December 31, 2015

Sandcrawler PSA: Happy New Year

The consensus here at Jawa Report is 2015 sucked.

Which in America means that 2016 must out suck 2015. You know, our relentless drive for progress.

By Howie at 11:51 PM | Comments |

George Lucas: Disney Butchered Force Awakens Storyline

It seems Disney is more concerned with the fans than the story the fans love.

I'm not sure how this works but I am sure that Real Han Solo would have slapped that kid first and drug him him home by the stinking unwashed hair on his hippie head!

I sold them to the white slavers that takes these things, and…,” he said in a recent interview with Charlie Rose, before deciding not to finish the sentence, USA Today reported.

Mr. Lucas, 71, also explained why he and Disney were split on their visions for the future of the franchise.

“They wanted to do a retro movie. I don’t like that. Every movie, I worked very hard to make them different,” he said. “I made them completely different — different planets, different spaceships to make it new.”

“They looked at the stories, and they said, ‘We want to make something for the fans,’” Mr. Lucas said. “They decided they didn’t want to use those stories, they decided they were going to do their own thing. …

By Howie at 12:05 PM | Comments |

December 30, 2015

Reader Love Mail: Crimes of Putin Edition

A reader loves my post on Russia bombing ISIS and generally everyone in Syria, save Assad.

You piece of shit, do you have any idea of Putin's crimes and human rights violations. Amazing.
Yeah I do actually, I've also seen Russians tortured and murdered by Islamist.

So therefore the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and so much as that entails sending Jihadis to Jahannam. Knock yourself out Mr. Putin.

I'll not only get a kick out of watching it, I'll buy the flippin calendar if it helps.

Lets see which one... dum da ta dee.. dum tee dah dum..(shopping)

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By Howie at 08:44 PM | Comments |

CAIR Heartbreak! Houston Mosque Fire Set by Muslim

CAIR was thinking this was a hate crime.


The Houston chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR-Houston) today called on local, state and federal law enforcement authorities to investigate a possible bias motive for a fire at a mosque in that city.

Firefighters responded to a two-alarm fire at the mosque in southwest Houston Friday afternoon. Officials are checking surveillance video and say the cause of the fire is "suspicious."

SEE: Firefighters Battling Two-Alarm Fire at SW Houston Mosque

"Because of the recent spike in hate incidents targeting mosques nationwide, we urge law enforcement authorities to investigate a possible bias motive for this fire," said CAIR-Houston Executive Director Mustafaa Carroll, who is talking with mosque officials and investigators at the scene of the fire.

Chron:
A Houston man has been arrested in connection with a suspected arson at a mosque on Christmas Day.

A spokeswoman for the federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives confirmed that the man was arrested early Wednesday, sometime after midnight, and appeared in court 7 a.m. Wednesday.

The suspect, Gary Nathaniel Moore, 37, of Houston, appeared in court at 7 a.m., spokeswoman Nicole Strong said.

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According to a charging instrument released by the Harris County District Clerk, Moore told investigators at the scene that he has attended the mosque for five years, coming five times per day to pray seven days per week.

Moore told investigators he had been at the mosque earlier on Dec. 25 to pray, and had left at about 2 p.m. to go home. Moore told investigators he was the last person to leave the mosque and saw no smoke or other signs of fire when he left. He had returned to the scene after hearing about the fire from a friend.

Shocking!
Though the suspect said he was a regular at the mosque, MJ Khan, president of the Islamic Society of Greater Houston, which operates the mosque, said he was unfamiliar with Moore. "We are just looking into it ourselves," he said Wednesday morning after learning of the arrest.
Wow Muslims sure seem confused about who attends mosque these days. The cleric acting as spokesman for the San Bernardino mosque where terrorist Syed Rizwan Farook worshipped claims he barely knew Farook and didn’t know his terrorist wife at all. But phone records and other evidence uncovered by federal investigators cast doubt on his story.

The FBI has questioned the cleric, Roshan Zamir Abbassi, about his phone communications with Farook — including a flurry of at least 38 messages over a two-week span in June, coinciding with the deadly Muslim terrorist attack on two military sites in Chattanooga, Tenn.Its almost as if anyone who believes in Islam is, you know, retarded?

Dawkins defended his position on Twitter and further explained his version of the event. The following is a synopsis of those Twitter posts provided by the U.K. Express:
He said: "I left when he said Muhammad rode a winged horse. A non-timewasting journalist needs at least SOME grasp of reality."
What?

You retardophobes don't believe in flying horses either? You're all sick, sick bigots I say!

By Howie at 01:37 PM | Comments |

Iranians Totally Behaving After Obama Deal We Swear!


By Howie at 10:14 AM | Comments |

Video Watch Chilean Fishermen Finish off Drowning Whale

Bless their hearts, They were only trying to help.

Story to tell the kids here.

Daily Mail:

After dragging it for some 5 kilometres, the whale was cut free from the rope and able to glide off into the water.
Yeah kids it just glided..... strait to the bottom.

By Howie at 09:59 AM | Comments |

December 29, 2015

Good Gun Control Dead End Edition

Schweet!

Trotwood Police were called to a home at the dead end of Atlas Road around 6:00 Monday morning.

he three suspects were caught on home surveillance outside the residence, before they kicked their way inside.

Police say two kids were asleep inside the home in the room where the invaders kicked their way in.

"Most of them woke up to the sound of them forcing entry into the home they kicked the back door," said Capt. Porter.

The suspects headed straight for the female who called 9-1-1.

"He hit me in the head with the gun 'cause I was in the laundry room," the caller stated.

The victim told Trotwood Police the suspects then demanded she lead them to "the money," and that she complied, leading them into a back room where a safe was located and two other kids were sleeping.

Trotwood Police said two of the suspects tried to steal a safe, while the third held the victim and two kids at gunpoint. They say the homeowner was able to get away and grab a gun she had hidden in the room, then started firing shots at the suspects.

