October 11, 2013

Pakistiani Muslims Pretty Sure the Jews Resurrected Malala Yousafzai Zombie and Now Control Her Every Movement

Because, you know, those pesky Jews can even teach Zombies to write books and they're certain Allah wanted her dead.

For many of her compatriots, Malala Yousafzai is a stooge of the United States and a CIA agent, a symbol of the West’s evils and a global conspiracy to bring down her native Pakistan.

She has won the European Union’s prestigious human rights award and was one of the favorites to win the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday, but in her native Swat valley, friends and neighbors reacted with a mixture of resentment, fear and jealousy.

“Malala is spoiling Pakistan’s name around the world,” said Mohammad Rizwan, a shop owner in her hometown of Mingora. “We didn’t need Malala to come and tell us how important education is.”

You know what's most embarrassing for Pakistani Muslims, the fact that they're too stupid to realize how embarrassing actually stating this aloud really is.

But then again maybe Pakistan's real goal is to be the stupidest people on the planet, I don't know.

Update: Iran, fearing it might lose the competition to Pakistan, decides Malala is a Polish Caucasian.

Um yeah.

Update: Iran PressTV takes down Malala is a Polish Caucasian article and its been scrubbed from the both Google and Yahoo cache, Pakistan wins!

By Howie at 09:27 AM | Comments |