June 02, 2008

And Now A Message For Joey Cohen From Ari

Dear Yusuck Al-Cohen, I bet it felt good yesterday to yell "Am Yisrael Die" at the passing school children who marched in the Salute to Israel Parade. I bet it felt good for a few hours to forget what a loser you are. As I watched you yell your venomous bullcrap at the passing kids, I wondered to myself what kind of loser would a 40 year old man have to be if he were to spend his time with a silly placard yelling silly slogans. Then it struck me. The kind of guy that would do that is the perfect loser. Yusuck, you're the perfect loser. Think about it. You were a loser when you moved to East Jerusalem. You were a loser in Morocco. Now, you're a loser bicycle cabbie in New York. You seem to even make enough money to buy a proper weight set. You're relegated to using water bottles and broomsticks. Its pathetic. Then again, it's always been pathetic. When you got married, you were relegated to choosing a woman whom, I can't imagine anybody else ever wanting. You're a loser for having married a woman who fell off the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down, and then fell into a tub of lard. If anybody should be "pumping water," it should be her. She could use the exercise. She, moreover, is a loser for having kept you around when you changed religions. She probably realized that with a face and body like that, she was unlikely to get married ever again. She was probably right. That's why she kept you around. I bet she doesn't even believe in that islamic nonsense that you believe in. Yusuf, in one of your videos, you called the fact that you and your family converted from orthodox Judaism to islam an "amazing fact." It's not amazing. It's entirely predictable. If you ever had the guts to read a book called "The True Believer" by Eric Hoffer, you would realized that losers such as yourself gravitate to movements such as islam. You started with orthodox Judaism. When you realized that you were still a loser after observing Judaism for all of those years, you figured that islam might represent an improvement. That somehow, you would stop being a loser. Nope, kiddo. You're still a pathetic loser. By the way, when I saw you yesterday at the parade, I yelled something to you. I yelled "Your wife is fat and ugly." Just in case you weren't completely sure what I said. Just so you know. Yusuf, I know that your religion permits you to beat your wife, but do you really have to "beat her with an ugly stick?" (Just in case your pea brain can't understand. I'm not accusing you of beating your wife. It's figurative. See: Ugly Stick. All the worst to you,

Ari

Just to be clear, I'm passing this on, on behalf of Ari to Youseff al-Khattab.