"I got my gun and I started shooting and they ran!" the homeowner told dispatchers.

One suspect was killed by the gunfire, and was later found outside by Trotwood Police.

By Howie at 09:46 AM | Comments |

Extreme Right Wing Fundamentalists Ostracize Feminist For Breastfeeding in Public

Its a total case of boobaphobia!

A woman has been brutally murdered by ISIS's female police for breastfeeding her child in public, according to witness reports.


Jawa File image of some boobs

The woman had been breastfeeding her son under the cover of her burqa, in Raqqa, northern Syria when she was spotted by ISIS's feared women police force; the al-Khansaa Brigade.

Despite shielding herself and the child from public view under her full-veil burqa, the Al-Khansaa Brigade ruled she had been 'violating public decency'.

By Howie at 08:52 AM | Comments |

Naji Jerf Murdered in Turkey

Its not every day that someone you follow gets murdered by ISIS supporters in Turkey.

Naji Jerf, 38, was shot with a silenced pistol in downtown Gaziantep, near the Syrian border, Turkish media reported.

Mr Jerf was the film director for Raqqa is Being Slaughtered Silently (RBSS), a group of journalists who risk their lives daily to report on IS abuses.

It is the second murder of a member of the group in as many weeks, after Ahmad Mohammed al-Mousa was killed in Syria.

Mr Jerf was a vocal critic of the so-called Islamic State. He directed two recent documentaries about the group - one about the killing of Syrian activists in Aleppo, the other about the work of RBSS.

But I'm sure its a total coincidence that he was killed in turkey and there will be a full investigation.
The Committee to Protect Journalists condemned the murder of Mr Jerf. "Syrian journalists who have fled to Turkey for their safety are not safe at all," said Sherif Mansour, the CPJ's Middle East and North Africa programme co-ordinator.

"We call on Turkish authorities to bring the killers of Naji Jerf to justice swiftly and transparently, and to step up measures to protect all Syrian journalists on Turkish soil."

Turkish police say they have opened an investigation.

(Laughs nervously).

By Howie at 12:19 AM | Comments |

December 28, 2015

Awesome! Rahm Emanuel Defects to Cuba

Your vacation plans betray you.

Rahm Emanuel laid into POLITICO’s Mike Allen on Wednesday when Allen revealed the Chicago mayor’s plans to vacation in Cuba with his family over the holidays, angrily saying, "I really don't appreciate that."
Hey I can understand why you would want to keep your defection secret.

Word has it that Rahn just wants to raise his family in a place more safe, prosperous and with better slums than Chicago.

By Howie at 12:40 PM | Comments |

December 27, 2015

Attn: Twitter User(s) @_lioncaliphate @Khilafa8442

https://twitter.com/_lioncaliphate

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Did you know Jawas are all dentists?

LIONCALIPHATE2.png

Update: Add https://twitter.com/Khilafa8442 because I''m too lazy to write a new post.

By Howie at 10:16 AM | Comments |

December 26, 2015

Attn Twitter User Juba# @yusuf_BMW_6X

https://twitter.com/yusuf_BMW_6X

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Laters.

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By Howie at 12:46 PM | Comments |

December 25, 2015

Merry Christmas Jawas

Leave us alone! We're busy!

By Howie at 11:59 PM | Comments |

U.S. Air Force Band Flash Mob

Awesome job!

By DMartyr at 12:39 PM | Comments |

December 24, 2015

UK Muslim 'Family' Denied Trip To Disneyland

The media is reporting this story about the apparent discrimination of a Muslim family:

LONDON (AP) -- British Prime Minister David Cameron will look into claims that U.S. officials prevented a British Muslim family of 11 from flying to Disneyland for a planned holiday.

The issue is sensitive because U.S. Republican presidential contender Donald Trump has called for a temporary ban on Muslims visiting the U.S. due to concerns about extremist attacks.

Stella Creasy, a member of the opposition Labour Party, said Wednesday that U.S. officials gave no explanation for refusing to allow her constituents to board a flight from Gatwick Airport on Dec. 15, so she wrote Cameron seeking his intervention. She said there is "growing fear" among British Muslims that aspects of Trump's plans are coming into practice even though they have been widely condemned.

Sounds pretty bad, doesn't it? A family saves for a vacation to one of the biggest tourist attractions on Earth, only to be denied entry to the country because they are Muslims.

However, and ironically, one media outlet that traditionally leans far left reported some more details about the "family":

This lovely big British family aren't exactly conventional. They are two brothers – and 9 children… between 8 and 19 years old.

I'm sorry? Two brothers and nine children. All called Mahmood.

When was the last time two grown men, took nine 'kids' abroad on their own?

And since when was a 19 year old a child?

I was stopped on the way back the UK with my husband and three kids because we have the wrong surnames. And needed two marriage certificates and three birth certificates to make it through. [...]

Without any way of knowing the truth, this is what I'd have been asking myself; where were the mothers of these 9 children? Was it just that the women's place was in the home? Were they too female to fly? Or were they not needed for this family's final destination? [...]

And if it wasn't enough that two Muslim men from an extremist area of England, plus their nine children were flying together without any women, to set off alarm bells there's the fact that they have confirmed links with Al Qaeda.

Yup. Intelligence was received about a Facebook page connected to the family address, containing extremist material sympathising with Al Qaeda.

And if I tell you Tariq's brother was also detained in Tel Aviv for 8 days before being ejected from the country (again 'inexplicably' - according to his wife) would you still be comfortable getting on board with them?

The devil is in the details. But since those details don't fit the leftist agenda, they rarely see the light of day.

Another Daily Mail article mentions the age of a second "child" as being 18-years-old. In that article, one of the brothers dismisses the Facebook links to al Qaeda as being the work of hackers.

Yeah, right.

