May 20, 2013

Man that thing is huge!

So he really IS a vampire.

Caption this and get a Fatwa. Limited time offer does not include shipping and handling.

May 05, 2013

Fatwas will be issued

*****Sticky***** scroll down for newer

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Nanabozoh and JarvisW for:

I will lay down, and I will play some funky music until I die!

...And your little DOG TOO!!!

You want Jawa meatballs? Right there. Get 'em while they're still hot.

Well if all you could get were meatballs like this you would be angry too.

Zubeidat Tsaernava stars in
WEEKEND AT ACHMED'S

...this Louis Vuitton handbag is NOT unIslamic! it's war booty from Lord & Taylor

There is no dirty heart in there!

We sacrificed it to allah and now he is a zombie.

Unlike Mashoom's moustache, this little muj does nothing to excite me.

........................

[April 21st Fatwas Issued]

[March 3rd Fatwas Issued]

[February 24th Fatwas Issued]

April 29, 2013

The defeat of new federal gun control laws in the Senate yesterday made Vice President Rex Kramer really really sad.

You know what to do kids.

Fatwas will be issued in 8 to 10 days or whenever I get to it whichever comes first.

Update: Fatwas Issued!

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Bubbe for:

Grumpy Cat Look-a-Like Contest losers.

Looks like I picked a bad day to stop shooting heroin.

Biden has just realized Obama cannot make him pregnant.

April 21, 2013

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against dahozho for:

Ok, G.I. Joe, this is ok, but do you have any goat porn?

ayrab: oh yeah baby, you got the meatballs? i got the sauce

Achmed : "Tara Reid's nipples don't look 'halal' if you know what I'm saying..."

Geetings:

Looks like it's time to get the old eyes checked again. For a moment there, I thought the soldier was reading IMAM magazine..

Image credit Tzvi via A.M.H.

And yes, I will get to those I haven't issued fatwas for yet, promise.

April 18, 2013

Caption this image of Russian President Vladimir Putin checking out the boobies.

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas Issued!

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against The Man From Athens for:

Sasha!?! Where's your mother?!

Wow her meatballs are bigger than mine!

femen titties: da!
code pink teats: nyet!

April 01, 2013

Only one person in this picture isn't smiling...

(Picture from IHateTheMedia)

March 03, 2013

Fatwas will be issued

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Okie Wan Rednecki for:

They burned his image. That should get him a 4th Purple Heart.

We all NOW know the real reason Cheech Marin got his hands burned. He was roasting meatballs !!

I like my meatballs covered in ketchup !

we the people demand the return of the munsters! where is our leader herman munster? all praise herman munster!!! ullu ullu ullu!!!!!!

John Kerry meets Emily Litella: They told the stories at times they had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of... oh wait, not Genghis Khan but the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood. Nevermind.

**Sticky** Scroll down to newer

1st image h/t @TarekFatah

February 24, 2013

And all I got was ___________________

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:

he "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against The Realist of Queensland for:

sent to receive my virgins but was pissed off when it turned out to be these guys in burkhas!

"This plate of Meatballs."

was featured on this list of "jihads hottest corpses."

All I got was my dirty heart separated from my dirty head.

.. A small picture on The Jawa Report with a bunch of other goat rapers!

Scroll down for newer posts

Fatwas will be issued

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Sandy Fluke for:

Chechen separatist warlord's, M'Balz Es -Hari (left), I-Zheet M'Drurz (Center) and Haid D'Salaami (right) demand recognition of the independence of Chechnya and also, tax payer funded personal hygiene items.

Maybe he frown because he have bubbling pile of warm meatballs squishing around in Tighty Whities.

"Jamal's pants were so tight everyone knew what religion he belonged to the moment he sat down."

Still showing where he shit his pants during the morning when he mistook a mo ped for a Predator drone M'druze sat for a picture with his Peeps.

His last pair of un shit in jogging pants to

February 10, 2013

Fatwas will be issued.

h/t Jon for me updated title/post.

Scroll down for newer posts.

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued, and, the best laugh I've had in a long time

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against moe mentum, [normally don't fatwa our own but: D Martyr] and Herr Wilson for:

fatima the goat was really pissed now that she had first hand knowledge of what a facial is.

From the looks of her snout, she doesn't swallow.

Careful boys, this goats a spitter.

One dose of Exlax and she's down the toilet.

Don't say a word my virgin child
Just let your inhibitions run wild
The secret is about to unfold

Upstairs before the night's too old
Tonights the night
It's gonna be alright
Cause I love you woman
Ain't nobody gonna stop us now

See? The jihadis don't want to kill us, they just want to get our goat.

What a slut! She's not wearing a Burka.

She's not too young! She may only be 1.5 years old but that's 10.5 in goat years!

Xariif Honey? Does this mean you will not sell me to the next village over?

