April 13, 2016
Fatwa This! Turkey's Leading Turkey Edition
With all due respect, which in any free country is none whatsoever let me stand in solidarity with Jan Böhmermann in saying this, Erdogan sucks balls!
German comedian has been placed under police protection after reading a crude poem about Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan on television.Its not really surprising that Mr. Böhmermann is earning a Fatwa.
A police car was parked in front of Jan Böhmermann’s house, although it was not immediately clear if a concrete threat had been made against him.
German newspaper Bild website reported that the satirist and his family were allegedly facing a threat from the Turkish president’s supporters.
Remember Turkey refused to allow the US to use any of its territory during the Iraq war, despite is NATO membership.
The number one country that Jawa Report received Islamist threats to our lives was so called secular Turkey.
In fact fact every one of the Fatwas we give out in caption contests are quotes from Turkish Muslims who wanted to "Cut Ur Neck" for photoshoping Korans and various other insults to just about everyone.
So here with out further comment is the video that Erdogan hates and an English translation of some of the best parts.
Oh and Mr. Erdogan, next time you come to our country don't send your goons to attack protesting Kurds, that may fly in Turkey but here Kurds are free to protest. And their right to call you everything but a white boy is protected.
Mr. Erdogan can suck it!
March 21, 2016
Fatwa This! Mirror Mirror Edition
Pat goes for a Fatwa!
March 18, 2016
Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: ISIS Slave Auction Edition (Fatwas Issued!)
للبيع غنم نعيم— حراج كل شي (@7ra_g) March 11, 2016
العدد ١٠٠ غنم مراح واحد
الغنم دفيع وشباب
Fatwas will be issued.
Update: Fatwas Issued!
The I will cut UR neck Fatwa issued against EyeSurgeon for
Alahu akbaaaaa!The Why U insult Holly Koran? Fatwa issued against Ron for
Cruz voters.Boy oh boy are we gonna pay for that one!
Come one guys, its a joke? You understand, right?
Anyway, the Devil will do meetballs from ur body Fatwa issued against The Man From Athens for
So many babes. So little time.
March 01, 2016
Nadine Al-Budair Editorial on Islamic Terrorism
iberal Saudi journalist Nadine Al-Budair, who lives in Qatar, penned an article in the Kuwaiti daily Al-Rai in which she wondered how Muslims would have acted if Christians had blown themselves up in their midst or tried to force their faith on them.Expect her home nation of Saudi Arabia to issue a Fatwa. And not the good kind of Fatwa, like a total Death Fatwa.
She presented the hypothetical question while calling on the Muslim world to be introspective and enact reforms, instead of condemning Western attitudes towards it.
“Imagine a Western youth coming here and carrying out a suicide mission in one of our public squares in the name of the Cross. Imagine that two skyscrapers had collapsed in some Arab capital, and that an extremist Christian group, donning millennium-old garb, had emerged to take responsibility for the event, while stressing its determination to revive Christian teachings or some Christian rulings, according to its understanding, to live like in the time [of Jesus] and his disciples, and to implement certain edicts of Christian scholar,” she wrote, according to a translation of the article by the Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI).
February 12, 2016
Saudi Arabia Issues Fatwa Against Uncovered Princess Mascot
Because she was a dirty dirty whore princess!. Princess whore? I dunno.
Religious police in Saudi Arabia detained a pastry shop’s cross-dressing mascot — for showing a little too much skin.Maybe this outrage against Pastry Princesses will finally get Oliver Willis' attention on Islamic oppression?
As part of a promotional campaign, a bakery in Riyadh had the man dress up in a costume depicting an unveiled Muppet-like woman in a blue gown.
October 29, 2015
Fatwa This! Islamic State! Danger! Romance!
Caption or create your own meme... Fatwas will be issued.
Probably against me, but you don't want me taking all the credit and getting all the reward.
May 07, 2015
A Cartoon Worthy of Death
Behold, the image that won the Draw Mohammad contest.