By DMartyr at 03:18 PM | Comments |

Merry F&*#ing Christmas

Video below the fold because it autoplays.

By DMartyr at 02:50 PM | Comments |

Merry Christmas ISIS From Russian Santa

Mr. Putin, so thoughtful.

We would also like to thank Mr. Putin for doing a solid this Christmas, because we can't depend on you know who to do his job.


By Howie at 10:29 AM | Comments |

Christmas Heartbreak! Yassin Salhi Hangs Himself in His Prison Cell

Yassin beheaded the infidel who took him in and gave him a job. But he gave the French taxpayer an early Christmas be offing himself and going strait to hell.

How thoughtful of him. Who says the spirit of Christmas is dead?

By Howie at 09:55 AM | Comments |

Mostly Peaceful Palestinian Muslims Early Baby Jesus' Birthday Celebration


By Howie at 08:51 AM | Comments |

Attn: Twitter User @backcyber aka CyberCaliphate

https://twitter.com/backcyber

notforlong.png

Merry Christmas!

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Baby Jesus wins again!


By Howie at 08:03 AM | Comments |

December 23, 2015

Muslim Homos Denied Visit to See Tinkerbell

You may have heard that a Muslim family was denied entry to the US to go see Tinkerbell.

Nothing to see here ladies and gents, nothing to see.

Just a family of eleven, off to Disneyland. A lovely big British family, off to the place where magic happens and Mickey Mouse makes dreams comes true.

This lovely big British family aren’t exactly conventional. They are two brothers – and 9 children… between 8 and 19 years old.

I’m sorry? Two brothers and nine children. All called Mahmood.

mickyphobe.jpg
Brothers? Yeah we get "brothers" wink wink, nod nod.
’m sorry? Two brothers and nine children.

All called Mahmood.

...And if it wasn’t enough that two Muslim men from an extremist area of England, plus their nine children were flying together without any women, to set off alarm bells there’s the fact that they have confirmed links with Al Qaeda.
Yup. Intelligence was received about a Facebook page connected to the family address, containing extremist material sympathising with Al Qaeda.

And if I tell you Tariq’s brother was also detained in Tel Aviv for 8 days before being ejected from the country (again ‘inexplicably’ - according to his wife) would you still be comfortable getting on board with them?

So I have a few things to level at Mohammad Tariq Mahmood.

Mo. I put it to you that you and your lovely British family were not off to Disneyland at all. I am not buying your story.

I find it utterly improbable two men with the entire Mahmood clan were travelling without the company of a wife or mother to such a family-orientated destination.
I have worked in Disneyland as a Security Guard. You don’t sound like our typical visitor group.

I can't believe these homophobes, I mean if these "brothers" want to fly in and see Tinkerbell, I say we're a tolerant society, we accept all Muslim Homos as full human beings.

Let them in, what could possibly go wrong?

By Howie at 04:49 PM | Comments |

Moderate Muslim Nation Bans Christmas

Brunei, not considered a radical terrorist hotbed by any means bans Baby Jesus for threatening the faith of Muslims.

The super-rich ruler of Brunei has told residents of his country that if they plan on celebrating Christmas, they could face up to five years in jail.

In fear the the religious holiday will affect the faith of its country, the tiny oil-rich nation’s Sultan, Hassanal Bolkiah, has banned the public celebration of Christmas.

Any Muslims caught celebrating Christmas, and non-Muslims who are discovered organising celebrations, could face the lengthy prison sentence.

... Around 20 per cent of Brunei's residents are non-Muslim, including substantial Buddhist and Christian communities.

'These enforcement measures are…intended to control the act of celebrating Christmas excessively and openly, which could damage the aqidah (beliefs) of the Muslim community,' said the Ministry of Religious Affairs in a statement.
The small Borneo nation prohibits propagating religion other than Islam to a Muslim, and breaking this is a violation of the penal code.

Other banned activities include putting up Christmas trees, singing religious songs and sending Christmas greetings, reported the Borneo Bulletin.

See they are down with Closet Baby Jesus, the moderate part is they don't chop off your head, they only imprison you for five years.

If you read further in the article, Brunei is in the middle of a process not of moderation but of imposing more strict and conservative religious law.

The nation embraced a harsh new penal code in April 2014, led by 68-year-old Bolkiah.

At the time, he said: 'Today I place my faith in and am grateful to Allah the almighty to announce that tomorrow,Thursday, May 1 2014, will see the enforcement of Sharia law phase one, to be followed by the other phases.'
The change means people can face conviction by Islamic courts and fines or jail terms for a range of offences such as pregnancy outside marriage, failure to perform Friday prayers and propagating other religions.

A second phase of the law comes into effect in May this year covering theft and alcohol consumption by Muslims, which would be punishable by whipping and amputation.

The death penalty, including death by stoning, will be introduced in the final phase a year later for offences such as adultery, sodomy and insulting the Koran or the Prophet Muhammad.

By Howie at 09:50 AM | Comments |

Where's Dr. Rusty Shackleford? Last Minute Shoppers Edition

He's out trying to catch those last few stragglers, but he got schlonged.

Saudi authorities have closed down a shop selling traditional camel urine drinks after discovering the owner had been filling the bottles with his own bodily waste.

Health inspectors swooped on a vendor in the port city of Al Qunfudhah, in south-western Saudi Arabia, and confiscated more than 70 full bottles.

Buyer beware!

By Howie at 09:20 AM | Comments |

She Doesn't Dance?

Oh yes she does!


By Howie at 09:03 AM | Comments |

Sandcrawler PSA With Bonus Caption Contest: Media Bleeps Schlonged?

As I'm sure you've all heard by now Donald Trump is in trouble for saying that Hillary got boned out of the nomination in 2006.

she was favored to win -- and she got schlonged, she lost, I mean she lost," Trump said, using a vulgar Yiddish word for a man's penis
First let me point out that in this case Mr. Trump used a verbal form Schlonged, which like boned is a euphemism for sex.

