January 14, 2019

Sandcrawler PSA: Allah Displeased

We're not sure exactly what is pissing Allah off, but whatever you people are doing, stop doing that.

massive swarm of locusts plagued Mecca, Saudi Arabia, earlier this week, prompting authorities at Islam’s holiest site to launch a cleaning operation to remove them.

Videos posted to social media showed the insects swarming around cleaners and worshipers in the city’s Grand Mosque, where millions of Muslim pilgrims congregate every year.

In conclusion, we advise you all to run for your lives or something.

We're too old and tired, besides the Sandcrawler affords us a certain protection from Armageddon, also we have a salvage contract on your droids, vaporators, etc etc.

By Howie at 08:27 AM | Comments |

May 30, 2016


Vinnie Jr. passed A school and is on his next phase of his Navy training. Little turd hasn't been in a whole year and he's Petty Officer Third Class Vinnie Jr.

Damn nukes.

I'd share a picture, but, opsec.

Thank you for your support.

By Vinnie at 11:09 AM | Comments |


By Vinnie at 08:44 AM | Comments |

May 11, 2016

When Vinnie Met Rusty

Who is who? I'll never tell.


By Vinnie at 05:26 PM | Comments |

March 14, 2016

Vinnie Junior Update

Hey, remember me? The retired coblogger with the the kid who joined the Navy? Well, he made it through boot camp and just scored one of the highest scores on his final A school exam. He moves on to the rest of his schooling after some well deserved leave time.

I couldn't be prouder.

By Vinnie at 04:35 PM | Comments |

February 08, 2016

An Open Post To A Fan

Dear hot naughty teacher that emailed us. Every male blogger here is 13.

See you soon?

By Vinnie at 08:27 PM | Comments |

September 15, 2015


My son left for boot camp today.

I don't post much, but keep him in your prayers, please.

By Vinnie at 06:04 PM | Comments |

April 03, 2015

Happy Good Friday / Passover **Sticky**

For our Jewish friends, Chag Pesach Sameach. For we Christians, it is the day we commemorate the death of our Lord, the Supreme Passover Lamb.

And it was the preparation of the passover, and about the sixth hour: and he saith unto the Jews, Behold your King! But they cried out, Away with him, away with him, crucify him. Pilate saith unto them, Shall I crucify your King? The chief priests answered, We have no king but Caesar. Then delivered he him therefore unto them to be crucified. And they took Jesus, and led him away.

And he bearing his cross went forth into a place called the place of a skull, which is called in the Hebrew Golgotha: Where they crucified him, and two other with him, on either side one, and Jesus in the midst. And Pilate wrote a title, and put it on the cross. And the writing was JESUS OF NAZARETH THE KING OF THE JEWS.

This title then read many of the Jews: for the place where Jesus was crucified was nigh to the city: and it was written in Hebrew, and Greek, and Latin. Then said the chief priests of the Jews to Pilate, Write not, The King of the Jews; but that he said, I am King of the Jews. Pilate answered, What I have written I have written.

Then the soldiers, when they had crucified Jesus, took his garments, and made four parts, to every soldier a part; and also his coat: now the coat was without seam, woven from the top throughout.

They said therefore among themselves, Let us not rend it, but cast lots for it, whose it shall be: that the scripture might be fulfilled, which saith, They parted my raiment among them, and for my vesture they did cast lots. These things therefore the soldiers did.

Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene.

When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!

Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.

After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the scripture might be fulfilled, saith, I thirst.

Now there was set a vessel full of vinegar: and they filled a sponge with vinegar, and put it upon hyssop, and put it to his mouth.

When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost.

Now it was the day of Preparation, and the next day was to be a special Sabbath. Because the Jewish leaders did not want the bodies left on the crosses during the Sabbath, they asked Pilate to have the legs broken and the bodies taken down. The soldiers therefore came and broke the legs of the first man who had been crucified with Jesus, and then those of the other.

But when they came to Jesus and found that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water.

The man who saw it has given testimony, and his testimony is true. He knows that he tells the truth, and he testifies so that you also may believe.

These things happened so that the scripture would be fulfilled: “Not one of his bones will be broken,” and, as another scripture says, “They will look on the one they have pierced.”

Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jewish leaders. With Pilate’s permission, he came and took the body away. He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds. Taking Jesus’ body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs.

At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:59 PM | Comments |

March 06, 2015

FIRE!!! (Update)

If you're on Facebook, report this.

Make sure you hit "report page".

BOOM! Well done!

By Vinnie at 04:16 PM | Comments |

March 03, 2015

If You Live In The Washington, D.C. Area

There will be a Support the Kurds rally in front of the White House on May 23rd. More details as I get them.

By Vinnie at 06:53 PM | Comments |

March 02, 2015

Jawas, You know what to do (Update: Slave Market Closed)

Islamic State of Losers are selling Yazidi girls on the internet. I'm not linking the site.

DNS to complain to: ABUSE@ENOM.COM or @enom.

