March 30, 2018

The Best Friday

Its our tradition at Jawa Report to talk up Jesus on Good Friday.

Jesus of Nazereth: I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine. As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep. And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.

Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.

By Howie at 07:05 AM | Comments |

March 29, 2018

Zawahiri Launches Islamic Plot To Rule The World CCLXI From Abbotabad Pakistan

Not Abootabad you say? Prove to me he's not in Abbotabad.

As Sahab continues to release regular messages from Ayman al Zawahiri, posting two more discussions from the al Qaeda leader in recent days. In the latest message, disseminated online yesterday (Mar. 20), Zawahiri reminds viewers that his organization considers America to be the “first enemy” of Muslims around the globe.

Zawahiri begins his talk by claiming that President Trump is a “blatant crusader” who has “revealed the true face of America, and the true psychology of a majority of the American people toward Muslims.”

Zawahiri says “the goal of our jihad is the restoration of the rightly guided Caliphate” and all of the territory once controlled by Muslims from Jerusalem to Spain is still “ours.

Yeah right...... Anyway I'd heard they had good drugs in Pakistan, apparently its true.

By Howie at 08:57 PM | Comments |

March 28, 2018

Musa Abu Dawud Is Dead Jim

You know, some guy....

The Department of State has designated Musa Abu Dawud as a Specially Designated Global Terrorist (SDGT) under section 1(b) of Executive Order (E.O.) 13224, which imposes sanctions on foreign persons that have committed, or pose a serious risk of committing, acts of terrorism that threaten

Got droned.

Well that's one way to get off the OFAC list.

Lets Dance!

By Howie at 01:27 PM | Comments |

March 26, 2018

Sandcrawler BOLO:Brittanya Fairman Jeffery Lathrop (UPDATE: Found)

If you see them don't approach, dial 911.

We pray she is found safe.

Update: She has been found.

By Howie at 05:34 PM | Comments |

Iraqi Immigrants Beat Young Muslima For Refusing Arranged Marriage

Just in case you're not interested in the affairs of Presidents here is some news that probably won't be leading on CNN.

A 16-year-old Texas girl ran away from home in hopes of escaping being forced to marry an older man, San Antonio TV station KSAT reports.

The teenager’s parents, Abdulah Fahmi Al Hishmawi, 34, and Hamdiyah Sabah Al Hishmawi, 33, were reportedly set to receive $20,000 compensation for the arranged marriage. When their daughter Maarib refused, they allegedly began to choke the teen, beating her and pouring hot cooking oil on her. The teenager tried to escape the abuse by running away from home in January.

Bexar County Sheriff Javier Salazar says the mother and father were arrested Friday on family violence charges. “This young lady, at various times over that time period was subjected to some pretty bad abuse because she didn’t want to be married to this person,” Salazar said on Friday at a press conference. Maarib had been reported missing in late January and wasn’t found until mid-March. The sheriff said she had been safely in the care of another organization while she was missing.

By Howie at 09:17 AM | Comments |

March 23, 2018

Just A Car Loaded With Propane No Biggie

I hear there was a terrorist attack right here in the USA today this week. Damn, I'm so jaded.

Anyway some Splodeydope named Hafiz Kazi burned alive in his car at an Air Force base gate.

It was all cool.

Well, not for Hafiz but you know what I mean.

By Howie at 06:41 PM | Comments |

March 21, 2018

Austin Bomber(Mark Anthony Conditt) Bombs Himself

He's dead Jim!

The 24-year-old man who terrified residents of Austin, Texas, with a three-week bombing campaign that killed two people blew himself up on the side of a highway north of the city as police closed in on him early Wednesday, police officials said.

Police had tracked the suspect to a hotel near Austin, the state’s capital city, and were following his vehicle when he pulled to the side of the road and detonated a device, killing himself, Austin Police Chief Brian Manley told reporters near the scene.

“The suspect is deceased and has significant injuries from a blast that occurred from detonating a bomb inside his vehicle,” Manley told reporters. He said the suspect was white but declined to give his name.

Some problems end up solving themselves.

Lets dance!

Update: Dumbass has been identified as Mark Anthony Conditt.

Neighbors expressed shock that Conditt, who was homeschooled, was the bomber.

“I know this is a cliché but I just can’t imagine that,” one neighbor, whose children grew up playing with Conditt, told the Austin Statesman.

The local newspaper also reported that Conditt had received a degree from Austin Community College’s Northridge Campus. He had worked at Crux Semiconductor and as a computer repair technician.

Here is an old Blogspot blog he was running in 2012.

I've archived these in case Google throws them down the memory hole.


