February 19, 2013

New Liberal Stategy When Facing Attacker: Vomit & Urinate On Yourself

My self defense arsenal is getting larger and larger, thanks to liberal recommendations!

I have a pair of scissors, a pen, a whistle, and I can always charge the shooter. But if all those things fail, I can always vomit or pee on myself:

The University of Colorado at Colorado Springs Department of Public Safety has updated an online statement advising female students to consider a variety of unusual actions if they are attacked, including vomiting, urinating and claiming that they are menstruating.

The advisory was updated Monday evening, just hours after the Colorado state House of Representatives passed a package of gun control bills that includes one that would make it illegal for people with concealed weapons permits to carry guns on the campuses of public universities.

Yeah, that will teach them to mess with me! Nobody will mess with a scissor/pen/whistle wielding woman covered with urine and vomit! If someone is crazy enough to try anyway, there's always my backup plan of blowing my nose on them or sh!tting my pants.

If piss and vomit discouraged rape, then a frat house party is the safest place in the world for a woman to be.

Seriously, libs are becoming parodies of themselves. It would be hilarious if it wasn't endangering my life and my rights.

By DMartyr at 03:05 PM | Comments |