January 24, 2014
North Korea Lands Man On Sun
North Korea is hailing this as one of the greatest human achievements of all time:
North Korea has landed a man on the Sun. 17-year-old Hung Il Gong started his journey at 3am this morning, travelling alone, to reach our nearest star, a journey that took him just 4 hours.
A North Korean central news anchorman said during a live broadcast: "We are very delighted to announce a successful mission to put a man on the sun. North Korea has beaten every other country in the world to the sun. Hung Il Gong is a hero and deserves a hero's welcome when he returns home later this evening".
In case you are wondering how he managed to land on sun without burning to death - well, DUH! - he landed at night!