Many websites & TV shows aren't showing my prize-winning Mohammad cartoon in their reports. Help fix that by sharing. pic.twitter.com/ghegMe8i2h— Bosch Fawstin (@BoschFawstin) May 6, 2015
Remember when Monty Python got all those death threats for that one blasphemous movie? And all the Lefties were all, like, "Hey, I support free speech, BUT .... "? Good times. Good times.
April 04, 2015
Christ-O-Phobia Sweeps Australia
March 21, 2015
Fatwas Fatwas Everywhere
Jihadica:Fatwa Fatwa Fatwa.Numbered and dated, the fatwas bear the insignia of the Islamic State’s Council for Research and Fatwa Issuing (Hay’at al-Buhuth wa’l-Ifta’), which seems modeled on Saudi Arabia’s body of similar name and purpose. Presumably, the Islamic State’s fatwa council is controlled by the larger Islamic State Shari’a Council, which carries real political weight. Recently, a former Islamic State mufti reportedly stated: “There’s nothing that is decided without the Sharia Council’s approval.” At the council’s helm, suggests Iraqi expert Hisham al-Hashimi, is the 30-year-old Bahraini scholar Turki al-Bin‘ali. The latter is likely the author, coauthor, or editor of some of the fatwas.
Is it permissible for the wives of martyrs to leave with their children for the lands of unbelief?IS has a certain Hotel Jonestown ring to it, no?
Q. Is it permissible for the soldiers of the Islamic State to go to the lands of unbelief....
Whoso leaves the Abode of Islam for the Abode of Unbelief without a legitimate reason has committed a sin (ma‘siya)
Q. Is it permissible to travel to the areas under the control of the [Asad] regime for some need?
A. No. Travel to the lands of unbelief generally, and to the lands under the control of the regime specifically, is permissible only on the condition of one’s ability openly to disavow and show hatred to the unbelievers. We are certain that this condition is impossible to meet.
February 18, 2015
Where's Dr. Rusty Shackleford? Allahu Gaybar! Edition
He said some shit about packing to go to Islamic State or going to Islamic State to do some packing I dunno. Vinnie went with him, something about an oath.
I knew AQI was gay ever since the Perfumes Shura Council video.
Hat Tip: Serious.
February 14, 2015
Spunky Old Lady Gives ISIS What For
January 20, 2015
Zo Terrorizes Liberals
By exposing that Liberals abandoned themselves and every value they claim to stand for when they apologize for Islamic terror. Or speaking the truth, whatever.
Damn, Zo that is one brave stand you're taking. Bless you.
January 10, 2015
Sandcrawler PSA: Islamic Massacres And You
Hat Tip: Brad.
January 07, 2015
Pictures of Naked Muhammad: Because Some People Deserve to be Insulted
I don't normally go out of my way to insult people, but some people deserve to be insulted. If these images of Muhammad bother you, don't look at them. If you believe they should be illegal, then you and I have very different ideas about the limits of government and the inalienable rights of man.
If you believe violence is justified in suppressing them, then you should know that I believe violence is justified in protecting the right to publish them.
UPDATE: You can grab pics from the Mohammad image archive links listed here.
October 22, 2014
Save The Goats!
In the face of the recent attacks in Canada I feels its critical that we maintain our resolve in the face of ISIS murders. The Kurds agree.
October 20, 2014
Killing Jews For Allah Hab Been Quite Lucrative For Hamas
A line from Pat Condell's latest commentary.
September 29, 2014
Oversight? Jawa Report Still Not Banned in Kuwait
I would like to welcome our new Kuwaiti reader.
We're sorry this was all we had. But we're not banned in Kuwait? I could have sworn that at one time...... back in the day.
Anyway hang around, click some stuff, insult some people....
Its Jawa Report its just what we do.
