December 02, 2004

Please Issue a Fatwa Against Me

It has been far too long since I received a death threat from a member of the Religion of Peace. So in the spirit of free speech, a concept that is uniquely part of Western secularism, I offer the following. Have I reminded you all lately that the penalty for blasphemy in Islam is very explicit? Death.

There is no God named Allah, and Muhammed is not a Prophet.

Via Robert Spencer this UPI article:

Geert Wilders is a marked man. Ever since the slaying of Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh on Nov. 2, the controversial anti-Islam politician has been living in fear for his life. He has had 20 to 30 death threats -- including one offering 72 virgins in paradise to any Muslim who beheads him....Like Pim Fortuyn, the openly gay former columnist who rocked Holland's cozy political establishment with his anti-immigration rhetoric before he was gunned down in May 2002, Wilders believes Islam is a "backward religion" that has not gone through the same reformation as Christianity or Judaism and makes no separation between divine and earthly powers. "The political culture of Islam is retarded, and we should keep it as far away from us as possible. It is not our culture and religion, so it should not become dominant in the Netherlands or Europe."
Ooh, I like that last line.

Islam is retarded.

You offended yet? Just wait, I'm just warming up.

I'm burning a copy of the Koran right now. I put the fire out by pissing on it.

BBC:

In October, a Pakistani man was sentenced to life imprisonment for burning a copy of the Koran under the same laws.
Whew, good thing that the Pakis have moderated their stance on killing blasphemers.

Muhammed was a child molester. He also liked to take it up the ass.

Ibid:

Iqbal Ahmad, a member of the Ahmediya community, was found guilty of being disrespectful to the Prophet Muhammad in a mosque near Faisalabad....
Q: If the Muhammed hadn't sought out all those infidels to murder and rape, would Allah have sent the infidels to Muhammed?

Persian Journal:

...a UK-based Iranian exile TV presenter whose inflammatory broadcasts insulting Islam have provoked religious hardliners in Iran to call openly for his murder...."The firing of a bullet into his damned and blasphemous head is an incontestable necessity, and how cherished is the emissary of that bullet," Hossein Shariatmadari, editor-in-chief of the hardline Kayhan daily, said in an editorial.
Q. Why do Islamist schools alternate Sex Education classes with Drivers Ed.?

A. They only have one camel.

From Hamas' official website:

As a result of the fact that those Muslims who adhere to the ways of the Islamic Resistance Movement spread all over the world, rally support for it and its stands, strive towards enhancing its struggle, for the encouragement of its Jihad, and strive for its victory, the Movement is a universal one.....This is the status [of the land] in Islamic Sharia (law), and the same goes for all lands conquered by Muslims by force, during the times of (Islamic) conquests (eg, Israel, Spain, parts of Southeastern Europe, etc), and made thereby Waqf lands upon their conquest, for all generations of Muslims until the Day of Resurrection.
Take my Muslim wife...please! Oh, and my sons, and my daughters. Hell, Allah, take them all.

MEMRI TV:

"I am prepared to sacrifice my life. All I want is martyrdom. I'm willing for all my children to become martyrs. May my husband also become a martyr, and Allah willing, may I die as a martyr."
What? No freaking fatwa yet? Not even a death threat or two?

Q: What did Muhammed's navy and camels have in common?

A: They're both full of Mujahadin seamen

Lawyer R. Moszkowicz has demanded on behalf of a group of Muslims a ban on the release of a continuation of the movie 'Submission' by parliamentary representative of the V.V.D. Ayaan Hirsi Ali and the murdered moviemaker Theo van Gogh....

These Muslims also want the judge to forbid Hirsi Ali from giving her opinion on Islam in a hurtful, aggrieving or blasphemous way in the future.

One of Muhammed's 72 virgins laughs when he whips it out.

"Who do you expect to please with that little thing?" she says.

"Me!"

PolitInfo:

Experts on regional militant groups say there is compelling circumstantial evidence that Bashir knows more about terrorism than he admits. They note that many of the men so far convicted of the (Bali and Marriott) bombings were graduates of the Islamic school he founded and ran.
An Imam and Kofi Annan walk down the street and see a little boy. The Imam says "lets screw him" and Annan says "out of what?"

Yahoo news on ICRC claims of torture (torture defined by the ICRC as prostitutes taunting prisoners) at Gitmo:

on at least seven known instances, they are people who, upon release from Gitmo, have immediately returned to terrorism — including the kidnapping and beheading of a Chinese citizen on the Pakistan-Afghan border.
Q-- What's the difference between a Christian blow-up doll and a Muslim blow-up doll?

A-- The Muslim one blows itself up.

NRO:

James Mollen, 48, cheerfully spent 16 months improving Iraq’s beleaguered schools and linking some to the Internet. Nonetheless, a Zarqawi-tied assassin fatally shot Mollen in the head as he drove through Baghdad November 24.
Q: What do you call a Muslim that shags sheep (Muhammed's other favorite past time)?

A: Ramalam

Ibid:

The Headquarters for Commemorating Martyrs of the Global Islamic Movement (HCMGIM) recently let 300 applicants choose among preparing for suicide attacks on U.S. soldiers in Iraq, similar assaults in Israel, or assassination attempts on Salman Rushdie, the British author of The Satanic Verses against whom the late Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini issued a 1989 fatwa.
Let the hate mail begin!!

*I don't really hate Muslims. I apologize for the Muslim jokes above, they were insensitive, stupid, etc. But I do hate any social system that responds to the above offensive material by resorting to force or coersion. Inasmuch as most of the above would get me either killed or put in prison in the Islamic world----well, I can only say this says something about the underlying philosophy which would breed such intolerance. Tolerance is not about loving or accepting something, it is about allowing that which you disagree with to be done. If even moderate Sharia law would prohibit me saying any of the above, than it is an oppressive legal system.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 09:28 AM | Comments |