December 13, 2004

Meet the New Hot Abercrombie Chick: Witty Sex Kitten

"How do you start a winning blog?" asked the WaPo yesterday. Forget what Bill at INDC says. Jeff G. comes closer, but misses the mark. The key to blogging is this: nipples.

Someone with a blog named Witty Sex Kitten dropped a comment today. What better way to attract attention in the sea of unread blogs than to put the phrase sex kitten in your title? Oh, but make sure that if you do sex kitten schtick you pose as a girl. This is crucial.

Seriously, there's good Witty Sex Kitten Schtick and there's bad Witty Sex Kitten schtick. What's the difference??

Start with the avatar. An avatar is a kind of visual image used to embody a person's online persona. For instance Moxie's boots, Beth's girl at the computer, or Little Miss Atilla's demure hottie.

Good Witty Sex Kitten avatar:


Bad Witty Sex Kitten avatar:

Next if you're going to do schtick like this make sure you post an online picture of yourself. Take a lesson from HAC Amanda Doerty--post a picture of a hot chick and pretend that it's you! Cause there is something trite and boring about another dude discussing the metaphysical assumptions behind affirmative action, but there's something intriguing and interesting about a hot young thang discussing the ontology of gay marriage.

Good Witty Sex Kitten fake pic:

Bad Witty Sex Kitten fake pic:


Last, make sure you know that there may be a big disconnect between the reasons you're blogging and the reasons your readers come back regularly. For instance, Amanda Doerty blogs because 'she' thinks 'she' has something important to say about politics and philosophy. However 'she' is well aware that 'her' consumers come to her blog to flirt with 'her', hence 'her' pic is on every page. Wonkette thinks she is witty, but her consumers read her stuff just waiting for the next anal sex reference. It's kind of like Howard Stern for the crowd living in their mother's basement. Moral of the story: make sure that either your fake pic is plastered on every page or you throw in plenty of reference to back door action. What you write is only tangential to the fantasy you project to your readers.

You know, I think I've learned something here today.......From this day, henceforth and forever, we shall be known as the Hot Lesbo Star Wars Report!! and I shall be known as Princess Brittney Spears. Here is my pic. I'm on the left. Toodles.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 06:29 PM | Comments |