September 15, 2014
Jawa Report Congratulates Gary Cass on His CAIR Fatwa
The reason Cass asked me to float his column was because his column got canned by Charisma magazine’s website. They originally posted it and then pulled it because, according to an insider, it was causing Charisma to receive threats from … guess who … Muslims. So, being the typical spineless wonders the church has come to be, Charisma yanked it less they tick off the perpetually perturbed Islam.Right on cue its CAIR using that word.
Let me see if I understand Charisma’s editorial decision making process: Islamists cut our journalists’ heads off, slaughter Christians in mass executions, burn churches to the ground and post it on YouTube, and a “Christian” website is afraid to run a column condemning such atrocities? You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s this kind of cowardice that’ll cause us to lose our religious liberty and possibly our lives.
So without further delay. Here is Mr. Cass's column
IT’S OFFICIAL: I’m Islamaphobic, Are You?Wow those are radical solutions, but pretty much all of them are the current policy of ISIL in Iraq and Syria. So while I don't quite agree with most of it, I do dig the bring Muslims to Jesus part. Removing the speech because of threats from Muslims is no solution.I confess, I’m “Islamaphobic,” but for very good reasons.
My fear is not an irrational fear based on uniformed prejudice; rather it’s an historic, clear eyed, informed, rational fear. ISSA is doing to America journalists what every true follower of Mohammed wants to do to you and yours; subjugate or murder you. They believe they have been given a mandate by Allah (Satan) to dominate the world.
Are there any solutions? All the seminars, petitions, books, laws, articles and other similar actions are worthless. Muslims laugh at us for how stupid we are when it comes to dealing with them.
Here’s three possible solutions, but really there’s only one.
1.) Conversion: Wouldn’t it be wonderful to see Muslims turn from Satan (Allah) to Christ? But, I agree with Phil Robertson, this is not biblically doable. Why? God has a plan and he revealed it at the birth of Ishmael, the father of the Arabs. “The Angel of the Lord said….He [Ishmael] will be an ass of a man; His hand shall be against every man, and every man’s hand against him…” (Genesis 16:11,12) The Arab Muslims are God’s sworn enemies and are ordained by God to be against everyone. That’s not to say there will not be a small percentage of Muslims who will be saved by faith in Christ.
2.) D.A.M.N.: Depart All Muslims Now. Deport them like Spain was forced to do when they deported the Muslim Moors. Muslims in America are procreating at twice the rate of other groups. So, either we force them all to get sterilized, or we wait for the “Army of Islam” to arise in our midst and do what Muslims always do, resort to violence.
3.) Violence: The only thing that is biblical and that 1400 years of history has shown to work is overwhelming Christian just war and overwhelming self defense. Christian Generals Charles Martel in 732 and Jon Sobieski in 1672 defeated Islamic Turks and their attempts to take the West. Who will God raise up to save us this time? Will God even intervene or turn us over to the Muslims for turning against Him?
Its not the Media tarring Islam with ISIS violence. ISIS is tarring Islam with Islam itself. Like I said before Islam is what Muslims say it is. And and awful lot of Muslims support ISIL and therefore their acts of outright barbarism, terror and genocide.
So the root cause of so called Islmaophobia might be sawing off people's heads on video, no?
Its seems CAIR might do a better job convincing ISIS that Islam is a religion of peace. Remove the actual threat and you remove the fear or the phobia as they call it.
So here's to wishing CAIR the best of luck in convincing ISIS supporters that Islam is a religion of peace, then the phobia will take care of itself.
Good luck with that.
September 10, 2014
Ahhh Smackbar! Canadian Terror Supporter Bilal Phillips Arrested In Philippines
And currently undergoing cornholing
DAVAO CITY: POLICE and immigration agents on Sunday arrested in this city Canadian Muslim scholar and professor Dr. Abu Ameen Bilal Philips, whom authorities suspect has ties with some Muslim radical extremist groups.Invited for questioning....Bwahahahahahaha.
Philips, who has been banned from entering the United States and the United Kingdom, was conducting a lecture in a predominantly Muslim village when he was invited for questioning and subsequently held in custody by authorities.
