August 01, 2014

Ebola? Seriously? Why The Freak Out

Let's put this into perspective, Hanta virus has been killing Americans for years. As you read this, there are thousands of things out there trying to kill you.

For fuck's sake. Get a grip. You're going to die anyway.

I leave you with this quote:

"You're going to die a horrible death, remember. It's all good training, and you'll enjoy it more if you keep the facts in mind.
Take your dying with some seriousness, however. Laughing on the way to your execution it not generally understood by less advanced lifeforms, and they'll call you crazy."

- Richard Bach, "Illusions"

By Vinnie at 08:56 PM | Comments |

July 31, 2014

She's Home

Welcome, Meriam.

We're far from perfect, but, even so, we're light years ahead of that barbaric 7th century savagery you barely escaped from.

Many prayers for you and your family.

BTW, if you're worried about being sent back, just fly to Mexico City, board a train north, and you'll be set.

Okay that was a little much. But, seriously, welcome.

By Vinnie at 08:24 PM | Comments |

July 29, 2014

An Open Post To A Raging Butt Snuggling Anal Wart

You, bitch, are a fucking disgrace.

You're a dick. A fuckhole. A rampaging douche. Twatwaffle. Simpering shitnozzle. Bottom feeding parasitic shit eating bag of ooze.

Want defamation? You claiming you were a SEAL. You never were. Liar.

Oh, sorry, was that defamation? Sue me, won't change the fact you still got your ass kicked. By a real American hero.

BTW, when will you sue yourself for defamation of character?

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By Vinnie at 09:01 PM | Comments |

July 27, 2014

Where's Howie?

Waiting for Rusty to come and play with him.

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By Vinnie at 04:55 PM | Comments |

July 22, 2014

Storm Saxon's Kittehs

I promised. Here are SSGB's kittehs. Below the fold. Cuz you may die of teh cute.

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By Vinnie at 05:16 PM | Comments |

July 21, 2014

1,2,3,4

I declare a blogwar!

Hot Air? Dead!

Breitbart? Dead!

The Blaze? Dead!

American Thinker? Wait? Who?

By Vinnie at 06:36 PM | Comments |

July 04, 2014

A Republic, If You Can Keep It *Sticky*

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And if someone tells you to have a safe Fourth of July, throat punch them. If you have need of our services, don't bother. We're all shitfaced and trying blow ourselves up!

Except for Rusty. Wuss.

Almost forgot.

If you need a NSFW warning get your lame ass back to Cuba, you fucking hippie.

By Vinnie at 11:59 PM | Comments |

June 06, 2014

70 Years *Sticky, Scroll for newer posts*

"It is foolish and wrong to mourn those who have died, rather, we should thank God that such men lived". -- General George Patton.

By Vinnie at 06:00 PM | |

May 31, 2014

Yes, Let's Trade Five Terrorists For The Guy Who Deserted His Post

Phew. Glad THAT'S over. I'm so happy to know that we are now officially negotiating with terrorists to get someone who willingly walked away from his post returned. And he'll get an undeserved hero's welcome, rather than the court-martial he deserves.

But hey, look who raised him. Here's a recent tweet from his dear old dad.


Yeah, welcome home.

By Vinnie at 05:53 PM | Comments |

May 04, 2014

The Official Holiday of The Jawa Report

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Enjoy!

By Vinnie at 01:54 PM | Comments |

April 17, 2014

Today We Laid To Rest A Hero

My father-in-law. Saw combat in Korea defending the Pusan Perimeter. Supported the troops in Vietnam while doing two tours in Thailand loading bombs on planes. He was an Air Force lifer, retired with full pension.

He taught me how to hunt deer. He taught me pretty much everything I knew about firearms. His job in the USAF was weapons. Yet he thought the 2nd Amendment applied to hunting rifles.

So he was also a staunch Democrat. The kind I look at and go "you voted for Obama"?

I don't care, I will always love and miss him.

RIP Pops.

Below the fold is my son's eulogy to him.

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By Vinnie at 08:30 PM | Comments |

February 04, 2014

Twitter Users, Now Is The Time To RT


By Vinnie at 05:56 PM | Comments |

January 29, 2014

Notorious Hate Corporation Doubles Down On Its Hate By Attempting To Murder Stranded Motorists With Its Fat Fat Fatty Death Meals

The Usual Suspects.

Some of the drivers had been stuck in their cars for nearly seven hours without any food or water. So the staff of the Chick-fil-A decided to lend a helping hand.