Less than a week after posting her information on JihaiiMatch.com Fatima was preparing to walk down the aisle.

Her desperate bleatings said, "No"!But her eyes said,"yes".

Baaa , Xariff! where are you going!
Aww man , weve' only been married for 30 minutes and he's taking off with his best friend Mustafah again , and why the hell is Mustafah wearing my garterbelt!

Actually, fatwa for everyone.

February 03, 2013

(Click on image to enlarge)

White House Fatwas will be issued.

Update by Howie The I will cut ur neck Fatwa issued against pretty much everyone.

A larger version that may make photoshopping easier can be found HERE.

January 27, 2013

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:
The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Kafiroon for:

I only came to France for a "member' enhancement.
The goats all laugh at me. Someone gave me this flag and sign to get me into the bachi bazi club.

"when the moon god hitsa you eye like a big pizza pie you know his meatballs are next."

(sign reads) Allah be praised, I humped a French goat in protest!

To his horror, Achmed realized that the Al-Qaeda flag upside down looked like a bunch of ghey terrorists cornholing each other--and it was intentional.

Googlish below image:

Salafis and jihadists protests in front of the French embassy rejection of the war on Mali

Participated today Friday, January 18, 2013, dozens of Salafis and jihadists in Egypt, in the demonstration in front of the French embassy and called for by the stream of Islam year, which includes 22 Movement and Islamic trend notably movement are firm and the front Salafi stream of new Muslims and Jihad Salafi to denounce what they called the war "crusade" against Muslims in Mali .. The French government has announced since last Friday participation of African Union troops and the government in the fight against financial rebels there who are demanding the work of an Islamic emirate in northern Mali and threaten to overthrow the central government in the financial capital "Bamako" Among the most prominent rebel groups in Mali is the movement of "Ansar al-Din" faction "Iyad Ag Ghali" Movement "Tawhid and Jihad" and al-Qaeda in the north of the Maghreb and the insurgents fleeing from Libya after the fall of Gaddafi .. Next movement "Edit Ozoad" which calls for the work of the State of the Touareg.

January 21, 2013

Caption this image of Bill Clinton checking out the posterior view of Kelly Clarkson.

Hat Tip: Rick.

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Surely you can do better?

January 17, 2013

Fatwas will be issued

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Spartan & moe mentum for:

Psst,,,don't peak before they put the dress on the sheep!

maybe if we all light cigarettes the bus will finally come?!?

Mahmoud, we said meatballs, not camel balls!

By Allah these hemorrhoids are killing me!

Oh, Allah, not Xariif in a bikini again!

No, I wouldn't be a suicide bomber."

"Me neither."

"I'll pass."

"Me too."

"So, we're all pussies then?"

"Yeah."

"AWW man! Who shit their pants?! Last one to slap their forhead owns it!"

Ha,HA your it achmed you douchebag

I STILL don't see why Howie likes boobies better than camels or goats.

Scroll down for newer posts

January 10, 2013

This is a picture of:

1.) A 3-year-old's drawing of mountains

2.) The last, deep, dark thoughts of a suicidal Slinky�™

3.) An abstract doodle of boobies by Howie

4.) Obama's Treasury Secretary nominee's signature

Add your own guesses in comments.

Meet Hamas' Salem Aayesh Abu Sitta who was sploded by the Juice in Operation Pillar of Defense:

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:
The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Sheik Cameldung & Kafiroon for:

My favorit coler ith gween. I are thick of goat rear bwown. Wuv,abuboo, oom!!!

What do you mean "you don't hear anything?"
It's getting louder; a kind of soft whistle, air moving sort of a...

Just take the damn pictures guys; I can't hold this face forever, I need to use the potty. And why do I get the gun Akmed put together out of some spare parts and foam pipe insulation.

Sitta on it!

Where is my bomb vest and my boyfriend?!

Hand over the goat porn magazines and nobody gets hurt.

Now you're sure this headband makes me invisible to the juice?

What you mean I have to register "assault rifle" and pay $200 fee? I don't have $200! I am poor oppressed freedom fighter!

Previous:
Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Mocking Ahmed Isma'il Abu Msameh Of Hamas Edition #3 (Update: Fatwas Issued)
Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Mocking Bilal Birrawi Of Hamas Edition #2(Bumped: Fatwas Issued)
Non-Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Mocking Saadi Maher Abu Kmail of Hamas Edition #1 Bumped: Fatwas Issued

January 02, 2013

Meet Ahmed Isma'il Abu Msameh who was sploded by the Juice in Operation Pillar of Defense

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Sorry bout the 'burp', this 12/30 post went somewhere and comments with it, but, I had saved em, so. I blame bronco bama

Anyways, Fatwas were issued

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Kafiroon for:

Relax Ahmed!
The juice will be so afraid of you that they will run away!
BOOOMMM!

