May 16, 2005

Buddhist riots still ongoing after Bamiyan

The destruction of the Bamiyan Buddhas by the Taliban in March 2001 has had far-reaching implications. Today, the Dalai Lama personally defecated in the smoking ruins of a blood-smeared Uighur mosque, the latest sad, sad, completely fictional happening in an ugly campaign of anti-Muslim violence that has shaken the world since the venerated statues of the Buddha were destroyed by Taliban iconoclasts. "Karma's a bitch, ain't it?" said the sprightly, grinning hierophant, cleansing himself with the tattered turban of an elderly imam.

UNESCO director Koichiro Matsuura said at the time, "As inexcusable as this action is, I hope that it will not provide fanatics elsewhere with an excuse for acts of destruction targeting Muslim cultural properties". Little did he realize the extent of the horrendous wave of riots, lynchings, and desecrations the Taliban's actions would engender. Some moderate Buddhists have condemned the Dalai Lama's harsh words, but have largely been intimidated into silence by a small band of noisy extremists--who do not represent mainstream Buddhism-- that marched through major Asian cities in million-strong protests this week. There is little the frightened moderates can do to stop the worldwide wave of sectarian Buddhist violence, often by itinerant bands of kung-fu-fighting Shaolin monks, against symbols and practitioners of the Islamic faith.

"Buddhism is a religion of peace, but we were provoked," said Drunken Monkey Master Qong Xi. "Their chickens have come home to roost, and are being methodically Kentucky Fried. What did they expect when they defaced these important cultural symbols of our religion? Besides, these Bamiyan statues were one of a kind, irreplaceable works of art, not the sort of thing that has been reproduced millions of times the world over."

Western human rights activists were flummoxed by the ongoing devastation and seemed generally baffled when asked for comment. "Buddhists v. Islam...Not touching that one with a ten-foot pole," confided one UN official.

UPDATE: Jeff Harrell has photoshopic evidence of efforts to accommodate Buddhist (and American) rage.

By See-Dubya at 07:56 PM | |