Registry Domain ID: 1902799839_DOMAIN_COM-VRSN
Registrar WHOIS Server: WHOIS.ENOM.COM
Update Date: 2015-02-14T03:00:10.00Z
Creation Date: 2015-02-14T03:00:00.00Z
Registrar Registration Expiration Date: 2016-02-14T03:00:00.00Z
Registrar: ENOM, INC.
Registrar IANA ID: 48
Registrar Abuse Contact Email: ABUSE@ENOM.COM

Abuse contact info for hosting at abuse@proserve.nl @proserve or abuse@weservit.nl @WeservIT.

The website was only for use in nations were human trafficking is legal. That would be like nowhere except Islamic State.



Now its nowhere.

By Vinnie at 08:54 PM | Comments |

December 23, 2014

Proud Papa Update

My boy passed the test for the Navy's nuclear program. He's aiming for Reactor Engineer.


By Vinnie at 06:24 PM | Comments |

August 01, 2014

Ebola? Seriously? Why The Freak Out

Let's put this into perspective, Hanta virus has been killing Americans for years. As you read this, there are thousands of things out there trying to kill you.

For fuck's sake. Get a grip. You're going to die anyway.

I leave you with this quote:

"You're going to die a horrible death, remember. It's all good training, and you'll enjoy it more if you keep the facts in mind.
Take your dying with some seriousness, however. Laughing on the way to your execution it not generally understood by less advanced lifeforms, and they'll call you crazy."

- Richard Bach, "Illusions"

By Vinnie at 08:56 PM | Comments |

July 31, 2014

She's Home

Welcome, Meriam.

We're far from perfect, but, even so, we're light years ahead of that barbaric 7th century savagery you barely escaped from.

Many prayers for you and your family.

BTW, if you're worried about being sent back, just fly to Mexico City, board a train north, and you'll be set.

Okay that was a little much. But, seriously, welcome.

By Vinnie at 08:24 PM | Comments |

July 29, 2014

An Open Post To A Raging Butt Snuggling Anal Wart

You, bitch, are a fucking disgrace.

You're a dick. A fuckhole. A rampaging douche. Twatwaffle. Simpering shitnozzle. Bottom feeding parasitic shit eating bag of ooze.

Want defamation? You claiming you were a SEAL. You never were. Liar.

Oh, sorry, was that defamation? Sue me, won't change the fact you still got your ass kicked. By a real American hero.

BTW, when will you sue yourself for defamation of character?


By Vinnie at 09:01 PM | Comments |

July 27, 2014

Where's Howie?

Waiting for Rusty to come and play with him.


By Vinnie at 04:55 PM | Comments |

July 22, 2014

Storm Saxon's Kittehs

I promised. Here are SSGB's kittehs. Below the fold. Cuz you may die of teh cute.





By Vinnie at 05:16 PM | Comments |

July 21, 2014


I declare a blogwar!

Hot Air? Dead!

Breitbart? Dead!

The Blaze? Dead!

American Thinker? Wait? Who?

By Vinnie at 06:36 PM | Comments |

July 04, 2014

A Republic, If You Can Keep It *Sticky*


And if someone tells you to have a safe Fourth of July, throat punch them. If you have need of our services, don't bother. We're all shitfaced and trying blow ourselves up!

Except for Rusty. Wuss.

Almost forgot.

If you need a NSFW warning get your lame ass back to Cuba, you fucking hippie.

By Vinnie at 11:59 PM | Comments |

June 06, 2014

70 Years *Sticky, Scroll for newer posts*

"It is foolish and wrong to mourn those who have died, rather, we should thank God that such men lived". -- General George Patton.

By Vinnie at 06:00 PM | |

May 31, 2014

Yes, Let's Trade Five Terrorists For The Guy Who Deserted His Post

Phew. Glad THAT'S over. I'm so happy to know that we are now officially negotiating with terrorists to get someone who willingly walked away from his post returned. And he'll get an undeserved hero's welcome, rather than the court-martial he deserves.

But hey, look who raised him. Here's a recent tweet from his dear old dad.

Yeah, welcome home.

By Vinnie at 05:53 PM | Comments |

May 04, 2014

The Official Holiday of The Jawa Report



By Vinnie at 01:54 PM | Comments |

April 17, 2014

Today We Laid To Rest A Hero

My father-in-law. Saw combat in Korea defending the Pusan Perimeter. Supported the troops in Vietnam while doing two tours in Thailand loading bombs on planes. He was an Air Force lifer, retired with full pension.

He taught me how to hunt deer. He taught me pretty much everything I knew about firearms. His job in the USAF was weapons. Yet he thought the 2nd Amendment applied to hunting rifles.

So he was also a staunch Democrat. The kind I look at and go "you voted for Obama"?

I don't care, I will always love and miss him.

RIP Pops.

Below the fold is my son's eulogy to him.

 photo 2047_zps1ed4f395.jpg

By Vinnie at 08:30 PM | Comments |

February 04, 2014

Twitter Users, Now Is The Time To RT

By Vinnie at 05:56 PM | Comments |

January 29, 2014

Notorious Hate Corporation Doubles Down On Its Hate By Attempting To Murder Stranded Motorists With Its Fat Fat Fatty Death Meals

The Usual Suspects.