His eyes look like 2 Jawa meatballs. Seriously.

I'm a mohamadan. I got nothing to live for.

Hurry and take the picture guys this thing is heavy... it's like man are you serious I'd rather have a bomb vest on...How come Achmed got the Bomb vest and I got stuck with this thing?"

Previous:
Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Mocking Bilal Birrawi Of Hamas Edition #2(Bumped: Fatwas Issued)
Non-Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Mocking Saadi Maher Abu Kmail of Hamas Edition #1 Bumped: Fatwas Issued

December 29, 2012

Meet Bilal Birrawi:

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against obsidian for:

Is that a Palistinian military grade Bong Billaly is carrying into his hole?

That lava light in the bottom pic gives it a homey feel, don't 'cha tink? (Shudder)

(Note: Deer in the headlight look)
Bilal: Unh Do any of you gays ahkis know how to read?

(Note: Deer in the headlight look)
Bilal: Unh this note says there is a pressure detonated mine holding up this chair.

Obsidian, it is a Palestinian sex toy.

Non-Blog Sabbath Caption Contest: Mocking Saadi Maher Abu Kmail of Hamas Edition #1
Bumped: Fatwas Issued

December 22, 2012

Meet Saadi Maher Abu Kmail:

Fatwas will be issued

Fatwas issued: The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Storm Saxon's Gall Bladder for:

"All right, one more picture and then it's Mustafa's turn to wear the uniform."

Abu, You don't have the meetballs to hold or shoot That! Here! take this old AK so we don't lose that MG when the Juice blow your meetballs off."

Look how big a gun I'm holding up. I need tweezers to play with my little jihadist.

watch out kid your gonna put an eye out with that thing

December 18, 2012

Alternative title: Exploitation of Muslimahs by Anjem Choudary & Omar ( the goat humping) Bakri Mohamed.

Fatwas will be issued.[post bumped for short while, scroll down for newer]

Fatwas issued.

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against The Man From Athens for:

You want to see the rest big boy?

Call to a Afghan Butcher Shop...
wing wing... Hello Habib's Meat Shack.
customer: Do you sell your meatballs loose or wrapped?
Habib: Ha you funny my meatballs are always loose and free....it's the women we wrap up.

Would someone like to play Hide the Meatball with me!

Rusty:
Your outfit has to be in the appropriate camo color for where your hunting deer or geese!

No wonder they all stay away!
Basic Black, Good Grief!

I am a man, born in a woman's body.
No wait, I am woman, born in a man's body.

That's not right either.

I am obviously a liberated Muslim man wearing a large black garbage bag for kinky thrills to disguise myself when going on a jihad run against the infidel.

Image credit: Zionist bandwidth bitch

Related: Anjem Choudary's Shariah4Pakistan Not Welcome - In Pakistan

September 16, 2012

Yes, I know it isn't Sunday yet but the date I set says it is.

Fatwas will be issued.

September 09, 2012

Fatwas will be issued

September 02, 2012

Fatwas will be issued

August 27, 2012

Our Narcissist Commander-In-Chief honored a great America hero from the Space Race era by posting a picture of himself gazing at the crescent moon.

(Click For Full Image)

UPDATE: Something struck me as odd about this picture, beyond the narcissistic value. I noted the crescent moon in jest, but that made me curious enough to check the moon phases since Neil Armstrong passed away on the 25th. The moon phase that day was a "waxing gibbous," which means it appeared to be more than a half moon but less than a full moon, and was (is) increasing the illuminated area. So, assuming this picture was taken a day or two after Neil's death, the moon in the picture should be closer to full than a crescent.

I wonder why Obama is gazing at a clearly crescent moon? My conspiratorial side has a few ideas, but I'll spare you.

SooperMexican noticed this as well, and discovered the picture is actually a stock photo.

August 19, 2012

That's right, the Blog Sabbath can now fall on a Wednesday, because The One has made it so.

Update: Bumped up for the Blog Sabbath. You gots till Monday Jawas.

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas issued!...

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against You Have An Ugly Goat for

I am not an evil sorcerer. Seriously, how do these rumors even start.

The Loc-Nar with its creator.

I AM THE GOD PARTICLE!!

July 30, 2012

Fatwas will be issued

Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Birdhurd for:

Ahhhhhhh...Baked Beans and the Interwebs...purrfect together.

Clearly Meatball Envy

I can haz jihad?

"If these thought-bubbles contained any actual thoughts, I wouldn't have left the hard drive behind."

What a multi-dimentional moron.

Related:

7/7 bomber's widow, Samantha Lewthwaite, put on world's 'most wanted' list
Are You Gonna Make a Nasheed Out Of That?
7/7 London Bombings

July 12, 2012

I guess that's what she's saying...