Anyway last night the networks were quoting Trump but bleeping schlonged, which was I thought the whole point of saying schlonged rather than saying, you know, the F word. In fact I've never hears schlong bleeped before?

I mean what an obvious betrayal of the media's loyalties to Hillary, slipping it to Trump by adding a bleep to schlonged to make it feel more dirty.

And I seriously doubt what anyone would be offended if the shoe were on the other foot and someone says Trump got screwed out of the Republican nomination. Which at this point absolutely all his opponents, save Cruz, are tryint to do. He's being custerschlonged! (Dibs on clusterschlonged its mine!)

Anyway on to the caption contest, replace the word schlonged in Mr. Trump's quote to use a more acceptable euphemism for taking it up the you know.

Rules: Bonus for Yiddish, Cause we're Zionists and I've already taken, boned, slipped it to, and clusterschlonged.

Fatwas will be issued.

By Howie at 08:17 AM | Comments |

December 22, 2015

NJ Muslims Did Celebrate 9/11

The only question is the actual number, of Muslims, openly celebrating the destruction of the World Trade Center.

"Some men were dancing, some held kids on their shoulders," said Gallagher, then a sergeant. "The women were shouting in Arabic and keening in the high-pitched wail of Arabic fashion. They were told to go back to their apartments since a crowd of non-Muslims was gathering on the sidewalk below and we feared for their safety."
So the main focus here was in keeping the Muslims who were celebrating safe from any Americans who might take revenge. I'm not sure I can even comprehend how TFU that is.

Was it thousands? We can't be sure of that thousands thing, unless you're talking about those who died, 2,977, that we know.

By Howie at 03:57 PM | Comments |

Sandcrawler PSA: Islamic State is Very Islamic

You could say that IS Honor Islam-o-Schlonged Syria and Iraq right up the Keister, but that would be inappropriate.

The reality is that the Islamic State is Islamic. Very Islamic. Yes, it has attracted psychopaths and adventure seekers, drawn largely from the disaffected populations of the Middle East and Europe. But the religion preached by its most ardent followers derives from coherent and even learned interpretations of Islam.

By Howie at 02:19 PM | Comments |

Sandcrawler PSA: Hirjah and You

An explanation of the Arabic/Islamic Term Hirjah from Creeping Sharia:

Seen from an Islamic perspective, the current turmoil in Europe is not a “migrant crisis” – it is Hijrah
“And whoever emigrates for the cause of Allah will find on the earth many [alternative] locations and abundance. And whoever leaves his home as an emigrant to Allah and His Messenger and then death overtakes him – his reward has already become incumbent upon Allah . And Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.” (Quran, 4:100).
I mean its almost as if you Islamophobic bigots don't want to be conquered?

Anyway, conquered, its a French term they borrowed from their rulers Undocumented Roman immigrants. Um, Shocking?

By Howie at 01:55 PM | Comments |

Video: Rocket Lands On Earth

We finally landed a probe on our home planet, I hope we find something good.

Nahhhh...

By Howie at 10:27 AM | Comments |

Meanwhile in Sirte

How's Hillary's Let's Depose Muammar Gaddafi policy going.

What is that thing that Jeb says? Um, something about you broke it.

By Howie at 08:50 AM | Comments |

December 18, 2015

Sandcrawler PSA: Everything is Cancelled We Swear!

We're pretty sure all work and school are cancelled today....

Didn't you get the memo?

Update: Nooooooo!

By Howie at 09:41 AM | Comments |

Boots on the Ground

There are boots on the ground, evil boots on the ground.

ISIS selektiert Mädchen zur Vergewaltigung

Dieses Video wurde aus dem Daish/ISIS-Gebiet geschmuggelt. Es zeigt die Selektion von Eziden. Frauen und kleine Mädchen werden zur Versklavung (und somit systematischen Vergewaltigung) von den Männern getrennt. Die Männer werden meist kurz danach ermordet.

Posted by Tobias Huch on Thursday, December 17, 2015

Where are the boots for good? Jesus wept.

By Howie at 08:44 AM | Comments |

December 17, 2015

Anjem Choudary Really Needs £15,000

I mean surely he don't have that much scratch being an unemployed welfare case?

Mr Choudary, 48, had spent the last two weeks in custody after breaching his bail by meeting a person he was "precluded from contacting".

At the Old Bailey on Friday, he was granted bail on the same conditions.
Mr Choudary, from Ilford, east London, pleaded not guilty to charges of encouraging support for IS.

He will remain in custody until a £15,000 surety is provided to the court.

By Howie at 02:20 PM | Comments |

December 15, 2015

Debate Fevah II

Live stream at CNN, its free for Jawas, well its free for everybody, but that includes Jawas.

The pre-debate debate..... Lindsey Graham raising heck...




By Howie at 07:28 PM | Comments |

December 14, 2015

All That Matters!

World premier!

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By Howie at 07:11 PM | Comments |

December 11, 2015

Death Star Incident Caused by Unstable Disgruntled Redneck From Outer Rim

All this talk of a rebel attack and terrorism smacks of bigotry and Jawaphobia.

Once Luke escapes and regroups with a terror sleeper cell, he joins them on an attack mission. As he nears his target, hearing Obi-Wan’s words in his mind, Luke closes his eyes, says a prayer and bombs a space station, killing everyone aboard. Young Skywalker has proven himself a quick study in the ways of armed religious extremism.

As the Empire Strikes Back begins, Obi-Wan appears to Luke as an apparition and gives him clear instructions on continuing his radicalization. Luke is ordered to travel overseas to receive training and religious instruction from Yoda, an extremist cleric who runs a Jedi madrasa on Dagobah.

But Jawa sources have disclosed that Skywalker was distraught over not being allowed to JOIN the Imperial Academy, not the so called Rebel Alliance.

