June 14, 2013

Everyone knows that silver bullets kill werewolves, but these babies take care of those pesky green birds of paradise.

So how do you deal with religious extremists who believe that dying for their faith is an Express Ticket to Paradise? Killing them seems to just give them what they think they want. Only wounding them, as in this recent case, leaves the messy business of a public trial,

Its time to put some ham in Mohammad.

A company in northern Idaho has come up with a culturally sensitive approach. Jihawg Ammo has developed a proprietary system for infusing ballistic paint with pork. The special pork-infused paint is then applied to the bullets of loaded ammunition. The inclusion of pork in the paint makes the bullets haraam, or unclean. Under Islamic law, anyone who comes in contact with any haraam item is then unclean and must engage in a cleansing ritual. No unclean person can be admitted into Paradise. Do not pass Go. Do not collect 72 virgins.

June 12, 2013

I find it deeply saddening that such a genuinely delicious slab of magic could be let go to waste like this.

Update: Why would CAIR delete a tweet like that? I find it deeply saddening that they are stifling interfaith dialogue.

Here is the original story.

June 10, 2013

I put that sidewalk underneath that anti-Muslim graffiti.

Watford’s MP has written to the Home office after anti-Muslim graffiti appeared outside a West Watford infant school.

Scene of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars,
being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to
get in the newspaper story about it.

Fatwa?

June 05, 2013

Yeah I know, but I'd rather run #freefemen than #FreeJahar or #FreeAbuMuwahhid.

click for larger
Femen' feminist organization militants demonstrate and pray next to the Tunisia embassy in Paris, France, on June 5, 2013, asking for the liberation of their fellow militants jailed in Tunisia after topless activist actions. Photo by Ammar Abd Rabbo

More Fatwa seekers below the fold(NSFW).

click for larger

June 03, 2013

May 23, 2013

Anjem (al muhaijroun,revolution muslim,Islam policy,shariah4UK,shariah4Islam,sharia4world, muslimsagainstcrusades.etc) knew and knows 28-year-old Michael Adebolajo (aka Mujahid) when the bitch converted to Islam in 2003. When the media asks Anjem about this, he uses the old: "I knew him and haven't seen him for two years" bs.

One of the two men involved in the Woolwich terror attack was known to a banned Islamist organisation and went by the name of Mujahid, The Independent in London has reported.

Anjem Choudary, the former leader of the [banned..ed] group, Al Muhajiroun, confirmed that he had known the man who was seen on video in the immediate aftermath of yesterday's horrific killing waving a cleaver with bloodied hands and making political statements.

Mr Choudary said Mujahid, who he said had converted to Islam in 2003 and was a British-born Nigerian, had stopped attending meetings of Al Muhajiroun and its successor organisations two years ago. The former solicitor said he had also known "Mujahid" as Michael[...]

Sources today named one of the suspects as 28-year-old Michael Adebolajo.

Mr Choudary told The Independent: “I knew him as Mujahid. He attended our meetings and my lectures. I wouldn’t describe him as a member [of Al Muhajiroun]. There were lots of people who came to our activities who weren’t necessarily members.

“He was a pleasant, quiet guy. He reverted to Islam in about 2003. He was just a completely normal guy. He was interested in Islam, in memorising the Koran. He disappeared about two years ago. I don’t know what influences he has been under since then.”

Founded in 1983 by Islamist Omar Bakri Muhammad[ Omar the goat humping bakri muhammed...ed], Al Muhajiroun became notorious for attempting to justify the 9/11 attacks and fomenting Islamist rhetoric in Britain.

Mr Choudary, who has long been a controversial figures in Britain’s Islamist circles, has been an outspoken critic of British military involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan.

But he insisted that he had never preached that attacks on British troops or security personnel in Britain were justified.

He was influenced by Anjem's radical preaching as many before him have. Most are in pound-in-ass prison now. For a recent example of such, Americans Zach Chesser and Jesse Norton of Revolution Muslim's South Park fame.