As you can see the first site on his blogroll is Andrew Sullivan, definitely not "conservative" but then you see Free Republic as well.

It appears this blog was written for a government class of some kind as he has a classmates blogroll as well. So he seems open to political arguments from the left and right. Possibly the first radical centrist ever?

I'm not sure, but there it is, read it yourself and draw your own conclusions.

Thanks to George.

By Howie at 07:11 AM | Comments |

March 20, 2018

Sandcrawler PSA: Rusty's Monkey Missing

Rusty emailed, he only emails when he really really needs something. Anyway have any of you seen his damned monkey?


By Howie at 12:54 PM | Comments |

Allah Hates The Taliban 100% Proof

I just love a story with a happy ending.

The Taliban’s first mistake was kidnapping 36-year-old Awal Khan last week in Paktika, Afghanistan. They had no idea what they were in for.

Khan — despite being handcuffed at the time, Masood told AFP — grabbed a weapon belonging to one of his captors and opened fire.

“Awal Khan sprayed bullets on all of them, killing seven and wounding 18 others,” provincial governor spokesman Mohammad Rahman Ayaz told the outlet Thursday.

Khan then fled in a pickup truck belonging to his kidnappers, Ayaz added to AFP.

By Howie at 09:25 AM | Comments |

Caption This: Hillary Spreads Edition (Update: Fatwas Issued!)

Yeah I know the title is bad.

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas Issued!

The I Will Cut UR Neck Fatwa issued against Paladin for

The Why U Insult Holly Koran? Fatwa issued against redc1c4 for
One if by stairs.

Two if by slipping in the bathtub.

The Devil Will Do Meetballs From Your Body Fatwa issued against Mike for
You know the nearer your destination the more you're slip sliding away!

By Howie at 08:07 AM | Comments |

Russia Just Following DNCs Lead

So as it turns out Russia wasn't the only one meddling with the 2016 election.

But Facebook didn't know, they totally pinky swear!

Update: Now I learn on the way home NPR says some Trump strategist or some guy who might have been maybe also used the same data? Which just goes to show you, they all do it. And when I say all I mean ALL.

Anyway I'm probably not supposed to say that, its been nice knowing ya'll.

By Howie at 07:23 AM | Comments |

March 14, 2018

This Isn't The Radical Muslim Slasher We're Looking For


News broke on March 13 that a Florida teen had been arrested, after stabbing to death his friend and attempting to kill his friend’s mother and another peer at a sleepover. The suspect confessed afterwards that he had recently converted to Islam and his beliefs motivated him to murder.

While the horrific violent act was covered by local news in Jupiter, Florida, and nationally March 14 by Fox News Channel, the big three networks have ignored the story thus far.

Florida’s The Palm Beach Post reported March 13 that “a Jupiter teen said his Muslim faith led him to fatally stab a boy on his 13th birthday and injure two others at a sleepover Sunday night.”

Maybe we need Koran Control? I mean not let anyone under 21 or stupid have Koran, lest they get silly ideas?

I'm just trying to help, its for the children and safety.

By Howie at 11:35 AM | Comments |

Mega Space Force!

Trump is going to create a MegaForce in space!

President Trump wants the US to have its own “Space Force” — which would be like the Army and the Navy, “but for space,” he says.

F*ck yeah!

By Howie at 07:44 AM | Comments |

Sandcrawler PSA: Entropy Still Acting on Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking has passed away.


But don't be sad, it will take an almost infinite amount of time before entropy returns Stephen Hawking to his lowest possible energy state. At which point he will still be forever embedded in the cosmic background radiation of a future universe billions and billions of years from now.

By Howie at 07:10 AM | Comments |

March 12, 2018

Tie Fighters! 100% Proof!

Pentagon declassifies encounter with an Imperial Tie Fighter.


Was this an actual Tie Fighter? Some internet analysts say, "Yes!"

By Howie at 08:25 AM | Comments |

March 08, 2018

Trump To Meet Kim Jong Un

Oh boy!

TOKYO — North Korea’s belligerent leader, Kim Jong Un, has asked President Trump for talks and Trump has agreed to meet him “by May,” South Korea’s national security adviser said at the White House Thursday after delivering the invitation to the American president.

Kim has also committed to stopping nuclear and missile testing, even during joint military drills in South Korea next month, Chung Eui-yong told reporters in Washington.

After a year in which North Korea fired inter-continental ballistic missiles capable of reaching all of the United States and tested what is widely thought to have been a hydrogen bomb, such a moratorium would be welcomed by the U.S. and the world.

