August 05, 2013

Ed And Martha's Meta Data Instrumental in Early Detection of Generic Terrorist Attack Against Indian Embassy in Afghanistan

Unnamed Jawa sources have learned that Meta Data related to Ed and Martha's cellular phone helped the NSA detect and ultimately make informed guesses about which in a group of generic terrorist groups were behind a brazen attack in Kabul over the weekend.

The Taliban denied responsibility for the attack, and suspicion instead fell upon Pakistan-based terrorist groups that have been blamed for deadly violence against Indian interests in Afghanistan in the past.

Groups known for targeting Indian interests include Lashkar-e-Taiba, which was blamed for the 2008 attack on the Indian city of Mumbai that killed 166 people, and the Haqqani network which is based in Pakistan's lawless tribal areas along the border with Afghanistan.

After Ed and Martha's meta data indicated they were in the know, further investigation intercepted a call in which Ed was complaining about excessive bank charges saying quote, " I only want to pay for what I need."

Using sophisticated technology to isolate the background noise in the call the NSA was able to intercent an MSNBC feed playing in the background indicating there had been an attack in Kabul

Out of an abundance of caution, all US embassies and consulates will remain closed in list of Middle East nations that Ed and Martha were able to name under enhanced interrogation.

As for who was behind the attack in Kabul, it was probably Lashkar-e-Taiba, if you guys think so, maybe, I guess.

By Howie at 08:04 AM | Comments |