December 01, 2015

Imperial Good News: Mohammed Mahmoud is Dead Jim!

These days we'll take good news where we can get it.

An Austrian jihadist who served time in prison in Vienna on terrorism charges and later joined Isis (the extremist Islamic State group) is believed to have died from injuries sustained during fighting in Syria, according to a report in the Österreich newspaper.


An Austrian jihadist who served time in prison in Vienna on terrorism charges and later joined Isis (the extremist Islamic State group) is believed to have died from injuries sustained during fighting in Syria, according to a report in the Österreich newspaper.

The Turks released him despite an arrest warrant earlier this year, so all is well that ends well.

Türkiye emmek.

By Howie at 06:29 AM | Comments |

November 30, 2015

Sandcrawler PSA: Traditional Holiday Jawa Recipe

I know there has been a lot going on in the world and I've not been blogging. I had to make time for traditional Jawa holiday activities as well as recover.

Anyway if you would like to participate in commemorating that wonderful period of American history known as Prohibition here's what you'll need.


A couple of five gallon water jugs, clean but no soap, I find a car wash wand on rinse works well. Soap interferes with things so no soap just clean water. It also helps if your jugs are left to you by say your late grandfather or something. Its a tradition man.

So you need a cool, dry place say a bit cooler than inside 55 to 65 average anyway. 70 is a bit warm for my taste but that's as high as I'd go.

A couple of corks with with holes for your tube or bloopers. You can get these blooper thingys at any good liquor supply or craft brewery or off the internet for $1.49.

OK so left side, I made a screw up, one of my 3 quart bottles was not white grape, it was white grape and cherry. So we'll see if that turns out to be a happy mistake. The right side is the old standard Concord Grape.

Here we go, Take four pounds of pure cane sugar and some distilled water and combine in large pan, heat till the sugar is dissolved, in the mean time warm 1/3 cup of water to tepid and throw in a pinch of sugar and your plain old Fleischmann's yeast in there, stir a bit, cover, set asside.

Using a new clean funnel, not the one for your car man, add 3 quarts of white grape and cherry juice to your first jug there. Now 9 quarts of white grape. I just use Welch's but whatever, it will work even from concentrate just be sure to use distilled water. For each batch I figure 3 gallons of Juice and two gallon of water but you'll have some water left because the sugar takes up space.

Then add the sugar water and top off with distilled water. Leave a little air at the top so that if things foam up on you it doesn't make a big ass mess. (Have an old towel handy that you can use just in case if foams up on you and makes a big old mess).

No go back and get your corks and blooper thingys, soak the corks a bit and put your thingys in them, add water so that air can only escape out the corks but not get back in, alternately you can use a tube into a glass of water if you don't have the blooper thingys. Air back in is bad as it will make vinegar as the wine oxidizes,.

If'n you cork this stuff with no way for the carbon dioxide the yeast makes to get out, it will explode and make a huge mess.

Now pour your yeast mixture in there..... Put your corks with your bloopers on there, make sure there ain't no leaks.

Along about 8 weeks from now we should be ready to bottle this stuff. Ya'll can come over and we'll try it out, or just make some *yourself. We'll check on it every now and then, but don't drink it or disturb it before then, don't move it around.

So anyway, later Jawas.

Read More "Sandcrawler PSA: Traditional Holiday Jawa Recipe"
By Howie at 12:54 PM | Comments |

November 29, 2015

Um Jihadi Not Proud

Where is his mommy?

By Howie at 08:22 AM | Comments |

November 26, 2015

Sandcrawler PSA: Kid! Jawa Report is Closed on Thanksgiving!

All dumps are closed on Thanksgiving.

Eat well Jawas, you earned it.

By Howie at 11:59 PM | Comments |

Ooopsie Portly Jew Kicks Muslim's Ass

For shame.....

By Howie at 12:07 PM | Comments |

November 25, 2015

Taliban: All You White People Look Alike!

Yesterday the Taliban announced they had captured two Americans when an ANA helicopter was forced to land in territory they controlled.

Yeah, about that:

Moldova’s interior minister on Wednesday said that three citizens were on a helicopter ambushed by Taliban insurgents in northwestern Afghanistan.

The interior minister, Oleg Balan, said in Chisinau that two Moldovan pilots and a flight engineer were operating the helicopter, which he said belonged to a Moldovan company doing a U.N. peacekeeping mission.

