November 11, 2008
John McCain Finally Defends Sarah Palin And Admits He's A Flaming Douche
LOS ANGELES – In his first interview since conceding the presidential election, John McCain said Tuesday that Sarah Palin did not damage his presidential bid and he dismissed anonymous criticism aimed at her following their crushing defeat. [Nope, no bias there. TH]
"I'm so proud of her and I'm very grateful she agreed to run with me. She inspired people, she still does," McCain told Jay Leno during a "Tonight Show" interview taped for broadcast Tuesday night. "I couldn't be happier with Sarah Palin."
In an interview that mingled flashes of humor with political analysis, McCain did little to deflect responsibility from himself. He alluded to the difficult political environment for Republicans nationwide and conceded, "I could tell you a lot of things that we may have made mistakes on." He never listed them.
Well, let me list them for him.
1. Your campaign sucked.
2. Your campaign sucked ass.
3. Your campaign made John Kerrey's campaign look cool, it sucked so bad.
4. Your campaign sucked so bad, it decided to throw the only good decision, picking Sarah Palin, under the bus when it was over.
5. You and your campaign, minus Sarah Palin, are flaming douches.
6. Next time you campaign for office, change the name of your bus to The Icarus Express.