December 30, 2017

Meanwhile in Tehran

Things look bad for Ali Khamenei.



By Howie at 08:27 AM | Comments |

Anon Swatter Jerkoff Unmasked

Um, see you in 20 to 30...


Numbskull just pissed away the prime of his life over a $1 bet on some internet Call of Duty dorkshit...

By Howie at 08:22 AM | Comments |

December 22, 2017

Jawa PSA: Closed for Baby Jesus Birthday

Merry Christmas Jawas!

Power Droids all around!

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We'll fix comments one of these days. Pixi has been notified but no telling when he'll get to it considering, you know, the importance of working on a comment server compared to drinking.

Update: Comments are back up: Drunk comments encouraged.

Update II

Update III: Its time to let old things die.

By Howie at 02:20 PM | Comments |

Up Side Down Side

On the down side, Jawa comments are down.

On the Upside. McLaughlin Group is back!


Starring Tom Rogan as Dr. John McLaughlin, Elanor Cleft as Elanor Cleft, Clarence Page as Thor and Patrick Buchanan as Supreme Chancellor.

Which means next year we'll know what's going to happen before it happens.

By Howie at 12:01 PM | Comments |

December 21, 2017

Sandcrawler PSA: Drug Use and Mental Health Issues Do NOT Preclude Jihad

There was a terrorist attack today in Melbourne, a Muslim from Afghanistan ran down a bunch of people with a car for Baby Jesus Birthday.

Of course the authorities are talking up the man's "issues" as a deflection of the obvious. As if he is not he exact type of person ISIS and al-Qaeda target with their terrorist propaganda.

After all its harder than you think to talk people into doing Jihad through a glossy .pdf on the internet. So people with "issies" Muslims who aren't exactly the best and brightest are probably more likely to act. They can be manipulated.

The other type is the intelligent idealist... So Jihadis run the gambit. Their personal issues do not explain away Jihad.

Anyway here is a video from the incident.


Update: Well for some reason that video of he arrest went down the memory hole.
I'm sure they have a good reason for hiding it though.
Not really.

Anyway, new copy for as long as it lasts.

Update: A second terrorist was filming the attack, obviously to send off to Islamic State for a terrorist video.


So what are they going to do now, claim both are on the dope?

By Howie at 08:52 AM | Comments |

December 20, 2017

Christmas Comes Early For David Wright

He got 28 years for conspiring with his nephew to murder Pamela Geller. After that fell through his Nephew Ussamah Rahim tried to stab some cops and got himself dead.

The plot to behead Geller, of New York, was never carried out. Instead, Wright’s uncle Ussamah Rahim told Wright on a recorded phone call that he decided to go after “those boys in blue,” referring to police. Wright told his uncle that was “beautiful” and encouraged him to delete all the data from his computer before carrying out his attack.

Hours later, Rahim was fatally shot by authorities after he lunged at them with a knife when they approached him in Boston.

Geller, who spoke at Wright’s sentencing, urged the judge to sentence him to life and said it was “impossible to overstate the devastation” he had brought to her life. Geller said she had been forced to live in fear and spend tens of thousands of dollars on security.


By Howie at 09:04 AM | Comments |

December 18, 2017

A Jawa Christmas Story Featuring Abu Hamza America and Baby Jesus

Once upon a time a nasty man named Abu Hamza was extradited to Federal Pound me in the Ass Prison.

Lawyers representing the hook-handed Hamza, who is currently serving a life sentence in a high-security prison, have said that he would return to a British jail "in a second" if he could.

He has complained that the "inhuman and degrading" conditions in the "supermax" prison in Florence, Colorado "breach his human rights". Hamza's lawyers have said he is “hopeful” about his appeal.


Jawa file image of Abu Hamza

Court documents submitted under his real name, Mostafa Kamel Mostafa, detail how his "cell-sized cage" is unsuitable for a double-amputee and that “the stumps in both arms are subject to regular outbreaks of infection, which have been increasing in severity.”

It's a lot harder to fend of prison rape with no hands, on one leg. It makes the one hour of recreation in a cage a lot less fun too, more like one hour of hop time. Hey, at least he gets hop time.

The End.

Thanks to Patrick and to Baby Jesus.

