wives of martyrs to leave with their children for the lands of unbelief?

A. No.

Q. Is it permissible for the soldiers of the Islamic State to go to the lands of unbelief....

Whoso leaves the Abode of Islam for the Abode of Unbelief without a legitimate reason has committed a sin (ma‘siya)

Q. Is it permissible to travel to the areas under the control of the [Asad] regime for some need?

A. No. Travel to the lands of unbelief generally, and to the lands under the control of the regime specifically, is permissible only on the condition of one’s ability openly to disavow and show hatred to the unbelievers. We are certain that this condition is impossible to meet.

IS has a certain Hotel Jonestown ring to it, no?

By Howie at 08:36 PM | Comments |

February 18, 2015

Where's Dr. Rusty Shackleford? Allahu Gaybar! Edition

He said some shit about packing to go to Islamic State or going to Islamic State to do some packing I dunno. Vinnie went with him, something about an oath.

I knew AQI was gay ever since the Perfumes Shura Council video.

Hat Tip: Serious.

By Howie at 08:51 PM | Comments |

January 20, 2015

Zo Terrorizes Liberals

By exposing that Liberals abandoned themselves and every value they claim to stand for when they apologize for Islamic terror. Or speaking the truth, whatever.

Damn, Zo that is one brave stand you're taking. Bless you.

By Howie at 03:48 PM | Comments |