“We cooked several hundred sandwiches and stood out on both sides of 280 and handed out the sandwiches to anyone we could get to – as long as we had food to give out.”

Dear Lord, this is hatred only equal to Wal Mart.

What's worse, these hypocrites violated their own Christian creed by attempting to get strangers to sleep together! Bastards!

“We opened up our dining room to anyone who wanted to sleep on a bench or a booth,” Audrey told me.

OH THE HUMANITY!!!!!!

By Vinnie at 06:44 PM | Comments |

January 28, 2014

Live Blogging The SOTU

I'm here! I could only get a minute and a half before I was recognized and thrown out but I got this!

By Vinnie at 09:59 PM | Comments |

January 27, 2014

Congrats To The Lucky Virgins

Bitches love drones.

The US military has launched a missile strike in Somalia targeting a suspected Al Shabaab militant leader.

Yay us. We should have nuked that hellhole in 1993.

By Vinnie at 01:41 AM | Comments |

January 15, 2014

Something

Rusty is busy today so he asked us to post something. Okay, boss, here you go.

BTW, have you seen our Facebook page? It's been awhile since I pimped it.

By Vinnie at 06:00 PM | Comments |

November 22, 2013

Where's Howie?

Wal Mart.

By Vinnie at 05:14 PM | Comments |

November 21, 2013

While The Boss Is Away

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By Vinnie at 07:53 PM | Comments |

The Post Wherein I Confess That I Am, After All, A Racist

For you see, recently I've gotten into the long lost habit of having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. Usually on Sundays, because I'm more interested in the Packers game than eating.

Little did I know, this rebirth of an old standby lunch would make me a cross burning oppressor of minorities.

“What about Somali or Hispanic students, who might not eat sandwiches?” Gutierrez asked. “Another way would be to say: ‘Americans eat peanut butter and jelly, do you have anything like that?’ Let them tell you. Maybe they eat torta. Or pita.”

…The Tribune noted that the school started the new year with “intensive staff trainings, frequent staff meetings, classroom observations and other initiatives,” to help educators understand their own “white privilege,” in order to “change their teaching practices to boost minority students’ performance.”"Last Wednesday, the first day of the school year for staff, for example, the first item of business for teachers at Scott School was to have a Courageous Conversation — to examine a news article and discuss the ‘white privilege’ it conveys,” the Tribune added.

Last time I checked, we racist sewer dwellers ate tortas. And pitas. And tortillas and pretty much many other different types of foods from all of the races that have come to this country from all over the globe.

So chow down on that quesadilla. Nom on that gyro. Gorge on the fried rice. Hell, chomp on that fried grasshopper while you're at it.

But don't eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, you racist bastard.

By Vinnie at 06:57 PM | Comments |

November 14, 2013

Where's Rusty? Gone Clamming

Good job. For executing the oldest known animal.

It had already been confirmed as the oldest animal that ever lived. But scientists who accidentally killed Ming the Mollusc, a deep sea clam dredged from the North Atlantic, have now discovered it was 100 years older than previously thought. Following painstaking analysis, experts from Bangor University reckon the animal was born in 1499, making it 507 when it was found.

Science!

By Vinnie at 11:33 PM | Comments |

November 11, 2013

Veterans Day 2013 *sticky*

I did my Navy time, but I suck compared to this.

Known as the Doolittle Raiders, the 80 men who risked their lives on a World War II bombing mission on Japan after the attack on Pearl Harbor were toasted one last time by their surviving comrades and honored with a Veterans Day weekend of fanfare shared by thousands.

God bless them, and all that served.

By Vinnie at 11:56 PM | Comments |

October 16, 2013

Dear Government

You went full retard. Assholes. Except for Ted Cruz and that other guy. The rest, fuck you with a cactus.

By Vinnie at 11:06 PM | Comments |

October 12, 2013

EBT Card System Down. Women, Minorities, Ahnald Hardest Hit

Millions of poor people who just so happen to have smartphones, tablets, and computers hop on the internet to threaten riots and spread misinformation that the EBT outage is due to the shutdown.

Not sure if this is art imitating life, or life imitating art. At any rate, all I have to say is if you want to feed your family without having to worry about EBT outages, try this:

By Vinnie at 04:15 PM | Comments |

September 30, 2013

How Jawas View The Government Shutdown

No rent, and out the door we went.


