January 02, 2009
Anteaters, Stormtroopers Square Off in Iraq
A Jawa reader makes it to Iraq. Let the analogies begin!
Honestly, Now I know how a Stormtrooper feels when he is ordered to break up a bar fight in Tattooine. At first when he signed up he thought he'd be raiding rebel bases or watching Planets get destroyed; instead he is dealing with a bunch of pissed off locals in the middle of the asshole end of the empire while some f*cking muppet band plays a tune that is stuck in your head to the point that you will smack yourself with the claw of a hammer until the music stops.Wow, he even dropped some Kevin Smith action into it.I would make a crack about all the fat windowlickers on the death star getting fat on starbucks or what ever the hell they ate when they should have been covering a hole no larger that a whomp rat. They deserved to get blasted to hell. The second time too, (Except for the subcontractors that were installing toliet mains and what not).
We hope all is well on the front lines, which he assures me is much more mundane than he was expecting at first. So much so that there's talk of losing the combat pay for service in Iraq at some point in the future. A baseless rumor I'm sure, but for it to be kept in circulation must mean that things are pretty humdrum in Iraq these days.
We are anxiously awaiting for our Deacon in the Church of the Anteater to send pics.
He asked me to leave out the Muppet band part, but come on, that's a classic line right there. Now excuse my while I go take a hammer claw to my own head!
