June 25, 2014
Where's Rusty? Poop Bandit Policy Edition
He's working as a policy consultant at EPA drawing up a policy that both respects workers' rights and deals with the Poop Bandit issue.
In the email, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned “several incidents” in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and “an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.I'm like, you know, almost jealous that I'm not holding a degree in political science so I can work on the leading issues of the day.
Confounded by what to make of this occurrence, EPA management “consulted” with workplace violence “national expert” John Nicoletti, who said that hallway feces is in fact a health and safety risk. He added the behavior was “very dangerous” and the individuals responsible would “probably escalate” their actions.
“Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals,” Cantor wrote. He asked for any employees with knowledge of the poop bandit or bandits to notify their supervisor.
I'm going out on a limb here, I think we can exclude any registered Republicans from the Poop Bandit suspect list. I mean I could be wrong, except I'm not.
Hat Tip: Charles.