As for the influence of Kenobi and Jedi Terrorism, sources close to Skywalker have told Jawa Report, It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense. That old man was crazy.

Hat Tip: Reason.

By Howie at 08:36 PM | Comments |

December 10, 2015

Ebou Bah Gives Sid Jackson a Run For His Money

Ebou wants to outdo Sid?

That's impossible!

BTW, where is Sid? Sid has been absent.

Update: Could this be Sid?

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Um yeah, that's him alright.

By Howie at 07:21 PM | Comments |

Sandcrawler PSA: Save Slave Leia!

Because what good is a sex slave that's not, um sexy.

Fisher is in much demand these days as she is making a return in the new, eagerly awaited "Star Wars" film, "The Force Awakens."

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The actress told the Los Angeles Times that perhaps the father who complained should tell his daughter that her character "is wearing that outfit not because she's chosen to wear it. She's been forced to wear it."


"She's a prisoner of a giant testicle who has a lot of saliva going on and she does not want to wear that thing and it's ultimately that chain, which you're now indicating is some sort of accessory to S&M, that is used to kill the giant saliva testicle," Fisher said. "That's asinine."

What a dick, how about you get your daughter once of these slave outfits.

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These girls don't want to wear them either, and you can still retain your aversion to female hetronormative behavior.

For the rest of us hetromormative red blooded Americans we present Slave Leia, a force for good.

What was it you wanted again?


By Howie at 12:52 PM | Comments |

Imperial Good News: More Dead ISIS Leaders

If you must know why ISIS lashes out at the west, because they must. Time is short.

Islamic State finance chief and other leaders killed in strikes by US-led coalition, US military says.

By Howie at 12:40 PM | Comments |

Awesome! North Korea Has Fusion Bombs!

The North did well it only had to starve a few hundred thousand to pay for the upgrade.

tate media indicated Thursday that North Korea has added the hydrogen bomb to its arsenal, a development that, if true, would represent an upgrade to its nuclear weapons capabilities.

By Howie at 11:40 AM | Comments |

Sandcrawler PSA: Watch Your Six

What us worry about all that terrorist chatter and stuff? Nahh!

By Howie at 10:25 AM | Comments |

December 09, 2015

Attn: Twitter User @AbuSafiyya3 Abu Safiyya as Swedi

I like the internet because it gives me the ability to *meet and interact with diverse and interesting people world wide.

https://twitter.com/AbuSafiyya3

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People like...

Norway’s Police Security Service (PST) launched an investigation Tuesday into Bastián Vásquez, a Norwegian of Chilean descent featured in an English-language video released by a jihadist group at the center of bloody conflict in the Middle East.

Vásquez — also known as Abu Safiyya — is the protagonist in a 15 minute video released by the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) on the website Liveleaks on Sunday. In English, Vásquez explains that ISIS had captured a checkpoint on the border between Iraq and Syria following a battle in which he claims several border patrol soldiers were killed. The video shows a room containing more than a dozen captive soldiers, and ends with a shot of a police station being razed to the ground by explosives.

Dear Bastian, enjoyed our interaction!

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Update: Related:

OPENHAGEN, Denmark (AP) -- A Norwegian court has jailed an Islamic radical in custody for four weeks for threatening a witness to change his testimony in a case involving recruiting people to fight in Syria.

Prosecutor Per Niklas Hafsmoe says Arslan Maroof, known as Ubaydullah Hussain, was apprehended on Tuesday after "an incident" last weekend.

Thanks to Dan.

* fuck with.

By Howie at 10:07 PM | Comments |

ISIS To Putin, Please Nuke Us!

Today Putin pointed out that these cruise missiles he is using against Islamic State can be armed with nuclear warheads.

Vladimir Putin has said he hopes nuclear warheads will not be needed to deal with terrorists, after Russia launched cruise missiles from its submarine at Syria.

During a meeting in the Kremlin, Russia’s Defence Minister Sergei Shoigu told the President that Kalibr cruise missiles had been fired by the submerged Rostov-on-Don submarine from the Mediterranean Sea for the first time.

He said TU-22 bombers also took part in the latest raids and that "significant damage" had been done to a munitions depot, a factory manufacturing mortar rounds and oil facilities. Two major targets in Raqqa, the defacto capital of Isis, had been hit, said Mr Shoigu.

President Putin said the new cruise missiles could also be equipped with nuclear warheads - but that he hoped they would never need them.

ISIS then promptly released a video of them murdering five Russians.
The Islamic State has executed five Russian nationals after accusing them of spying within ISIS controlled territory.
This is in addition to the beheading of a Russian citizen last week by a man now dubbed “the Chechen Jihadi John.”

“Yes, this Russian citizen was a Chechen,” Ramzan Kadyrov, leader of Chechenya told reporters on December 3. “He was beheaded.”

A Russian security source said, “The victim is unlikely to have had any relation to our special services.”

Dear President Putin, please if you nuke Raqqa use a fusion warhead.

By Howie at 06:05 PM | Comments |

Finally, a NY Times Infographic that is Meaningful

I like how the NY Times felt they needed to add an propaganda graph infographic in the middle of this article about how the San Bernardino terrorists had been talking about attacking for several years, yet no one thought to turn them in, just to reassure the public that Muslims are no more likely to commit acts of terror than anyone else.

See, look, Muslims have committed less than half the terrorist murders in the US since 9/11! See? No problem!

So I decided to add just a bit of context to the infographic to put those numbers -- meant to reassure us that Muslims are no more likely to be terrorists than, say, a Presbyterian -- in perspective.

Extremists-vs-islamist-deaths-us-nytimes.JPG

What, me worry?