Chief Supt. Wendy Rosario, director of the Philippine National Police in Southern Mindanao, said the 68-year-old Philips is considered a threat to national security.
Rosario said Philips is being questioned for his possible links with terror groups including the ISIS (Islamic State in Iraq and Syria), noting that his records are enough to sound alarm bells as the scholar was also banned in Kenya, Germany and Australia. [More]
h/t @AlWalaaWalBaraa who just retweeted this:
Update: Note to self, school wannabe jihadi on cornholing:
September 08, 2014
Fatwa This! ISIS Flag Burns Edition
Irish Call for Islamic Schools to Admit Infidels and Observer International Blasphemy Rights Day
If its fair and promotes diversity to require Catholic and Public Schools to make accommodations for Muslim students sensitivities then should Islamic Schools not be required to make accommodations for Infidels?
The Atheist Ireland group has welcomed calls by Dr Ali Selim of the Islamic Cultural Centre in Dublin for a “revolution of inclusivity” in Irish schools and “an upheaval in Irish educational perspectives”.In Islamic schools will Blasphemy Rights Day include time set aside for the Muslim students to behead their classmates?
It(Atheist Ireland) also invited “ the two publicly funded national schools under the patronage of the Islamic Foundation of Ireland to lead the way by including the children of atheists and secularists in their schools.”
...It quoted from the school website, that: “The ethos of the school is distinctly Islamic....At the school children from 3rd class up perform midday (Dhuhr) prayer during the school day. On Friday (Jummah) the children from 3rd class up attend the congregational prayer.
“The uniform required for the students is in align with Islamic requirements (for example the code of dress).The class libraries include Islamic books in their stock, while Islamic posters and pictures add to the Islamic atmosphere.”
“Eight days are taken at the end of Ramadan and continues through Eid-ul-Fitr. Five days holiday are taken for Eid al-Adha...and that “hijab for girls (obligatory in 5th/6th class) must be white.”
Atheist Ireland “would prefer if our children did not get time off for all the religious festivals.... as they will miss a significant part of their education.” However, it also looked forward “to all schools recognising Darwin Day and International Blasphemy Rights Day.”
September 03, 2014
Dear ISIS (ISIL/IS): Steven Sotloff Was Israeli
Israeli media gag order was lifted today and notes Mr Sotloff made aliyah (immigrated) to Israel in 2005.
American journalist Steven Sotloff, who was brutally beheaded by the Islamic State (IS) terrorist group, took great risks to keep his Jewish faith in captivity, a former fellow-captive of the murdered journalist told Yediot Aharonoth.Yeah bitches, you blew it and he won!
However, it turns out that Sotloff was in fact Israeli.
A media gag order on the issue was released on Wednesday, allowing publication of the fact that Sotloff made aliyah (immigration) to Israel in 2005 by himself, and studied at the Interdisciplinary Center (IDC) Herzliya.[...]
Heroically maintaining Judaism under captivity
Sotloff reportedly made sure to fast in secret during Yom Kippur and even prayed in the direction of Jerusalem, as is customary in Jewish prayers, despite the risk he faced if his Islamist captors ever found out he was Jewish.
One of Sotloff's fellow captives, who was subsequently released, told the paper that he feigned illness in order to escape his captors' suspicions.
"He told them he was ill and didn't want to eat, even though they brought us eggs that day," the witness told Yediot Aharonoth, "It looked like he was praying in a hidden way towards Jerusalem. He noted what way the Muslims were praying in and changed his direction slightly."[ More]
Some people are commenting (His family is not pleased with Obama) that Mr Sotloff was beheaded on the same day Mr Foley was. Wrong! In the Foley beheading video Mr Sotloff was pretty much clean shaven including his hair. In the Sotloff beheading video his beard was starting to show as well as the hair on his head growing back.
Tip of the hat to @El_Grillo
I would like to remember Steven Sotloff this way:
Long time Jawa readers will recognize the "Death to all Juice" meme.