By Vinnie at 11:30 PM | Comments |

September 04, 2013

Shana Tova!

Shana Tova to all our Jewish readers.

And although I'm not a Jew, I do play one on TV and in Greyrooster's mind.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 02:38 PM | Comments |

June 26, 2013

In Other News

While we're all distracted by the Supreme Court DOMA decision and Paula Deen news (yes, I'm guilty) let's not forget that Obummer is cutting our military strength.

I will still sleep well knowing that if they live in the right state, Rusty and Howie can get married and receive full federal benefits.

By Vinnie at 10:13 PM | Comments |

The Strange Case Of Paula Deen

In court testimony, she admitted to uttering a racial slur. 30 years ago. Now she's been fired by the Food Network and Wal Mart has severed ties with her, among others. What I can't understand is why? She's a faithful liberal Democrat who loves the Obamas.

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Virulent fake racist Paula Deen with real virulent racist Michelle Obama

So why are her fellow travelers throwing her under the bus? My own theory? She's a white southerner who has a southern accent and makes food that the left thinks is unhealthy.

I bet Paula Deen goes Republican next election. After all, a conservative is a liberal who's been mugged and sees the light.

By Vinnie at 10:03 PM | Comments |

June 04, 2013

Sooper Mexican: Surprise Scandalpalooza Special Prosecutor

Thus we bring you, Samuel L. Jackson… Special Prosecutor!!!:

Finally after weeks of stonewalling, the Obama administration has decided to name a special prosecutor to investigate all the 57 scandals involved in Scandalpalooza. When the first pop star president suggested they do something "hip" like allow the interwebz and twitter choose who it is, American Idol style, calamity struck!!!

Thus we bring you, Samuel L. Jackson... Special Investigator!!!

[uncensored version available if there's enough public clamor for it!]

Ha!

By Stable Hand at 08:18 AM | |

June 03, 2013

Progressive Twitter Twit The1AmberDawn Who Wanted To 'Take Out' Concealed Carry People In Chicago..
Vanished!

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All that's left of he/she/it is a Google cache

It's not nice to tell people you will take their concealed carry away and shove it up their ass and pull the trigger.

Heh

By Stable Hand at 10:50 AM | |

June 01, 2013

RIP Jean Stapleton

Another star in a show that couldn't be made today has passed at the age of 90.

By Vinnie at 06:01 PM | Comments |

May 29, 2013

I, Ikhwan (Muslim Brotherhood), Will Survive

Googlish: Ikhwan Survive -- Against the legitimate! # Liars song:

Well done.

Meanwhile: Obama Claims That Working With Muslim Brotherhood Will Bring Victory Over Terrorism

Well, they don't like negative press either: Egyptian editor fined for libeling Brotherhood's El-Erian

By Stable Hand at 01:22 PM | Comments |

May 28, 2013

People Sign "Thank You" Card to IRS for Targeting Conservatives

Bronco Bama's fan club.

By Stable Hand at 02:11 PM | Comments |

May 27, 2013

Remember

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"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

This post is sticky for Memorial Day. Scroll down for newer.

By Vinnie at 11:59 PM | Comments |

May 17, 2013

Video: Pali's History of Violence (aka Terrorism)

As an aside, let's not forget about a Los Angeles newspaper, the LA Times, refusal to release the tape of the Obama's honoring Rashid Khalidi, a Pali terrorist. Andrew Breitbart offered a award in 2012 of $1000,000 for the tape.. It has not been released.

Just thought I would throw that out there.

Related: If The Koch Bros Buy The LA Times Will We Finally See The Obama/Khalidi Tape?

Update: Oops, Howie already posted on this below but heh I added Bronco Bama so I deserve the fatwa, no?

Or, we both do or something.

By Stable Hand at 01:56 PM | Comments |

May 12, 2013

Another Non Monetary Bleg

Anyone know how to get rid of the amsecure (dot) exe virus on a Windows 8 machine? I've Googled it to death but most of what I've found looks like more malware.

My email is in the Contacts page linked ^^^ up there. Thanks in advance.

Problem solved. You may resume watching your midget porn.

By Vinnie at 09:52 PM | Comments |

May 10, 2013

We Knew It All Along

Tattooine exists!

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Nah, that's actually a solar eclipse pic from these folks.

By Vinnie at 06:20 PM | Comments |

Dear Al-Qaeda

Suck it.

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By Howie at 09:22 AM | Comments |