May 14, 2008

When Good Comments Go Bad

It seems I went off my rocker today.
It started with a bad mood caused by learning of a Pally-Rally to be held in my hometown tomorrow, and culminated in a severe case of blogarrhea in the comment on one of Howie's posts.
I just couldn't stop myself.

After apologizing to Howie for going ape-sh** in his comments, it was suggested by a couple of my fellow Jawa co-bloggers that I should post my commentary on the front page, rather than consigning it to Haloscan comments on an already forgotten thread.

So... okay.

From Howie's post:

I've been thinking, its really not accurate for al-Qaeda to call themselves a state any more. So maybe we should help them out and think up a new name for what's left of them. I have a few, add yours to the comments.

My response(s):

Why not just call them by name at this point?
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 1:53 pm | #

"MSNBC Newsflash - "In their most recent attack, Abdul, Imad and Faisal were able to infiltrate the Green Zone, kill two goats and make off with 13 spent shell casings. Developing..."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 1:55 pm | #

MSNBC Correction - "This just in from the Associated Press. It appears earlier accounts from Iraqi sources were exaggerated. According to confirmed MNF sources, we now learn that Faisal was injured while making OUT with a goat. Imad and Abdul were taken into custody while still trying to get back into their burkas. The spent shell casings have been recovered following several hours of intensive body cavity searches. Developing..."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 2:01 pm | #

MSNBC Update - "The whereabouts of the second goat cited in earlier reports, is unknown.
Iraqi police units are currently scouring Sadr City, and view the goat's retrieval as slightly more important to the war effort than locating Faisal, who's whereabouts are also unknown following his goat-violation and subsequent injury. Developing..."

Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 2:05 pm | #


"In a stunning turn of events, Faisal is now in custody, having been turned in by the goat.

The war is over."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 2:06 pm | #

CNN Newsflash:

"MSNBC has declared the war over. Therefore we must bring our troops home NOW, before U.S. forces become embroiled in the looming civil war between Iraqis and goats, that most experts agree cannot be avoided."

"More hand-wringing after the break..."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 2:11 pm | #

CBC Editorial:

"Clearly these goats are the hand of God, and we ask you to make a donation to help them continue in their good works...."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 2:13 pm | #

al-Jazeera Rebuttal:

"al-Jazeera has learned that Mossad agents have been providing training and material support to goats for over 30 years.... Developing..."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 2:14 pm | #

Israeli government Press Release:

"We deny the allegations that Israel has in any way collaborated with goats, who as you know are not kosher.
In an effort to reach some consensus on this issue with our Arab neighbors, we'd like to give you the Golan Heights."

Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 2:19 pm | #

Response to Israeli proposal from League Of Arab Nations -

"Thank you for the Golan Heights. Now give us Jerusalem, or we will make it look like you are also in league with wombats."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 2:21 pm | #

Drudge Report:

"Wombats deny allegations of cooperation with Zionist Entity and withdraw embassy from Tel Aviv"
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 2:22 pm | #

FOX Facts:

"Wombats and goats both share an affinity for Bill O'Reilley"
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 2:39 pm | #

"The United Wombat-Goat Coalition (UWGC) emphatically denies the racist and demeaning suggestion that there exists any affinity for Bill O'Reilley within the goat or wombat populations.

But we like Shep Smith just fine. He's one of us."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 3:17 pm | #

InterTrobe Genetics Laboratory Inter-Office Memo:

While test confirm that Sheppard Smith is in fact a goat-wombat hybrid, we would like to remind our employees of the non-disclosure agreements you have all signed prior to your employment here.

InternTrobe seeks to avoid the geopolitical implications implicit in these test results, and we are concerned that premature disclosure of the results may result in a declaration of jihad against Sheppard Smith for his ties to the goat and wombat communities, and his connection to events that led to the arrest of Faisal in Iraq.

Thank you.
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 3:22 pm | #

Daily Kos Comments:

"Fuck those Joo goats. And fuck Shep Smith and FOX news too. I always know that son of a bitch was in league with wombats and joos. Fucking neocon tool"
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 3:24 pm | #

Ron Paul Campaign Headquarters:

"See? We told you so."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 3:25 pm | #

Westboro Baptist Church sign:

"God Hates Fags and Wombats."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 3:28 pm | #

Rush Limbaugh:

"The goats and wombats are a distraction. The real problem is Sheppard Smith."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 3:30 pm | #


"In what has been described as a pivotal moment for world peace, the Arab League, Israelis, Palestinians, Goats, Wombats, Cable News, talk radio and the populations of over 142 nations have all agreed that Sheppard Smith is really the problem."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 3:33 pm | #

Geraldo Rivera:

"Bullshit. O'Reilley is the problem."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 3:34 pm | #

New York Sun -
"Former governor Eliot Spitzer was arraigned early today on charges of paying for sex with wombats, goats and Geraldo Rivera.

Mr. Rivera and the wombats were unavailable for questioning, but the goats said emphatically, "Naaaaaaaaahhh", refuting the charges.
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 3:38 pm | #

Dr. Rusty Shackleford -

"We have been forced to relieve Kafir Alalazoo from his duties as a co-blogger at The Jawa Report, after an unfortunate incident in the comments.

We have advised Mr. Alalazoo to seek professional help, and we wish him well on his road to recovery.

We have also been forced to remove several badly traumatized goats and wombats from Mr. Alalazoo's custody, and place them in the care of the San Diego zoo.
Charges are pending."

Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 3:42 pm | #

San Diego Zoo Promotional Announcement:

"Come visit the San Diego zoo's new goat and wombat exhibit. You'll learn all about the Arab-Israeli conflict, the media and the dangers of blogging."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 3:45 pm | #

Loose Change 3rd Edition:

"Internal documents from the U.S. Department of State confirm a nexus between the Bush white house and various factions within the goat and wombat intelligence communities. These documents provide clear evidence that Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and Paul Wolfowitz knowingly conflated reports of al-Qaeda connections to the wombat underground.

In fact it was these men who financed and supplied the goats during flight training, and instructed wombat agents in the use of controlled demolitions to take out the south tower of The World Trade Center."
Kafir Alalazoo | Homepage | 05.13.08 - 4:00 pm | #

Thank God my wife called me at that point, or I might still be at it!
Since you bothered to read to this point, here's your reward:

By at 01:41 AM | Comments |