March 01, 2006

Jane Fonda-Ted Turner Threesome Sex Tape (videos we'd pay NOT to see)

Last year the Jawa Report brought you news that Jane Fonda had participated in some three-way action at the insistence of the husband of her youth, Roger Vadim. Let's just say the thought of a young Jane Fonda, straight out of Barbarella, with another woman is not one that is too unpleasant.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Jane Fonda is a traitor. But, come on, the chick was a swinger baby! We'll call that the good Jane Fonda treasonous manage a trois. (As opposed to that other kind of manage a trois, which is always bad--you know, like the kind in Chasing Amy)

When does a Jane Fonda treasonous manage a trois get bad?

Fast forward to the way-past-her-prime Mrs. Ted Turner Jane Fonda days. Now try hard not to imagine a managa a trois which includes the mustached one. Now try even harder not to imagine that manage a trois featuring an ex-hippie/aging aerobics instructor with a man who believed he could single-handedly end the Cold War with a pathetic substitute for the Olympics--on video. NY Sun [Warning: before proceeding, please note you may need many years of therapy to get the following non-graphic images out of your head]:

"Prisoner of X," Allan MacDonell's account of his experiences as an editor at Hustler magazine, describes a purported video in which Fonda, Turner and an unidentified brunette have sex on camera.

MacDonell's description is too graphic for a family newspaper. Suffice it to say that the purported Fonda is allegedly wearing artificial equipment to pleasure the alleged Turner while he services the brunette and asks the camera operator, "Are you getting this?"

(The racy content was corroborated yesterday by two former Hustler colleagues who say they screened the tape, former editor Mike McPadden and another ex-editor who asked for anonymity.)

The Sun also reports that Larry Flynt refused to corraborate the video, but chimed, "It's not like capturing a hypocritical congressman in the sack." Yeah, nothing worse than hypocrisy. Not even treason, eh Larry?

Others: We Love Celebs

[Note: not that I support any managa a trois, but I've got to admit, some sins are more intriguing than others]

Sent to Joyner, because, you know, he just swings that way.
And to Basil, because he's hip to it.

UPDATE: I've decided to give up Jane Fonda three-way videos for Lent.

UPDATE II: So, I can't properly spell menage a trois! It's not like I've had that much practice. But I'm willing to learn.....

UPDATE III: Welcome Wonkette readers! Alas, if only the previoius incarnation of Wonkette (Anna Marie, why has thou forsaken us?) and our long lost love Washingtonienne (ah, my lovely Jessica...) would consider a menage a trois a la Rusty, I'm sure they'd educate me properly on the proper spelling of various dirty French phrases.

Just so you Wonkette readers feel at home, today's word is: ANAL

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 05:49 PM | Comments |