July 26, 2005

Bin Laden and the Poisoned Cocaine

Crazy, amazing story up at the NY Post. (Registration required-numbskulls!) Sources told the DEA that Osama met with Colombian cartel leaders, and discussed buying tens of millions of dollars worth of cocaine from them, poisoning it, and shipping it on to America to kill thousands of cokeheads.

The evil plot failed when the Colombian drug lords bin Laden approached decided it would be bad for their business - and, possibly, for their own health, according to law-enforcement sources familiar with the Drug Enforcement Administration's probe of the aborted transaction. The feds were told of the scheme earlier this year, but its existence had never been made public. The Post has reviewed a document detailing the DEA's findings in the matter, in addition to interviewing sources familiar with the case.

Damn tootin' it would be bad for business! (pun intended.) Let's see: the cartels have a guaranteed annual income in the, oh, high hundred millions from these people, and Mister Turban Pants here wants to murder them all at once? Ever hear that story about the goose and the golden egg? That's a no-brainer for these rational businessmen, especially since such a collaboration would cause America to go all Clear & Present Danger--or more likely, Without Remorse-- upon their comfortable, secure buttockses.

So it's no surprise that the cartels turned Osama down. What's surprising is that he made such an idiotic offer in the first place--if in fact he did, and this source isn't just shining the DEA on. (Which I think is the most likely explanation for this story.)

And the other huge surprise is that in 2002, the Cartel leaders allowed themselves to meet with this guy. That's a huge risk right there. In fact...

If this meeting really happened, I think what went down is this. The Cartels saw a huge opportunity here--negotiate with Bin Laden, shine him on, string him along...

...and put in a back-channel call to the CIA, saying that "we're meeting with Osama bin Laden at a certain secret place in a week, and we'll give him to you if you'll just look the other way on us for fifteen years. Nobody has to know, you guys just pick up OBL, and we just stay out of the picture and mind our own business".

That's what I'd do, if I were a cartel leader.

If you were President Bush, and you got that offer, what would you do?

PS: This Foxnews article has the same story without the registration requirement, plus a note about a story that somehow escaped my watchful eye: in April, we arrested Osama's (alleged) top heroin broker. In New York City.

By See-Dubya at 02:32 PM | Comments |