By Howie at 06:37 PM | Comments |

December 17, 2017

Where's Dr. Rusty Shackleford?

What kind of question is that.



If he strikes me down......

By Howie at 10:11 AM | Comments |

December 16, 2017

Sandcrawler PSA: Jewish Snowmen Are Takfir

Muslims believe we all worship the same God, right?


Anyway you heard the man, snowmen are Takfir, and people who do Takfir get the old choppity chop.

Got it?

By Howie at 08:08 AM | Comments |

December 15, 2017

A Jawa Intermission

Disco, it ain't dead....

Also If you're at the airport...

And you see a girl in a LOL shirt, run like hell.

By Howie at 09:10 AM | Comments |

December 14, 2017

Sandcrawler PSA: Alfredo Sauce is Bad Mkay

Can't stop laughing...

Maruna IV, 22, is charged with attempted unlawful sexual contact with a minor, disseminating matter harmful to juveniles, possessing criminal tools, and importuning.

At the time of his arrest, police say Maruna was carrying an iPhone, a MAC book, three zip drives, a bottle of Astroglide lubrication, Vaseline lotion, two bottles of Sprite, and chicken alfredo in a Tupperware container.

Maruna is currently being held in the Mahoning County jail.

Hat Tip: Sonny.

By Howie at 08:43 AM | Comments |

December 12, 2017

Caption Contest: Krispy Crotch Episode II Edition (Fatwas Issued!)

Caption this image of Akayed Ullah.

akayed-ullah1.jpg

Because making fun of terrorists is permitted.

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: Fatwas Issued!

I'm so excited!

Anyway the I Will Cut UR Neck Fatwa issued against Kalifornia Kafir for

From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...
Because....

The Why U Insult Holly Koran? Fatwa issued against Mike for

Chest and nuts roasting on a open fire..
The Devi Will Do Meetballs From UR Body Fatwa issued against Matt for
I blew the meatballs off my body!

By Howie at 10:56 AM | Comments |

Soon!


By Howie at 09:10 AM | Comments |

December 11, 2017

Fitna Strikes Amaq

Trolling for good...

Indeed a look at some of the popular channels frequented by ISIS suggests they are right: In one chat several ISIS members are seen bickering following Amaq’s hacking. “This channel is not official,” says one. Another replies, “How do you know it’s not official?” A third member interjects, “No, give your evidence.” Only for the first to respond, “You should be careful what you say to me.”

Ahmed points out that ISIS enforces stringent anti-discord rules on Telegram, as it does in the real world. Arguments, and the questioning of authority, will often see members banned.

“That discord, or fitna [the Quranic term used by ISIS] includes doubting any credible news outlet,” says Ahmed. He adds that, following Friday’s operation, “We made them break their own rules, we made them engage in debates regarding what was real, and what wasn’t.”

Nada concludes: “Journalists and analysts are not our target audience. Daesh supporters themselves, especially the Arabic speaking ones, are our target. Our main objective was to create confusion and discord, and we were able to do that. What Western analysts think is not really relevant to our work.

The force is strong with them.

By Howie at 08:59 AM | Comments |

Explosion Near Port Authority in NYC (Update: Splodeydope Expired)

Not sure what is going on, reports of an explosion, lots of police and fire.




If anyone has more information, please let us know in comments.

Update: It was a pipe bomb, the bomber blew himself up and injured another. The numbskull is in custody.


Move along. Move along.

Update: Splodeydope is dead Jim!


Update: Can't confirm that the bomber, Akayed Ullah, is dead. Bummer.

By Howie at 08:08 AM | Comments |

December 07, 2017

Fatwas Fatwas Everywhere!

And so it begins.

In the wake of President Trump’s announcement to recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, anti-Semitic tweets calling for the extermination of America’s strongest allies in the Middle East have been posted to the social media platform Twitter — with some posts addressed directly to the president at his personal Twitter account @realDonaldTrump. Tweets also included calls for "death to America."


Finally something I'm familiar with!


By Howie at 08:18 AM | Comments |

December 06, 2017

Sheikh Abdullah Ibrahim al-Faisal aka Trevor William Forrest Added to Specially Designated Terrorist List

Trevor William Forrest is awaiting extradition from Jamaica.