Some of the drivers had been stuck in their cars for nearly seven hours without any food or water. So the staff of the Chick-fil-A decided to lend a helping hand.

“We cooked several hundred sandwiches and stood out on both sides of 280 and handed out the sandwiches to anyone we could get to – as long as we had food to give out.”

Dear Lord, this is hatred only equal to Wal Mart.

What's worse, these hypocrites violated their own Christian creed by attempting to get strangers to sleep together! Bastards!

“We opened up our dining room to anyone who wanted to sleep on a bench or a booth,” Audrey told me.


By Vinnie at 06:44 PM | Comments |

January 28, 2014

Live Blogging The SOTU

I'm here! I could only get a minute and a half before I was recognized and thrown out but I got this!

By Vinnie at 09:59 PM | Comments |

January 27, 2014

Congrats To The Lucky Virgins

Bitches love drones.

The US military has launched a missile strike in Somalia targeting a suspected Al Shabaab militant leader.

Yay us. We should have nuked that hellhole in 1993.

By Vinnie at 01:41 AM | Comments |

January 15, 2014


Rusty is busy today so he asked us to post something. Okay, boss, here you go.

BTW, have you seen our Facebook page? It's been awhile since I pimped it.

By Vinnie at 06:00 PM | Comments |

November 22, 2013

Where's Howie?

Wal Mart.

By Vinnie at 05:14 PM | Comments |

November 21, 2013

While The Boss Is Away


By Vinnie at 07:53 PM | Comments |

The Post Wherein I Confess That I Am, After All, A Racist

For you see, recently I've gotten into the long lost habit of having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. Usually on Sundays, because I'm more interested in the Packers game than eating.

Little did I know, this rebirth of an old standby lunch would make me a cross burning oppressor of minorities.

“What about Somali or Hispanic students, who might not eat sandwiches?” Gutierrez asked. “Another way would be to say: ‘Americans eat peanut butter and jelly, do you have anything like that?’ Let them tell you. Maybe they eat torta. Or pita.”

…The Tribune noted that the school started the new year with “intensive staff trainings, frequent staff meetings, classroom observations and other initiatives,” to help educators understand their own “white privilege,” in order to “change their teaching practices to boost minority students’ performance.”"Last Wednesday, the first day of the school year for staff, for example, the first item of business for teachers at Scott School was to have a Courageous Conversation — to examine a news article and discuss the ‘white privilege’ it conveys,” the Tribune added.

Last time I checked, we racist sewer dwellers ate tortas. And pitas. And tortillas and pretty much many other different types of foods from all of the races that have come to this country from all over the globe.

So chow down on that quesadilla. Nom on that gyro. Gorge on the fried rice. Hell, chomp on that fried grasshopper while you're at it.

But don't eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, you racist bastard.

By Vinnie at 06:57 PM | Comments |

November 14, 2013

Where's Rusty? Gone Clamming

Good job. For executing the oldest known animal.

It had already been confirmed as the oldest animal that ever lived. But scientists who accidentally killed Ming the Mollusc, a deep sea clam dredged from the North Atlantic, have now discovered it was 100 years older than previously thought. Following painstaking analysis, experts from Bangor University reckon the animal was born in 1499, making it 507 when it was found.


By Vinnie at 11:33 PM | Comments |

November 11, 2013

Veterans Day 2013 *sticky*

I did my Navy time, but I suck compared to this.

Known as the Doolittle Raiders, the 80 men who risked their lives on a World War II bombing mission on Japan after the attack on Pearl Harbor were toasted one last time by their surviving comrades and honored with a Veterans Day weekend of fanfare shared by thousands.

God bless them, and all that served.

By Vinnie at 11:56 PM | Comments |

October 16, 2013

Dear Government

You went full retard. Assholes. Except for Ted Cruz and that other guy. The rest, fuck you with a cactus.

By Vinnie at 11:06 PM | Comments |

October 12, 2013

EBT Card System Down. Women, Minorities, Ahnald Hardest Hit

Millions of poor people who just so happen to have smartphones, tablets, and computers hop on the internet to threaten riots and spread misinformation that the EBT outage is due to the shutdown.

Not sure if this is art imitating life, or life imitating art. At any rate, all I have to say is if you want to feed your family without having to worry about EBT outages, try this:

By Vinnie at 04:15 PM | Comments |

September 30, 2013

How Jawas View The Government Shutdown

No rent, and out the door we went.

By Vinnie at 11:30 PM | Comments |

September 04, 2013

Shana Tova!

Shana Tova to all our Jewish readers.

And although I'm not a Jew, I do play one on TV and in Greyrooster's mind.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 02:38 PM | Comments |

June 26, 2013

In Other News

While we're all distracted by the Supreme Court DOMA decision and Paula Deen news (yes, I'm guilty) let's not forget that Obummer is cutting our military strength.

I will still sleep well knowing that if they live in the right state, Rusty and Howie can get married and receive full federal benefits.

By Vinnie at 10:13 PM | Comments |