RP Steven Sotloff.
Update: Apparently he was a grandson of Holocaust survivors who immigrated to Florida.
August 26, 2014
Islamic State of Losers Makes Hate Hash
Jihadi media activists are orchestrating a new campaign on social networks in an attempt to ratchet up pressure on U.S. President Barack Obama. The ISIS militants want Obama to respond to their threats to execute American captive journalist Steven Sotloff. The well-planned campaign—which includes pre-formulated tweets, images and instructions for dissemination, all under the hashtag #StevensHeadInObamasHands—is being rolled out in Arabic in an ISIS forum called al-Manbar, where the group tends to post publications and instructions.Very well.
July 31, 2014
Scottish Terrier Offended By Being Forced To Wear Coat With Islamic Nation's Name
Use of Scottish terrier dogs during Commonwealth Games opening ceremony ‘shameful’ and ‘offensive’, Malaysian politicians claim.Smart dog.
...Around 40 Scottie dogs were used in the opening ceremony in Glasgow last Wednesday to lead teams around Celtic Park.
The dogs, which all wore tartan dog coats with the name of each team on them, were widely praised on social media
.... However, not everyone was as impressed. Political and religious leaders in Malaysia have claimed the use of dogs connected to Muslim countries was “disrespectful”.
Many Muslims refuse to have direct contact with dogs, which are considered by some to be “unclean” in Islamic culture. Some overseas Muslim groups have reportedly previously called for a jihad on dogs.
Possibly making matters worse was the fact that Jock, who was supposed to lead out the Malaysian team, sat down and refused to move as soon as his coat was put on.
Hat Tip: Allah.
July 08, 2014
Jawa Report's Annual Insult Omar! Open Thread (Fatwas Issued!)
Omar has a terribly empty feeling ---- in his skull!Add to the list, Fatwas will be issued.
Every girl has the right to be ugly, but Omar abused the privilege.
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if Omar had enough oxygen at birth?
Leaving so soon Omar? I was just about to poison the tea.
Omar has one brain cell, and it is fighting for dominance.
I don't think Omar is a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?
It is mind over matter. I don't mind, because Omar doesn't matter.
Omar doesn't sweat much, for a fat girl.
Omar is about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass.
Omar, would you like some cheese and crackers to go with that whine?
The overwhelming power of the sex drive was demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father Omar.
Someone said Omar isn't fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for him and said, 'oh yes she is.'
Update: Fatwas Issued!
The I Will Cut Ur Neck fatwa issued against Charles Martel for,
Omar sounds like a pussy.The Why U Insult Holly Koran fatwa issued against Faboutlaws for,
I wish people spoke that highly of me.And the Devil Will Do Meetballs From Ur Body fatwa issued against kekekekeke for,
Omar couldn't catch the clap in a Yemeni whore house.
June 20, 2014
In Search of Fatwa?
If you were like on Earth this week you heard that the US patent office, for some reason harrycouhgchokereidhack revoked the Washington Redskins Tradmark. So folks have been making suggestions. I like this one.
I like this one. Is their voting? pic.twitter.com/wQr31GzaC0— newyorkist (@Newyorkist) June 20, 2014
May 19, 2014
Fatwa This! The Real Green Birds of Paradise
You know, Islamists are always calling us the real terrorist and spreading this myth that dead muj become "Green Birds" and go strait to paradise.....
When I have the actual Green Birds of Paradise right here.
click for bigger boobs
Oh and just in case you were wondering what in the hell is taking Rusty so long, its his construction project.
click for bigger boobs
Hat Tip: WTF.
March 16, 2014
Fatwas Fatwas Everywhere
But not a single one for Jawa.
Here is the so called offensive tweet.
Haram and/or offensive to Muslims.
While tweets of the heads of Syrian Muslim Rebels who rebelled against the Abu Musab al-Zarqawi branch of al-Qaeda in Iraq's (ISIS) attempt to rule over Syria.