The US Treasury Department has sanctioned Abdullah Ibrahim al-Faisal (a.k.a. Trevor William Forrest), a well-known jihadist ideologue and Islamic State recruiter based in Jamaica. He has been added to the US government’s list of specially designated global terrorists. Faisal is “currently facing extradition proceedings,” as he has been indicted on terrorism-related charges in New York.

The Jamaican cleric (pictured above) has promulgated his extremist views online for years, influencing numerous terrorists in the process, according to Treasury.

Interestingly, the US government counts Abdul Razak Ali Artan, a Somali refugee who drove his car into a crowd of people at Ohio State University in Nov. 2016, as one of Faisal’s fans. The Islamic State quickly claimed Artan’s attack via its Amaq News Agency, saying he was a “soldier” of the so-called caliphate who “carried out the operation in response to calls to target nationals of the international coalition countries.” [See FDD’s Long War Journal report, Islamic State claims its ‘soldier’ carried out Ohio State attack.]

So as long time readers will know Trevor was the ideological leader of Revolution Muslim and the more radical elements of the Islamic Thinker's Society of NY.

His sermons radicalized domestic terrorists all over the world. Some of his followers include Zach Chesser who threatened to kill Southpark Creators. Carlos "the Juice" Almonte, Younes Abdullah Muhammad are just a few.

So 15 years late is better than never right? No, no its not. If radicals like Faisal had been addressed early some Muslims might have never become aligned with terrorists and their lives might not have been destroyed.

Faisal leads young impressionable Muslims to terrorism, they then reap the rewards of his hateful doctrine such as Federal Prison, while Faisal himself has sat in Jamaica getting off easy.

Its way way past time he got his.

By Howie at 12:08 PM | Comments |

Caption Contest: Signs Edition

Interpret the interpreter.

Fatwas will be issued.

Update: The Why U Insult Holly Koran Fatwa issued against Orlando for

Kinda' tough to understand her accent

By Howie at 09:19 AM | Comments |

Zionists R Zionist

I was reading this crap on CNN, you know, about how bad it could be if Trump recognizes that Jerusalem, or the city of Zion where Mt. Zion is located, is recognized as the Capital of Israel.

Why declaring Jerusalem as the capital of Israel is so controversial
You know Israel, Moses, King David and stuff.

CNN simply explains that "Palestinians" and Muslims throughout the Islamic world will be outraged because the Philistines, pardon me, Palestinians also claim Jerusalem as their capital, even though in ancient times the Philistines were from Gaza City.

But ignore all that crap. The point CNN is dancing around is the real reason Muslims will be outraged is Islamic Supremacy. Like White Supremacy but with the word Islamic, its the same same.

While the entire Islamic world may not be terrorists, BUT Muslims or Islam if you will is currently in control of what is popularly known as the Temple Mount or the Dome of the Rock, the Temple Mount is on what is known as Mt. Zion.

If you have looked into Islam at all it only recognizes Islamic conquest as legitimate, it also believes that all Islamic conquest and only Islamic conquest is legitimate and permanent. It also says that all other religions and non-Muslims are subservient to Islam and Muslims. On top of that Islam is not a very big fan of Jews in general, I mean if you actually look into it.

So Islam is Zionist, in the sense that keeping control of Jerusalem is critical to its world view, of Islam is the supreme way of life, as the one true religion. To keep us appearances it must control Mt. Zion, for its own sake.

Whereas Israel as we all know has a very long history and making its capital Jerusalem makes every bit of sense it flies in the face of the doctrine Islamic Supremacy.

Add to this the general hatred of Jews among the Muslim population and there you have the real reason that recognizing Jerusalem as Israel's capital will be met with violence and terrorism by the Islamic World.

That's the bottom line strait up. A person once asked me what the warning signs of Islamic Terrorists are. It doesn't really matter if a terrorist is Islamic or some other flavor. The common thread is Anti-Antisemitism and hatred of Jews and Israel. That's strait up. Whomever tells you different is feeding you a line of crap.

Update: Right on queue Hassan Rouhani Recep Tayyip Erdogan declare Jerusalem belongs to Islam.

Rouhani has warned the U.S. against relocating its Israel embassy from Tel Aviv to al-Quds (Jerusalem), saying the “illegal” move would further destabilize Palestine and the region.