The Jawa Report has OWND his websites numerous times and I noticed today he has another up and running: http://anjem-choudary.com/ The site is registered at Dynadot, a US company. They don't appear to have a problem with it as they have previously refused to remove known terror groups websites. when we have contacted them.

So what is one to do?

Oh hey, lookie here: anjem-choudary.com Tango Down

That's what I call a natty PWN

Update: Not to be outdone by Anjem, Omar the goat humping Bakri Mohammed wanted his mug in the news too. Radical preacher challenge!

Part of that radicalisation can be tracked to extremist groups such as the now-banned al-Muhijaroun. Its former UK head, Omar Bakri Mohammad told the Guardian that he had known Michael Olumide Adebolajo, who had attended many meetings. These included al-Muhijaroun events at community centres and a mosque in the Woolwich area.

Adebolajo attended the meetings from 2004 to around 2011 and, according to Bakri Mohammad, chose his own Muslim name after converting from his Christian upbringing. The name he chose, Mujaahid, means one engaged in jihad.

2 fer!

No, I don't condone hacking but I'll leave it at that.

Stay natty

Peace out

May 21, 2013

I get a fatwa because I posted it, right?

May 17, 2013

May 16, 2013

And, Allah knows best.

Everything you wanted to know "About" Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi is here

May 05, 2013

Fatwas will be issued

*****Sticky***** scroll down for newer

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Nanabozoh and JarvisW for:

I will lay down, and I will play some funky music until I die!

...And your little DOG TOO!!!

You want Jawa meatballs? Right there. Get 'em while they're still hot.

Well if all you could get were meatballs like this you would be angry too.

Zubeidat Tsaernava stars in
WEEKEND AT ACHMED'S

...this Louis Vuitton handbag is NOT unIslamic! it's war booty from Lord & Taylor

There is no dirty heart in there!

We sacrificed it to allah and now he is a zombie.

Unlike Mashoom's moustache, this little muj does nothing to excite me.

........................

[April 21st Fatwas Issued]

[March 3rd Fatwas Issued]

[February 24th Fatwas Issued]

May 03, 2013

Fatwa?

May 02, 2013

Be sure and watch it all:

"Change the subject and Put On That Hijab'!

April 21, 2013

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against dahozho for:

Ok, G.I. Joe, this is ok, but do you have any goat porn?

ayrab: oh yeah baby, you got the meatballs? i got the sauce

Achmed : "Tara Reid's nipples don't look 'halal' if you know what I'm saying..."

Geetings:

Looks like it's time to get the old eyes checked again. For a moment there, I thought the soldier was reading IMAM magazine..

Image credit Tzvi via A.M.H.

And yes, I will get to those I haven't issued fatwas for yet, promise.

April 04, 2013

Coming to a Mosque or Tunisian embassy near you.

BERLIN: Bare-breasted activists staged rallies in front of mosques and Tunisian embassies across Europe Thursday against what they called an Islamist crackdown on Arab women's rights.

A Femen activist burns a Salafist flag in front of the Great Mosque of Paris, on April 3, 2013.

"And we'll fight against them. And our boobs will be stronger than their stones."

The rallies targeted in particular the case of a Tunisian activist calling herself Amina Tyler who sparked a scandal last month when she posted pictures of herself online with the words "My body belongs to me" and "Fuck your morals" emblazoned across her naked breasts.

Why u insult holly banner of Islam?

Previous: 'Quarantine Her"! Says Tunisian Islamist Regarding FEMEN Aminia's Topless Photo.
Arab Spring! Introducing Femen Tunisia

More Fatwa seeking boobies below the fold.

April 03, 2013

By this are you truly known.

Fatwa?

April 01, 2013

Austria’s Turks sued Lego for portraying Jabba The Hutt as an obese, hookah–smoking alien who keeps Princess Leia in chains for use as his personal sex slave.