H/T: Space of AIDS

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 05:42 PM | Comments |

Trump's Exclusion of New Immigrants Not Only American But Legal.

https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/8/1182#

(f) Suspension of entry or imposition of restrictions by President
Whenever the President finds that the entry of any aliens or of any class of aliens into the United States would be detrimental to the interests of the United States, he may by proclamation, and for such period as he shall deem necessary, suspend the entry of all aliens or any class of aliens as immigrants or nonimmigrants, or impose on the entry of aliens any restrictions he may deem to be appropriate. Whenever the Attorney General finds that a commercial airline has failed to comply with regulations of the Attorney General relating to requirements of airlines for the detection of fraudulent documents used by passengers traveling to the United States (including the training of personnel in such detection), the Attorney General may suspend the entry of some or all aliens transported to the United States by such airline.
So it turns out that everyone except Trump is wrong? LOL!

Thanks to Kafiroon.

By Howie at 12:31 PM | Comments |

December 08, 2015

A Note on Islamic State's Groundbreaking Creativity

I mean just think of the kinds of minds that sit around thinking, We'll hang him upside down and then blow his head off and film the blood pooling, brains spilling.

It will be so Allahu Ackbar!

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But Donald Trump's speech is hateful? Hmm OK, maybe. But if what you hate is pure evil, then what is that called again, um was it what we used to call good? And just what justifies good to stamp out out evil anyway?

I dunno, just asking questions.

Update: Owned!

https://twitter.com/arteboon81

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By Howie at 05:14 PM | Comments |

Attn: Twitter User @ITtkcve

https://twitter.com/ITtkcve

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Buh bye!

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By Howie at 03:44 PM | Comments |

December 07, 2015

New Clinton Ad 25% Good Gay

Hillary 2016 has released a new add talking about how good she is for Gay people.

But Jawa Report still only gives her a 25% Good Gay rating.

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Obviously.

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Of course.

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Bonus points for Jawas who can explain why #4 is still Bad Gay.

By Howie at 07:25 PM | Comments |

Attn: Twitter User @skx81

https://twitter.com/skx81


You lose.


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By Howie at 06:20 PM | Comments |

Sandcrawler PSA: Traditional Holiday Jawa Recipe (Week 1 Update)

I know there has been a lot going on in the world and I've not been blogging. I had to make time for traditional Jawa holiday activities as well as recover.

Anyway if you would like to participate in commemorating that wonderful period of American history known as Prohibition here's what you'll need.

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A couple of five gallon water jugs, clean but no soap, I find a car wash wand on rinse works well. Soap interferes with things so no soap just clean water. It also helps if your jugs are left to you by say your late grandfather or something. Its a tradition man.

So you need a cool, dry place say a bit cooler than inside 55 to 65 average anyway. 70 is a bit warm for my taste but that's as high as I'd go.

A couple of corks with with holes for your tube or bloopers. You can get these blooper thingys at any good liquor supply or craft brewery or off the internet for $1.49.

OK so left side, I made a screw up, one of my 3 quart bottles was not white grape, it was white grape and cherry. So we'll see if that turns out to be a happy mistake. The right side is the old standard Concord Grape.

Here we go, Take four pounds of pure cane sugar and some distilled water and combine in large pan, heat till the sugar is dissolved, in the mean time warm 1/3 cup of water to tepid and throw in a pinch of sugar and your plain old Fleischmann's yeast in there, stir a bit, cover, set asside.

Using a new clean funnel, not the one for your car man, add 3 quarts of white grape and cherry juice to your first jug there. Now 9 quarts of white grape. I just use Welch's but whatever, it will work even from concentrate just be sure to use distilled water. For each batch I figure 3 gallons of Juice and two gallon of water but you'll have some water left because the sugar takes up space.

Then add the sugar water and top off with distilled water. Leave a little air at the top so that if things foam up on you it doesn't make a big ass mess. (Have an old towel handy that you can use just in case if foams up on you and makes a big old mess).

No go back and get your corks and blooper thingys, soak the corks a bit and put your thingys in them, add water so that air can only escape out the corks but not get back in, alternately you can use a tube into a glass of water if you don't have the blooper thingys. Air back in is bad as it will make vinegar as the wine oxidizes,.

If'n you cork this stuff with no way for the carbon dioxide the yeast makes to get out, it will explode and make a huge mess.

Now pour your yeast mixture in there..... Put your corks with your bloopers on there, make sure there ain't no leaks.

Along about 8 weeks from now we should be ready to bottle this stuff. Ya'll can come over and we'll try it out, or just make some *yourself. We'll check on it every now and then, but don't drink it or disturb it before then, don't move it around.

So anyway, later Jawas.

Update :12/07/15 Our little concoction has been brewing a week, its settled down and is bubbling along at about once per second, maybe a little faster.

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As you can see the white grape and cherry has turned a light color, the concord has stayed almost dark this time but if it gets reddish don't worry its just bubbles making it a lighter color, that will go away when it settles later.

Sometime next year we'll all be drunk as....... well drunk as Jawas of course!

* = over 21 and at your own risk, remember booze makes you stupid and when you're stupid you do stupid things.

By Howie at 06:04 PM | Comments |

Media Matters Offended By Pussy

When it refers to Obama.


I can see Oliver now sprinkling powdered sugar and cocaine on a doughnut, totally outraged. Its funny.

By Howie at 05:40 PM | Comments |

Remembering Pearl Harbor

Remembering a time when America had the fortitude to confront our enemies, instead of coddling our enemies.

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If the Pearl Harbor attack had happened today, we would have a President refusing to label it an act of war, an Attorney General threatening to prosecute anyone who criticizes the Japanese, leftists who blame Americans, and a media that refuses to find any fault with the attackers but rather would ridicule a President for including the phrase "so help us God" in a declaration of war.

By DMartyr at 11:22 AM | Comments |

December 06, 2015

Celebrate!

Jawas are celebrating Hanukkah.

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When do we eat? Rslutty is starving! Well maybe not starving....

By Howie at 01:28 PM | Comments |

Compare and Contrast

Syed Farook's bombs.