Kim Jong Un “expressed his eagerness to meet President Trump as soon as possible,” Chung said. “President Trump said he would meet Kim Jong Un by May.” Chung did not provide any information on where the meeting would be. In Seoul, the presidential Blue House clarified that the meeting would occur by the end of May.

Holy Moly!

Wait a minute, I have to go get on my bell bottoms and find my beads.

By Howie at 07:27 PM | Comments |

March 07, 2018

Everyone Wave Buh Bye To Ali Muhammad Brown

He's going to be taking a very long leave of absence.

A man who said he was pursuing "jihad" pleaded guilty to murder and terrorism in New Jersey on Tuesday and surprised prosecutors by admitting in court that he also killed three people in Washington state in 2014.


The man, Ali Muhammad Brown, 34, formerly of Seattle, changed his mind and pleaded guilty to having killed Brendan Tevlin, 19, of West Orange, New Jersey, as jury selection was under way in Essex County Superior County, the county prosecutor's office said. Then, without prompting, he admitted to having killed three other men in Washington — two of whom he said he killed because he believed they were gay.

"In his statement to the court today Brown admitted that the killings were a part of what he described as a 'jihad,'" said the prosecutor's office. He faces a mandatory sentence of life in prison.

All suffering is for the sake of Allah!

Hat Tip: Famous Islamophobe.

By Howie at 08:47 AM | Comments |

Meanwhile at Pine View High School

A teenager has been arrested for placing a bomb and the ISIS flag at his school.

ST. GEORGE, Utah — UPDATE: Police said a homemade explosive device was the item discovered in a backpack at Pine View High School Monday, that forced the evacuation of the school. Police said if the device had detonated, it would have caused significant injury or death. Police have a suspect in custody.

A warrant served at the home of a male juvenile, found materials consistent with the materials used to build the device. Police also said the suspect had been researching information and expressing interest in ISIS and promoting the organization.

What do we want?

Homemade Islamic Weapons of Mass Destruction Control!

When do we want it?


By Howie at 08:36 AM | Comments |

March 01, 2018

Powder Terrorist Daniel Frisiello Arrested

Lets go with the NBC story because its more fun.

A Massachusetts man was charged Thursday with sending the threatening letter filled with white powder to Donald Trump Jr. that sent his wife to the hospital — along with four other bizarre letters mailed to a California prosecutor, a law professor, a senator and actor Antonio Sabato Jr.

Daniel Frisiello, 24, was arrested after what prosecutors called "a textbook federal investigation" that traced the unsigned letters to him after he also ordered a "glitter bomb" for one of the recipients, using his own name.


Anyway there's a lot of things on his Facebook.

Like stuff he likes, Samantha Bee and the North Shore young Democrats.


And he was at the Massachusetts State Democratic Convention.


Update: Daniel Frisiello is also, apparently, a big fan of Bear Wrastling.


My eyes! They burn!

By Howie at 12:29 PM | Comments |

Message A Terrorist: Keyes Edition

So it looks like Bernard is in trouble.

An American citizen from California who was radicalized by online propaganda traveled overseas to try to join a branch of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) in Libya, U.S. prosecutors said Tuesday. Bernard Augustine was jailed without bail on Tuesday during an initial court appearance in federal court in Brooklyn.


A few days before he left in 2016, Augustine texted an unidentified relative, "If I ever get lucky enough to live in the khilafah, I'll burn my own passport, lol," according to a criminal complaint. He made it as far as Tunisia but was detained by authorities there before he could carry out his plan, the complaint said.

Augustine, 21, is from the town of Keyes in California's Central Valley. His lawyer, Samuel Jacobson, declined comment.

Since he's being held without bail I'm not sure when he'll get a chance to read it but have a heart and message Bernard.

Also Bernard, Jihadology is not a site for terrorists its a site about terrorists, dumbass.

By Howie at 11:47 AM | Comments |

Muslima Pleads Guilty

With Safya Yassin the term Muslima applies many times, not only is she a radical Muslima basically her username was Radical Muslima.....

A Buffalo woman accused of sympathizing with the Islamic State pleaded guilty Wednesday to two federal charges.

Safya Yassin, 40, pleaded guilty to two counts of transmitting interstate threatening communication at a hearing in the federal courthouse in Springfield.

Federal investigators say Yassin used her Twitter account to provide information she believed was from the Islamic State — an Islamist militant group also known as ISIS — including threats and solicitations of violence against law enforcement or military personnel.

So depending on how she's sentenced she could get out pretty soon. Each count carries five years.

Previous: Everyone Wave Buh Bye To Muslima aka Safya Yassin

Also: Lets dance!

Hat Tip: Intel Girl.

By Howie at 09:06 AM | Comments |