Rouhani stressed during the speech that “Quds belongs to Islam, Muslims and the Palestinians, and there is no room for new adventurism by global arrogance.”

He also emphasized that Muslims, including Palestinians, should stand up against the conspiracy to declare Quds as the Israeli “capital,” saying Muslim states and the OIC have a great responsibility in that regard.

See no mention of East Jerusalem, no according to Turkey and Iran all of Jerusalem "belongs to Islam".

Its naked Islamic Supremacy that prevents peace with Israel, always has been, always will be.

By Howie at 09:01 AM | Comments |

December 05, 2017

Abundance of Caution Abundant

I just wanted to let you know that battle doodles are out.

obert Paul Alexander Edwards, 33, of Mexico Beach, was arrested Friday on charges of writing threats to kill or do bodily injury after a staffer at Port St. Joe Elementary School spotted on a student’s homework assignment the troubling drawing of a burning building and several people being shot, according to the Gulf County Sheriff’s Office.

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“The image included two people on the ground in what appeared to be a pool of blood,” Sheriff Mike Harrison said in a statement released Friday. “The words, ‘Pew, Pew, Pew,’ were written next to the person with the gun.”

Anyway don't do it. Also its helpful if your doodle doesn't depict a school shooting, people are kind of apprehensive about morons covered in tattoos shooting things up lately.

By Howie at 10:58 AM | Comments |

Sandcralwer PSA: Play Stupid Games

Win stupid prizes.

The FBI said Monday it arrested a man in Jacksonville, Florida who was allegedly planning a mass shooting at a mosque. Bernandino Bolatete has been charged with illegally receiving and possessing an unregistered silencer.

Law enforcement said they began investigating Bolatete last week after a concerned citizen reported to police that he had expressed hatred for Muslims and threatened to “shoot up” a mosque, according to a criminal complaint. Police said at a press conference Monday that Bolatete said five rifles, including at least one AR-15. On Facebook, Bolatete posted a fake article accusing Muslims of raping a woman and forcing her to recite the Quran.

Terrorism is wrong, period, acting like ISIS isn't winning the war of ideas, Its surrendering to barbarity.

Anyway some people have to learn the hard way, as in now you end up in Federal prison with the Islamic terrorists who I'm sure will be just so happy to show you their hospitality.

By Howie at 10:51 AM | Comments |

Sandcrawler PSA: STFU

No really.... Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.

we bunch of broken hooting apes — are prone to break them. Everybody lies. Humans lie more under pressure. FBI agents are trained in two dozen ways to ratchet up the pressure on you without getting out of their chair — verbal, nonverbal, tone, expression, pacing, subject changing, every trick that any cop ever used in the box. You're only human. Unprepared, you will likely lie. Smart people, dumb people, ditchdiggers and neurosurgeons, lawyers and accountants, the good and the bad, they all lie. Usually they lie about really stupid things that are easily disproved. I'm not making a normative judgment here; surely it would be nice if we didn't lie. I'm making a descriptive statement: humans lie. Saying "I'll just go in and tell the truth" is like saying "I'll just start being a good person." Well, good luck. Look, you admit to being fallible in other respects, right? You admit sometimes you're unkind when you're tired, or sometimes you drink or eat more than you know you should, or sometimes you procrastinate, or sometimes you have lust in your heart? What makes you think you're infallible about telling the truth?
I just executed PopeHat's #1 listing there. Captain Jackass told so many last time around he didn't even show up. Too bad, I feel for him, because he was so going to let me have it. Oooops! Looks like he underestimated my power!

By Howie at 08:14 AM | Comments |

December 04, 2017

Musical Interlude

Heh...


By Howie at 11:27 AM | Comments |

Meanwhile in Yemen

Former ruler Ali Abdullah Saleh has been assassinated.


Update: He's dead Jim!


His hands are still tied behind his back. If you think capture and murder of your political opponents is bad, you are an Islamophobe! Its just their culture.

By Howie at 08:22 AM | Comments |

December 02, 2017

Phhhht Phhhhht

Is this thing on?

Phhht. Phhht.

Fatwa?

By Howie at 10:22 AM | Comments |