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Images of bombs from AQAP's Inspire 14 magazine.

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Uncanny isn't it?

By Howie at 12:39 PM | Comments |

Totally 100% Shocking News! Father of San Bernardino Terrorist Supports Destruction of Israel

He thinks they are going to create a new diaspora shipping all the Jews to Ukraine.

Syed Farook provided an interview to the Italian newspaper La Stampa, where he said:
My son said that he shared [IS leader Abu Bakr] Al Baghdadi’s ideology and supported the creation of the Islamic State. He was also obsessed with Israel.

I told him he had to stay calm and be patient because in two years Israel will not exist anymore. Geopolitics is changing: Russia, China and America don’t want Jews there any more. They are going to bring the Jews back to Ukraine. What is the point of fighting? We have already done it and we lost. Israel is not to be fought with weapons, but with politics. But he did not listen to me, he was obsessed.”

See ya'll he's a moderate and well adjusted Muslim limiting his Jew hatred to the political sphere.

Um, yeah, BTW Carlos(above) is still in Federal Prison. He only has 209 months to go.

Update: Mommy too!

Rafia Farook, the mother of San Bernardino terrorist Syed Rizwan Farook, is an active member of the Islamic Circle of North America (ICNA), a Muslim organization that promotes the establishment of a caliphate and has ties to a radical Pakistani political group called Jamaat-e-Islami.

Farook’s affiliation with ICNA was revealed on Friday when MSNBC and other new outlets scoured the Farooks’ apartment in Redlands, Cal. An MSNBC reporter found a certificate of appreciation presented to Safia Farook last summer by ICNA’s sisters’ wing.

By Howie at 12:22 PM | Comments |

December 05, 2015

London: Yet Another Totally Random Muslim Attacks Random Infidels For Unknown Reason

CNN:

A man stabbed three people at an east London tube station Saturday before police subdued him with a stun gun and made an arrest, London's Metropolitan Police said.

Police said they were treating the stabbing at Leytonstone station as a terrorist incident.

One man sustained serious injuries not considered to be life-threatening, police said. Two others suffered minor injuries.

The incident happened just after 7 p.m., police said. The suspect was taken to a London police station.

Commander Richard Walton, who leads the Met's Counter Terrorism Command, said: "We are treating this as a terrorist incident."

I for one am totally shocked and taken by surprise.

After all Religion of Something Something.


That's a lot of blood for a non life threatening injury? I'm hoping the hospital is across the street, just saying.

By Howie at 07:21 PM | Comments |

Feds Search Home of Enrique Marquez Jr. Not Seen Since Wednesday

Enrique's stepdad says he's not been seen since Wednesday, he is known to have been the buyer of the two rifles used in the San Berardino terrorist attack.

I agents on Saturday raided a Riverside home belonging to a friend of San Bernardino shooter Syed Rizwan Farook as they try to determine whether the man purchased two of the semiautomatic rifles used in the massacre, according to a law enforcement source.

The source, who asked to remain anonymous because the case is ongoing, said officials have been trying to talk to man to see what he knows about the attack. It's far from clear whether the man had anything to do with the violence or even knew what Farook did with the guns, the source added. A second source said the guns were purchased three years ago.

Methinks Ricky effed up, big time.

Update: Ricky has checked himself into a mental ward since the attack.

By Howie at 07:16 PM | Comments |

Banned

Captain Arizona.

Update: 12/10: Unbanned.

By Howie at 05:17 PM | Comments |

Shocking! Islamic State Praises San Bernardino Jihadis

Of course ISIS will claim it, no matter their degree of involvement. Remember ISIS propaganda is designed to create these independent cells, just like AQ cells but self supported.

SAN BERNARDINO, Calif. (Reuters) - Islamic State said on Saturday that a married couple who killed 14 people in California in an attack the FBI is investigating as an "act of terrorism" were followers of the militant group based in Syria and Iraq.

The group's declaration, in an online radio broadcast comes three days after U.S.-born Syed Rizwan Farook, 28, and his spouse, Tashfeen Malik, 29, a native of Pakistan, carried out the attack on a holiday party for civil servants in San Bernardino, about 60 miles (100 km) east of Los Angeles.

The two died hours later in a shootout with police.

It would not matter one lick which Muslim blew his top ISIS would claim it. But there can be little doubt that Syed Farook and Tashfeen Malik knew this and intended to act on their behalf.

These operate with little or no support from any group, the wife is from an area that is known for its LeT activity.


LeT was responsible for the 2008 Mumbai attacks.

Update: More on the Pakistani terrorist group LeT here, here and here.

By Howie at 09:17 AM | Comments |

December 04, 2015

Muslima Tashfeen Malik Posts Allegiance to ISIS During Attack

So I suppose this means terrorism, no?

CNN)Investigators think that as the San Bernardino, California, attack was happening, female shooter Tashfeen Malik posted a pledge of allegiance to ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi on Facebook, three U.S. officials familiar with the investigation told CNN.



(We hear posting the Muslima's picture may be offensive.
If you find the Muslima's image offensive we recommend you pour bleach in your eyes.
On the other hand its now clear why Syed wanted to die.)

Malik's post was made on an account with a different name, one U.S. official said. The officials did not explain how they knew Malik made the post.

A law enforcement official said it appeared that Wednesday's attack -- which left 14 people dead and 21 wounded before the two attackers, Malik and her husband, Syed Rizwan Farook, were killed in a shootout with police -- may have been inspired by ISIS. But none of the officials said that ISIS directed or ordered the attack.

Shocking!

By Howie at 11:22 AM | Comments |

Sandcrawler PSA: Tread Lightly When Talking With Muslims About Baby Jesus

Because should said Muslim happen to have some AKs and pipe bombs Baby Jesus talk might force him murder you and 13 of your closest friends, regardless of the Pampers you sent to his baby shower.

