November 04, 2014

The Home Depot Esse Option

So, captain*arizona claimed in the comments on that post I wrote about not being able to vote this year that the only illegals voting are the ones Rethuglicans pay to vote illegally to show that illegals can vote. And then to make matters worse, those illegal alien voters are then prosecuted by those same Rethuglicans who paid them to vote.

Which is kind of funny given the recent that study showed quite the opposite: when asked, 6.4 percent of non-citizen immigrants admitted to illegally casting a ballot in an election.

None of whom, to the best of my knowledge, admitted to doing so at the behest of an evil Republican conspiracy to pay them to vote and then to prosecute them for illegally voting.

But it does give me an idea. Maybe the best solution to my inability to vote this year is the most obvious one: pay an illegal to vote in my place!

It's win-win if you think about it. They need money, I need to cast a ballot. They don't have money now and I can't cast a ballot now. So, I pay them and they have money and I have voted by proxy!

Sure, none of this is legal. But legality is so hard to define these days. Don't think of it as illegal voting, think of it as undocumented voting.

Isn't postmodernism awesome? You simply redefine the meaning of everything you have a problem with and the suddenly *poof* like magic, all problems go away!

So, I'm off to the Home Depot. And if the price is right why, heck, I might be able to vote more than once! Don't think of it as voter fraud. Think of it as voter entrepreneurship!

Oh, and how do you say undocumented voting work in Spanish?

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 11:29 AM | Comments |