November 10, 2004

George Lucas, I am your biyatch!

Dear George Lucas,
I just got through watching the trailor for Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, and although I am not gay I would gladly let you have me now if you were so inclined. I must admit that I was bracing myself for the worst when I clicked View Theater Trailor, but something began to tingle in me, it was something primal, when the first voice I heard was that of Alec Guiness....... If the movie is half as good as the trailor, I will personally buy the KY. I'm yours. You're the pitcher and I'm the catcher.

Does this make me gay? No, but like Gary I am willing to take one for the team.

If it is your will, my Master, I am also willing to kill Daniel Drezner. Supply me with a lite-saber, and I will strike him down so he can bad mouth you no more!

I also emplore you to send the Death Star to take out Kevin in Korea. I know you have a heart, Master, even if it is the good kind--you know, artificial.

Pejamanesque, I believe my Lord, may be converted to the dark-side. I can feel the hate growing in his voice. Pejamanesque, I am your father!

I know, Sith Lord Lucas, that I have been guilty of Drezner's crime in the past. I humbly beg your forgiveness. If it be Thy will, you may also strike me down like the dog I am. But if you do, know that I will be more powerful in death than you can imagine. But even in death, I would serve you.

So, Lord Lucas, I humbly pray that those who bad-mouth you will be striken by the curse of Jar-Jar. I know, Master, that it could not have been you who introduced that idiotic character--I blame the Hollywood liberal elite.

In conclusion, Sir, I will always remain your humble Paduan learner/biyatch.

Love XOXOXOXOXO,
Rusty Shackleford

PS-Master, this man seems to think himself some Jedi Knight. What is thy bidding on this imp Ace?

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 09:04 AM | |