One of the people killed in the brutal slayings in San Bernardino this week was a Messianic Jew, Nicholas Thalasinos. You may not have heard about that because there is no media narrative served by pointing it out. His particular religious belief, that Jesus Christ is his savior, is of no consequence to the sorts of people who drive the mainstream media’s dramatic storytelling.

Thursday’s coverage of the terror in San Bernardino was rife with lunacy and idiocy, and in that regard CNN had an especially banner day. But perhaps no moment was more awful or galling than when CNN correspondent Gary Tuchman interviewed the widow of the murdered, “outspoken” Christian man

Baby Jesus can at times upset the Religion of Peace. It may help if you are willing to admit that Islam is superior to Baby Jesus and pay the tax. Maybe, maybe not.

Just saying.

By Howie at 09:44 AM | Comments |

December 03, 2015

San Bernardino Shooting Motive May be Linked to 'Peaceful Islam'

As more news comes out about the suspects in the San Bernardino incident, it has been revealed that a possible trigger for the shooting may have been a conversation Syed Farook had with a colleague days before. Apparently, Farook claimed Islam is a peaceful religion, but his co-worker didn't buy it.

That seemed to be enough to send Farook over the edge:

It is also now known that just two weeks before the shooting rampage, Farook got into a heated argument with a Jewish colleague about Islam. The gunman's co-worker, 52-year-old Nicholas Thalasinos, was identified today as one of victims in the attacks.

Kuuleme Stephens said she happened to call Thalasinos while he was at work and having a discussion with Farook.

Thalasinos identified Farook by name and told her the 28-year-old believed Islam was a peaceful religion. She added that Farook said Americans don't understand Islam.

So, it was not his fault all those people had to die. It was Islamophobia and America's refusal to accept Islam is the Religion of Peace™.

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By DMartyr at 04:50 PM | Comments |

December 02, 2015

Attack in San Bernardino (Terrorism Earlier named Perpetrator Syed Farook Involved)

CNN:

Authorities in San Bernardino, California, responded Wednesday to reports of an active shooter or more than one shooter.

There were reports from the sheriff's department that there were one to three suspects. The fire department said it was responding to a "20 victim shooting incident."

There are reports of more than one shooter, which would indicate terrorism but those are not confirmed. So far as I can tell the target is some sort of rehabilitation facility.
Inland Regional Center's Facebook page says it employs nearly 670 staff at its facilities in San Bernardino and Riverside counties, providing services to more than 30,200 people.

It aims to "work on a personal, one-on-one basis with people with developmental disabilities to make their lives better as they define it."

I'll update as more information becomes available.

Update: 05:30 cst: One suspect in custody, just taken. 14 dead, 14 17 wounded.

The attack may have been on some sort of conference. But what meeting is unknown.

Now a second suspect and and officer down two miles away. the one scene the car is a black pickup with a camper shell or SUV.

Also Brian Ross reports another suspect hurt or dead in the truck.

If there are indeed three suspects the possibility it is an ISIS Paris style attack goes up. The possibility is is a lone left or right wing quack goes down.

Confirmed three suspects, two of whom are dead in custody.

Update: Now one suspect at large, not in custody.


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Confirmation:

Heavy: Syed Farook has been identified as one of the suspected gunmen in the Wednesday morning shooting at the Inland Regional Center in San Bernardino, California, according to CBS News

The Los Angeles Times, citing federal law enforcement sources, says one of the gunmen may have been at the Inland Regional Center earlier in the day and after leaving angrily, returned with one or two other men:.

There is a lot of chitchat today about motive, I suppose the details of the confrontation will bear this out. As for a planned attack, due to the equipment and bombs its quite possible there was planning for some sort of future attack.

If the earlier confrontation was part of the plan or resulted in a change of plan due to Baby Jesus offending Farook causing Sudden Jihad Syndrome will take some time to figure out.

Whatever, the message from Farook is Baby Jesus parties are haram.

By Howie at 03:08 PM | Comments |

Islamic State Murders Russian Spy

We have common cause with the Russians. Maybe not completely common interests, but we and the Russians stand on the side of civilization.


I will make a copy available for download by request shortly.

The video follows a familiar script, accusations, a confession, then the murder, much of the actual beheading is cut but enough is left to provide proof of the murder.

Here are some frame grabs.

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The video is available here by request only for a limited time.

By Howie at 12:47 PM | Comments |

Sadncrawler PSA: Welcome to Bumfuct Egypt

Enjoy your stay, drive careful, sometimes even that doesn't help.

Slightly Exaggerated Fact, 50% of all cars here have grille damage.

By Howie at 10:35 AM | Comments |

Hate 2016!

If you must understand how to get along with the radical side if Islam, I recommend The Quiet Man.

That is to stay if you stand and fight and earn respect, in the end you have a both friends and respect.

Enemies too, ha!.

If your enemies are Juan Cole, Vox and Crooks and Liars, well then you are my kind of scum.


By Howie at 10:00 AM | Comments |

December 01, 2015

Jawas Strike Back!

We have fans.

Utinni!

Hat Tip: Ratter.

The twenty-something artist, known only as VEW,

“It’s a propaganda war and our side needs to step up its game,”

Who says there is no hope for the youth?

By Howie at 03:09 PM | Comments |

Imperial Good News: Mohammed Mahmoud is Dead Jim!

These days we'll take good news where we can get it.

An Austrian jihadist who served time in prison in Vienna on terrorism charges and later joined Isis (the extremist Islamic State group) is believed to have died from injuries sustained during fighting in Syria, according to a report in the Österreich newspaper.

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An Austrian jihadist who served time in prison in Vienna on terrorism charges and later joined Isis (the extremist Islamic State group) is believed to have died from injuries sustained during fighting in Syria, according to a report in the Österreich newspaper.

The Turks released him despite an arrest warrant earlier this year, so all is well that ends well.

Türkiye emmek.

By Howie at 06:29 AM | Comments |