Lego added the “Jabba’s Palace” playset to its Star Wars collection in 2012. But in January this year the set started to provoke outrage in Austria’s Islamic community after a Muslim father found that his sister had given one to his son as a present.

Furious Muslim critics complained that the Lego set’s Asian and oriental figures were “deceitful and criminal” characters such as gun-runners, slave masters and terrorists.

“This sort of thing does not belong in a child’s bedroom,” said Melissa Gunes, a spokeswoman for Austria’s Turkish Cultural Association. Critics also claimed that the palace had an uncanny resemblance to Istanbul’s Hagia Sophia mosque. “The game is pedagogical dynamite. It depicts Muslims as terrorists,” the TCA complained, adding that Jabba was shown to be a “terrorist who likes to smoke hookah and have his victims killed”

Its a bit long, but she's really going for a Fatwa!

March 28, 2013

His mama told him to leave the love ewe alone and he didn't listen.

8-03-2013,11:43

Al Qassam website- Gaza- Ezzedeen al Qassam Brigades the military wing of the Islamic Resistance Movement Hamas, mourned on Thursday morning 28/3/2013 the death of one of its members Mohammed Al Sirhi,20, from Al Zaytoon neighborhood south of Gaza city.

The Brigades announced in a military statement released on Thursday morning that the member Mohammed Ahmed Al Sirhi, 20, from al Zaytoon neighborhood east of Gaza city has died while doing his religious and national duty to ewes in one of resistance tunnels in Gaza city.

Fatwa?

Top image credit: Zionist Bandwidth Bitch

"Love Ewe" image credited to some people.

March 03, 2013

Fatwas will be issued

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Okie Wan Rednecki for:

They burned his image. That should get him a 4th Purple Heart.

We all NOW know the real reason Cheech Marin got his hands burned. He was roasting meatballs !!

I like my meatballs covered in ketchup !

we the people demand the return of the munsters! where is our leader herman munster? all praise herman munster!!! ullu ullu ullu!!!!!!

John Kerry meets Emily Litella: They told the stories at times they had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of... oh wait, not Genghis Khan but the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood. Nevermind.

**Sticky** Scroll down to newer

1st image h/t @TarekFatah

February 28, 2013

Via a schmuck:

February 27, 2013

So don't anyone go around insulting Mohammad now,.just because his followers are assholes. Wouldn't be prudent.....

February 24, 2013

And all I got was ___________________

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:

he "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against The Realist of Queensland for:

sent to receive my virgins but was pissed off when it turned out to be these guys in burkhas!

"This plate of Meatballs."

was featured on this list of "jihads hottest corpses."

All I got was my dirty heart separated from my dirty head.

.. A small picture on The Jawa Report with a bunch of other goat rapers!

Scroll down for newer posts

Fatwas will be issued

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Sandy Fluke for:

Chechen separatist warlord's, M'Balz Es -Hari (left), I-Zheet M'Drurz (Center) and Haid D'Salaami (right) demand recognition of the independence of Chechnya and also, tax payer funded personal hygiene items.

Maybe he frown because he have bubbling pile of warm meatballs squishing around in Tighty Whities.

"Jamal's pants were so tight everyone knew what religion he belonged to the moment he sat down."

Still showing where he shit his pants during the morning when he mistook a mo ped for a Predator drone M'druze sat for a picture with his Peeps.

His last pair of un shit in jogging pants to

February 20, 2013

Yeah, I like noticed you're following me on twitter yesterday. Thanks dude!

Also yesterday the Taliban's website could be found here.

http://www.shahamat.info
http://www.alemarahnews.com/
http://alemara1.org/

Today? Not so much.

It looks like they ran into some sort of DNS issue, hmmm?

Mwuhahahahahhaaaaaaaa!!!

Special Thanks to Zionist Bandwidth Bitch.

February 10, 2013

Fatwas will be issued.

h/t Jon for me updated title/post.