WARNING: Graphic images below the fold.
Update 03/18/2014: The person posing with the heads below the fold is Dutch jihadi Maar de teksten die K., alias Abudurahman. The heads are claimed to be al_nusra fighters who rebelled against ISIS.
bdurahman, apparently a Dutch jihadi from Almere, can be seen on You Tube with a bloody knife behind five cut-off heads. He is originally from Iraq, and has lived more than ten years in The Netherlands. He lived there off of social security as he was found unfit to work and used drugs against claustrophobia and schizophrenia.Hearing voices?
In 2012 an AFP picture emerged on which Abdurahman could be seen next to a dead body, while he was reading the Koran. Initially he joined the Jabhat-al Nusra movement in Syria, which is linked to Al Qaida. It seems that he has now moved to the even more barbarian ISIS jihadis
Batshit Homicidal Crazy?
*The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria wants you!
*Sorry about ruining your breakfast dude. Truth has a way of doing that. I'm sure the major networks have nice sanitized breakfast friendly news for you.
بعد قليل أن شاء الله أحداث القتال وغدر جبهة الجوﻻني في عبلة قرب تلجيجان ريتويت يا كرام pic.twitter.com/6s7vJKvsvH— أبوعبدالرحمن العراقي (@abudurahman50) March 15, 2014
Is Halal or not offensive to Muslims and is permitted by the silent and complicit Twitter, who might, you know, get a Fatwa for banning butchery and murder.
If you don't get why they murder of Muslims at the hands of other Muslims doesn't cause outrage, join the club.
March 12, 2014
Muslims Ban Upcoming Mega-Flop "Noah"
Meh, does this even bother anybody anymore?
One of the world's most respected Islamic institutions has issued a fatwa against a Hollywood epic about Noah's Ark because it 'contradicts the teachings of Islam'.This kind of censorship happens every day in the Islamic world and yet I'm told that the real villains are the Koch brothers.
Russell Crowe's £75million film Noah has also been banned in three Arab countries after religious leaders complained that it depicted the Biblical figure - who is also a holy messenger in the Koran.
Due to premiere later this month, the blockbuster will not show in Qatar, Bahrain or the United Arab Emirates and several other countries are expected to follow suit.
If I might bastardize a phrase from So I Married an Ax Murderer:Hey Jane, get me off this crazy thing called .... Earth.
March 01, 2014
Muslimas Smarter Than You Think
Hat Tip: Sam
The I Will Cur Ur Neck!Fatwa issued against Tonto for...
i've herd this goat joke before.. and i'm tired of all the kidding around..Seriously? Blasphemy!
The Why U insult Holly Koran Fatwa issued against Kuffar for...
Having a goat means never having to say you're sorry...The Devil Will Do Meetballs From Your Body Fatwa issued against Valerie for ....
I have no idea why my comment above posted three times. That was certainly not my intent.
February 24, 2014
Fatwa Forbidden For Kuffar Brunei
As Sharia descends upon Brunei, non-Muslims are also forbidden to drink alcohol in public or be in close proximity to a Muslim partner. The banned word list is probably an attempt to forestall criticism of Islam, which is also forbidden to non-Muslims in Islamic law. In the West, the mainstream media has already voluntarily adopted this Sharia provision, even without a banned word list.Fatwa? Fatwa? Fatwa?
“19 Islamic words banned for non-Muslims in Brunei,” from The Sun Daily, February 23 (thanks to The Religion of Peace):They are azan; baitullah; Al Quran; Allah; fatwa; Firman Allah; hadith; haji; hukum syara’; ilahi; Ka’bah; kalimah al syahadah; kiblat; masjid; imam; mufti; mu’min; solat; and wali.
Oh and Ka’bah, that's the big giant cube idol with the cylon vagina inside that all the Muslims bow to and worship five times a day.
Since we can't say Fatwa, can I get a religious ruling saying that I must face death for insulting the great Cylon Vagina Cult?