You decide:

Carol Brady Hairdos (Left from movie, right from television series)

(Hat Tip for protest picture: Gateway Pundit)

For those of you who like to express yourselves with photoshops instead of captions, your blank slate is below the fold.

June 30, 2012

Fatwas will be issued.

Fatwas issued:

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Captain Harlock for:

We could replace her pic with those of Anjem Choudary and Abu Hamza.

i will defend the family meatball recipe to the death infidel!

So Achmed, you like the goat better than me do you . . .

Although she frightened off the dirty Kafir, Achmed had to beat her for showing too much wrist.

CAIR was also outraged over the Arabic writing behind the Mujahidah target.

June 21, 2012

Little did we know, Chewbacca shaved his face and hands and has been living amongst us all along.

Click to Enlarge - (Like You'd Really Want To...)

June 07, 2012

Caption this image of former President Clinton er, mingling.

Bonus points if you can work his Secret Service detail into it.

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas Issued! Sorry so late but we were waiting on input from our Islamic scholar Abu Yahya al-Libi. Looks like he won't participating any longer. So sad.

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Captain Harlock for:

Secret Service Agent says, Mr. President, be careful, sir. The red head has a blue dress. The outfit has historically been unkind to you.

LE PORNOSTAR DI CLINTON.

OK ladies, time to introduce you to Special Agent Dick Blow.

May 22, 2012

Caption this image of three idiots in black shirts that were arrested in Chicago.

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas Issued!

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Stephen Macklin for:

"Many observers have noted that Tea Party membership is predominantly white." – NYT

Holy Crap balls batman those are some huge meatballs.

Come to my house and I'll cut your head off.

* Because if you can't laugh at advocacy of genocide of the Jewish race wrapped in the cloak of a religion of peace what can you laugh at?

May 06, 2012

Janet Hamllin/Miami Herald/Court Sketch Artist- Pentagon-paid civilian defense lawyer Cheryl Borman, who is defending accused 9/11 co-conspirator Walid bin Attash, appears in this courtroom sketch, wearing a headscarf and abaya at the arraignment of the five accused 9/11 co-conspirators at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, Saturday, May 5, 2012. At one point, she asked the judge to order all female attorneys on the case to wear similar garb so her client would not sin by seeing them in Western clothes. The five defendants are in the background.

Click here to see her without her Islamist mandated dress code

April 21, 2012

Caption this image of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton living it up living it up, Oh Yeah!.

Update: Fatwas issued!... (Fatwa recipients were selected as quickly as possible with little thought and a lot of random guessing by yours truly, Howie.)

The "i will cut ur neck" fatwa issued against Herr Wilson for

You are the cankle queen
Not so young and sweet
Almost seventy
Cankle queen
Feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance
You can jive
Having the time of your life
See that girl
Watch that scene
Diggin the cankle queen

The "devil will do meetballs from your bodies" fatwa issued Old Cowboy for

Tell the truth. It's late, she's drunk. You'd tap that, you know you would.

The "why u insult holly quoran" fatwa issued against Nanabozoh and Lasertex for

Dancing with Vince Foster..

Friday night and the lights are low......

April 04, 2012

Via Ace, the photo is obligatory ... funny ... and yet, somehow disturbing.

March 29, 2012

Apparently, some black men can't jump either...

Leave your captions at Moonbattery as well. It's where I swiped the picture. Let's show them how caption contests are done. ;)

March 15, 2012

The Mad Mullahs are sponsoring a contest for best cartoon that depicts their anti-Semitic Global March to Jerusalem[Read it all]:

Iranian Involvement in the Marches to Israel's Borders Planned for March 30, 2012[...]

.....6) An Iranian website connected, in our assessment, to the Iranian regime, initiated a cartoon contest in support of the marches. The cartoons are supposed to deal with the theme of the so-called "right of return" of the Palestinian refugees and with opposition to the so-called "occupation" of Jerusalem. Each of the three winning entries will receive a prize of $1000 and a trophy. Entries are to be sent to the Irancartoon.com website[Send entries to: Info@irancartoon.com ...ed], the same site which on August 14, 2006, a few months before the Holocaust denial convention was held in Tehran, announced a contest for anti-Semitic, Holocaust denying cartoons. Two of the winning entries in 2006 were the following:

Fatwas are waiting to be had!

More on the march at gm2j.co and at Aaron's forum

March 13, 2012

Its been a while since we did a caption contest, so here is one (from Gateway Pundit):

(Click to enlarge. Afghans marched in the streets of Jalabad today with an effigy of Barack Obama.)

Below the fold, a close-up of the effigy.

(Click to enlarge.)

February 11, 2012

Yah, I'm back but don't expect a lot from me unless Rsluty gives me a raise!

Back to the reason for my headline:

Caption contest?