Scroll down for newer posts.

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued, and, the best laugh I've had in a long time

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against moe mentum, [normally don't fatwa our own but: D Martyr] and Herr Wilson for:

fatima the goat was really pissed now that she had first hand knowledge of what a facial is.

From the looks of her snout, she doesn't swallow.

Careful boys, this goats a spitter.

One dose of Exlax and she's down the toilet.

Don't say a word my virgin child
Just let your inhibitions run wild
The secret is about to unfold

Upstairs before the night's too old
Tonights the night
It's gonna be alright
Cause I love you woman
Ain't nobody gonna stop us now

See? The jihadis don't want to kill us, they just want to get our goat.

What a slut! She's not wearing a Burka.

She's not too young! She may only be 1.5 years old but that's 10.5 in goat years!

Xariif Honey? Does this mean you will not sell me to the next village over?

Less than a week after posting her information on JihaiiMatch.com Fatima was preparing to walk down the aisle.

Her desperate bleatings said, "No"!But her eyes said,"yes".

Baaa , Xariff! where are you going!
Aww man , weve' only been married for 30 minutes and he's taking off with his best friend Mustafah again , and why the hell is Mustafah wearing my garterbelt!

Actually, fatwa for everyone.

January 27, 2013

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:
The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Kafiroon for:

I only came to France for a "member' enhancement.
The goats all laugh at me. Someone gave me this flag and sign to get me into the bachi bazi club.

"when the moon god hitsa you eye like a big pizza pie you know his meatballs are next."

(sign reads) Allah be praised, I humped a French goat in protest!

To his horror, Achmed realized that the Al-Qaeda flag upside down looked like a bunch of ghey terrorists cornholing each other--and it was intentional.

Googlish below image:

Salafis and jihadists protests in front of the French embassy rejection of the war on Mali

Participated today Friday, January 18, 2013, dozens of Salafis and jihadists in Egypt, in the demonstration in front of the French embassy and called for by the stream of Islam year, which includes 22 Movement and Islamic trend notably movement are firm and the front Salafi stream of new Muslims and Jihad Salafi to denounce what they called the war "crusade" against Muslims in Mali .. The French government has announced since last Friday participation of African Union troops and the government in the fight against financial rebels there who are demanding the work of an Islamic emirate in northern Mali and threaten to overthrow the central government in the financial capital "Bamako" Among the most prominent rebel groups in Mali is the movement of "Ansar al-Din" faction "Iyad Ag Ghali" Movement "Tawhid and Jihad" and al-Qaeda in the north of the Maghreb and the insurgents fleeing from Libya after the fall of Gaddafi .. Next movement "Edit Ozoad" which calls for the work of the State of the Touareg.

January 17, 2013

Fatwas will be issued

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Spartan & moe mentum for:

Psst,,,don't peak before they put the dress on the sheep!

maybe if we all light cigarettes the bus will finally come?!?

Mahmoud, we said meatballs, not camel balls!

By Allah these hemorrhoids are killing me!

Oh, Allah, not Xariif in a bikini again!

No, I wouldn't be a suicide bomber."

"Me neither."

"I'll pass."

"Me too."

"So, we're all pussies then?"

"Yeah."

"AWW man! Who shit their pants?! Last one to slap their forhead owns it!"

Ha,HA your it achmed you douchebag

I STILL don't see why Howie likes boobies better than camels or goats.

Scroll down for newer posts

January 12, 2013

Here's a hint, click image for answer:

h/t @1389

Fatwa?

January 10, 2013

Meet Hamas' Salem Aayesh Abu Sitta who was sploded by the Juice in Operation Pillar of Defense:

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:
The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Sheik Cameldung & Kafiroon for:

My favorit coler ith gween. I are thick of goat rear bwown. Wuv,abuboo, oom!!!

What do you mean "you don't hear anything?"
It's getting louder; a kind of soft whistle, air moving sort of a...