Afghan officials said the privately contracted helicopter, which was carrying military personnel, made an emergency landing Tuesday in a Taliban-controlled region of the Faryab province after suffering a technical problem.

Not American, which is good ... but still a bummer for the two Moldovans who are apparently being held captive by the Taliban.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 01:07 PM | Comments |

Shocking News! CAIR Victim Arrested For Attempting to Join ISIS

Famous last words come back to haunt Saadiq Long, "If the U.S. government wanted me to question or arrest or prosecute me, they could have had me in a minute."

A military veteran and Oklahoma native who became the face against “Islamophobia” in 2013 faces charges after he was recently arrested along the Turkish-Syrian border.

Officials said the Muslim man, Saadiq Long, 45, was attempting to join ISIS.

We accept your invitation Mr. Long. Please have a seat, someone will be attending to you shortly.

Well maybe not shortly, whatever.

Hat Tip: CA Patriot.

By Howie at 10:55 AM | Comments |

The New America! Offensive Bibles!

Bible's are bad mkay.

You know what’s also bad manners? Being such an insufferable douchebag that the mere sight of a Bible causes a meltdown.
Guests seeking a Bible at Northern Illinois University‘s campus hotel now must call the front desk after a secular group complained that the sacred scripture had no place in the nightstand.Sigh.......

By Howie at 09:13 AM | Comments |

Out: Moderate Muslims
In: Jihadi John Beautiful, Kind and Humble

If Jihadi John was your brand of kind then step right up, otherwise get lost.

Despite allegedly banning journalists Mona Eltahawy, London’s School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS) is proudly hosting Asim Qureshi of the Salafist ‘human rights’ group CAGE tonight at an event called “Islamophobia and British values”.

Mr. Qureshi has personally described the ISIS executioner Jihadi John as a “beautiful”, “kind” and “humble” man.

Liberal Muslim Ms. Eltahawy is unpopular with many conservative Muslims after writing books such as Headscarves and Hymens: Why the Middle East Needs a Sexual Revolution and speaking out against sexual violence in the Islamic world and the rise of the Muslim Brotherhood in her native Egypt

So wonder what CAGE has been up to. It seems they are all aflutter at the prospects for funding after a recent court ruling.

So awesome!

By Howie at 09:11 AM | Comments |

Muslima Sabina Selimovic Beaten To Death in Islamic State

She committed a crime, that crime being fleeing the suck that is Islamic State.

Hat Tip: Bemet'Or.

By Howie at 08:46 AM | Comments |

November 24, 2015

Sandcrawler PSA: Ya'll Had One Job

All I asked was that Ya'll not let the world go to pot while I was out, look at the mess you left me to clean up.

I'm back! Send money.

By Howie at 04:19 PM | Comments |

It's Worse: Two US Soldiers Allegedly Captured by Taliban -- UPDATE: US Denies, but might be American Contractors


No words:

The Taliban in Afghanistan reportedly captured 13 Afghan soldiers in Faryab province on the border of Turkmenistan Tuesday after a helicopter crash, Reuters reported. Three soldiers were killed in the crash, police said. The helicopter could have also been carrying U.S. military personnel.
The Taliban are claiming that two US soldiers made it out alive and are now in their custody:


They are also showing the body of a man they claim is a dead US soldier. The body in question, though, appears to be that of ANA, not American. That's according to someone on Twitter who responded to the image. Either way, that one I'm not posting.

They also claim they shot down the helicopter. It's not clear why the helicopter crashed, what is clear is that the photo they are tweeting with the statement is a photoshop. A bad one.


You'll notice that I removed the name of the person tweeting. Why? REASONS.

UPDATE: It looks like there were no American military on board, and maybe even no Americans -- NYT:

But American officials said there were no American citizens aboard the aircraft. Officials said that they were looking into the possibility that an American company was operating the aircraft under contract with the Afghan Army but that they could not confirm whether that was the case.

Col. Michael T. Lawhorn, a spokesman for United States forces in Afghanistan, said that although he was aware of reports of an aircraft crash, “we have no reports at this time of any Americans being on board.”

So let's hope that the Taliban jumped the gun on this and misidentified those captured. Worst case is that these are US contractors.

The good news is that the Taliban aren't ISIS. If Americans are on board, they won't kill them, they'll hold out for ransom. Yeah, I know, not really "good news", but it's better than some of the alternatives.

By Rusty Shackleford, Ph.D. at 12:38 PM | Comments |