Just take the damn pictures guys; I can't hold this face forever, I need to use the potty. And why do I get the gun Akmed put together out of some spare parts and foam pipe insulation.

Sitta on it!

Where is my bomb vest and my boyfriend?!

Hand over the goat porn magazines and nobody gets hurt.

Now you're sure this headband makes me invisible to the juice?

What you mean I have to register "assault rifle" and pay $200 fee? I don't have $200! I am poor oppressed freedom fighter!

Previous:
Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Mocking Ahmed Isma'il Abu Msameh Of Hamas Edition #3 (Update: Fatwas Issued)
Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Mocking Bilal Birrawi Of Hamas Edition #2(Bumped: Fatwas Issued)
Non-Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Mocking Saadi Maher Abu Kmail of Hamas Edition #1 Bumped: Fatwas Issued

January 08, 2013

And yelling, Kill! Kill! Kill!

Except, you know, I'm not really joking about that.

January 03, 2013

Fatwa?

Hat Tip: Tundra Tabloids.

January 02, 2013

Meet Ahmed Isma'il Abu Msameh who was sploded by the Juice in Operation Pillar of Defense

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Sorry bout the 'burp', this 12/30 post went somewhere and comments with it, but, I had saved em, so. I blame bronco bama

Anyways, Fatwas were issued

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Kafiroon for:

Relax Ahmed!
The juice will be so afraid of you that they will run away!
BOOOMMM!

His eyes look like 2 Jawa meatballs. Seriously.

I'm a mohamadan. I got nothing to live for.

Hurry and take the picture guys this thing is heavy... it's like man are you serious I'd rather have a bomb vest on...How come Achmed got the Bomb vest and I got stuck with this thing?"

Previous:
Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Mocking Bilal Birrawi Of Hamas Edition #2(Bumped: Fatwas Issued)
Non-Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Mocking Saadi Maher Abu Kmail of Hamas Edition #1 Bumped: Fatwas Issued

December 29, 2012

Meet Bilal Birrawi:

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against obsidian for:

Is that a Palistinian military grade Bong Billaly is carrying into his hole?

That lava light in the bottom pic gives it a homey feel, don't 'cha tink? (Shudder)

(Note: Deer in the headlight look)
Bilal: Unh Do any of you gays ahkis know how to read?

(Note: Deer in the headlight look)
Bilal: Unh this note says there is a pressure detonated mine holding up this chair.

Obsidian, it is a Palestinian sex toy.

Non-Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Mocking Saadi Maher Abu Kmail of Hamas Edition #1
Bumped: Fatwas Issued

December 21, 2012

h/t @ObamaDoctrine12

One Qassam member forgot his body armor, kinda.

December 20, 2012

Ooops, sorry about that.

Here is the English one:

Ameeen.

Fatwa?

December 18, 2012

Alternative title: Exploitation of Muslimahs by Anjem Choudary & Omar ( the goat humping) Bakri Mohamed.

Fatwas will be issued.[post bumped for short while, scroll down for newer]

Fatwas issued.

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against The Man From Athens for:

You want to see the rest big boy?

Call to a Afghan Butcher Shop...
wing wing... Hello Habib's Meat Shack.
customer: Do you sell your meatballs loose or wrapped?
Habib: Ha you funny my meatballs are always loose and free....it's the women we wrap up.

Would someone like to play Hide the Meatball with me!

Rusty:
Your outfit has to be in the appropriate camo color for where your hunting deer or geese!

No wonder they all stay away!
Basic Black, Good Grief!

I am a man, born in a woman's body.
No wait, I am woman, born in a man's body.

That's not right either.

I am obviously a liberated Muslim man wearing a large black garbage bag for kinky thrills to disguise myself when going on a jihad run against the infidel.

Image credit: Zionist bandwidth bitch

Related: Anjem Choudary's Shariah4Pakistan Not Welcome - In Pakistan

December 14, 2012

Fatwa?

Thanks to Lauren.